Female on Male Violence

CDfm · 27-02-2010 12:50am

unreggd wrote: »

There's plenty of couples where the woman is a lot bigger/stronger than the man

Thats me and she can pick me up do.

Its good to be me.

Just because someone is fit and strong does not make them aggressive.

Will · 27-02-2010 12:52am

I was being serious when I felt hurt when the woman punched the air. Even though it was staged using actors im sure there has been times when a similar situation played out for real.

As much as we like to ignore the fact we do feel pain, both emotional and physical and it is made all the worse when it is doled out by someone you are going out with or married to. Coupled with the emasculation of being beaten by a woman. The ladies response of punching the air only added insult to injury in my books.

Imagine 2 guys or 2 women in a brawl where one isn't fighting back, and someone male or female walks by and punches the air. Horrible.

To those criticising me for giving out a ban, icky thumps response trivialised a very serious issue for both men and women in abusive relationships. Whether meaning to or not he laughed in the face of those who are on the receiving end of such atrocities... in my opinion.

Paulegend · 27-02-2010 1:10am

Icky Thump wrote: »

im so turned on right now:D

Will wrote: »

To those criticising me for giving out a ban, icky thumps response trivialised a very serious issue for both men and women in abusive relationships. Whether meaning to or not he laughed in the face of those who are on the receiving end of such atrocities... in my opinion.

wow. gotta say i cant see it

wheteher we want to be sensitive about this or not it is not the same thing

men hitting women is ALOT differnet to women hitting men

i accept that alot of couples women can be stronger but abuse is abuse........................

tiger woods cheated so fair enough:D just kidding. im sure we would all expect our other halves to respond the way his missus did.

men shouldnt hit women but women shouldnt hit men either. if they do then get out of the relationship. no way does she just turn around 5 or 6 years into the relationship and start swinging. no matter what you are going to say there would have been signs of aggresion whether its a guy or a girl.

and as for will. tut tut banning someone like that:D abuse i say abuse haha. just messing mate. i know what you mean about the chick celebrating. in my opinion thats just her bad attitude and is the exact type of chick that would punch her guy. sickening that anyone is like that. never mind it being a women.

but it really isnt the same as a guy beating a girl. i refuse to accept that

Will · 27-02-2010 1:15am

Maybe physically the results may differ, but emotionally and psychologically the effects of being beaten by your significant other are more or less the same.

CDfm · 27-02-2010 1:16am

Will - you find it an uncomfortable topic as lots of guys do. Maybe Icky Thumps was too.

I think the reason is that you are judging it by your values and it offends you.

How would you react say if you were out and a girl started thumping a friend at a party or whatever.

@paullegend

men hitting women is ALOT differnet to women hitting men

No it isnt - coercion and intimidation is the same no matter who does it.

How is it different ???

Paulegend · 27-02-2010 1:21am

Will wrote: »

Maybe physically the results may differ, but emotionally and psychologically the effects of being beaten by your significant other are more or less the same.

yes but i think the same for women been beaten by men.............

if you are with a guy or a girl who is like that then stop being with them

there are always early signs ALWAYS

i wouldnt wish it on anyone but my thinking on an issue such as this is

you are an idiot if you stay in an abusive relationship.

sure its never as simple as because you have to .............. bla bla bla

if your significant other is beating you then get out of the relationship. if you stayed long enough to have kids you are again an idiot because heres a secret they never change.

man up people

CokaColumbo · 27-02-2010 1:22am

This YouTube channel may be of interest to some fellows:

http://www.youtube.com/user/manwomanmyth

Also, here are some statistics on domestic violence in Ireland:

http://www.amen.ie/Papers/15270.htm

I hope these are relevant to the discussion.

Paulegend · 27-02-2010 1:25am

CDfm wrote: »

@paullegend

No it isnt - coercion and intimidation is the same no matter who does it.

How is it different ???

on the odd occasion women are tougher than the guys in relationships................ on the very very rare odd occasion that is

i dont mean to put women down by saying this but if a guy ever hit a woman he should be locked up. if a woman hits a guy just leave her for feck sake. they wont track you down and kill you(if they try then ok you have a problem)

and as i said above a weapon is dangerous in anyones hands.

i just dont see why anyone is sad enough to stay in an abusive relationship. we have balls for a reason(no offense intended)

Darlughda · 27-02-2010 1:26am

iptba wrote: »

Have you looked at the video yet in the first message?

Yes

CDfm wrote: »

I am not stirring here - I just think we should abhor it but also be realistic about it and acknowlege it.

Fair enough CDfm, I thought this was going to be another tiresome gender war and getting away from the real issues like domestic violence.

iptba wrote: »

Would you say something like that to somebody highlighting domestic violence against women (which we certainly hear plenty about)?.

Yes I am rather unpopular because of how outspoken I am. I firmly believe in not letting gender wars get into the debate on domestic violence. You have no idea what I have been through in defending my position as a feminist who has experienced abuse against women who turn it into a gender issue and thus solidifying the victim role.

For what its worth, I'm learning a lot from this thread, and I have always taken it on board that it is hard for men to talk about this in terms of the violence as usually being perceived as perpetrated by women. Nonetheless, the issue of abuse is the core one here not of gender.

Paulegend · 27-02-2010 1:27am

CokaColumbo wrote: »

This YouTube channel may be of interest to some fellows:

http://www.youtube.com/user/manwomanmyth

Also, here are some statistics on domestic violence in Ireland:

http://www.amen.ie/Papers/15270.htm

I hope these are relevant to the discussion.

good work mate. very interesting

CokaColumbo · 27-02-2010 1:59am

Paulegend wrote: »

i just dont see why anyone is sad enough to stay in an abusive relationship. we have balls for a reason(no offense intended)

What if you have kids with a female, abusive partner?
If you leave, you will lose all rights to be with your children. You will be recorded as having abandoned your family. You will also lose your house. Your wife will also be highly likely to abuse the children if you leave because she will be inherently abusive as a person and nobody will be there to a) absorb the abuse and b) protect the young ones.

If you stay and eventually, in self defence, hit your abusive wife, she becomes immensely powerful over you. The state and judiciary discriminates against male partners and fathers. They will almost always side with the woman because men in general are seen as 'the aggressors' and women, 'the victims'. No matter what she has done to you, you will be the one to suffer the consequences. This is perhaps most notable in Britain. Women can hide behind the 'defenceless, female image' i.e. their sex. The exact opposite is the case for men. I do not intend to demonise women here; its just the truth.

Men are trapped. They are discriminated against by society over this issue in particular, simple as.

Domestic violence is not a gender issue as the state and many feminist charities will have the world believe. It is a social issue that affects a surprisingly large number of men.

Again, the link: http://www.amen.ie/Papers/15270.htm

CDfm · 27-02-2010 2:10am

Paulegend wrote: »

on the odd occasion women are tougher than the guys in relationships................ on the very very rare odd occasion that is

LOL - I know a woman hockey player and I met her out when the team were having a social.She was a really good friend until she moved away.

Get real - how many little guys do you know that can beat up big guys with pure aggression and rage,thats not exclusive to either gender.

i just dont see why anyone is sad enough to stay in an abusive relationship. we have balls for a reason(no offense intended)

maybe they are in love -balls beat brains a lot of the time:D

Darlughda wrote: »

Fair enough CDfm, I thought this was going to be another tiresome gender war and getting away from the real issues like domestic violence.

Jeez Darlughda- I criticized others in a feedback thread and got it in the neck myself - a bit justified as I can rant. I think using words like

societal

should result in a site ban.

Yes I am rather unpopular because of how outspoken I am. I firmly believe in not letting gender wars get into the debate on domestic violence. You have no idea what I have been through in defending my position as a feminist who has experienced abuse against women who turn it into a gender issue and thus solidifying the victim role.

Any day now you will be reading Erin Pizzey

For what its worth, I'm learning a lot from this thread, and I have always taken it on board that it is hard for men to talk about this in terms of the violence as usually being perceived as perpetrated by women.

Less of the hard to talk. I think if we started a "nutters I have dated" thread we would get people coming forward. Fancy starting that?

Some may think it isnt sophisticated enough.

iptba · 27-02-2010 4:01am

Paulegend wrote: »

tiger woods cheated so fair enough:D just kidding. im sure we would all expect our other halves to respond the way his missus did.

(It is unclear what you are saying for definite so here's one response) I think if the genders were reversed (with the wife having affairs) and the police came along and (from what we can make out) Tiger had chased his wife out of the house, waving a golf club in a mad rage, smashing up car windows with the golf club, leading to some abrasions on the woman, I think he would have been in some trouble. Interesting how when the genders are reversed, attitudes are different.

Paulegend · 27-02-2010 4:03am

CokaColumbo wrote: »

What if you have kids with a female, abusive partner?

my arguement remains the same. as i said i believe the exact same if its a woman been abused.

why would you have kids with an abusive partner??

if a guy reports his partner for domestic violence then he does have the backing of the law. its just that men dont come forward.

i have sympathy for abuse victims.

i have no sympathy for people who stay in abusive relationships.

sure "walking out" on kids isnt easy(hense you shouldnt have kids with an abuser) but there are ways to insure its done right. dont give me excuses because i know for a fact that it can be done. i know a lad who was in an abusive(emotionally and physically) relationship. they had kids and when they went to leave their wife yes it was hard but they got through it with their kids and now they are in another relationship and very very happy

CDfm wrote: »

LOL - I know a woman hockey player and I met her out when the team were having a social.She was a really good friend until she moved away.

yea i think most women i date these days are tougher than me:D

but abuse is not something i would tolerate

CDfm wrote: »

Less of the hard to talk. I think if we started a "nutters I have dated" thread we would get people coming forward. Fancy starting that?

Some may think it isnt sophisticated enough.

yea i think emotions are high on this subject:) but still its handy to have this thread

Paulegend · 27-02-2010 4:05am

iptba wrote: »

(It is unclear what you are saying for definite so here's one response) I think if the genders were reversed (with the wife having affairs) and the police came along and (from what we can make out) Tiger had chased his wife out of the house, waving a golf club in a mad rage, smashing up car windows with the golf club, leading to some abrasions on the woman, I think he would have been in some trouble. Interesting how when the genders are reversed, attitudes are different.

actually thats a very very good point.

but i did say there is a differnce between men attacking women and women attacking men

woods did say that thats all rumours doh.

CDfm · 27-02-2010 5:56am

Paulegend wrote: »

but i did say there is a differnce between men attacking women and women attacking men

and that difference is what precisely

woods did say that thats all rumours doh

woods didnt follow it up with a criminal complaint

itsallaboutheL · 27-02-2010 10:54am

Lads,

I was wondering if some one could clarify for me what exactly is being discussed/argued here??

There seems to be 2 opposing sides but for the life of me i can't figure out what your respective stances on the matter are???

CDfm · 27-02-2010 11:16am

Paulegend wrote: »

my arguement remains the same. as i said i believe the exact same if its a woman been abused.

why would you have kids with an abusive partner??

if a guy reports his partner for domestic violence then he does have the backing of the law. its just that men dont come forward.

its not as simple as that resourse wise the law favours the mother so you do not have equal treatment and mortgages and bills have to be paid too.

sure "walking out" on kids isnt easy(hense you shouldnt have kids with an abuser) but there are ways to insure its done right. dont give me excuses because i know for a fact that it can be done. i know a lad who was in an abusive(emotionally and physically) relationship. they had kids and when they went to leave their wife yes it was hard but they got through it with their kids and now they are in another relationship and very very happy

She was the abuser and he had to do the leaving. Thats a bit rough isnt it.

itsallaboutheL wrote: »

Lads,

I was wondering if some one could clarify for me what exactly is being discussed/argued here??

There seems to be 2 opposing sides but for the life of me i can't figure out what your respective stances on the matter are???

Whats being discussed is women beating or abusing guys.

My opinion is that its not rare and not that complex an issue - you get nasty women in the same way that you get nasty guys.

These things are best discussed without victim lingo or machismo because we have all dated nutters at some stage and know its not as rare as some people like to pretend.

FracturedBeat · 27-02-2010 12:19pm

Paulegend wrote: »

women CANT do as much damage as guys can its simple logic. if a girl hits you JUST WALK AWAY. unless she is using a weapon there is no excuse.

i mean it the male race is getting sadder by the day. would SEan Connery let a girl beat him up???

Well done, that's a good message, if assaulted, walk away, let some dopey bitch off to do similar, or worse, to other people.

How about, if assaulted by a chick, take that bitch down, restrain, inform the police and have her done for assault?

That might make he a bit shy around the thought of assaulting someone in the future.

I mean, your a dude right, you could control her easy.

Paulegend · 27-02-2010 1:13pm

CDfm wrote: »

its not as simple as that resourse wise the law favours the mother so you do not have equal treatment and mortgages and bills have to be paid too.

i cant keep repeating this but yet again if your dating a nut case that seems aggressive and seems like a bully or a bitch then dump her ass. leave her. do not have kids with her do not get a mortgage with her do not pass go do not collect 200 pounds.................

you shouldnt get into a situation where you have to be with a girl the rest of your life that abuses you. doenst matter if you think youll end up alone.

you wont!!!!

CDfm wrote: »

She was the abuser and he had to do the leaving. Thats a bit rough isnt it.

why? at the end of the day if your in an abusive relationship you have to leave the abuser. why would the abuser leave you? they arent been abused.

abusers are bullies. they have the power.

CDfm wrote: »

Whats being discussed is women beating or abusing guys.

My opinion is that its not rare and not that complex an issue - you get nasty women in the same way that you get nasty guys.

my arguement is that if you are being abused by anyone you should get out of the relationship

CDfm wrote: »

we have all dated nutters at some stage and know its not as rare as some people like to pretend.

this is sooooo true:D

FracturedBeat wrote: »

Well done, that's a good message, if assaulted, walk away, let some dopey bitch off to do similar, or worse, to other people.

yes walk away. if i guy tries to hit you in the middle of the street your suppose to walk away........................ right???:rolleyes:

you just cant hit her back or youll be the "abuser" in the eyes of the world. its a sad fact

FracturedBeat wrote: »

How about, if assaulted by a chick, take that bitch down, restrain, inform the police and have her done for assault?

That might make he a bit shy around the thought of assaulting someone in the future.

I mean, your a dude right, you could control her easy.

problem is when the cops show up and see the woman restrained youll be locked up for assault:D ironic but true.

just walk away and then report her. you dont need to tie her up or it could lead to kinky stuff. then you have another kid and your stuck with her...................:) just needed to break the tension in here

Herbal Deity · 27-02-2010 3:06pm

Paulegand, you continue to repeat that a women hitting men is different to men hitting women.

Why?

You haven't offered any coherent explanation whatsoever.

The whole "men are stronger than women" argument is such an infuriating load of bollocks.

So what if the guy is statistically more likely to be able to injure the woman worse than she could injure him with no weapons involved?

What if the woman is strong and lifts weights and the man is skinny and out of shape?
What if the woman repeatedly attacks the man and he feels that, as a result of social conditioning, he can't fight back?
What if the woman has a weapon?

I just don't get the double standard. I see a man hitting a woman as no different to a woman hitting a man. I see a person assaulting another person. I don't understand why anyone would see it as any different.

CDfm · 27-02-2010 3:09pm

Paulegend wrote: »

i cant keep repeating this but yet again if your dating a nut case that seems aggressive and seems like a bully or a bitch then dump her ass. leave her. do not have kids with her do not get a mortgage with her do not pass go do not collect 200 pounds.................

Ah Cmon Mr Legend.

Guy dates girl and right she is a bit of a drama queen and the sex is good. Weyhey - he does the man thing and pays for everything and life is cool.

A few tantrums ..................... pre-marriage nerves

Kiddies -money worries so she belts him when she is drunk and gets her way so does it when she likes

ah poor sweet its just hormones post partum depression

just walk away and then report her. you dont need to tie her up or it could lead to kinky stuff. then you have another kid and your stuck with her...................:) just needed to break the tension in here

So single income guy with mortgage walks away and lives in a hostel for the homeless.,

Great solution there Mr Legend

goose2005 · 27-02-2010 3:22pm

Paulegend wrote: »

women CANT do as much damage as guys can its simple logic. .

Not really. Especially as most studies find women more likely to use weapons and more likely to make surprise attacks (assault when he's sleeping or has his back turned)

i mean it the male race is getting sadder by the day. would SEan Connery let a girl beat him up???

Your friend did, have you no sympathy for him?

i do sympatise but come on...............

of course there is inequality here. a guy punchs a girl he could seriously injure her for life. but a girl punches a guy.............. unless she is a heavyweight boxer i wouldnt exactly worry about long term injuries.

So it's OK to hit your partner so long as you don't do serious damage? It's mainly about controlling the other person, not injuring them.

Paulegend wrote: »

if a guy reports his partner for domestic violence then he does have the backing of the law. its just that men dont come forward.

Not really, I've heard of gardaí just saying, "why can't you sort it out yourself?

star-pants · 27-02-2010 3:42pm

Just a few things I've seen myself, when I worked on a door in a nightclub, you see people in their drunken states.
I do not recall a guy hit or shove a woman. Countless times I saw a women hitting / pushing a guy. There'd be rows yes, but only the women got violent.

Girl comes out the door with her phone, upset, guy(her bf) comes out after her, asks what's wrong, she f*cks the phone at him (missing him) and it smashes at the wall. He still tries to help and she's screaming at him, shoving him.

Another time, girl n guy are arguing, seems he walked past her on the dancefloor and didn't stop to dance with her, he genuinely didn't see her and thus was of the opinion it wasn't his fault, she kept screaming at him, shoved him and told him where to go. He's standing there going 'wtf' and she's hurling abuse at him. She storms back into the club, he shakes his head and after a minute goes in himself.

Another incident, guy n girl having a row, both yelling at each other, he's calling her names etc and storms off. Didn't push her, nothing. Yelled it was over and left. She's there crying, and her bfs male friend comes out, she starts yelling at him (cuz of his friend), he's not a clue, female friend comes out, joins the girl in yelling at the guy. Guy ends up leaving.

Ok so maybe it's just a shove, or just a smack - but it's still violence and should not be tolerated. A lot of people seem to think that those above situations are acceptable, IMO they're not. Just cuz she didn't give him a black eye doesn't mean he's not on the receiving end of violence/abuse.
As has been said, the violence can be different, if the woman is not stronger than the man she'll probably resort to a weapon, which can do more damage.
Different violence does not mean acceptable.

No man should hit a woman and no woman should hit a man. End of. Saying one is worse than the other is bullcrap. They're the same.
Individual situations, now they're what makes the difference.

iptba · 27-02-2010 4:18pm

Paulegend wrote: »

i cant keep repeating this but yet again if your dating a nut case that seems aggressive and seems like a bully or a bitch then dump her ass. leave her. do not have kids with her do not get a mortgage with her do not pass go do not collect 200 pounds.................

you shouldnt get into a situation where you have to be with a girl the rest of your life that abuses you. doenst matter if you think youll end up alone.

To give the example given earlier, that golfer's wife seemed very aggressive to me but you do not seem to be classing her as a nut case?

People can also be "on their best behaviour" in the initial period of a relationship. Then people can excuse behaviour if the person is drunk. Or upset. Or the person receiving the abuse feels they deserve it in some way (like Tiger Woods for example but in this case we're discussing before they got married).

Personally I wouldn't mind doing some sort of psychologically profiling to avoid people who might be violent but, across the dance floor, it's not so easy.

iptba · 27-02-2010 4:22pm

Paulegend wrote: »

problem is when the cops show up and see the woman restrained youll be locked up for assault:D ironic but true.

From what I've picked up this seems to have some truth to it. I'm not sure how much confidence many men would have in calling the cops.

iptba · 27-02-2010 4:29pm

I'm just wondering would a woman be more likely to slap a man across the face than another woman? I get the impression it might be the case. So it would suggest that she has learned she shouldn't do the latter (slapping a woman across the face) but it's not so bad to do the former (slap a man).

shellykbookey · 27-02-2010 4:33pm

iptba wrote: »

I'm afraid I can't remember the details but I recall that there were complaints in the media (by individuals or a group like Amen, rather than a full story in itself I think) about the training the gardai get about domestic violence, that it is all (or close to all) with the man as aggressor, woman as victim. Don't know if anybody has information on this from Ireland or other countries. It's one thing if people have informal views but institutional problems like this are not good.

My dad's been in the gardai for years and he said he's only ever seen two guys come in to report the wife/partner was violent against them and with one of the guys the officer on duity laughed at him and he left. There was nothing said to the guy on duity but if it had been a woman in about domestic abuse and they were laughed at there'd be war.

Boston · 27-02-2010 5:13pm

Paulegend wrote: »

women CANT do as much damage as guys can its simple logic. if a girl hits you JUST WALK AWAY. unless she is using a weapon there is no excuse.

I do mixed martial arts training with women and men. I'm 6foot 3inchs 120 Kgs. I'm mean, tough and all the rest. I've been held down by a 62 kg woman whose 5 foot nothing.

Take the example of the slaps you received. A lot of woman wear rings with cut stones in them. Something which is popular with limerick and dublin slags is to turn around the rings so that the stone is on the palm side and then swipe it accorss the face of unexpected males, such as door men and gardai. You let a woman like that strike you, well done mate you've just got yourself a scar for life maybe even loose an eye.

Then what are you going to do? Shell accuse you or rape if you reports her. Maybe you'll meet a nice garda officer who thinks like you do, that you're lying cause women are not danger to men.

Paulegend · 27-02-2010 5:34pm

okey dokey i just got in from a weekend class.

i think i might need to address a few things just to clear up my stance.............

Paulegend wrote: »

a guy punchs a girl he could seriously injure her for life. but a girl punches a guy.............. unless she is a heavyweight boxer i wouldnt exactly worry about long term injuries.

when i say unless she is a heavyweight boxer i do mean unless she trains to fight she aint going to injure you(unless she is ALOT bigger than you)

the only reason i say this is because i dont condon violence. if she hits you it doesnt mean you can hit her back. thats the only ONLY reason im saying this.

without training YES a guy can hurt a girl alot more than a girl can hurt a guy.

so Paulegend doesnt approve of men hitting women no matter what(just raised that way. maybe its wrong but its part of my morals that you NEVER hit a girl)

Paulegend also does not condone women hitting men no matter what

Paulegend wrote: »

well obviously if she is using a weapon then it doesnt matter who they are your in trouble and its not as easy to walk away.

ive mentioned this 3 or 4 times now so i would appreciate if people take note that if she has a weapon it doesnt matter if its a she or a he. your in trouble and run like hell.

so Paulegend does not like weapons..................:D

Paulegend wrote: »

but as for the whole what if she is the mother of your kids????????????

dont marry or stay with a PHSYCO.

simple as....................

if she is a crazy drunk take a hint....................

a women wont marry a crazy drunk if he is beating her i asure you of that.

there are the situations where its a matter of "maybe its my fault" but then it probably is your fault for not standing up for yourself. i mean come on we are all guys talking here. im sure if you had half as bad a school life as i did youd have some kind of balls.

a bully wont turn around mid beating to ask if you wanna break

Paulegend wrote: »

if you really are scared then im sorry i dont mean to offend you. here is a number you can contact
046 9023718 or http://www.amen.ie/

just had to put this in again because i dont wanna come across as an ass.

Paulegend wrote: »

men hitting women is ALOT differnet to women hitting men

Paulegend wrote: »

i accept that alot of couples women can be stronger but abuse is abuse........................

i cant make this any more clearer. as i said if your in an abusive relationship get out.

Paulegend wrote: »

men shouldnt hit women but women shouldnt hit men either. if they do then get out of the relationship. no way does she just turn around 5 or 6 years into the relationship and start swinging. no matter what you are going to say there would have been signs of aggresion whether its a guy or a girl.

Paulegend wrote: »

i know what you mean about the chick celebrating. in my opinion thats just her bad attitude and is the exact type of chick that would punch her guy. sickening that anyone is like that. never mind it being a women.

but it really isnt the same as a guy beating a girl. i refuse to accept that

there are people and mostly feminists out there that love to see this kind of behaviour. myself i find it gut wrenching. hate to see anyone say "kick his/her ass"

what sounds worse

kick his ass
or
kick her ass

maybe thats just more of society telling us whats right and wrong. all i know is growing up its rule one you are thought. never EVER raise your hand to a girl.

Paulegend wrote: »

yes but i think the same for women been beaten by men.............

if you are with a guy or a girl who is like that then stop being with them

there are always early signs ALWAYS

i wouldnt wish it on anyone but my thinking on an issue such as this is

you are an idiot if you stay in an abusive relationship.

sure its never as simple as because you have to .............. bla bla bla

if your significant other is beating you then get out of the relationship. if you stayed long enough to have kids you are again an idiot because heres a secret they never change.

i cant stress it enough.

i dont think of it as men beating women or women beating men. if you are being abused and dont get out then you are an idiot.

and to answer an above question yes i told my mate he was a coward and an idiot. if i didnt force him to man up and grow some balls he would still be with her. he is remarried now and very happy.

we are all scared of the "what if's"

but why dont you forget "what if" and think worry "what if i dont"

Paulegend wrote: »

if a guy reports his partner for domestic violence then he does have the backing of the law. its just that men dont come forward.

i have sympathy for abuse victims.

i have no sympathy for people who stay in abusive relationships.

if you report it to the Gardai something can be done. if you are laughed at take the gardas number and follow it up with his superiors. i have a relation in the gardai. there are laws to protect every victim.

Paulegend wrote: »

yea i think most women i date these days are tougher than me:D

but abuse is not something i would tolerate

i have no problem with tough women. i prefer girly girls myself but alot of women these days are tough. which is a good thing.

everyone should be morally tough and be able to stand up for what you believe in no matter how many argue against you

CDfm wrote: »

woods didnt follow it up with a criminal complaint

no he didnt thats why i said

Paulegend wrote: »

tiger woods cheated so fair enough:D just kidding. im sure we would all expect our other halves to respond the way his missus did.

all i mean here is you would expect your missus to get angry if you cheated. there was no confirmation that she ever attacked him and he denied it.

we all get angry and that IS HEALTHY. but aggresion is alot different to anger.
_____________________________________________________________

to sum it up no person should ever abuse another person. it doesnt matter if its with your hands, legs, a weapon or just words. they can all be harmful.

naturally(as in without training and only the norm taken into acount) men are stronger emotionally and physically. men are hardened not to get easily upset. we can take a punch and stand back up.

if a women takes a punch to the stomach she may never have kids!!!
if she takes it to the face she can be knocked unconcious.

so yes there is a HUGE HUGE difference in men hitting women and women hitting men.

im not saying either is right.

i also know that this is only the "norm" situation -- women naturally go for taller bigger guys than they are. men usually go for smaller women. of course this isnt always the case but if you want to regulate wieght and height divisions we would be here all day.

we all agree that women shouldnt hit men and men shouldnt hit women.

all im saying is that if you are been hit then leave them. simple as. anything said against that sentence is an excuse..................... mortgages, kids, houses, money, cars, etc, etc............... they are all excuses. if you value your life at all you will find a way to cope. if you dont wanna leave then you are simply seeking positive attention from strangers as you get no positive attention at home. you need help

046 9023718 or http://www.amen.ie/

Female on Male Violence

Comments