Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Temaz

Managed a few hours, woke up with a thumping headache.

Aoifums

Feeling utterly awful today. I can barely look at people, can't get the energy to talk to them, can't understand a word in lectures and can barely manage to type this out. Also second psychiatrist appointment tomorrow. Fun

Call Me Jimmy

Wake up every morning and feel like I'm starting all over again.

Temaz

Took a long shower to soothe myself and it worked, feeling much better.

Seren_

Aoifums wrote: »

Feeling utterly awful today. I can barely look at people, can't get the energy to talk to them, can't understand a word in lectures and can barely manage to type this out. Also second psychiatrist appointment tomorrow. Fun

Good luck for tomorrow!

Temaz wrote: »

Took a long shower to soothe myself and it worked, feeling much better.

There's actually nothing better than a nice shower when you're feeling like sh1t. I find it helps clear my mind, even just for a few minutes.

Spent the entire weekend and today in bed, when I should have been doing work I wish I wasn't so fond of self-sabotage. If I keep going like this, even for another day or two, I can kiss passing this year goodbye.

Call Me Jimmy

There's nothing harder then education when you're just not even in love with doing anything. I had to struggle through first semester and thankfully now I'm going out on work placement which is shcary but at least it's not learning off/stuff doing abstract things.

+1 on the shower, had one today out of boredom (self-inflicted boredom) and it just took me from a 1 to a 3 which doesn't sound great but when your struggling ye'll take that!

anonimous

really, really struggling with school work/motivation. and i'm such awful company i don't want to be around anyone at all.

cloud493

I smashed my mirror today silly thing to do really.

anonimous

cloud493 wrote: »

I smashed my mirror today silly thing to do really.

on purpose or by accident?

cloud493

On purpose.

anonimous

cloud493 wrote: »

On purpose.

i did that before, except it was a glass. it felt good in a very messed up way. like i was destroying something, almost.

cloud493

I coudn't bear to look at myself. So.

anonimous

cloud493 wrote: »

I coudn't bear to look at myself. So.

i know the feeling well.

Call Me Jimmy

Done the same meself before... avoiding em doesn't work, looking at em doesn't work. bastard things (including reflective surfaces).

cloud493

I only had the one, so its ok. Feels better now its gone. Probably shouldn't have done it with my fist though.

Gremlinertia

cloud493 wrote: »

I only had the one, so its ok. Feels better now its gone. Probably shouldn't have done it with my fist though.

Sod the mirror, hope you didn't do too much damage to your hand.

cloud493

Its ok. Hope your ok too.

degausserxo

Just went through papers for the Disabillity Access Route to college with the school resource teacher. Feel so bad because of how much this year has cost my parents, and I've only been able to go in 33% of the time.

Temaz

Having a good day today, went out for a bit and treated myself to some cd's.

Hope ya'll are getting through the day!

LegacyUser

anononon wrote: »

Hi all

Going anon for this as have a lot of mates on boards I don't want knowing about this.

I don't really know where to start. As s far as I was concerned I've always being a perfectly happy and healthy person. I'm 28, have a great girlfriend who I love dearly and great set of really close friends. Depression or anxiety never once entered my head. If I'm honest I was ignorant to it and its effect. Until last Sunday. Was in my living room with my gf and she was chatting away to me, just random talk, nothing important. Next thing I get this strange feeling. Unlike anything I've ever felt before. I turn to her and say "I don't feel well" and she looks at me and then looks worried and asks me am I gonna faint as I've just turned pale as a ghost instantly. I have no idea whats happening me. My heart starts to pound a million times a minute. My arms and legs get a numbing sensation in them. I feel like there's something wrong with my breathing, I cant get a full breath of air into my lungs. I also have a sensation that I'm about to swallow my tongue. I get up and start pacing up and down outside my house frantically. I fell I have to move. This might sound stupid but I am convinced I am having a heart attack or a stroke or something terrible. I am about to ask my gf to ring for an ambulance or a doctor but I don't.

I try to drink some water but I actually can't swallow it. My heart slowly starts to beat at a more regular pace so I sit down. One minute I'm shivering the next I'm sweating. My gf says to me that she reckons I've had a panic attack when I start explaining what was wrong with me. For the rest of the night and into the next day I cant stop fidgeting, I have to keep moving my hands or legs. I don't sleep for about 48 hours. Ever since then I literally haven't thought about anything other than what happened me. It was without a doubt the worst feeling I've ever had in my life by a mile.

I used to think that a panic attack was something that a person could simply
"snap out" of if you told them to cop on there's nothing wrong with you. How wrong I was. I've been so anxious and worried about what happened me last Sunday. It hasn't left my mind. I've barely slept. My gf says it probably happened because I've been burning the candle at both ends a bit too much lately. And its true I have been, but I am living in constant fear of having another attack. Which I know is probably the worst thing I can do. Has anyone any advice on how to proceed from here? Thanks for reading.

Sounds very much like a panic attack alright. I know what you mean about being in constant fear of another attack. If you do start feeling more anxious or have another attack, I would visit a GP and look to getting it sorted asap. You honestly cant believe how much I wish I dealt with this when it first happenned. By now, its almost unbearable and havent found any way of fixing it. Have a feeling if i had nipped it on the bud early I would be over it by now.

Seren_

That's great Temaz!

I'm doing okay today as well. Had a rehearsal session for the parade earlier which was fun (I'm helping out on a float on Saturday). And I'm actually doing some work too for a change. I just need to sort out getting up at a reasonable time, because that's one thing that has been holding me back recently.

How's everyone today?

Call Me Jimmy

Great to hear you guys are having some good patches.

Myself, I feel weird. Feel like I'm occupying a space between capitulation and freedom which is disconcerting as it's kinda like a hot-cold feeling, where you don't know if you're so hot that you're cold or so cold that you're hot...

nesf

Doing a bit better I think. Psychiatrist on Thursday, we'll see how that goes.

degausserxo

Day has gotten progressively worse. Doctor wouldn't print my prescription even though the one they gave me last week was just to get money refunded from the pharmacy and not for me to take. I'm just so fed up.

jammstarr

I can't seem to be handle even the smallest amount of stress with blowing it all out of proportion.

stupidusername

my fourth appointment with my therapist (supposed to be CBT) and I really don't think i'm getting anything from it. What's CBT meant to be like? i'm just talking away about whatever, and she's asking typical therapist things like what do you fear is going to happen bla bla bla. i'm not getting anywhere!

Sardonicat

Feel awful. Lethargic and empty and just...blank.

My GP told me last week I could increase me own dose if I wish if I'm feeling down. Maybe I should do that.

S.Username, sorry your long awaited therapy doesn't seem to be working out. Have you thought about raising your concerns with the therapist?

stupidusername

Sardonicat wrote: »

Feel awful. Lethargic and empty and just...blank.

My GP told me last week I could increase me own dose if I wish if I'm feeling down. Maybe I should do that.

S.Username, sorry your long awaited therapy doesn't seem to be working out. Have you thought about raising your concerns with the therapist?

I have thought about it, but one of my issues is confrontation, or raising problems with people. ironic or what. i might say something next week. just say talking things through isn't doing much, i need a more pro active approach.

Sardonicat

stupidusername wrote: »

I have thought about it, but one of my issues is confrontation, or raising problems with people. ironic or what. i might say something next week. just say talking things through isn't doing much, i need a more pro active approach.

That sounds like a really good way of phrasing it, actually. You should go that route, no confrontation there.

I've decided to pop another prozac. Hopefully it won't keep me awake all night. My depression is unusual in that my moods get worse as the day wears on, whereas for most people it's the other way around.

stupidusername

Sardonicat wrote: »

That sounds like a really good way of phrasing it, actually. You should go that route, no confrontation there.

I've decided to pop another prozac. Hopefully it won't keep me awake all night. My depression is unusual in that my moods get worse as the day wears on, whereas for most people it's the other way around.

thing is i've said all this already. i don't have the money to keep paying for her to listen to me go on. i mean that's what i do in my head, and with my friends. i need help resolving stuff.

i hope you can sleep. i'm the same as you tbh. my mood is nearly always ok in the morning, but at night it's more likely to be worse.