Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Captain Graphite

flyswatter wrote: »

But surely the fact that you're in China now teaching would mean that you definitely aren't wasting your time and screwing up. That would strike me as the opposite, very proactive in fact.

Yeah, it's proactive I guess. But it doesn't stop me feeling like a worthless, useless screw-up that people pretend to like for a while but turn their backs on eventually.

Temaz

This sums up things for me at the moment! Beautiful lyrics that hit the nail on the head.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nF6LX8U5avU

You know that feeling you get, you feel you're older than time
You ain't exactly sure if you've been away a while

Do you keep the reciepts for the friends that you buy?
And ain't it bittersweet you were only just getting by

But I hope you know that it won't let go
It sticks around with you until the day you die
And I hope you know that it's touch and go
I hope the tears don't stain the world that waits outside
Where did it all go wrong?

And until you've repaid the dreams you've bought for your lies
You'll be cast away alone under stormy skies
Alone under stormy skies

But I hope you know that it won't let go
It sticks around with you until the day you die
And I hope you know that it's touch and go
I hope the tears don't stain the world that waits outside
Where did it all go wrong?

But I hope you know that it won't let go
It sticks around with you until the day you die
And I hope you know that it's touch and go
I hope the tears don't stain the world that waits outside

But I hope you know that it won't let go
It sticks around with you until the day you die
And I hope you know that it's touch and go
I hope the tears don't stain the world that waits outside
Where did it all go wrong?

Call Me Jimmy

Struggling I'll probably go out tonight because if I don't I'll have nothing for a couple of days/maybe a week. There's just so much pressure on appearances though. Reading a thread in the ladies lounge about hot ex's who've gone downhill and it's very hard not to think unless you're extremely good looking you don't have a chance in this world. Unless you're happy with your own company... ah just needed to write something out

LegacyUser

Another day of celebrations and mingling with people all part of development, I have myself cut off from the world outside of my home.

Despite how much I know I am doing myself any favour whatsoever being this introverted I can't snap out of it.

Is there anyone here that feels imprisioned in their mind today???

Gremlinertia

Call Me Jimmy, you said that better than i've tried to before, i worked today, i'm getting more afraid of meeting people. My flaws and failures are now written more on my face. I'm trying to change my approach but finding the support part both difficult and hard to come by.

Call Me Jimmy

Ah it's just tough, I dunno what's wrong with me anymore, I repel people now but when I was younger it just came naturally... seriously low

Call Me Jimmy

downer cow wrote: »

Another day of celebrations and mingling with people all part of development, I have myself cut off from the world outside of my home.

Despite how much I know I am doing myself any favour whatsoever being this introverted I can't snap out of it.

Is there anyone here that feels imprisioned in their mind today???

Yea mate, I coulda written that. Feel the exact same, you're not on your own there!

talullah

Really seriously concidered ending it all yesterday, i didn't go through with it obviously...what kept me from it was my pets, if I was gone, they'd have no one and it wouldn't be their fault, don't think I could abandon them like that no matter how bad I get. Sometimes it feels like there's no other choice though. just have to try my damndest to hold on.

Call Me Jimmy

I always feel odd 'thanking' a post like that but I'm glad you didn't do anything. My cousin says his dog got him through the worst year or two of his life, he knew he had to bring him for walks and look after him even when he had no motivation to do anything for himself and things just happened to turn out well after a while, he's getting married and has a kid now.

Let time pass and great things can happen.

stupidusername

First thoughts of self harm tonight. Weird

jammstarr

stupidusername wrote: »

First thoughts of self harm tonight. Weird

Have you ever gotten the urge or actually self harmed before?

belhaven fan

stupidusername wrote: »

First thoughts of self harm tonight. Weird

I would strongly urge you not to do anything like this. I know from my own experiences that its a slippery slope.

I had ideas about harming myself for ages before I finally did it. I hate to say it but i felt really relaxed after I did it. your body/mind quickly grows accustomed to it and you start to need more and more just to feel 'Normal.'

To me hurting myself just works like xanax, it works for the short term but you end up needing more and more and its less effective in the long term.

Also if you leave marks/scars it makes you massively paranoid that people will notice, which helps nothing.

cloud493

I did something quite silly. Again and I'm ashamed.

stupidusername

jammstarr wrote: »

Have you ever gotten the urge or actually self harmed before?

I've gotten the urge to use a knife before but that was with the intention of killing myself.never got the urge to do it just to do it.

cloud493

stupidusername wrote: »

I've gotten the urge to use a knife before but that was with the intention of killing myself.never got the urge to do it just to do it.

If I were you, I would avoid that paticular avenue. Avoid it like the ****ing plague. Its not a good place to be.

Gremlinertia

cloud493 wrote: »

If I were you, I would avoid that paticular avenue. Avoid it like the ****ing plague. Its not a good place to be.

Agreed, it's like another crutch, have to do more harm each time for less moments of relaxation, it's a trap, and it's hard get out. Also Cloud i hope you're ok.

Temaz

Dipped into my savings and bought a new hi-def 32inch tv for my room. Feeling quite good today!

Keep the heads up people!

starviewadams

I was out in town with 'friends' last night for a few drinks for the first time in ages,and after they had all gone off to Lillies or somewhere (I hate nightclubs so I refuse to go to them) I was left on my own at a table near the bar to finish my pints.

Looking around the room at all the happy,sleazy idiots with their lovely looking girlfriends,and overhearing their idiotic insincere conversations made me feel quite pathetic and fairly envious.I would much rather be one of them,and be able to breeze through life with ease then be me,a person with zero confidence who overthinks everything to the point of ridiculousness.

I just don't think that I'm cut out for this world,and I'm really geting tired of my lonely existence in it.Something is going to give sooner or later I think.

Rant over,sorry!

thrilledskinny

stupidusername wrote: »

First thoughts of self harm tonight. Weird

Hi StupidUserName,

I had been going to post for a while, that I was worried that all the talk of self harm recently on this thread might actually encourage others to try it.

I didnt like to post this opinion as i know people need to talk about things.

We should all be aware not to promote any 'unwell' activity whether it be self harming, starving oneself, binging, drinking to excess etc, by making them sound gratifying.

I'm sure and we all know none of these activities are truely gratifing and are not the answer.

We should promote and speak of safe activities to vent our emotions like exercise or relaxation.

Anyway I dont want to offend anyone, but I wouldnt like to see anyone on here adding to their problems by trying something unhelpful that they would not have thought of with out suggestion.

I hope this makes sense, Take care...

btw I always appriciate your posts StupidUserName.

thrilledskinny

starviewadams wrote: »

I was out in town with 'friends' last night for a few drinks for the first time in ages,and after they had all gone off to Lillies or somewhere (I hate nightclubs so I refuse to go to them) I was left on my own at a table near the bar to finish my pints.

Looking around the room at all the happy,sleazy idiots with their lovely looking girlfriends,and overhearing their idiotic insincere conversations made me feel quite pathetic and fairly envious.I would much rather be one of them,and be able to breeze through life with ease then be me,a person with zero confidence who overthinks everything to the point of ridiculousness.

I just don't think that I'm cut out for this world,and I'm really geting tired of my lonely existence in it.Something is going to give sooner or later I think.

Rant over,sorry!

Try not to worry Starviewwilliams, easier said than done I know, but we all feel like this at times, sometimes more so and more often than other times.
Something wont give unless you give in, and dont give in because there are plenty of other out there like you, and you'll feel differently tomorrow.

Mind yourself, and try and push such thoughts from your mind, thats what i do, of course a drink doesnt help, it can only make us more depressed at times.....
Hope your feeling better by now ;-)

jammstarr

starviewadams wrote: »

I just don't think that I'm cut out for this world,and I'm really geting tired of my lonely existence in it.Something is going to give sooner or later I think.

I'm in a terrible funk the last few weeks (even more than usual) and I feel exactly like you're saying there.

FanadMan

stupidusername wrote: »

First thoughts of self harm tonight. Weird

If you can, don't go there. I'm covered with horrible scars - both body and mind from years of self harm. Oh yeah, it felt great the first few times but like any addiction it got to the stage where I had to cut all the time to keep my head together

But meds and councelling helped sort it out. And only on low dosage of meds now too so there is a light at the end of that very long and dark tunnel.

One wee thing that helped me was I wore one of those rubber charity wristbands and every time I got a thought of self harming, I'd snap it against my wrist. Small sting but enough to give me wee mental kick up the arse heehee.

If you can hold it together, the thoughts do pass. And if you can't, go to a doc/friend/pet/friendly alien and talk to them.

Take care x

Captain Graphite

stupidusername wrote: »

First thoughts of self harm tonight. Weird

stupidusername wrote: »

I've gotten the urge to use a knife before but that was with the intention of killing myself.never got the urge to do it just to do it.

I know how you feel.

I've thought about it so many times and even made an attempt one night but "chickened out" as soon as the scissors touched my skin. I mentally tortured myself for being a "coward who can't even harm himself properly" for a while afterwards.

I'm not sure if I'd ever try again. Maybe if things got really bad and my mind really wasn't thinking clearly. I remember feeling like I needed some sort of physical scar to prove that I wasn't ok. It was as if I thought I couldn't be legitimately depressed unless I hurt myself physically. I still feel like that sometimes but it helps for me to think of a few other people in my life who self-harmed and how much concern I felt for them and how much I wished they'd never do it again. Those feelings usually kill any urge for me to go down that route myself.

Temaz

I have withdrawn totally from going out, not spoken to my drinking buddies in months and feeling all the better for it. I miss the company and fun chat but booze sends me on a downward spiral to depression.

FanadMan

Temaz wrote: »

I have withdrawn totally from going out, not spoken to my drinking buddies in months and feeling all the better for it. I miss the company and fun chat but booze sends me on a downward spiral to depression.

When I was getting treatment I was told by the psych nurse in charge that I should go out. He basically said "Go out, have your couple of pints but just don't go mad on it. Locking yourself away only causes more problems" Best thing was ever told - I had basically become a hermit which made me even more depressed and the more depressed I became, the less I wanted to go out. But that nurse and a few that worked with him arranged a day and a night out for the patients in the day hospital I was attending - it was one of the best nights I ever had - even got up and sang on stage :eek:

jammstarr

FanadMan wrote: »

When I was getting treatment I was told by the psych nurse in charge that I should go out. He basically said "Go out, have your couple of pints but just don't go mad on it. Locking yourself away only causes more problems" Best thing was ever told - I had basically become a hermit which made me even more depressed and the more depressed I became, the less I wanted to go out. But that nurse and a few that worked with him arranged a day and a night out for the patients in the day hospital I was attending - it was one of the best nights I ever had - even got up and sang on stage :eek:

Great to hear that you were able to break free

flyswatter

FanadMan wrote: »

Temaz wrote: »

I have withdrawn totally from going out, not spoken to my drinking buddies in months and feeling all the better for it. I miss the company and fun chat but booze sends me on a downward spiral to depression.

When I was getting treatment I was told by the psych nurse in charge that I should go out. He basically said "Go out, have your couple of pints but just don't go mad on it. Locking yourself away only causes more problems" Best thing was ever told - I had basically become a hermit which made me even more depressed and the more depressed I became, the less I wanted to go out. But that nurse and a few that worked with him arranged a day and a night out for the patients in the day hospital I was attending - it was one of the best nights I ever had - even got up and sang on stage :eek:

Nail on the head.

Seren_

Had dangerous thoughts for the first time in a while today, it was weird. Nothing happened to bring them on, I was just on the train =/

Hope everyone is doing okay x

jammstarr

Your Text Here wrote: »

Had dangerous thoughts for the first time in a while today, it was weird. Nothing happened to bring them on, I was just on the train =/

Hope everyone is doing okay x

I don't mean to sound nosey but what kind of thoughts entered your head? Could you clear them from your head then?

The reason I ask is just in case myself and others ever get similar thoughts what you were able to do might help.

Hope you're ok now

angeline

Anyone here have experience with Cymbalta? My psych is thinking of changing me from Effexor to Cymbalta. Would appreciate any info.