Should i??????????

tony 2 tone

Tom65 wrote: »

Is it wrong that this thread has actually made me want a monkey?

No, it is not wrong. It's great as it has made us all want monkeys. And in some cases wallabys. And to make us search for that special monkey (or wallaby)

Capt'n Midnight

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_F74vJj-Clzk/R-FmzjocSBI/AAAAAAAACLA/tkAMGDYHKHA/s400/fling_poo_stand_clear_thumb.jpg

conchubhar1

''should i stay or should i go''

was i the only one who immediatly though and sang that?

dlofnep

conchubhar1 wrote: »

''should i stay or should i go''

was i the only one who immediatly though and sang that?

lol - was just thinking the same thing.

conchubhar1

dlofnep wrote: »

lol - was just thinking the same thing.

high 5? (borat voice)

Tirabaralla

Gotta love this thread, can't wait to know more ^_^

dlofnep

conchubhar1 wrote: »

high 5? (borat voice)

^5 !!

conchubhar1

dlofnep wrote: »

^5 !!

sound (im gonna leave cos i havent a notion wtf this thread is about-and couldnt be arsed to find out either)

junior_apollo

Tirabaralla wrote: »

Gotta love this thread, can't wait to know more ^_^

Im off work since wednesday so im not able to check if Timm-ah replied to me yet.. it'll be monday before i can update anymore.. apologies...

Super-Rush

Hello
Thank you for your patience but i am sure you can understand that this would be a big commitment on my part to take Hanna. I was wondering if you had any more pictures of her. The earliest i can get to England is the 19th of July. I really would like to see her in her home environment before i decide to take her.
Kindest Regards

Hello
right now i really don't have any thing to do because i will be traveling very soon so if it will take you that long to come,then why don't you arrange for the adoption papers so that i will be sending her to you.That is all i can do but if you don't like that and you cannot come and see her ,then there is nothing i can do for that because before you comes i will already have traveled.

Looks like the fun is over. I still want a monkey though.

dr.bollocko

super-rush wrote: »

Looks like the fun is over. I still want a monkey though.

Nah. Come back to him in a few weeks. Nobody's shifting prime monkey in a recession.

awhir

can u acctualy get pet monkeys ?

Iwasfrozen

If he grows up to be this monkey, then yes.

http://icanhascheezburger.files.word...pg?w=422&h=495

First time I actually lol'd at something on the Internet.

junior_apollo

Hey Everyone... Im back in work today... and im glad to say Timm-ah has replied to me since my absense on Wednesday... twice!... ill quote his replies when i get a chance shortly and follow it up with my reply also...

let the weeks fun begin!...:D

junior_apollo

Tim's reply to my request for info mail above:

Dear friend
Thanks for getting back to me i earlier told you that i will be traveling soon ,yesterday i relocated to the USA with Hana.but i will still ship her to you because i think you are a very kind person.for her birth certificate i will scanned it and send soon because right now am very busy putting things together.and for her blood groups she has the Rhesus blood system.she likes to watch cartoons and sports. and for her cloths types you can buy her any cloths for monks but she likes the yellow color and since you said a small plane or helicopter can land at your home,then i will need your home address so that she might be delivered right at your home.
For my advise ,when you have nothing ,they will talks and if you have they will gossip jealously ,so keep on when they talk they instead adds your blessing.greet your Family tell them they will like the monkey
Waiting for your reply.

Since i was on holidays Tim decided he would send me a reminder mail:

Hello sir
since then i have been waiting for your reply ,but still yet no responds,i will like to know if you are still interested in the monkey ,if not then let me know .as i told you i am very busy right now in the USA and i will like to give her out fast because my job takes a lot of my time.
Waiting to read from you
Thanks

Haha.. i loved his "words of wisdom" for my family.. can anyone translate them for me though?

The_Minister

It looks adorable.

Thatis all.

junior_apollo

Ok.. following catching up on emails in work I decided to get back to Timm-ah before he lost interest.... the following is my reply:

Hi again Tim,

Again thank you for your kind greeting, I believe we are becoming better friends.
It is unfortunate that you have moved to the USA as it would have been nice to meet you, friends with benefits are hard to come by, Im sure you'll agree?

I must first apologise for my absense the last few days.. I was on holidays from work on Thursday last and decided to do a spot of parachuting.
Now as you are well aware this carries with it its own hazards.. but this was not enough for my mate...
Basically to cut a long story short.. myself and my only friend Diarmuid were cruising at 20,000 ft and had everything ready for the jump, I proceded to position myself at the door of the plane and steady myself before the jump.
Diarmuid (who is no longer my friend by the way following this incident) decided that it would be funny to puch me out the door while pulling my 'chute cord at the same time...
Now needless to say this brought on instant panic on my part.. but not as much panic as when the 'chute cord entangled itself in the propellor shaft of the plane!...

I instantly cut loose my main chute but only to be hurtled a further 123.57 feet into the air and to say I was disorientated would be an understatement. Nevertheless I managed to get my secondary 'chute open and land without trouble on the estate... Diarmuid landed 2-3 minutes behind me. I immediately had the estate security remove him from my property and I have since had his credit cards cancelled and had him removed from his job for fraud and harrassment of the ladies claims.
This will show you that although I am a nice person, I do not deal lightly with dangerous and hazardous pranks. Pranks which could have resulted in someone being severly paper-cut needing a plaster, or even worse.. a black eye.
As we say in this country.. it is all fun and games until someone gets launched into the air by an airplane propellor...

I decided to take a few days rest following the incident and this is the reason for my absence and lack of reply until now. Please forgive me and know that I am still very interested in Hana and her well being.

Now, back to the business at hand... Hana.
Thats good news that you will soon send me Hana's birth certificate and I have consulted a few monkey experts who I bumped into while playing golf. They have ensured me that her blood type is very common among monkeys and that if she has full health certs (which you sent me previously) then there should be no problem if she ever needs a transplant. They also assured me that religion is not an issue for monkeys, we had quite a chuckle about that one when I thought about it more... could you imagine a monkey dressed like a Rabbi?... that would be quite funny indeed...
I am glad that Hana enjoys television, we have a cinema room at the property which I believe she will really enjoy, we also have a quite large collection of cartoons and other viewing material which she may enjoy.

You words of wisdom are very intriguing.. I spent much time reading them, considering them, reading them again, considering them again, and then reading them and cosidering them some more... they are very profound and wise beyond my years indeed.

For delivery of Hana it would be necessary to use my own private plane if that it is your choice, rather than shipping her to me via air-mail or passenger plane...
The reason for this is that my estate is currently a no-fly zone for all aircraft following the attacks on America commonly referred to as 9/11.
We became very aware that terrorists may seize any oppurtunity to partake in terror type activities, terrorism if you like...
We therefore instructed the EU goverment that there is a 10Km no-fly zone surrounding our estate, except for my own aircraft.

Our address is as follows:

Steven's Estate,
Faketown,
Ireland SouthEast
Eire,
Ireland,
Europe

You can find more infromation on our vibrant community here:
http://www.clear-soft.com/clear-site/samples/v1.1/Community/Default.asp

Would it be possible to get your address in the USA? That way we can discuss a form of transport for Hana, of which I have some ideas, and also so that we can arrange payment for the transfer of documentation.

I look forward to your reply and to Hana's birthcert and hopefully we can start the transaction quickly,
Kind regards,
Your friend Steve

Now hopefully Tim will enjoy my little town's website and we can get back on track with my acquisition of his monkey... :cool:

junior_apollo

Tim's Response to my awful parachuting experience:
Please also note that Tim has found how to put a template on his email background.. this one was accompanied by a nice blue blackground with clouds...

Thanks very much for getting back to me and also thanks for the interest you are showing to adopt Hanna.I got all what happened in the mail you sent to me and i wish i was there with you to experience all that but as you can see i don't have that opportunity but i believe it will happened someday.Greet every body in your family on my behalf. Tell them that the new member of their family(Hanna) will soon come to meet them.No matter adopting Hanna we will still be very good friends because hannah has brought us together and i am very happy.This has also increase the love i had for hannah and each time sees her think about you and all the mails you have been sending.I always reflects on your mail and each time that is done i feel very happy and comfortable with everything you said.
As for getting hannah over to you,i really wish that you should come with your private plane and take her yourself so that i can also see you and the person that i am dealing with.But there is a problem because the U.S.government would not allow private planes to come into the U.S because of the war that they had.The word between U.S and Iraq so that had made the U.S government to be very strict and they have security everywhere both on land,air and water.But a plane can move out of the country without any problem.So please i prefer that we should use the Dublin City Airport because it is closer to your location and when Hannah arrive you will have to go there and pick her up.So there is nothing to worry about OK.I promise you that you will receive Hannah and she will love you because are also a very loving person.So if that is ok by you then get back to me so that i can give you the information which you will be using in getting the money for the adoption papers Hannah over to me so that i can make all the papers and take her to the airport book a flight for her then get back to you with all the flight information so that you will know the time she will be leaving and the time she will be arriving at your location.Please also get back to me with your contact phone number so that i can call you to really know the person i am dealing with.I will be very happy to talk to you on the phone.
Have a nice time.
Tim

Im starting to get bored with Tim now.. I think he is avoiding my requests far to often.. I shall have to crank it up a notch...

junior_apollo

My reply, please note that this was in an email so I could attach the first document as though it was inline with the text, the second attachment you might all recognise as Tim's document which i doctored somewhat... lets see if he notices...:

Hi again Tim,

Today has been a very productive day for me and my plans to acquire Hana.
Here are the details of everything that happened...

I got in touch with the US Air Force and requested permission to fly in and collect Hana.
This request was refused on the basis that private planes are not allowed access to the air-space.
I was a little disappointed by this but I understand the reasons for this completely.

As I result I had to try and find alternative means of shipping Hana at low cost.
My aquantance Peter and I came up with a fool-proof plan to get Hana here and provide you with your payment at the same time.
We have invested in a number of up and coming technologies lately and the one we are considering deploying is the carrier pigeon.
These pigeons have been trained at some of Irelands finest colleges and they have an amazing ability to learn geography and cartography.

We have tested this out today by send some money to Peter's uncle who is located in Nantes, on the west coast of France.
He received the money and sent us a note in reply via the pigeon and everything worked perfectly.

We then went and met with a lecturer from UCD (University College Dublin) where they have some people who are good at the adding and taking away and all that kinda thing.
We have come up with the following equation:

<Here i inserted the Equation.jpg so that it was inline with the text - please see the attached document>

Now as you can obviously see if H is the weight of Hana (we took this figure from wikipedia where we found lots of useful information), and Z - P are the variables like her food intake on the morning of the flight and her poopage throughout the flight, then ergo and so forth we can summize that:
K = the number of pigeons needed to transport Hana safely to Ireland in one flight...
Now V is the velocity at which these pigeons would need to maintain and this squared divided by 2g which is the universal symbol for the gravity experienced at the altitude the pigeons would need to maintain,
will result in a safe transfer of Hana.

We then contacted the US Airforce again and they have confirmed that this method of transport is indeed allowed, I have attached their approval letter to me.

<I attached the aviationConfrimation.jpg here>

So if you provide me with your address, I will gladly write you a cheque today for the full amount of the transfer of documentation and then we can get the ball rolling.
Again, if you could send on Hana's birt cert when you get a chance that would be great also,

Thanks again,
Your friend,
Steve

BeatNikDub

Junior Apollo you are a legend!
Best thread on boards EVER

BeatNikDub

Junior Apollo - are you Robin Cooper?

junior_apollo

BeatNikDub wrote: »

Junior Apollo - are you Robin Cooper?

Unfortunately not.. but perhaps I could compile all this when I am finished into a book and make as much money as Robin... *rubs hands together gleefully*

Super-Rush

right i emailed him back telling him i can come over this weekend to see the monkey. It will be interesting to see what he says after telling you he is now in the states.

junior_apollo

super-rush wrote: »

right i emailed him back telling him i can come over this weekend to see the monkey. It will be interesting to see what he says after telling you he is now in the states.

Good thinking Super-Rush... I like it...

hahaha... my day was so unproductive... haha

RHunce

do it!!

BeatNikDub

junior_apollo wrote: »

Unfortunately not.. but perhaps I could compile all this when I am finished into a book and make as much money as Robin... *rubs hands together gleefully*

#

You really really should.

I would purchase. Indeed.

Marko_Man

Get it now

Super-Rush

I showed the pic of Hanna to a couple of female friends of mine and they demanded i get the monkey and offered to babysit when i was at work. I'd bring her to gigs with me...that would be funny as fcuk.

Tirabaralla

OMG....
lol
this thread is becoming more and more...interesting?

I was thinking...what if the poor chap is a honest monkey seller? :rolleyes:

CianRyan

This is unreal, just insane.
If this guy turns out to be legit, definitely get the monkey, via carrier pigeon of course.

Both of you, legends.

PLUS
Is faketown real?