Funny Junkie Stories

Professey Chin

dirtyrunner wrote: »

Right, let me get this right,

It's okay to laugh and joke about children who get kidnapped and probably murdered,

but if a few people post a few funny stories about junkies, they're considered evil and wrong

You have a better idea

brendansmith

steo87 wrote: »

Boo fúckin hoo

I have to agree there, what a load of sh!te

ginoginelli

seanybiker wrote: »

few of the lads took ketamine at a session i was at. One of them was grand the other fella was hugging me telling me he could see the light. He felt bad he didnt know me that well and was saying goodbye before he died. Stuff looks bloody scary to be on.

lol Not quite a junkie. Sounds more like an ncad student on a friday night!

tallaght01

xzanti wrote: »

Think I posted this in another thread a couple of years ago but anyway...

My cousins husband is a male nurse in the Mater A&E.. One day they had a guy in, close to death having OD'd on heroin.. Anyway they managed to bring him round by pumping out his system.. Anyway he wakes up and instead of counting his lucky stars he was saved or thanking the nurses he proceeds to protest that they were "wreckin his buzz" rips the tubes out of his arms and p1sses off into the sunset :rolleyes:

Happened to me too. The guy complained he'd had to rob a DVD player to pay for that buzz :P

He was PISSED with me!!!

taibhse

meboloxitis wrote: »

Hey Guys,
I responded to a post I seen earlier & it started me thinking about all the really funny stories I have from when I was working in a convenience store! It was in a particular bad area but the laugh we used to have!

One of my personal favourites was dealing with all the junkies! One of my fav stories....
I remember one evening 2 brass munkies came in mad outa it! They were goofing off sitting on the newspapers and we had to ask them to move on.... The women is shoplifting in slow motion, putting bags of sweets into her pockets... I'm in stitches laughing!! Anyways the bloke sees me laughing and gets all agro bout me laughing. he says to me ~ "ya packie bastard ya, go back to your own country" now that's probably not that funny but I'm as dub as they come. I have a bit of a tan & had'nt shaved in a few days! Well that was it, me & the kawasaki's I worked with were on the floor, tears running down my face! We had some craic bout that one!
He put his tail between his legs & hit the road off on another adventure no doubt! gotta love them brass munkies!

Any good stories, please share...

Really?

jiltloop

kickoutthejams wrote: »

In all my time around EUrope, I have never, ever, seen a junkie outside of Dublin.

I recommend a visit to Amsterdam. Plenty of junkies around that city (although quite a few of them are Dubs!).

minidazzler

tallaght01 wrote: »

Happened to me too. The guy complained he'd had to rob a DVD player to pay for that buzz :P

He was PISSED with me!!!

Your a right mean bollix, he had to go to all that trouble, poor him, I hope you at least paid for his next score?

brendansmith

Junkie walks into a bar and orders a pint, he looks beside him and sees a horse "why the long face" says the junkie to which the horse replies "must be a lonely life you live, you have dug a hole for yourself and its gonna take a very strong person to get out of it, which i dont think you are"

discobeaker

Was heading to college one day on the bus,78a. I sat at the front,upstairs and 2 junkies were sitting down the back...just the 3 of us on the top deck!

Anyway,1 guys asks the other about some "bird" and the second guy tells him about how he was "riding her the other night". The first guys asks about what she was like and the second guy replies "i didn't have a rubber so i just took her up the arse".

At least they are worried about unplanned accidents!

Also see some junkie woman taking a S*it in the Italian quarters off Jervis street. She just dropped trousers and went for it with everyone out eating and drinking coffee. I felt guilty that i didn't give her something to read.

Jazzy

julep wrote: »

No.

If you have a problem with that, take it to the help desk.

a little sensitive arent we? he was only asking a question. no need for the threatening attitude.


when working in IMC cinema in dun laoighre i once had to break open a toilet door to find a junkie passed out having shat herself

Terry

Jazzy wrote: »

a little sensitive arent we? he was only asking a question. no need for the threatening attitude.


when working in IMC cinema in dun laoighre i once had to break open a toilet door to find a junkie passed out having shat herself

Once again, take any problems with my moderating to the help desk or feedback.

Lockstep

jiltloop wrote: »

I recommend a visit to Amsterdam. Plenty of junkies around that city (although quite a few of them are Dubs!).

FUnnily enough, I saw none there.

Plenty of stoned hippies but didn't see any overt smackheads.

Br4tPr1nc3

i wouldnt say people are laughing because they are on heroin.

i think its more laughter because of the stupid actions they pull off.
more because the junkies are moronic, especially in behaviour.

dr.bollocko

dirtyrunner wrote: »

Right, let me get this right,

It's okay to laugh and joke about children who get kidnapped and probably murdered,

but if a few people post a few funny stories about junkies, they're considered evil and wrong

I think you took me up wrong mate. I was trying to do the ironing with Mr. Snyper rather than indicating I found the plight of Maddie funny. Not trying to indicate any double standards. I never said I thought people who found stories funny were somehow evil and wrong. Not a lot of fun to be had in this thread's stories though. Wasn't trying to pontificate chum just being the creepy dude sharing too much.

brendansmith wrote: »

steo87 wrote: »

Boo fúckin hoo

I have to agree there, what a load of sh!te

Fine. Lesson learneded. Will endeavour to keep the lyrical unwaxed in future in AH.

kickoutthejams wrote: »

FUnnily enough, I saw none there.

Plenty of stoned hippies but didn't see any overt smackheads.

There are a fair few in the Dam alright. Beautiful city tho, same goes for Prague. Apparently they have a problem there too. Encountered a few myself though I have been in Prague a fair few times.
Its the meth addicts that freak the hell out of me. Those guys have the capacity for the mental nearly every day.

madmik

dr.bollocko wrote: »

I think you took me up wrong mate. I was trying to do the ironing with Mr. Snyper rather than indicating I found the plight of Maddie funny. Not trying to indicate any double standards. I never said I thought people who found stories funny were somehow evil and wrong. Not a lot of fun to be had in this thread's stories though. Wasn't trying to pontificate chum just being the creepy dude sharing too much.





Fine. Lesson learneded. Will endeavour to keep the lyrical unwaxed in future in AH.



There are a fair few in the Dam alright. Beautiful city tho, same goes for Prague. Apparently they have a problem there too. Encountered a few myself though I have been in Prague a fair few times.
Its the meth addicts that freak the hell out of me. Those guys have the capacity for the mental nearly every day.

usually our dublin junkies are well subjued anyway by the daily shot of methadone,the gear they buy on the streets and also the supply of benzodiazepams they get from doctors

if u see them cold turkey theyre a completely more differnt and scary animal,they get so well looked after here theyre junked up all the time so theres less problems than there could be

mirwillbeback

My funny story is that all the junkies that ruin the lives of their kids by their selfishness get murdered by a clown.

Collie D

kickoutthejams wrote: »

In all my time around EUrope, I have never, ever, seen a junkie outside of Dublin.

Check out Zurich, was only there for a couple of days but they're everywhere. Fair few in Amsterdam too.

ahyeah wrote: »

The gearhead puked his guts up, lost all the methadone, and went back on the smack cos he couldn't face a full 24 hours with no **** at all in his system.

Any excuse for a junkie. Always a sob story

truecrippler

Got really drunk in town one Friday night with a mate of mine. We ended up going to a hotel for the craic; was a room with 2 single beds by the way .

Anyways, next morning after eating our Fry Up; was delicious, we were walking down O' Connell St. and this Junkie wearing a hat saw a Dublin Bus driving along and about to stop at a bus stop. This Junkie ran towards the bus, jumped forward and bounced off it with his hat going into the air. Was in tears with laughter and my sides must have hurt for a week after with all the laughter.

The junkie got up with a bloodied nose, put his hat back on and walked off.
We went into some shops after all the laughter and went across O' Connell bridge after a few mins and saw him sitting down and begging on it.

Maybe he was looking for some Compensation off Dublin Bus or just wanted to end his life.

Was hilarious!!!

Blitzkrieger

truecrippler wrote: »

we were walking down O' Connell St. and this Junkie wearing a hat saw a Dublin Bus driving along and about to stop at a bus stop. This Junkie ran towards the bus, jumped forward and bounced off it with his hat going into the air. Was in tears with laughter and my sides must have hurt for a week after with all the laughter....Maybe he was looking for some Compensation off Dublin Bus or just wanted to end his life.

Was hilarious!!!

FYP

Time is money people.....

4zn76tysfajdxp

truecrippler wrote: »

Got really drunk in town one Friday night with a mate of mine. We ended up going to a hotel for the craic; was a room with 2 single beds by the way

A likely story.




BTW what "town" would this be?

truecrippler

Landon Future Anger wrote: »

A likely story.




BTW what "town" would this be?

Oh shaddup you :P.

Dublin City Centre

OneForTheRoad

madmik wrote: »

one day i was smoking on the hapney bridge,not in a good mood anyway ,a junkie came over and said "GIVE ME WAN A UR SMOKES"

i took one out of the box,flicked it over his head into the river and sorry bud,I cant spare one

I was hoping he was gonna take a swing but he didnt have the cahones for it

you sound like a right c'unt

Four-Percent

Landon Future Anger wrote: »

BTW what "town" would this be?

Sigh :pac: still at it eh...

4zn76tysfajdxp

Four-Percent wrote: »

Sigh :pac: still at it eh...

Yes.

dr.bollocko

OneForTheRoad wrote: »

you sound like a right c'unt

B is for Banned.

mikemac

Naos wrote: »

I bet you're the same type who would leave their tray & rubbish in a fastfood restaurant saying it's their job to clean up after you .....

There's something wrong with this?
I've worked in bars with carverys and I don't expect people to return the trays. I did it for them.Ok, it's like a fast food place where everything is disposable.

But I always leave my tray, just something I never realy thought about

Lockstep

Collie D wrote: »

Check out Zurich, was only there for a couple of days but they're everywhere. Fair few in Amsterdam too.

Yeah Zurich is dull as ditchwater,

Can see people turning to drugs.

Terry

dr.bollocko wrote: »

B is for Banned.

I probably should have scrolled down.

trout

Junkies are funny now ?

patrickc

one day last year I was standing at the central bank on Dame street, waiting on a mate, anyhow one fella came over and asked me for a light, gave it to him that was grand.
there was a limo going down Dame street stuck in traffic, girls screaming out the window etc, your man I'd just given the light to, runs over out of his tree, whips down his tracksuit bottoms and sticks his lad in the window of the limo, the girls screams changed tone all of a sudden, was funny to watch.