Stingiest thing you've seen stingy people do

starling

Dartz wrote: »

Nothing says **** you more thant "I'd rather buy some starving Africans a goat than buy you a pair of socks."

Like what do people even say when they hand something like that over? "Heres a picture of Makoso, I gave your present to him, I didn't think you'd mind...."

"I know how much you like wearing socks, so I got you these..."

stefan idiot jones

Ted_YNWA wrote: »

Get some more chocolate & lace it with laxatives & leave it in fridge.

We have a food thief in work taking the staff's dinner from the fridge. My wise piece of advice was to grind up some glass really fine and lace their food with it.
We'll soon find out who is sh!tting blood for a week.
Just like dyeing bank notes only more rewarding.

Red Kev

stefan idiot jones wrote: »

We have a food thief in work taking the staff's dinner from the fridge. My wise piece of advice was to grind up some glass really fine and lace their food with it.
We'll soon find out who is sh!tting blood for a week.
Just like dyeing bank notes only more rewarding.

Sounds like a nice place to work when there's somebody in it thieving and someone else there prepared to possibly kill you over thieving from the fridge! :rolleyes:

Corvo Attano

Sounds like a trip to Mountjoy.

stefan idiot jones

Red Kev wrote: »

Sounds like a nice place to work when there's somebody in it thieving and someone else there prepared to possibly kill you over thieving from the fridge! :rolleyes:

Not kill but 'flush' out the perpetrator.

Stereomaniac

How would you know if someone was passing blood as well, unless you monitored the toilet bowl?

stefan idiot jones

Stereomaniac wrote: »

How would you know if someone was passing blood as well, unless you monitored the toilet bowl?

Hopefully doubled up in writhing agony with blood and faeces oozing out of their trousers.
Oh, and seeing who calls in sick for a week.

Tipsy McSwagger

stefan idiot jones wrote: »

We have a food thief in work taking the staff's dinner from the fridge. My wise piece of advice was to grind up some glass really fine and lace their food with it.
We'll soon find out who is sh!tting blood for a week.
Just like dyeing bank notes only more rewarding.

Of course you did;)

Dartz

stefan idiot jones wrote: »

We have a food thief in work taking the staff's dinner from the fridge. My wise piece of advice was to grind up some glass really fine and lace their food with it.
We'll soon find out who is sh!tting blood for a week.
Just like dyeing bank notes only more rewarding.

Too extreme.

Laxative. Lots of them.

You might not know who's ****ting blood. But you'll know who's ****ting themselves every ten minutes. And who ****s themselves on the train home.

It's hard to prove. After all, you may just have been a bit absent minded that day.

stefan idiot jones

Dartz wrote: »

Too extreme.

Laxative. Lots of them.

You might not know who's ****ting blood. But you'll know who's ****ting themselves every ten minutes. And who ****s themselves on the train home.

It's hard to prove. After all, you may just have been a bit absent minded that day.

It wasn't myself (I am down the basement in maintenance) but a collegue who like myself works days. I work in an aged care home where there is twenty four hour care but the theft of food is happening in the daytime from the staff canteen fridge.
If food was taken during the night shift if someone is weak or struggling then fair enough, but as we are only five minutes from a supermarket, two vending machines in the facility and a kitchen if you are really stuck. But to steal food from a co-worker is sad and low.
It is not a resident as you need a code to enter the staff room but a downright stingy, cheap, thieving piece of vermin.
I hope they have a rectal prolapse. Scum.

Dartz

stefan idiot jones wrote: »

It wasn't myself (I am down the basement in maintenance) but a collegue who like myself works days. I work in an aged care home where there is twenty four hour care but the theft of food is happening in the daytime from the staff canteen fridge.
If food was taken during the night shift if someone is weak or struggling then fair enough, but as we are only five minutes from a supermarket, two vending machines in the facility and a kitchen if you are really stuck. But to steal food from a co-worker is sad and low.
It is not a resident as you need a code to enter the staff room but a downright stingy, cheap, thieving piece of vermin.
I hope they have a rectal prolapse. Scum.

The intent was to imply you may just have been a little absent minded to "spill some laxative in the lasagne" - not steal someone's lunch.

stefan idiot jones

The annoying thing is, that there is about fifty staff on during the day and for a few dollars no one would let someone go hungry.
But apparently the thief thought otherwise.

seosamh1980

It'd be a lot easier to lace food with hot sauce or chillies and wait til you see someone coughing and spluttering and red faced, instead of y'know, trying to kill them and have to watch for bloody poop.

NinjaTruncs

stefan idiot jones wrote: »

We have a food thief in work taking the staff's dinner from the fridge. My wise piece of advice was to grind up some glass really fine and lace their food with it.
We'll soon find out who is sh!tting blood for a week.
Just like dyeing bank notes only more rewarding.

stefan idiot jones wrote: »

It wasn't myself (I am down the basement in maintenance) but a collegue who like myself works days. I work in an aged care home where there is twenty four hour care but the theft of food is happening in the daytime from the staff canteen fridge.
...

Sounds like a great place to work, and probably an even better place to be placed in for care, if you consider suggesting attempted murder as "wise advice".

stefan idiot jones

NinjaTruncs wrote: »

Sounds like a great place to work, and probably an even better place to be placed in for care, if you consider suggesting attempted murder as "wise advice".

Who mentioned murder ? I only suggested to the girl who had her lunch stolen that the vermin should be poisoned to the point of agony not death.

It is a great place to work and live but the one rotten apple does deserve to pay. It's not just stealing, it's stealing off colleagues which is the pits.

We all get paid well in our facility. Its a privately owned aged care home so there is no excuse for not being able to afford your own lunch.

I hope they get caught and get their head slammed in the fridge door.

GalwayGuy2

Who mentioned murder ? I only suggested to the girl who had her lunch stolen that the vermin should be poisoned to the point of agony not death.

It is a great place to work and live but the one rotten apple does deserve to pay. It's not just stealing, it's stealing off colleagues which is the pits.

We all get paid well in our facility. Its a privately owned aged care home so there is no excuse for not being able to afford your own lunch.

I hope they get caught and get their head slammed in the fridge door.

All of that over a little bit of food?

Jesus, I'd say your the stingy one in that story.

wazky

stefan idiot jones wrote: »

Who mentioned murder ? I only suggested to the girl who had her lunch stolen that the vermin should be poisoned to the point of agony not death.

It is a great place to work and live but the one rotten apple does deserve to pay. It's not just stealing, it's stealing off colleagues which is the pits.

We all get paid well in our facility. Its a privately owned aged care home so there is no excuse for not being able to afford your own lunch.

I hope they get caught and get their head slammed in the fridge door.

Do the residents get the same level of hospitality?

Rasheed

stefan idiot jones wrote: »

It wasn't myself (I am down the basement in maintenance) but a collegue who like myself works days. I work in an aged care home where there is twenty four hour care but the theft of food is happening in the daytime from the staff canteen fridge.
If food was taken during the night shift if someone is weak or struggling then fair enough, but as we are only five minutes from a supermarket, two vending machines in the facility and a kitchen if you are really stuck. But to steal food from a co-worker is sad and low.
It is not a resident as you need a code to enter the staff room but a downright stingy, cheap, thieving piece of vermin.
I hope they have a rectal prolapse. Scum.

You work in a care of the elderly home, you have loads of laxatives to hand, all manner of potions to give people diarrhoea!

Wouldn't even matter the food, there's a laxative that could be concealed in it.

Shelflife

Getting back on track, yesterday spotting a customer take the prem lge fixture booklet out of one paper and putting it into the one he was buying. the other paper costs €1.30.

he took an age at the newspapers and I was wondering what he was up to, it was terrible the way when i scanned the paper that the mag fell out and I apologised to the red faced prick for putting the wrong mag into his paper.

Blured

stefan idiot jones wrote:

Who mentioned murder ? I only suggested to the girl who had her lunch stolen that the vermin should be poisoned to the point of agony not death.

Not sure it would do anything at all to them

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/poison/glass.asp

Actually, ground glass is harmless

But if you feed it to your rival and wait to see him writhing on the floor, you'll have a long wait

joe stodge

stefan idiot jones wrote: »

We have a food thief in work taking the staff's dinner from the fridge. My wise piece of advice was to grind up some glass really fine and lace their food with it.
We'll soon find out who is sh!tting blood for a week.
Just like dyeing bank notes only more rewarding.

Or you could do what my mates da done when his sandwiches were going missing.

He put a whole dead mouse in a sandwich and waited too see who had it for lunch.

He found out when your man nearly got sick on the table at dinner hour, he never had his lunch go missing after that.

jay1988

GalwayGuy2 wrote: »

All of that over a little bit of food?

Jesus, I'd say your the stingy one in that story.

So its okay for someone to keep stealing food that there colleagues have paid for?

I don't agree with the whole glass thing but he definitely isn't the stingy one in that situation.

DoozerT6

I guess you could go the old passive-aggressive route and put a big note on the door of the fridge: 'Lunch Thief - we are watching you!!' or 'would whoever seems to think it appropriate to take other people's lunches please STOP or we will be forced to use the as-yet inactive CCTV cameras in the lunchroom' something like that, doesn't matter if it's lies, if people know that their thievery is noticed and people are being more vigilant, they may stop. Failing that, a tasty-looking sandwich laced with laxatives seems just the ticket.

starling

I can't help but wonder if this person is okay with stealing someone else's lunch, are they also stealing other stuff from the residents?

On topic: my ma has some weird ideas about saving money; she will never replace a toilet roll if there's even one sheet left on it. For years I thought my dad was the culprit, but after he died I realised I'd been blaming him unfairly. Sorry Dad!

HansHolzel

This is how you deal with a fridge thief. Skip to exactly two minutes in.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6A8R5_LWBI4

Tipsy McSwagger

jay1988 wrote: »

So its okay for someone to keep stealing food that there colleagues have paid for?

I don't agree with the whole glass thing but he definitely isn't the stingy one in that situation.

The crushing up the glass thing happened in an episode of Oz not in some home for the elderly.

Cantona's Collars

Know a couple who "don't do pubs" as they aren't "into drinking" but any time there's a social occasion at somebody's house they have no problem drinking any alcohol offered to them,they never bring drink with them of course.

jca

Shelflife wrote: »

Getting back on track, yesterday spotting a customer take the prem lge fixture booklet out of one paper and putting it into the one he was buying. the other paper costs €1.30.

he took an age at the newspapers and I was wondering what he was up to, it was terrible the way when i scanned the paper that the mag fell out and I apologised to the red faced prick for putting the wrong mag into his paper.

Ha ha well done.... Miserable Git..

lufties

Can't say I have witnessed anything in particular, but I've been out on many dates with women, and some don't even offer to pay a share. The latest being an attractive chinese girl, we went out three times and I (stupidly) covered the meal every time without her even blinking n eyelid , In the end I actually asked her to pay the taxi :P

Nowadays if I take a girl out and she doesn't even offer to pay a share, there will not be a second date:cool:

Fungums

My sister and her 7 y/o were invited to stay with a cousin a few weeks ago. Arrived at about 7pm, my sister had brought two cakes and a bunch of flowers.
Cousin make them a cup of tea and opened the cake.
My sister asked if she could have a shower in the morning and she responded with ''but what shampoo will you use?'', thankfully she had brought some with her so she said she would use her own.
Told my sister that she was going doing the shopping the following day so there was no food in the house. My sister didnt dive up so she could go to the shop to get something for my niece to eat
They went to bed and after a while my niece was staving so they went into the kitchen and there was a box of cereal on the worktop so she gave the child a bowl of cereal and they went to sleep.
When they got up the next morning and the cereal had disappeared.

This cousin has stayed with us numerous times and she has been fed and given alcohol. Told to work away eat whatever, fresh towels in the hot press etc the usual you would do


She is just so tight, have soo many stories about her!