The Fathers Thread

Baby01032012

Welcome to the Board Triggermortis...it looks like it's going to get busy here soon with schnethb, Buachaill and myself all due in the next week.

Still not 100% on the name... Daniel is the only name we've agreed on. Although there are other names I'd prefer. Will wait till he arrives and then decide.

amiable

Baby01032012 wrote: »

Welcome to the Board Triggermortis...it looks like it's going to get busy here soon with schnethb, Buachaill and myself all due in the next week.

Still not 100% on the name... Daniel is the only name we've agreed on. Although there are other names I'd prefer. Will wait till he arrives and then decide.

I guarantee your partner will get what she wants then.

It's happened to me 3 times

Penny Dreadful

amiable wrote: »

I guarantee your partner will get what she wants then.

It's happened to me 3 times

Because you're so astounded at what she has to do to give birth? Myself and my fiance really hope to start a family soon and have discussed names. We cannot agree on any boys names and only kind of agree on one girls name.
I was wondering if he sees what it takes to give birth would he give me the casting vote:D

Baby01032012

2 more days til due date... Not a sign of anything happening. I hope she doesn't go too far over due date. If the baby gets any bigger it will be impossible to give birth!

Baby01032012

29th...longest day of my life. Wife's water broke 7pm yesterday 28th. At Holles St at 9pm until 1.30am. Told to go home until 5 mins apart. Arrived back in Holles St at 3 .30am due to strong pains 5 mins apart. Told not in labour despite the pains. Kept in hospital. Constant severe contractions but no sign of actual labour yet.
4.30pm and long night ahead with no sleep since Monday night.

Mink

Baby01032012 wrote: »

29th...longest day of my life. Wife's water broke 7pm yesterday 28th. At Holles St at 9pm until 1.30am. Told to go home until 5 mins apart. Arrived back in Holles St at 3 .30am due to strong pains 5 mins apart. Told not in labour despite the pains. Kept in hospital. Constant severe contractions but no sign of actual labour yet.
4.30pm and long night ahead with no sleep since Monday night.

Oh boy! I hope you have your little bundle before midnight & it's a leap year baby (plus then you can go home and get some kip tonight!).

Keep strong for your missus!!!

Baby01032012

Born on due date 1st march at 1.30pm weighting 4.3kg or 9lb 6oz. All well. Long long labour Tuesday evening to Thursday afternoon. Head was down but facing wrong way so had to use forceps. Thought might need C section but didn't in end.

Any more births out there? Holles St has been jammed with deliveries last few days.

mickydcork

Baby01032012 wrote: »

Born on due date 1st march at 1.30pm weighting 4.3kg or 9lb 6oz. All well. Long long labour Tuesday evening to Thursday afternoon. Head was down but facing wrong way so had to use forceps. Thought might need C section but didn't in end.

Any more births out there? Holles St has been jammed with deliveries last few days.

Congrats. Great news!

BUACHAILL

Baby01032012 wrote: »

Born on due date 1st march at 1.30pm weighting 4.3kg or 9lb 6oz. All well. Long long labour Tuesday evening to Thursday afternoon. Head was down but facing wrong way so had to use forceps. Thought might need C section but didn't in end.

Any more births out there? Holles St has been jammed with deliveries last few days.

Great news Baby01032012 congrats its a huge relief.

We had a similar experience. Went in for routine check up on Wednesday at 12pm and did not leave. Fluid around baby was dangerously reduced so needed to be induced right away.

With a lot of unforeseen circumstances and lots of scares our baby girl (Erin) was born on Friday at 11.40am weighing in at 7 lbs and all is perfect. In the end suction was needed to assist and at one stage section was looking the only way so counting our blessings. Cant express the relief and feelings I went through for them 3 days, everything has been put into perspective for me and I have huge respect for what you ladies go through during childbirth. My wife is amazing she handled everything that was thrown at her and didn't complain once.

Just fed her there now and could listen to her crying all night although I am sure that will wear off at some stage ha ha, for now I love it.

Steven81

Wife is 33.5 weeks gone now and we are first time parents, i have no experience with babies on how to hold, carry and basically everything but know i will learn fairly quick. We were at a scan today and were told the baby who is going to be a girl ( Zara ) was 2.6kg or 5.7 pounds. Is this normal or a bit excess at this stage, how exactly do they know this, i saw the doc doing measurements and it calculating it out but not sure exactly how it is worked out.

Oh yeah, any tips on parenthood

dublinlady

Steven81 wrote: »

Wife is 33.5 weeks gone now and we are first time parents, i have no experience with babies on how to hold, carry and basically everything but know i will learn fairly quick. We were at a scan today and were told the baby who is going to be a girl ( Zara ) was 2.6kg or 5.7 pounds. Is this normal or a bit excess at this stage, how exactly do they know this, i saw the doc doing measurements and it calculating it out but not sure exactly how it is worked out.

Oh yeah, any tips on parenthood

Sorry for crashing the fathers thread but really had to respond to this! At our 37 week check the baby had turned breech and they told us I'd have to have section if she didnt move - they sent me to fetal assessment to get her size as they wanted to know - after a long detailed scan they said she was 7&1/2 lbs and would gain 1/2lb a week at that late stage of pregnancy and so told me she would be at least 8&1/2lb if they took her out by section at 39 weeks........

She was 6lb 5oz.......... I've never heard of them getting it right!!!!

Peanut2011

Ok guy's I really need your help here!

My OH is 11 weeks gone and I could not be happier. Unfortunately I don't show emotion well and for the better word, I have not shown much excitement or interest in all this so far.

I have made it clear that I am over the moon as it was our decision to even try and I always wanted a family. As it would transpire my OH has told me today that she feels as if she is going trough all this alone and she feels out on her own. I really don't know what to do.

Quite often lately the comment "nothing has changed for you" has been played. I'm really stuck on what to do. She keeps telling me that I don't know what is happening, as in how the child is developing and what changes she is going trough, to truly know what needs to be done.

I really want to show my OH that I do care and that I am here to help and support her in any way I know and can, but it would seem that what ever I do is not enough.

Part of me also does not want to get the excitement going to the high levels as I know if I build it up and god forbid something goes wrong, she won't be able to cope with this. I am a realist and I know there are possibilities of miscarriage in early pregnancy and for that reason I don't want to start doing much until we are clear over that period.

I would be very logical thinker where she is very emotional one. I do admit, as it has been proven with a test, that I do not understand empathy. I look at everything logically and try to make it work.

Same with this, I don't know what I am supposed to learn or what I am supposed to know now and as I have stated many times, the essentials are surely shown during antenatal classes to which I have said I will attend with my OH.

So from your experience what did you as a expecting father have to do prior to birth and from existing fathers, what would you have done differently?

From any mothers out there or expecting mothers, what would you have wanted your OH to do or what has your OH done to make it easier on you?

My OH is on Boards as well and me writing this out here while logged on will surely be noticed by her, so if you want to criticise me go ahead, she probably will like to see that!

Thanks for any help or constructive criticism you may give!

mickydcork

Peanut2011 wrote: »

Ok guy's I really need your help here!

My OH is 11 weeks gone and I could not be happier. Unfortunately I don't show emotion well and for the better word, I have not shown much excitement or interest in all this so far.

I have made it clear that I am over the moon as it was our decision to even try and I always wanted a family. As it would transpire my OH has told me today that she feels as if she is going trough all this alone and she feels out on her own. I really don't know what to do.

Quite often lately the comment "nothing has changed for you" has been played. I'm really stuck on what to do. She keeps telling me that I don't know what is happening, as in how the child is developing and what changes she is going trough, to truly know what needs to be done.

I really want to show my OH that I do care and that I am here to help and support her in any way I know and can, but it would seem that what ever I do is not enough.

Part of me also does not want to get the excitement going to the high levels as I know if I build it up and god forbid something goes wrong, she won't be able to cope with this. I am a realist and I know there are possibilities of miscarriage in early pregnancy and for that reason I don't want to start doing much until we are clear over that period.

I would be very logical thinker where she is very emotional one. I do admit, as it has been proven with a test, that I do not understand empathy. I look at everything logically and try to make it work.

Same with this, I don't know what I am supposed to learn or what I am supposed to know now and as I have stated many times, the essentials are surely shown during antenatal classes to which I have said I will attend with my OH.

So from your experience what did you as a expecting father have to do prior to birth and from existing fathers, what would you have done differently?

From any mothers out there or expecting mothers, what would you have wanted your OH to do or what has your OH done to make it easier on you?

My OH is on Boards as well and me writing this out here while logged on will surely be noticed by her, so if you want to criticise me go ahead, she probably will like to see that!

Thanks for any help or constructive criticism you may give!

Hi Peanut.

These are all very natural emotions that a lot of expectant fathers experience. If it was possible, I would try and express exactly what you have written here to your OH.

I found reading books aimed at expectant fathers was very useful and it also shows your OH that you are interested and involved.

I bought 'The Expectant Father' and I was also given 'Being A Great Dad for Dummies' which I both found very good.

Hope this helps a bit.

Mick

Cianos

I'd let loose a bit more if I were you. True, something may go wrong...but how she deals with that won't be determined by your level of excitement and participation. So protecting her from that is a bit futile imo. Rather, if you were on the same level as her and getting more excited, at least she'd feel you are in it together more.

staker

BUACHAILL wrote: »

Great news Baby01032012 congrats its a huge relief.

We had a similar experience. Went in for routine check up on Wednesday at 12pm and did not leave. Fluid around baby was dangerously reduced so needed to be induced right away.

With a lot of unforeseen circumstances and lots of scares our baby girl (Erin) was born on Friday at 11.40am weighing in at 7 lbs and all is perfect. In the end suction was needed to assist and at one stage section was looking the only way so counting our blessings. Cant express the relief and feelings I went through for them 3 days, everything has been put into perspective for me and I have huge respect for what you ladies go through during childbirth. My wife is amazing she handled everything that was thrown at her and didn't complain once.

Just fed her there now and could listen to her crying all night although I am sure that will wear off at some stage ha ha, for now I love it.

Congrats Buachaill, it's worth all the worry and anxiety in the end isn't it? Nothing like a new family to put new focus in your life.Hope Erin(love the name) and mam are both resting and well after the whole lot...
Our little girl Claire is flying it since she came home, I could stay looking at ehr for hours if I was left:D

Squiggler

Peanut 2011, you sound just like my husband. I didn't say anything to him but throughout our first pregnancy I longed for him to be more involved, to learn about what was happening with me and the baby and be able to take an active part in decision making.

If your other half has a pregnancy book, read it. Find out what could be going on with her and with your baby so that you are prepared to help her, support her, make decisions with her, or, heaven forbid, make decisions for her and your baby should anything go wrong.

The worst did happen with us, our beautiful baby was stillborn at full term. It wasn't our fault, but I know that my husband is still angry with himself because he couldn't help me when he needed to.

If you don't get more involved you will most likely regret it, regardless of how your OH feels about it.

Steven81

dublinlady wrote: »

Sorry for crashing the fathers thread but really had to respond to this! At our 37 week check the baby had turned breech and they told us I'd have to have section if she didnt move - they sent me to fetal assessment to get her size as they wanted to know - after a long detailed scan they said she was 7&1/2 lbs and would gain 1/2lb a week at that late stage of pregnancy and so told me she would be at least 8&1/2lb if they took her out by section at 39 weeks........

She was 6lb 5oz.......... I've never heard of them getting it right!!!!

Thanks wont throw out the newborn clothes yet.

BUACHAILL

staker wrote: »

Congrats Buachaill, it's worth all the worry and anxiety in the end isn't it? Nothing like a new family to put new focus in your life.Hope Erin(love the name) and mam are both resting and well after the whole lot...
Our little girl Claire is flying it since she came home, I could stay looking at ehr for hours if I was left:D

Thanks Staker and congrats again on your arrival,

Your right its worth every emotion you go through. I wouldn't change her for the world. Delighted to hear Claire is flying it..great name also ( girls names are easy we had no boy picked so just as well we had a girl ha ha ).

Erin has been a little back to front sleeping all day and awake all night, however I think we will give the 4 day old a break ha ha. Couldn't care less to be honest, sleep is overrated. I am still finding it hard to take it all in, just seems so surreal. Had her heel prick test today and weigh in and she wasn't to bothered by any of it and managed to gain weight so delighted with her assessments so far.

Long may it last. May see you at a golf outing ? :eek::eek: some chance

dublinlady

Peanut 2011 - I felt a bit the same as your wife while I was pregnant but luckily my husband stepped up during the second half - I'm still convinced he needed to see the bump to believe it!!
Mind you I look at my 3 week old now and it's still all a bit surreal!!

I would buy what to expect when your expecting for both of you to read week by week and month by month so you understand what she's going through physically and emotionally at each stage, I'd also just let go and get excited - I had a couple of miscarriages and agree with the previous poster that I'd rather know my husband was as excited and so has lost as much... It's a horrible lonely time and it's so much nicer to know your nOt alone.

Short of thAt regular cups of decaf tea kept me happy!!!

If she's been feeling nauseous you could go buy her ginger biscuits or the product lillipops which can be bought in pharmacies, basically anything she moans about try to make better! Later on in the pregnancy it'll be foot rubs etc!!!

Best of luck with rest of the pregnancy - every health & happiness! It's all worth it!!

Peanut2011

Just a quick Thank You to all who came back to me. There is plenty there for me to think about and try to put in to practise.

Neyite

Peanut, my partner was uber cautious, whereas I was estatic from the start. For me, not counting chickens and all that didnt make sense - even if I didnt get my hopes up I would have shed the same number of tears for our miscarried twin as I did when I was dreaming of double buggys and what not.

Read up on the pregnancy - What to Expect when you are Expecting is great, but I found the dad's part quite condecending at times - it was all "she will be a hormonal mess and its all your fault, so suck it up" and I didnt like that. I bought The Expectant Dad's Survival Guid by Rob Kemp for him, and that was a far easier read.

I would guess that she is nervous - most women are in the first trimester and throw nausea and hormones into the mix is not nice. I was lucky my partner insisted on totally pampering me from the start- insisting on doing the lions share of the chores, giving out to me if I so much as look at emptying the dishwasher etc, running me baths, lots of TLC. Also intimacy is important - lots of hugs and kisses daily, and lots of compliments on my changing shape is reassuring when even I dont recognise my body anymore.

Talk about baby with her- names, plans for decorating the nursery, why you think she will be an amazing mother, tell her your daydreams of what you will be doing with this child in years to come etc.

shnethb

Well everyone, Its all over. Waters broke about 3 pm on Monday and Baby Oscar arrived on Wednesday morning after my wife went into Labour at 2000 on Tuesday. Longest night of my life followed by the most amazing morning I ever had. I know its been said here a lot but what happens when a woman gives birth and what the ladys do is just amazing, My wife did a fantastic job getting the little man out. He was 7lbs 14 oz. with massive feet, long fingers and a head of hair that is well due a cut. They are home now. First day home today. Sitting here watching him . Cant take my eyes of him.

cynder

Steven81 wrote: »

Wife is 33.5 weeks gone now and we are first time parents, i have no experience with babies on how to hold, carry and basically everything but know i will learn fairly quick. We were at a scan today and were told the baby who is going to be a girl ( Zara ) was 2.6kg or 5.7 pounds. Is this normal or a bit excess at this stage, how exactly do they know this, i saw the doc doing measurements and it calculating it out but not sure exactly how it is worked out.

Oh yeah, any tips on parenthood

My 2nd boy was 5lb 13oz pounds at 32 weeks and was born at 35 weeks weighing 7lb 6oz. was expected to be 10 lbs at full term.

My 3rd guy was 5lb 1 oz at 32 weeks and was born at 39 weeks weighing 8 lb 15 oz.

A friend of mine her baby was 5 lb 6 oz at 32 weeks and she was told she was having a whopper and he was due date + 10 days and weighed in at 8lb 10 oz and was 54cm.

Also going back to 1999 i had my first baby they said she was going to be average and she was 9lb 1oz and 54 cm at 39 weeks (dont recall what her 32 week scan said) , my friend was due 1 week after me and had him 1 week late via c-section as she was told she was having a whopper and he was 8lb 5oz BUT he was 60cm long (his dad was like 6 foot 8).


From MY experience is just guess work, ...

red menace

We have a girl!
she was born on Monday night at 11:36 pm after being induced that morning.
She is seven pounds exactly.
totally in awe of the awesome job her mum did throughout the labour. Couldn't be prouder of her.
they both came home yesterday and all going well so far
currently getting some tummy time curled up on my chest.
its amazing having her here now

mickydcork

red menace wrote: »

We have a girl!
she was born on Monday night at 11:36 pm after being induced that morning.
She is seven pounds exactly.
totally in awe of the awesome job her mum did throughout the labour. Couldn't be prouder of her.
they both came home yesterday and all going well so far
currently getting some tummy time curled up on my chest.
its amazing having her here now

Congrats Red Menace.

Well done to all involved!

Supercell

Words cannot describe the joy and happiness that a baby brings. Our little man was born on Saturday morning at 7AM.
Wife and baba are coming home on Monday

I hope some of the staff of the National Maternity Hospital read here and this post because you are all great. You are looking after my wife and new baby so well, we are so incredibly grateful for your care. We are public patients but feel like we are getting first class care despite the hospital being full to bursting point.

So happy

afatbollix

Hi all

My brother has just got news that he will be a father in November, Hes younger than me and a complete farmer type of lad.

Any books I should get him? To make sure he is up to scratch on what is happening to his girlfriend the changes. and what to expect he will have to do once the bundle of joy arrives.

Im quite excited and Im only getting a nice or nephew.

Steven81

Baby due today, think these are the worse days just waiting around for mother nature to happen.

Roselm

afatbollix wrote: »

Hi all

My brother has just got news that he will be a father in November, Hes younger than me and a complete farmer type of lad.

Any books I should get him? To make sure he is up to scratch on what is happening to his girlfriend the changes. and what to expect he will have to do once the bundle of joy arrives.

Im quite excited and Im only getting a nice or nephew.

The ladies on this forum normally seem to recommend What to Expect When You Are Expecting but I don't know if that would be OTT for your brother. It's supposed to be very comprehensive tho.

triggermortis

New baby girl arrived today @ 10.31. 10lb 10oz after emergency section.
Mum and Kali both doing grand. A big thanks to all in Drogheda Maternity unit and MLU (been everywhere in the end)