The most stupid thing you heard in school?

thomond2006

"If you fail your Leaving Cert, you won't get another chance"

:rolleyes:

jaysusjones

"You're a very Bright boy Jones, you'll go far"

Huh, Boy was he wrong. I bet he's embarrassed now

twinytwo

god... where to even start...

Doing something about the solar system

teacher asks if anyone had any questions.. one guy sticks up his hand and asks... "have they probed Your-anus yet sir?"

Scrambled egg

Had a horrible teacher for 1st year. You know the smart arse type who drones rather than talking.

"Sir the bell went!"
"No it didn't its still on the wall"

"Can I move sir? The suns in me eyes"
"No you can't, the sun is millions and millions of miles away"

I think hes dead now.

thomond2006

twinytwo wrote: »

Doing something about the solar system

teacher asks if anyone had any questions.. one guy sticks up his hand and asks... "have they probed Your-anus yet sir?"

lol

Daemos

jaysusjones wrote: »

"You're a very Bright boy Jones, you'll go far"

Huh, Boy was he wrong. I bet he's embarrassed now

I got "You'll be the one to put this school on the map" from my principal/friend-of-the-family. Not with a fail in Maths I won't.

I also got "If you don't get an A in your Junior Cert Irish I'm going to retire" from my teacher. One C-grade later, he's still there

Soby

algebra

4zn76tysfajdxp

DaPoolRulz wrote: »

I got "You'll be the one to put this school on the map" from my principal/friend-of-the-family. Not with a fail in Maths I won't.

I also got "If you don't get an A in your Junior Cert Irish I'm going to retire" from my teacher. One C-grade later, he's still there

I remember being told that I would go far by my French lecturer when I started college.

I later dropped out of that course and haven't gone anywhere.

Mr Freeze

Great Thread...

I remember back in the leaving cert, just after the mock exam results came back, The Biology teacher gave us our papers back and she went through the paper then, one of the sections was all short questions, and one of the questions was "Why can't bacteria grow on jam?"

Anyways, when she came to that question, she gave us the correct explanation followed by and pointed at one of my mates...

"and no James, its not because they can't resist eating it!"

He only put down that answer for the craic as he didn't know the proper answer. Good Times.

allanb49

My oh had a teacher who as she describes was in a zen like mood, nice sunny day in cashel the class are in the middle of a test and the teacher breaking the peace and tranquility Exclaims

'jaysis lads is that a blue fire engine'

Stonypockets

There was a disagreement between my Irish teacher and a not-so-bright student, the disagreement ended with the teacher saying something to the effect of "your a prized breed of homosapian."

I later heard that the guy went home and told his mother what the teacher called him, the mother got rather upset and called the teacher, to say how dare he call her son a homosapian, he is no such thing and so on and so forth.

Eventually, the teacher got a word in and calmly explained to her the meaning of homosapian.

GLaDOS

We had this complete stoner in my form class, never bothered his ass working but came out with some (unintentional) gems.

So one day he hands up a note explaining why he was missing the previous day. My form teacher looks at it, laughs and asks can he read it out to the whole class, which he consented to.

"Dear sir, please excuse **** for missing school yesterday, as his shoelaces broke and he could not wear his shoes"

All the while he stands there in his velcro runners

hacx

Chemistry Class:
"Miss, what would happen if they made a boat out of potassium?"
"Go back yo sleep, lad"

guerito

In geography class:

"The largest navy in Europe belongs to the Vikings". This from the teacher...

K-Ren

I was reading Macbeth in English and I got to ''The very firstlings of my heart shall be the firstlings of my hand'' I made a certain crude motion with my hand, much to the teachers distaste and much to the guy beside me's delight.

brummytom

Strange lesson today,

We were doing 'A View from A Bridge'
The lesson involved wondering whether Rodolfo was a gay, if Eddie was slightly perverted, with 'wrong' feelings towards Catherine; and the fact that Eddie wasn't riding Beatrice.

When Miss talked about the "peak of his manhood"; I burst out laughing

Jackobyte

In JC history yesterday. Our teacher was pointing out to us italy on a map (in case we didn't know:rolleyes:) because we were studying fascism in italy. then the retarted blonde asks where is china? The teacher points it out and then the blonde says... wait for it...

"I thought china was an island"
*stunned silence*
Then everyone just laughed including the teacher

This is the same blonde who in a geography class asked if Europe was in America...! It is actually scary how little she knows when we have JC in 9 monthes.

Jackobyte

EDIT:MY religion teacher told us how, during a GAA football match, someone elbowed him in the ribs. He turned around and knocked out the dudes teeth!:D Nice! He only lasted a year... I wonder why? He was a great influence!

minidazzler

Jackobyte wrote: »

Your religion teacher told us how, during a GAA football match, someone elbowed him in the ribs. He turned around and knocked out the dudes teeth!:D Nice! He only lasted a year... I wonder why? He was a great influence!

My religion teacher was a priest???? But yes he did knock out a guy who hit him before. Totally deserved though. (He was a young priest and a total gent)

Namlub

Remember when I was in 2nd or 3rd class in primary and we were inside with 6th class for the day because our teacher was out, and their teacher asked them what the plural of 'woman' was. Every single one of them, without fail, called out 'womans'.

DancingQueen:)

When i was on a religious retreat in 5th year the religion teacher from a different school who organised it told us she didn't believe in God. She thought the whole thing was a waste of time but told us not to tell our other teacher because she wanted to get paid :rolleyes:
At least she was honest!

Victor

Time Magazine wrote: »

It is.

Article 7.

I've no idea whay I said "no", but congratulations on correcting me after many, many months.

Jackobyte

minidazzler wrote: »

My religion teacher was a priest???? But yes he did knock out a guy who hit him before. Totally deserved though. (He was a young priest and a total gent)

Sorry meant to say MY religion teacher... He was far from a priest

elchupanebrey

Doing the circulatory system in Biology, the teacher made us draw it out and use a blue pen for the oxygenated blood coz its a darker colour than the deoxygenated blood, this was all fine til she decided to question us on it the following day.

Teacher "What colour is oxygenated blood"

Idiot student (aka me) "Blue"

Teacher "WHAT?? Are you serious? When did you ever hear of blue blood?"

Me, after much headscratching "Erm, Red.... Dark...... red"


In French class we had a right ass for a teacher, she was of a very sensitive disposition or something, and a bit thick.
There was a guy sitting in front of me with the same name as me.
One day the teacher asks a question while looking in our general direction, she says our name, James, so i know she's talking to one of us.
Neither of us answers and she starts saying " stop ignoring me"
I decide to seek clarity as to which of us she's speaking.

"Is it me you're talking to" (Blank look from teacher)
"You talkin to me"
"Me? Is it me or him you're talking to"
"Are you talking to me or him" (Further vacant stares)
"Which one of us are you talking to"
"Is it me or James you're talking to"

Teacher "Get Out"

suitcasepink

Today we were told by our religion teacher to never, ever drink. Also we were to complelty discourage our parents drinking any type of alcohol..

Theres just to many things wrong with that sentence.

Riddle101

elchupanebrey wrote: »

Doing the circulatory system in Biology, the teacher made us draw it out and use a blue pen for the oxygenated blood coz its a darker colour than the deoxygenated blood, this was all fine til she decided to question us on it the following day.

Teacher "What colour is oxygenated blood"

Idiot student (aka me) "Blue"

Teacher "WHAT?? Are you serious? When did you ever hear of blue blood?"

Me, after much headscratching "Erm, Red.... Dark...... red"


In French class we had a right ass for a teacher, she was of a very sensitive disposition or something, and a bit thick.
There was a guy sitting in front of me with the same name as me.
One day the teacher asks a question while looking in our general direction, she says our name, James, so i know she's talking to one of us.
Neither of us answers and she starts saying " stop ignoring me"
I decide to seek clarity as to which of us she's speaking.

"Is it me you're talking to" (Blank look from teacher)
"You talkin to me"
"Me? Is it me or him you're talking to"
"Are you talking to me or him" (Further vacant stares)
"Which one of us are you talking to"
"Is it me or James you're talking to"

Teacher "Get Out"

That sounds like something that would happen in The Simpsons:D

ElaElaElano

I was sitting in the dole office this morning when I remembered my old school principal mouthing off about the importance of the leaving certificate. What an old tart.

bluto63

Riddle101 wrote: »

That sounds like something that would happen in The Simpsons:D

Sounds like a night at the roxbury

Undergod

Kids in my primary school would say "I'll win you a race."

As in, they'd compete against you in a race and win. Not that they would win a race on your behalf. This bothered me at six years old.

buttercupbee

My career guidance teacher told me that if I didnt stay and do the Leaving, I would not get a job as even a CLEANER!!!
"Cleaners need maths for measurement and mixing of chemicals these days!"

Duh! - What she did NOT tell me was that I could flippin' well leave at 16 if I WANTED to and gain entry to a UNIVERSITY as a MATURE STUDENT at the age of 23, based upon my interest, ability and personal research on my chosen field of study, after I had accumulated the cash and life experience to consider such but what did SHE know, thick biatch of a lezzer nun!