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What are the worst things you can say on a first date?

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  • Registered Users Posts: 18,915 ✭✭✭✭Mimikyu


    This post has been deleted.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    In the middle of a quiet restaurant

    "How many Nursery Rhymes from your childhood can you relate to our meal? I'll start: Old McDonald Had a farm ee i eee i o, and on this farm he grew this steak ee i ee i o ...."


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,960 ✭✭✭DarkJager


    "You'll have to wait a few minutes in the living room while I hoover the crabs off the bedsheets"


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,778 ✭✭✭sebastianlieken


    "I like your hair, can I have some" ..... EPIC!:D:D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    "I was clearly drunk when i asked you out, your not as hot as i remembered".


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,746 ✭✭✭taidghbaby


    d22ontour wrote: »
    Not bad but ...

    Are rimjobs in or out ??

    :)
    This post has been deleted.
    starting to sound like a filter for sorting potential wimmins :cool:


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,746 ✭✭✭taidghbaby


    Dragan wrote: »
    "I was clearly drunk when i asked you out, your not as hot as i remembered".
    i know a fella who when out one night met a "polish" girl, got her number and started textin her!
    a few weeks later they arranged to meet in a pub, and while waiting for her, a mongolian girl came up and started talking to him, and seemed to know a bit about him!
    eventually he asked her who the hell she was!
    she replied: "i'm the girl you met a few weeks ago and have been texting since"

    still got his ride so it had a happy ending!


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,398 ✭✭✭MIN2511


    "I just got out of a relationship, not sure what i want tbh, i would like to take things slowly"




    And now i wont use it again... it just means i like you, i just want to **** you, just not into you!


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,502 ✭✭✭thefinalstage


    Dragan wrote: »
    "I was clearly drunk when i asked you out, your not as hot as i remembered".

    How many times have you used that one? Its straight forward I like it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,766 ✭✭✭Reku


    A simple gesture and two words: *look them up and down* "Check please!"


    "Hey, don't I know you? I'd swear I've seen you at my AA meetings?"


    *lean over and fart, adopt a horrified expression while uttering "oh sh*t!"*


    "Wow! My sister wears those same panties!"


    "God you look great, love your necklace, I've one just like it but with matching earrings."


    When coming from a man: "Sorry, I just have to pop into the loo for a minute to reapply my make-up."


    "Just so you understand, sex is not on the agenda tonight as I'm still worn out from my date earlier today."


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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,473 ✭✭✭R0ot


    "You remind me of my cousin" :pac:

    "Know any crab remedies?"


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    "i'm dead set against domestic violence as a rule, but it does have it's uses when used correctly"


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    "Hi, I work in advertising"


  • Registered Users Posts: 25,005 ✭✭✭✭Toto Wolfcastle


    IvaBigWun wrote: »
    "Hi, I work in advertising"

    "You know that 123.ie ad? Ya, that was me. Impressed?"


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,861 ✭✭✭Irishcrx


    "Do you want to go for a drive up the Wicklow Mountains in my van?"

    My mate said this once, it didn't go down too well for some reason.

    My mate also said this except it worked, they went at it up there like ravid animals...what a slapper...a hot slapper at that...


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    Irishcrx wrote: »
    My mate also said this except it worked, they went at it up there like ravid animals.

    She shagged in a van in the Wicklow mountains on her first date?

    Classy! :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    Jeeze, Have you seen the price of the popcorn ??? :eek:


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    IvaBigWun wrote: »
    "Im an accountant"

    Thats me fooked so.







    "Suck me beautiful"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,635 ✭✭✭tribulus


    // Sees a bit of rust, rubs finger off it, has orgasm.


  • Registered Users Posts: 24,024 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    Well, actually I'm trying to get into the Guinness Book of Records for having the most shags using the same condom without its bursting. Its clocked 822 so far. If yer up for it, I'll phone the Guinness Book of Records monitoring team and they'll be here in 15 minutes.:cool:


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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    tribulus wrote: »
    // Sees a bit of rust, rubs finger off it, has orgasm.

    Thats the strangest so far, which in this thread is saying alot ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 327 ✭✭Dlite


    I have a strange name and there's an obvious joke to be made about it.

    At the age of 28 I have heard this joke a million times, as soon as they say it, they're like....I bet ya heard that before.

    Yes I have, now beat it!:mad:


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,297 ✭✭✭Ron DMC


    ejmaztec wrote:
    Well, actually I'm trying to get into the Guinness Book of Records for having the most shags using the same condom without its bursting. Its clocked 822 so far. If yer up for it, I'll phone the Guinness Book of Records monitoring team and they'll be here in 15 minutes.
    Would you take it off and put it back on again? That's be rather difficult.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    First words out of your mouth:

    "It puts the lotion on its skin"


  • Legal Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 5,400 Mod ✭✭✭✭Maximilian


    THE worst thing you could say.:

    "...but my friends just call me Snyper."

    Fact.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,989 ✭✭✭✭chopperbyrne


    Maximilian wrote: »
    THE worst thing you could say.:

    "...but my friends just call me Snyper."

    Fact.

    I get this **** all the time.

    I introduce myself as Ger and then someone who knows me will come up and start saying "Here Chopper, who's this?"

    Sometimes I hate my nickname :(

    Then I realise it's a kickass nickname! :cool:


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,992 ✭✭✭Korvanica


    its not rape if you call it surprise sex!
    SURPRISE!


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,992 ✭✭✭Korvanica


    Dlite wrote: »
    I have a strange name and there's an obvious joke to be made about it.

    At the age of 28 I have heard this joke a million times, as soon as they say it, they're like....I bet ya heard that before.

    Yes I have, now beat it!:mad:

    Dliteful :D

    Beat It!


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    Korvanica wrote: »
    its not rape if you call it surprise sex!
    SURPRISE!

    :D


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  • Legal Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 5,400 Mod ✭✭✭✭Maximilian


    I get this **** all the time.

    I introduce myself as Ger and then someone who knows me will come up and start saying "Here Chopper, who's this?"

    Sometimes I hate my nickname :(

    Then I realise it's a kickass nickname! :cool:

    Wut? I meant Snyper, the infamous rapist, not nicknames per se.


This discussion has been closed.
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