What are the worst things you can say on a first date?

Boom_Bap

"What are your top five browsers?"

"Does your urine smell after eating asparagus?"

"Does your urine burn after eating asparagus?"

"Off the top of your head, what is the square root of 2344465757?"

"You, me, arm wrestle, let's go wwwwwwoooooooooooooooooo"

"Can you excuse us, we have to go to the bathroom"

"I once ruffee'd a girls drink, she didn't have a hangover afterwards"

"What is your favourite font?"

LadyE

Whilst in the toilet on a first date I got a text from him

"Out of the window?"



Think it was a joke?

chopperbyrne

LadyE wrote: »

Whilst in the toilet on a first date I got a text from him

"Out of the window?"



Think it was a joke?

That's a funny guy!

minxie

years ago i remember the morning after the night before......going to collect my car with same person and shaking his hand and saying "thanks very much":eek::eek: and did a runner ha

Boom_Bap

If we got serious, would you shave my back?

LadyE

chopperbyrne wrote: »

That's a funny guy!

It was a bit..blaaaa...going back to the table I tells ye!

AckwelFoley

splinter wrote: »

yeah i study in the snyper school of mating habits

You've just received 1 snyper infraction.

If you get 2 more you will be requiring reconstructive surgery on your arse.

:pac:

stevecrow74

could <insert full name of date here> migrate the sodium chloride from the position it lays to a location within the range of my extended limb!

AckwelFoley

YOU: Wow ur sexy.. can i hit that?

YOUR DATE: Sure, but i must let you know im a single mom of a 6 yr old boy..

YOU: Cool! Bonus! sex dessert!

Failure impending.

IvaBigWun

"Can we skip dessert, it's just that I took some Viagra before coming out and I can feel it beginning to kick in"

TeletextPear

IvaBigWun wrote: »

"Can we skip dessert, it's just that I took some Viagra before coming out and I can feel it beginning to kick in"

oh i bet you say that to all the girls :rolleyes: :P

Umaro

"So I guess you could say Maddy McCann was the winner of that Hide-and-Seek game!"

Check please.

TeletextPear

i hope you look as hot as your mother when you're her age

IvaBigWun

Umaro wrote: »

"So I guess you could say Maddy McCann was the winner of that Hide-and-Seek game!"

Check please.

lmao

Joe Cool

When the other party isn't looking take your lad out, balls are optional, stand close enough not to be invading their personal space (wouldn't want to seem like a weirdo).

Look them in the eyes and ask 'Have you seen my new shoes?'

Or

"Hi, I'm <your name here> but everyone else calls me Twostroke"

IvaBigWun

Joe Cool wrote: »

When the other party isn't looking take your lad out, balls are optional, stand close enough not to be invading their personal space (wouldn't want to seem like a weirdo).

Look them in the eyes and ask 'Have you seen my new shoes?'

lmfao

IvaBigWun

"If money wasn't an object, would you rather have breasts like our waitresses or your own?".

"I love the smell of soft lady skin.....~pauses for effect~...~makes strong eye contact~ Can I touch you?"

taidghbaby

do you spit or swallow??

javaboy

taidghbaby wrote: »

do you spit or swallow??

Asked before the meal is ordered, that question can save everybody a lot of time and money.

taidghbaby

javaboy wrote: »

Asked before the meal is ordered, that question can save everybody a lot of time and money.

a necessity i think!!

d22ontour

taidghbaby wrote: »

do you spit or swallow??

Not bad but ...

Are rimjobs in or out ??

Toto Wolfcastle

Some of these, if used in a jokey context, would be great for first date conversation!

GrumPy

LadyE wrote: »

Whilst in the toilet on a first date I got a text from him

"Out of the window?"



Think it was a joke?

It was, did he get lucky? :pac:

WoollyRedHat

don't play games like that. I'm completely single, I'm very intelligent, I'm great in bed, I make great money. Believe it or not, I'm a complete catch. I've only been single four months; I had a long distance relationship for about a year, it's very tough to maintain it like that; there's nothing wrong with me. As a matter of fact I'm one of the few men in the city that has nothing wrong with him. So I'm giving you the three o'clock deadline. If I don't hear from you by then, you lose my number — I'm erasing your number right now, so you won't be hearing back from me.

So that's it: three o'clock tomorrow, or you can just completely forget it.

Now I understand if you've got other issues, maybe you're not playing games, I don't know… maybe you were abused in childhood?…Maybe your mother has cancer, and you're going to chemo…maybe you're just a person who's extremely frightened or has an anxiety disorder, maybe you're on some medication for that…I don't know, there could be another issue that I'm not aware of. But nobody says "Call me," hands a person a business card and then doesn't return calls. It's extremely passive aggressive. You should actually look that up, passive-aggressive personality disorder. You let me know, if you've got issues, psychological issues, if you're on any sort of medication for anxiety or depression, I'm not interested. But if you're psychologically normal, and you haven't called me because there's been some horrible thing that's happened in your life that's prevented you from returning my calls, that's fine. But otherwise? Don't call me. Okay, bye.

Pretty sure I've heard this, it's a monologue if I remember correctly.

No doubht there is a similar person like this in the world though!

allybhoy

Guy: So What age are you again?
Her: Twenty Five
Guy: Great, do you know what the best thing about 25yr olds is?
Her: No, what?
Guy: There is twenty of em......

DanGerMus

d22ontour wrote: »

Not bad but ...

Are rimjobs in or out ??

You alternate.

DanGerMus

So what TV show's do you like, do you remember Star Trek?

EamonnKeane

<scratch hand with fork>
"I like the way the sharpness feels"

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.