Ask amp (TURBO EL33T EDITION!)

amp

kittenkiller wrote:

How drunk should I get for my birthday in a student bar this evening??

And on what?

My general advice on drinking is this:

1. Have a good meal before hand. Plenty of fluids too. This prepares your body and gives it a bit of soakage. Soakage is important.

2. You know you've had too much when either you can't talk or walk properly, however this is not always foolproof. It really depends on what your aims are for the night.

3. Have a pint of water if you do make it home in one piece. Alcohol causes dehydration, a main component of hangovers. In the morning have a good breakfast to restore your blood sugar levels.

4. What you drink is down to your personal preferences. Personally I like to start with pints of lager and then on to something stronger, usually whiskey.
That's when I want to get smashed and it usually works. Whatever you do though, be careful about mixing drinks. Don't drink a load of wine and then switch to vodka.

Remember that alchohol is a toxin therefore it should be handled with respect.

amp

Sparky-s wrote:

Do you like wearing high heals, suspenders and a bra?

Well I've never worn highheels or suspenders but I have worn a bra once. (see above pictorial highlights). My respect for women and transvestites has only increased since.

amp

Rhyme wrote:

When am who?

INVALID SYNTAX
BAD ERROR, REDO FROM START
PROGRAM WILL END NOW

amp

Scraggs wrote:

Whats with Richie Kavannagh and his weird hat?

In County Carlow there's focal to do. Therefore if some gobsheen decides to wear a stupid hat, dungarees... hang on, I'm not sure if that's not the traditional costume.

However, despite my general mistrust of counties lacking the common courtesy to have a coastline, I think Mr Kavanagh brings joy and fun to Irish people in an Irish contex. In a way, by using Gaelige in a mildly subversive fashion he helps make it a slightly cooler language to learn.

Hat's off to you Richie.

amp

DMC wrote:

Dr. Amp, what is it with those lads up north with those little orange off-the-shoulder numbers, the old London businessmens' caps and their need for a jaunty walk and a bang of the drum? Eh?

There are some in the north of this island
Who demand they be seperate from Ireland
Ian says no
Fair enough so
But at least we have the peace we demand

amp

nicryan wrote:

why do only annoying songs get stuck in my head?

-n

Hello your Holiness, I'd say it's probably down to the fact that I can't stop singing them

amp

homah_7ft wrote:

Why didn't you answer my question?

Due the many questions I've been asked
They are like sitting in sun to be basked
Some might be missed
But I'm making a list
And I'll finish whatever I'm tasked

amp

Sarky wrote:

Is it me or does that pic remind anyone else of that Kelly Ozzbourne?

That's not really fair to Kelly. Unless she's actually a man dressed as a woman and we've been FOOLED.

amp

Lust4Life wrote:

LOVED the Tootsie Pop answer!!!!

So next question, do you make any money impersonating Kelly Osborne????

Well myself and Mr Pudding (who was in much better drag than I) recieved sponsorship to the tune of around 3000 euro from the people of boards. This went to the Santa Strike Force charity that ninja's toys into kids hospitals.

Still want to know why hubby doesn't sing in the shower!

L4L

I think I got that one. For more information I suggest asking said husband.

amp

homah_7ft wrote:

Can I try an answer?

You can create a thread called Ask Homer_7ft, but otherwise no.

amp

Lust4Life wrote:

Why does James Brown still make me feel like dancing after all these years???

Ode To James Brown

Get up, Get on up
Get on the scene HUH GET UP
Like a sex machine

I guess it's because he keeps demanding that you get on up.

amp

clown bag wrote:

if there was a fight between you and the mighty wise Gnome to decide who gets to answer all these wonderful questions who would win, bearing in mind that for the purposes of said death match the Gnome has super powers such as super strength in the right side of his body and an extra long left arm giving him a reach advantage.

You would have super strong bad breath (enough to kill a gnome) but would have to get in under his long reaching left jabs to get close enough to breathe on him, thus risking a thunderous right uppercut from the gnome’s enhanced strength in the right hand. What tactics would you use and who would be the ultimate victor.

I'd kick him in the nuts. Job done.

Shabadu

What should I do for my Hen Night? I want to bring my guy friends too but I don't know if this is allowed. I was thinking about booking a room in a pub and just inviting everyone I know.

Sleepy

When will I, will I be famous?

Sparky

What happens if an unstoppable object, hits an immovable object, and both of the objects are indestructible?

Lust4Life

Amp, I really enjoy your answers!

Here's some good questions 4 you!

Do Romans call an I.V. a 4?????

Why isn't PHONETIC spelled the way it sounds?

If someone invented Instant Water, what would they mix it with?

Is there another word for Thesaurus?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the others have to???

What became of Preparation A through G?????

L4L

6th

If a baby duck is called a duckling, whats a dumpling?

homah_7ft

Thanks for answering my questions. Could you recommend a good book to read?

kittenkiller

amp wrote:

My general advice on drinking is this:

1. Have a good meal before hand. Plenty of fluids too. This prepares your body and gives it a bit of soakage. Soakage is important.

2. You know you've had too much when either you can't talk or walk properly, however this is not always foolproof. It really depends on what your aims are for the night.

3. Have a pint of water if you do make it home in one piece. Alcohol causes dehydration, a main component of hangovers. In the morning have a good breakfast to restore your blood sugar levels.

4. What you drink is down to your personal preferences. Personally I like to start with pints of lager and then on to something stronger, usually whiskey.
That's when I want to get smashed and it usually works. Whatever you do though, be careful about mixing drinks. Don't drink a load of wine and then switch to vodka.

Remember that alchohol is a toxin therefore it should be handled with respect.

If only I could've read that last night!

GrumPy

Sparky-s wrote:

What happens if an unstoppable object, hits an immovable object, and both of the objects are indestructible?

This one is a great question, always wondered bout' this myself.

Tar.Aldarion

If I don't fill out the forward on bebo, will my kittens get raped by a ghost?

Guest

Sparky-s wrote:

What happens if an unstoppable object, hits an immovable object, and both of the objects are indestructible?

BUMMER!!!

Sparky

am&#1088 wrote:

BUMMER!!!

Goodbye Polmki.

Hail 2 Da Chimp

am&#1088 wrote:

BUMMER!!!

Why would you say that amp??? Why would you wreck the whole thread??? What did it ever do to you :'o(

amp

Shabadu wrote:

What should I do for my Hen Night? I want to bring my guy friends too but I don't know if this is allowed. I was thinking about booking a room in a pub and just inviting everyone I know.

Given it's your hen night I think you are allowed to do whatever* you like.


T&C apply

homah_7ft

Do you know how the post count was recalculated and if so how was it done?

mr_angry

Aren't you dead? Or at least MIA?

amp

Sleepy wrote:

When will I, will I be famous?

Interesting (if Bros related) question.

Thanks to the internet, the rise of reality television and the constant pace of technology we all have the ability to be famous. As to "when", well that's up to how much you want to be famous.

amp

Sparky-s wrote:

What happens if an unstoppable object, hits an immovable object, and both of the objects are indestructible?

Given humanities current understanding of the laws of physics the above situation is highly improbable.

That said, when the unstoppable object(A) hit's the immovable object(B) it would bounce off it on a different vector, that vector depending on the shapes of both objects and the angle of vector of A.

If they were both sphere's (for example), and A hit B dead on then it would travel backwards along it's original trajectory.

This allows A to keep moving and B not to move at all, while both remain indestructible.

I have tested this theory by bouncing a tennis ball of a wall.

amp

Lust4Life wrote:

Amp, I really enjoy your answers!

Here's some good questions 4 you!

Do Romans call an I.V. a 4?????

Because V is 5 and I is one. The I before the V means you subtract 1 from 5 and get four.

Why isn't PHONETIC spelled the way it sounds?

Because it has roots in Latin.

If someone invented Instant Water, what would they mix it with?

Instant water could be liquid oxygen. Mixing instructions would be full of dire warnings about explosions and mixing two parts of hydrogen per one part oxygen.

Is there another word for Thesaurus?

Wordlist

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the others have to???

That depends on the message they are trying to convey.

What became of Preparation A through G?????

They were a complete failure. However, I would imagine that some parts and idea's were eventually used to complete Preparation H, which feels good on the whole.