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The stupidest thing you've ever heard someone say
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what a class thread
anyway here are some choice cuts uttered by an unnamed friend of mine:
1.Went into a McDonalds , wanted a burger with nothing on it and said.
"Can i have a naked burger please" then asked a second time
2.He asked for a "single return" ticket at a train station!
3.Once referred a pitchfork as a forkstick!!!
and many many many more i cant recall at the moment.
Oh, and heres one by me
Got slightly confused in a shop and said to my gf that i wanted some "vietnamese whirls" (should be viennese whirls).
And just to get the obligatory stupid american bit in.
A mate of mine while in the US on a J1 convinced americans that steam powered trains were new over here, that his family lived in a trench because of the troubles and that leprechauns were a plague on the island and he had to clean them off his garden every morning 0 -
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Originally posted by beatsie
2.He asked for a "single return" ticket at a train station!
One of my friends said the exact same thing on a bus one time, we got some laugh out of it.
And one other time my cousin went in to the local chipper, and he asked the guy behind the counter for a breast of chicken with no bra. I was nearly on the floor with laughter! 0 -
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WANG CARES
On a similar note,
if you owned a corperation called powergen,
and you had an italian branch,
What would your address be?
http://www.powergenitalia.com/0 -
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In a house i was livin in first year in college,
myself, one of the girls (Síle) that was livin in the house and one of the lads (tom) that was livin there aswell were talkin sh!t.
tom and sile were havin a smoke,
i was just talking sh!t,
it goes quiet and tom tries to break the silence,
he looks at his cig and nods his head approvingly,
"these things go down like a real man"
myself and sile pissed ourselves laughing.
while tom stayed quite.
he was trying to say
"these things go down like a real mans cigarette". 0 -
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heres the build up,
I moved into this house in 3rd year in college, where i still live now,
i knew the people pretty well that i moved in with before hand except for one of the lads girlfriends, we'll call her sue.
about a month goes by and one evenin we're just watchin tv and talking ****,
and out of nowhere sue pipes up and asks in the most innocent manner,
"why does everybody call you Divilly?"
we all started laughing, leaving her kinda offended.
then i replied,
"because thats my surname."
fact.
btw, do any of ye ever read FHM? theres a small section every month called
"out of the mouth of babes" showcasing the silly things that women say. funny stuff...0 -
Originally posted by monument
Single = one
In my local chipper, the convention for asking for "a single of chips" is simply "one chips" - being singular and plural in the one sentence. Phrases such as two chips or three chips always makes me grin.
But it's been my chipper for the last 10 years, and I resisted the local vernacular for about 8 years, but over the last couple, I seem to have adopted it - even though I really really hate it. Just seems safer.
D.0 -
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In a shop in america at the checkout and the woman, being friendly, asks us where we're from... We say that we're from Ireland, and she says something like "is that far from here?", to which we say, "it's in Europe". The next bit is the best
- she says "i suppose you came over here on the train?". We just said no, that the atlantic tunnel isnt finished yet, and just got out of there to laugh. 0 -
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