The stupidest thing you've ever heard someone say

Panda

Oh and i rem this fool that went to the same secondary school as me once said

"Uhhh yeah im going to the superbowl in america during the holidays."

to which i replied,
"Stop talking ****"

gets all offended and replys,
"no seriously i am!!!

then i said,
"no you aren't, now stop talking ****."

his comeback was,
"**** YOU!"

to which mine was,
"No steve, **** you, superbowl was last month."

azezil

On a night out in Glitz
<boards member ixoy> you don't have much of an accent, you must have spent a lot of time in Dublin growing up

I didn't know if i should laugh or cry

On tv. on the show distraction they had some big brother members on, <presenter>a sport begining with 'S' <guest> 'cycling'

moridin

Originally posted by azezil
I didn't know if i should laugh or cry

You did tell him you spent your early years on Mongo learning how to grow a Ming the Merciless goatee, yes?

azezil

Oi feck u puff fairy, with your brady bunch dance routine!

moridin

Hahahahaha *hug*

ixoy

Originally posted by azezil
On a night out in Glitz
<boards member ixoy> you don't have much of an accent, you must have spent a lot of time in Dublin growing up

Mutter. Well umm... yeah. Umm, can I plead hazy memory again? Innocence due to the consumption of alcoholic beverages inhibiting any form of judgement? Or something?

tonky

... after he'd rear-ended my car at the Airport roundabout -
"Oh ... I thought you were going to go...".
So funny, I settled privately for the cost of repair - gem.

Agent Smith

"Sion hill girls r d soundest grls eva!!!!"



oh i laughed when i read this!

Töpher

Originally posted by agent smith
"Sion hill girls r d soundest grls eva!!!!"



oh i laughed when i read this!

Hahahahaha!

Originally posted by agent smith
"Sion hill girls r d soundest grls eva!!!!"



oh i laughed when i read this!

LOL.

Raz

<George Bush> The problem with the French is they don't have a word for 'Entrepreneur'.

From LOTR:TT
Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli tracking Merry and Pippins escape from the Orc, Rohirrim battle.
<Aragorn> .. and the went ...
<Legolas> .. into Fangorn forest!
<Gimli> What Madness drove them in there?

mydarkstar

My brother was in college in Ohio a few years back and had to share a house with 6 other (mostly intelligent) students. There was however one exceptionally dimwitted girl, Courtney. One of the housemates was a Mormon and invited his other friends over for prayers & singing......
Courtney walked in halfway through and freaked out, screaming to everyone "OH MY GOD, you guys, the Mormons are having a seance!"

She was also the girl who believed that all Irish people had to come to America by boat- she thought that Ireland was too small to land a plane on or you would fall off the edge of the country.....

.....hmmm, not the brightest crayon in the box.

tman

Originally posted by mydarkstar
She was also the girl who believed that all Irish people had to come to America by boat- she thought that Ireland was too small to land a plane on or you would fall off the edge of the country.....

.....hmmm, not the brightest crayon in the box.

sweet jesus!:eek:

Okie

I have heard a few stoopid things in my time and (admittedly) been responsible for a few myself, buuuut.....

A few years ago; some of you might remember; that poor bloke who was chopped up to pieces and the body parts put in a suitcase then thrown in a river. Can't remeber the exact reason behind it, but while hearing reports on the news about this, my mate was overheard saying.....


"Jesus, do you think was it suicide?"

Confused looks all round then a torrent of abuse as the rest of us tried to imagine this suitcase hopping down the road!

Might be one of those "had to be there moments" but Lord did we laugh?!

Töpher

Originally posted by Okie
I have heard a few stoopid things in my time and (admittedly) been responsible for a few myself, buuuut.....

A few years ago; some of you might remember; that poor bloke who was chopped up to pieces and the body parts put in a suitcase then thrown in a river. Can't remeber the exact reason behind it, but while hearing reports on the news about this, my mate was overheard saying.....


"Jesus, do you think was it suicide?"

Confused looks all round then a torrent of abuse as the rest of us tried to imagine this suitcase hopping down the road!

Might be one of those "had to be there moments" but Lord did we laugh?!

ROFLFMAO! Hahahahaha!

Civilian_Target

Since the find funtion didn't turn this one up:

George W: "Half of all Americans receive a below average education"

You don't say...

User45701

I teacher once said

"I have neaver been wrong, I thought i was wrong once but it was a mistake"

dictatorcat

two friends of mine overheard this the other day

skanger1 "where did ya get those shoes, they're nice?"

Skanger2 "ah in Dr. Querkies"

ska1 "wha? Dr. Querkies don't sell shoes?"

Ska2 "nah they don't, i knicked them."

Vlad Drac

One that springs to mind is my Geography teacher saying "Don't be silly *insertname* Brazil is Not a Country"

Töpher

My old Geog teacher once spent an entire class arguing that the Mississipi wasn't the biggest river in the world. (we were talking about girth, not length). lol.

uberwolf

Originally posted by Civilian_Target
Since the find funtion didn't turn this one up:

George W: "Half of all Americans receive a below average education"

You don't say...

strictly speaking an average can be skewed by a minority having results well above the norm. Although i'm sure Bush didn't mean it like that.

However the same man reported his belief that fish and man could coexist peacefully.

skipn_easy

What does sort do (while looking at me typing w | sort on the cmd line)?

It sorts...

"Oh"

embee

At work one day, myself and two friends out having a smoke and chatting about our manager and how stupid he is....

Friend called Lisa is of an average intelligence. Not so for Bernie.

Me : God, hes such a dickhead.
Lisa : He is. Do you know he has no grasp on basic maths.. and him an accounts manager?
Me : He probably shagged the bosses on his way to the top.
Lisa : Those shags must have been scheduled in and around his frontal lobotomy.
Bernie (after a long pause to think and in the dopiest voice imaginable) : Whats a frontal lobotomy?????



Another 'genius' quote from Bernie....

'Wouldnt it be great to be a wheel'

Civilian_Target

Originally posted by uberwolf
strictly speaking an average can be skewed by a minority having results well above the norm. Although i'm sure Bush didn't mean it like that.

Yeah, but over such a large population as 300million, thats nearly impossible...

The funny thing, is on average, half of the people in an average will be less than average....

Eitherway, its another great bushism.

Blitzkrieger

Didn't hear it myself but a guy I used to work with allegedly said : "My dad's MR2 has 16 gears" Yes, he was 20 at the time.

While walking past a pub with lots of bright pink lights and rainbows in the window called "Homo Erectus", a guy who will never live it down said : "That place looks cool! Lets go in!".

One by me (deliberate)
Dumb girl "Wie komme ich ambested zum bahnhof."
what's the best way to get to the train station
Me "Mit dem Zug"
by train
Dumb girl "Ha, ha, ha. You're so stupid."

Another by me :
Way back in primary school the teacher was talking about Dun being the Irish for fort, then asked; "Do you know the name of any places with 'Dun' in them?" For some reason people were actually listening and started calling out names (Dungarvan, Dundalk, Donegal, etc.), so I decided to put my hand up and mention the name of the village where my cousins lived at the time; Doon. The teacher picks me, I call out "Doon" and I get the dirtiest look ever.
It was years later that I figured out I must have looked like the slowest kid ever.

Capt'n Midnight

Originally posted by Civilian_Target
Yeah, but over such a large population as 300million, thats nearly impossible...

The funny thing, is on average, half of the people in an average will be less than average....

Eitherway, its another great bushism.

Don't forget that the vast majority of people have more than the average number of legs.

Exit

If we're gonna talk about ourselves here, we used to play football out our back garden, and the ball went over the wall into a neighbouring garden. None of us were in the mood to go knock for it back, so we just played with a different ball. After a while, that one also went over the wall, so I had to go knock for them back (Before anyone asks, they had a huge wall, so I couldn't just climb in and get them) I knocked on the door, and the woman answered and I said "Can I have my balls back please?", the woman burst out laughing at me.

It wasn't until days later that I realised what I'd said.

Nedrac

A guy in my year was to talking to a friend during lunch and said "Aw man you stink of BO?"

To which the friend replied:
"I dont use that s**t"???

tonky

In Leaving Cert COC Rathmines, mate reciting Macbeth to the class: "hoovered through the fog and filthy air".
Amid unbeliveable laughter insists; "That's what it says here in the book". Years later, he's still getting stick every time we meet.

popinfresh

Overeard two Americans talking. One goes "It's called sarcasticness you idiot" . And in school, the principal was pissed off giving out to my year for something, and she said "If you want to act like you can all just go and do what you want on Leeson Street" Prolly had to be there, it was priceless. Our whole year just laughed in her face.