Originally Posted by beertons
You chase them or they chase you?
The first, (the year long one) he chased me. At the risk of sounding very naive, I didn’t even realize he was
chasing me for a while. (I will come back to that issue in a longer post tomorrow).
The second, the fling/repeated one-nighters, was different. The first time was a VERY drunken night in a foreign country. If you had said to me earlier that day that I’d end up in bed with that particular man that night I’d have laughed you out of it. I’d known him (peripherally, through work) for years and never gave him a second thought, and I’m sure he would have said the same about me. We were on a quite posh night out- it was an event held in a romantic city, on a ship cruising down the river. The drink flowed. We were sitting beside each other and just clicked. I had never been in a social setting with him before. It was about 10 years ago now and I can still remember the second I felt that first attraction- I said something funny, he started laughing and his whole face just transformed and I got a real visceral bolt of attraction, and thought to myself “he’s actually lovely looking”. I did flirt with him thereafter, and by the time it came to getting bank on dry land I think we both knew where it was going. After the night together, we got back to normal in that we had no further contact til the next work meeting, which was a few weeks later. I drove it, in that I deliberately engineered my attendance at meetings/conferences that I knew he’d be at. We’d spend the night together and then go back to normal. There was no contact whatsoever between the nights. And as I said above, it just gradually fizzled out. He changed roles at work and was moved to a different area for part of the week, and we just started crossing paths less often. To the best of my knowledge, his wife never found out. Nobody ever found out, other than my sister, whom I confided in (she didn’t know him).