Would you date a single mother?

14dMoney · 23-07-2019 2:51pm #1

Would you date a single mother, or would you be put off by the baggage?

One eyed Jack · 23-07-2019 2:56pm

14dMoney wrote: »

Would you date a single mother, or would you be put off by the baggage?

That’s only if I thought her having a child was baggage in the first place.

As it happens, I don’t. They’re two separate individuals, I wouldn’t be dating the child! :pac:

Plopsu · 23-07-2019 2:57pm

Surely everybody has baggage?

Thelonious Monk · 23-07-2019 2:57pm

In Soviet Russia, single mothers date you!

Tell me how · 23-07-2019 2:57pm

14dMoney wrote: »

Would you date a single mother, or would you be put off by the baggage?

Yes. But...... I would try to really suss out long term compatibility asap before bonding with her child.

Don't like the idea of connecting with a child but 12 months later disappearing.

(I wouldn't automatically assume them being a mother equates to baggage)

Tony Tucker · 23-07-2019 2:58pm

If i had no kids of my own, no.

Church on Tuesday · 23-07-2019 2:58pm

Honestly I would not. That might seem a bit shallow but it would be way too complicated and messy for me personally.

I know people who did date single mothers and some are with them long term now and fair play to them, however, the odd issue comes up for them though which can cause drama so not for me.

Boom_Bap · 23-07-2019 2:59pm

I'm dating a single mother at the moment, she has 2 kids. I just happen to be the father as well.

23-07-2019 2:59pm

Yeah, I'd be a bit iffy, but probably would if she was nice..

For some reason I'd be way more reluctant to go out with someone who had been married..

s7ryf3925pivug · 23-07-2019 3:03pm

When I was single I did and didn't give a sh!t but I wasn't looking for a relationship. If I liked someone enough to have wanted them to have been my gf then I wouldn't have been put off just by them having a kid - but I could see it leading to problems especially if the father was obstructive in some way.

Former Observer · 23-07-2019 3:04pm

A lot of virgins in this thread

Tell me how · 23-07-2019 3:05pm

Former Observer wrote: »

A lot of virgins in this thread

By choice or are would you say it was, umm, involuntary in your case?

Penn · 23-07-2019 3:05pm

I wouldn't choose to date a single mother, but if I got to know a woman and it turned out she had a kid/kids but I was still interested in her anyway, I wouldn't let it put me off.

One eyed Jack · 23-07-2019 3:08pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Honestly I would not. That might seem a bit shallow but it would be way too complicated and messy for me personally.

I know people who did date single mothers and some are with them long term now and fair play to them, however, the odd issue comes up for them though which can cause drama so not for me.

That’s not shallow at all tbh. It’s completely understandable - we all have our dealbreakers no matter what they are. I wouldn’t want to date a woman who suggested that herself and her child are “a package deal”. It’s fine if that’s how she sees their relationship, but it wouldn’t be how I’d see any potential relationship.

In the same way, I’ve had no shortage of women offered their opinion without being asked, that they wouldn’t date a single father, which is fine by me, not only because I understand where they’re coming from, but because I think they were more than a bit presumptuous in assuming I’d ever be so desperate :pac:

Then there are also no shortage of women who tell me they would have no issues dating a single father (some women are rather attracted to the idea), but again - I’m not that desperate, but it’s nice to be offered. I wouldn’t ever use the word “desperate”, I’d just say “thanks, but no thank you”.

candycock · 23-07-2019 3:09pm

Ok imo I dated and lived with a single mother who had 2 kids for 3 years, ended up bonding with the kids,split from the mother and now she refuses to allow me or the kids any communication, i have no rights so it's my tough sh#t, it can be heartbreaking and difficult to deal with but time heals, however I could never put myself through that pain ever again so it's a no from me.Think long and hard before u enter into a relationship where theres kids involved.

Gatling · 23-07-2019 3:11pm

From experience have done several times in the past with only one really bad experience.
There humans with Human needs nothing to be scared of especially a single mom- they have a hard enough job alone

One eyed Jack · 23-07-2019 3:17pm

candycock wrote: »

Think long and hard before u enter into a relationship where theres kids involved.

Thank you for that advice, candycock.

TheValeyard · 23-07-2019 3:37pm

Hmm. To be very honest, my first thought would be yes, definitely, no problem. But then reality sinks in, I've a child and rarely get any free time as it is. How would I if single have time to date anyone else, let alone invest in another relationship. It could be unfair on the other person as my life is heavily restricted. Child always comes first. I suppose as the kid gets older you regain more free time and independence so it might be possible. So.....in other words OP, I do not know if I could.

Although I've a shed load of respect for single parents. The amount of time and energy in raising a child when there are two of ye involved, can only imagine the effort needed by single or lone parents.

theteal · 23-07-2019 3:38pm

What age are you OP?

I suspect opinions on this will vary greatly based on how long in the tooth we all are.

nthclare · 23-07-2019 3:40pm

It's hard on single mothers to find a good man.
Some only have every second weekend to themselves, or even only a Saturday every second weekend.

Guy's get a bit anxious at the whole not being able to be spontaneous and adventurous etc

I've tried it but my son's over 18 now and he's going independent rapidly.

If I was to date someone who has a kid I'd prefer to be dating someone who's kid is over 18 as it's easier to meet up and head off into the sunset and not be worried about leaving the kid on their own.

It's unfortunate as there's a lot of nice single mum's, but some guy's haven't the patience to wait every second weekend.....or every second Saturday for an 8 hour time together...

bear1 · 23-07-2019 3:54pm

From the other side of the coin.
I've two kids from a previous marriage and my girlfriend has no issue with me having them.
Sometimes it isn't easy but you both have to know where you stand before committing to them meeting.
Mine are still relatively young, 4 and 1.5.
We openly talk about our future together and we both agreed that we have to be ready before we move to that stage of the relationship.
If you both are mature and see a future then I see no reason why kids could be a barrier.

yourdeadwright · 23-07-2019 3:56pm

No life is tuff enough don't need the extra hassle,

Anyone who is saying its not hassle is lying,
Some guys can put up with the extra bother and fair play to them but its not for me,

Thankfully iv my own kids and missus so I don't need to worry about it .,

weldoninhio · 23-07-2019 3:57pm

14dMoney wrote: »

Would you date a single mother, or would you be put off by the baggage?

I'd definitely date one, at least you know she puts out.

leitrim4life · 23-07-2019 3:57pm

Single mothers would be loose , hence why they are single, therefore more likely to put out.

Gimme A Pound · 23-07-2019 4:00pm

leitrim4life wrote: »

Single mothers would be loose , hence why they are single, therefore more likely to put out.

And suddenly, After Hours turned into an episode of The In-Betweeners.

LollipopJimmy · 23-07-2019 4:02pm

leitrim4life wrote: »

Single mothers would be loose , hence why they are single, therefore more likely to put out.

Jesus ****ing christ, are you 10?

Anyway, I went on a few dates with a single mother, it didn't work because I like to do things off the cuff rather than plan, I hate planning. That was pretty much the only issue I had

mad muffin · 23-07-2019 4:06pm

If she was a milf.

branie2 · 23-07-2019 4:11pm

I might

nthclare · 23-07-2019 4:58pm

sugarman wrote: »

I wouldn't if I could avoid it, but if I did happen to meet someone really nice who happened to have a kid I wouldn't hesitate to at least give it a go.

I'm at the age where a fair few women my own age might have kids, if I'm still single a couple of years down the line the pool of women without kids is going to decrease so it's something you can't be too picky about pending your age.

Ironically I dated a woman who had a kid through a sperm donor..

We spent nearly a year together until she had a relapse of depression and anxiety, she couldn't handle the relationship.
So we broke up amicably.

It's 6 months ago and I still from time to time wonder how they're doing.

He was a lovely little chap, we played ball together watched documtrys about American ice trucks etc he loved anything with an engine and wheels...

When one gets into a relationship with a single parent and gets close to the kid the breakup can be twice the blow....

I thought it would be great having a wee lad and a partnership again, anyhow I'm just saying be careful dating single mum's because if you get to enjoy their little family life and feel part of it and it doesn't work out...it's tough

I met them a month ago in Ennis and he put his arms straight out for me, it brought tears to me and his mum's eyes...

Woke Hogan · 23-07-2019 5:01pm

Former Observer wrote: »

A lot of virgins in this thread

And people whose formative life experiences came from watching episodes of Friends, I would guess. Wouldn't "date" a single mother because of the "baggage," indeed.

eviltwin · 23-07-2019 5:03pm

Wouldn't bother me at all. I'm a parent myself and tbh I'd be more inclined to date someone with kids than someone without.

Would you date a single mother?

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