Would you date a single mother?

14dMoney

Would you date a single mother, or would you be put off by the baggage?

One eyed Jack

14dMoney wrote: »

Would you date a single mother, or would you be put off by the baggage?

That’s only if I thought her having a child was baggage in the first place.

As it happens, I don’t. They’re two separate individuals, I wouldn’t be dating the child! :pac:

Plopsu

Surely everybody has baggage?

Thelonious Monk

In Soviet Russia, single mothers date you!

Tell me how

14dMoney wrote: »

Would you date a single mother, or would you be put off by the baggage?

Yes. But...... I would try to really suss out long term compatibility asap before bonding with her child.

Don't like the idea of connecting with a child but 12 months later disappearing.

(I wouldn't automatically assume them being a mother equates to baggage)

Tony Tucker

If i had no kids of my own, no.

Church on Tuesday

Honestly I would not. That might seem a bit shallow but it would be way too complicated and messy for me personally.

I know people who did date single mothers and some are with them long term now and fair play to them, however, the odd issue comes up for them though which can cause drama so not for me.

Boom_Bap

I'm dating a single mother at the moment, she has 2 kids. I just happen to be the father as well.

Yeah, I'd be a bit iffy, but probably would if she was nice..

For some reason I'd be way more reluctant to go out with someone who had been married..

s7ryf3925pivug

When I was single I did and didn't give a sh!t but I wasn't looking for a relationship. If I liked someone enough to have wanted them to have been my gf then I wouldn't have been put off just by them having a kid - but I could see it leading to problems especially if the father was obstructive in some way.

Former Observer

A lot of virgins in this thread

Tell me how

Former Observer wrote: »

A lot of virgins in this thread

By choice or are would you say it was, umm, involuntary in your case?

Penn

I wouldn't choose to date a single mother, but if I got to know a woman and it turned out she had a kid/kids but I was still interested in her anyway, I wouldn't let it put me off.

One eyed Jack

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Honestly I would not. That might seem a bit shallow but it would be way too complicated and messy for me personally.

I know people who did date single mothers and some are with them long term now and fair play to them, however, the odd issue comes up for them though which can cause drama so not for me.

That’s not shallow at all tbh. It’s completely understandable - we all have our dealbreakers no matter what they are. I wouldn’t want to date a woman who suggested that herself and her child are “a package deal”. It’s fine if that’s how she sees their relationship, but it wouldn’t be how I’d see any potential relationship.

In the same way, I’ve had no shortage of women offered their opinion without being asked, that they wouldn’t date a single father, which is fine by me, not only because I understand where they’re coming from, but because I think they were more than a bit presumptuous in assuming I’d ever be so desperate :pac:

Then there are also no shortage of women who tell me they would have no issues dating a single father (some women are rather attracted to the idea), but again - I’m not that desperate, but it’s nice to be offered. I wouldn’t ever use the word “desperate”, I’d just say “thanks, but no thank you”.

candycock

Ok imo I dated and lived with a single mother who had 2 kids for 3 years, ended up bonding with the kids,split from the mother and now she refuses to allow me or the kids any communication, i have no rights so it's my tough sh#t, it can be heartbreaking and difficult to deal with but time heals, however I could never put myself through that pain ever again so it's a no from me.Think long and hard before u enter into a relationship where theres kids involved.

Gatling

From experience have done several times in the past with only one really bad experience.
There humans with Human needs nothing to be scared of especially a single mom- they have a hard enough job alone

One eyed Jack

candycock wrote: »

Think long and hard before u enter into a relationship where theres kids involved.

Thank you for that advice, candycock.

TheValeyard

Hmm. To be very honest, my first thought would be yes, definitely, no problem. But then reality sinks in, I've a child and rarely get any free time as it is. How would I if single have time to date anyone else, let alone invest in another relationship. It could be unfair on the other person as my life is heavily restricted. Child always comes first. I suppose as the kid gets older you regain more free time and independence so it might be possible. So.....in other words OP, I do not know if I could.

Although I've a shed load of respect for single parents. The amount of time and energy in raising a child when there are two of ye involved, can only imagine the effort needed by single or lone parents.

theteal

What age are you OP?

I suspect opinions on this will vary greatly based on how long in the tooth we all are.

nthclare

It's hard on single mothers to find a good man.
Some only have every second weekend to themselves, or even only a Saturday every second weekend.

Guy's get a bit anxious at the whole not being able to be spontaneous and adventurous etc

I've tried it but my son's over 18 now and he's going independent rapidly.

If I was to date someone who has a kid I'd prefer to be dating someone who's kid is over 18 as it's easier to meet up and head off into the sunset and not be worried about leaving the kid on their own.

It's unfortunate as there's a lot of nice single mum's, but some guy's haven't the patience to wait every second weekend.....or every second Saturday for an 8 hour time together...

bear1

From the other side of the coin.
I've two kids from a previous marriage and my girlfriend has no issue with me having them.
Sometimes it isn't easy but you both have to know where you stand before committing to them meeting.
Mine are still relatively young, 4 and 1.5.
We openly talk about our future together and we both agreed that we have to be ready before we move to that stage of the relationship.
If you both are mature and see a future then I see no reason why kids could be a barrier.

yourdeadwright

No life is tuff enough don't need the extra hassle,

Anyone who is saying its not hassle is lying,
Some guys can put up with the extra bother and fair play to them but its not for me,


Thankfully iv my own kids and missus so I don't need to worry about it .,

weldoninhio

14dMoney wrote: »

Would you date a single mother, or would you be put off by the baggage?

I'd definitely date one, at least you know she puts out.

leitrim4life

Single mothers would be loose , hence why they are single, therefore more likely to put out.

Gimme A Pound

leitrim4life wrote: »

Single mothers would be loose , hence why they are single, therefore more likely to put out.

And suddenly, After Hours turned into an episode of The In-Betweeners.

LollipopJimmy

leitrim4life wrote: »

Single mothers would be loose , hence why they are single, therefore more likely to put out.

Jesus ****ing christ, are you 10?


Anyway, I went on a few dates with a single mother, it didn't work because I like to do things off the cuff rather than plan, I hate planning. That was pretty much the only issue I had

mad muffin

If she was a milf.

branie2

I might

nthclare

sugarman wrote: »

I wouldn't if I could avoid it, but if I did happen to meet someone really nice who happened to have a kid I wouldn't hesitate to at least give it a go.

I'm at the age where a fair few women my own age might have kids, if I'm still single a couple of years down the line the pool of women without kids is going to decrease so it's something you can't be too picky about pending your age.

Ironically I dated a woman who had a kid through a sperm donor..

We spent nearly a year together until she had a relapse of depression and anxiety, she couldn't handle the relationship.
So we broke up amicably.

It's 6 months ago and I still from time to time wonder how they're doing.

He was a lovely little chap, we played ball together watched documtrys about American ice trucks etc he loved anything with an engine and wheels...

When one gets into a relationship with a single parent and gets close to the kid the breakup can be twice the blow....

I thought it would be great having a wee lad and a partnership again, anyhow I'm just saying be careful dating single mum's because if you get to enjoy their little family life and feel part of it and it doesn't work out...it's tough

I met them a month ago in Ennis and he put his arms straight out for me, it brought tears to me and his mum's eyes...

Woke Hogan

Former Observer wrote: »

A lot of virgins in this thread

And people whose formative life experiences came from watching episodes of Friends, I would guess. Wouldn't "date" a single mother because of the "baggage," indeed.

eviltwin

Wouldn't bother me at all. I'm a parent myself and tbh I'd be more inclined to date someone with kids than someone without.

14dMoney

Woke Hogan wrote: »

And people whose formative life experiences came from watching episodes of Friends, I would guess. Wouldn't "date" a single mother because of the "baggage," indeed.

Well it depends what you consider baggage. I despise children, so a single mother definitely has baggage for me.

Tell me how

14dMoney wrote: »

Well it depends what you consider baggage. I despise children, so a single mother definitely has baggage for me.

That's your baggage my friend.

ELM327

I would always have said no, but I'm now 7 years together with a single mother of 2.

Cork Trucker

leitrim4life wrote: »

Single mothers would be loose , hence why they are single, therefore more likely to put out.

I didn't have that issue

14dMoney

Tell me how wrote: »

That's your baggage my friend.

No it isn't. The child belongs to her.

freshpopcorn

I'd be very open to it to be honest if we clicked.
Once she didn't have six kids with loads of different guys.

Schwanz

You meet a nice girl, you fancy her & then she tells you she has children......

Your loss really when you see that as a negative.

Woke Hogan

14dMoney wrote: »

Well it depends what you consider baggage. I despise children, so a single mother definitely has baggage for me.

You're such a Phoebe.

Schwanz

leitrim4life wrote: »

Single mothers would be loose , hence why they are single, therefore more likely to put out.

Idiot post of the century there pal.

One eyed Jack

Schwanz wrote: »

You meet a nice girl, you fancy her & then she tells you she has children......

Your loss really when you see that as a negative.

“You meet a nice girl, you fancy her & then she tells you she has a penis......

Your loss really when you see that as a negative.”



Quite honestly, I think I’ll be ok :pac:

Schwanz

One eyed Jack wrote: »

“You meet a nice girl, you fancy her & then she tells you she has a penis......

Your loss really when you see that as a negative.”



Quite honestly, I think I’ll be ok :pac:

WTF are you on about?

FunLover18

Tell me how wrote: »

Yes. But...... I would try to really suss out long term compatibility asap before bonding with her child.

Don't like the idea of connecting with a child but 12 months later disappearing.

(I wouldn't automatically assume them being a mother equates to baggage)

This is pretty much how I feel, except I know that I don't want kids so I wouldn't want to waste either of our time with something casual that I know I don't want to go anywhere further.

freshpopcorn

Schwanz wrote: »

You meet a nice girl, you fancy her & then she tells you she has children......

Your loss really when you see that as a negative.

To be fair I don't think everybody wants to signed up to the whole kids thing early in a relationship. It may not be the type of lifestyle for them.

_blaaz

Id be wary of it....dating is enough hassle as it is,without heaping more hardship into the situation



Im not a child friendly person,just not for me,so wouldnt be fair on anyone involved....that being said...if was right person and a good fit...why not like

Gimme A Pound

If people don't want to be in a relationship with someone who has a child or children, so what? Nothing wrong with that. It's not easy.

As said though, the older a person is when single, the less choice they have in the matter. And if you like them enough, you might give making it work a shot.

One eyed Jack

Schwanz wrote: »

WTF are you on about?

I’m pointing out the sheer stupidity of your assertion that someone else’s dealbreakers are their loss. It’s an incredibly arrogant assumption on someone else’s part to assume that the other person is losing out on something because they don’t share your opinion.

Kinda reminds me of when women assume I must be gay because I don’t want to date them, my loss though, apparently :rolleyes:

Henry Ford III

If she was sane and had a nice ass it'd have to be a possibility.





p.s. Yes.

Schwanz

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Kinda reminds me of when women assume I must be gay because I don’t want to date them, my loss though, apparently :rolleyes:

It's all about you pal isn't it?

Nice rant though.

stateofflux

Not a chance. too complicated. Not into potentially being a surrogate dad plus this triangle s*ite with the ex who could well be a psycho.

Odyssey 2005

No. My missus would smother me !