Dental plan!

toastedpickles · 14-04-2014 6:05pm

I suggest you leave immediately.

Or what? You'll release the dogs, or the bees, or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?
Well, go ahead, do your worst!

My worst eh?!

Smithers! Release the robotic Richard Simmons!

paddylonglegs · 14-04-2014 9:40pm

Iv had "blow the man down matey, blow the man down" by the sea captain in my head for the last few days now

Omackeral · 15-04-2014 11:54pm

Hi, you've reached the Corey hot-line. $4.95 a minute. Here are some words that rhyme with Corey: Gory. Story. Allegory. Montessori.

The Plank · 16-04-2014 12:27am

http://vimeo.com/24701987

'If he fights back I'll say that he's gay'

Noccy_Mondy · 16-04-2014 10:42pm

Bart: Dear God, we paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing.

Sunglasses Ron · 17-04-2014 5:04am

Announcer: Okay, the capital of North Dakota is named after what German ruler?

Homer: HITLER!

Marge: Hitler North Dakota?

Duffy the Vampire Slayer · 17-04-2014 5:35am

Oh well, I suppose its time for your bribe. You can have the washer and dryer over where the lovely Mr Smithers is standing, or you can trade it all for what's in this box.

viper006 · 17-04-2014 2:54pm

Lionel Hutz: Homer, I dont use the word "Hero" often but you are the greatest hero in American History.

pojfexcsc · 17-04-2014 3:05pm

"So what do you do?"

"Well Sir, I stand out in front of cars and sue the drivers"

dr.fuzzenstein · 17-04-2014 3:24pm

Duffy the Vampire Slayer wrote: »

Oh well, I suppose its time for your bribe. You can have the washer and dryer over where the lovely Mr Smithers is standing, or you can trade it all for what's in this box.

The box, the box!

pajor · 18-04-2014 6:29pm

A great line and general insult:

"Hey fun boys! Get a room!"

Omackeral · 18-04-2014 6:35pm

"I’ve had a lot of jobs in my life: boxer, mascot, astronaut, baby proofer, imitation Krusty, duck driver, hippie, plow driver, food critic, conceptual artist, grease salesman, carny, mayor, grifter, body guard for the mayor, country western manager, garbage commissioner, mountain climber, farmer, inventor, Smithers, Poochie, celebrity assistant, power plant worker, fortune cookie writer, beer baron, Kwik-E-Mart jerk, homophobe, and missionary, but protecting people, that gives me the best feeling of all."

Noccy_Mondy · 19-04-2014 10:59pm

Who can prevent forest fires? You have selected you, referring to me. That is incorrect, the correct answer is you.

Sunglasses Ron · 20-04-2014 4:30am

Homer begs Marge to take him back into the house

Homer: Wait a minute...wait, that's it! I know now what I can offer you
that no one else can: complete and utter dependence!

Marge: Homer, that's not a good thing!

RobbingBandit · 20-04-2014 8:54pm

Still one of the best scenes.

Edna Krabappel: Okay, now who can pick out the predicate in this sentence?

Sleeping Homer Simpson: Ahhh!

Edna Krabappel: What is it now, Bart?

Bart Simpson: Night terrors, Ma'am.

Sleeping Homer Simpson: Ahh! Cobras!

RobbingBandit · 20-04-2014 8:59pm

Noccy_Mondy wrote: »

Who can prevent forest fires? You have selected you, referring to me. That is incorrect, the correct answer is you.

Not from this scene but still funny as hell.

Homer: When a fire starts to burn there is a lesson you should learn, something, something then you'll see you'll avoid catastrophe.

C14N · 21-04-2014 12:13am

RobbingBandit wrote: »

Not from this scene but still funny as hell.

Homer: When a fire starts to burn there is a lesson you should learn, something, something then you'll see you'll avoid catastrophe.

Homer: Ahbababab! If ifs and buts were candy and nuts-ngh, how does the rest of that go?

C14N · 21-04-2014 12:15am

Homer: He's a carnie! And part of a noble tradition! Carnies built this country, the carnival part of it anyway.

suicide_circus · 21-04-2014 12:30am

Guide: "On May 21, 1864 the men of the 9th Bearded Infantry were sunning and fluffing their beards in the sun.Suddenly, enemy troops crested that hill over there."

Civil War recreation enemy actor: "Fort Springfield, we surrender unconditionally! We're sick! We need leeches and hacksaws to saw off our gangrenous limbs."

Guide: "But the Springfield brigade was too brave to accept their surrender."

Civil War recreation Springfielder actor: "Come on, boys.Those white flags are no match for our muskets! Charge!"

Guide: "And the Springfielders heroically slaughtered their enemies as they prayed for mercy."

C14N · 21-04-2014 1:18am

suicide_circus wrote: »

Guide: "On May 21, 1864 the men of the 9th Bearded Infantry were sunning and fluffing their beards in the sun.Suddenly, enemy troops crested that hill over there."

Civil War recreation enemy actor: "Fort Springfield, we surrender unconditionally! We're sick! We need leeches and hacksaws to saw off our gangrenous limbs."

Guide: "But the Springfield brigade was too brave to accept their surrender."

Civil War recreation Springfielder actor: "Come on, boys.Those white flags are no match for our muskets! Charge!"

Guide: "And the Springfielders heroically slaughtered their enemies as they prayed for mercy."

Reminds me of

Tour Guide: The enemy surrounded the fort, and said that if the captain was sent out, the rest would be spared.
Bart: What did they do?
Tour Guide: They sent him out!
Bart: Was he killed?
Tour Guide: And how! That's why they call it 'Fort Sensible'.

DazMarz · 21-04-2014 2:02am

Hey! They're tryin' to learn for free!!!

Get 'em!!!

USE YOUR PHONEY GUNS AS CLUBS!!!!!!!

Rega · 21-04-2014 10:15am

Eat up Martha

jd007 · 23-04-2014 7:33pm

Bart: There's badger in there

Homer: Badger my ass! It's probably Milhouse!

haro124 · 23-04-2014 8:14pm

[When Patty and Selma come by the Simpsons' home with a tombstone for Homer]

Marge: A tombstone?!

Patty: It came with the burial plot, but that's not important: the important thing is, Homer's dead.

Selma: We've been saving for this since your wedding day.

Makood · 23-04-2014 8:43pm

[\QUOTE] Homer: When a fire starts to burn there is a lesson you should learn, something, something then you'll see you'll avoid catastrophe.

[/QUOTE]

My favourite episode ever

ivytwine · 23-04-2014 9:05pm

haro124 wrote: »

[When Patty and Selma come by the Simpsons' home with a tombstone for Homer]

Marge: A tombstone?!

Patty: It came with the burial plot, but that's not important: the important thing is, Homer's dead.

Selma: We've been saving for this since your wedding day.

Homer J Simpson: We are richer for having lost him.

Galway K9 · 23-04-2014 11:11pm

C14N wrote: »

Homer: He's a carnie! And part of a noble tradition! Carnies built this country, the carnival part of it anyway.

Woah can you do that again?

Galway K9 · 24-04-2014 6:16pm

hey , heads up, i know the new episodes are crap but theres a new sideshow bob one on now on RTE 2. Pretty good.

also scorpio ep[isode is on channel 4....best episode ever

haro124 · 25-04-2014 10:53pm

TV Announcer: Your cable TV is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless."

Chief Wiggum: [peering under the covers] "Well, I'll be damned."

RobbingBandit · 25-04-2014 11:24pm

Off topic be damned, Argos and Smyths have the simpsons lego in store for €2.89, seems to be in some stores only, code doesn't work online, code is 1666450, the hunt is on!

toastedpickles · 27-04-2014 12:41am

Welcome to Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge. I am Carvallo. Now, choose a club. You have chosen a three wood. May I suggest a putter? Three wood. Now enter the force of your swing. I suggest feather touch. You have entered "power drive". Now, push seven, eight, seven to swing.
Ball is in: parking lot. Would you like to play again?
You have selected "no".

RobbingBandit · 27-04-2014 12:44am

Bart: Buy me Bonestorm or go to HELL!

HugsiePie · 27-04-2014 2:31am

He's not spiderpig anymore
He's Harry Plopper

RobbingBandit · 27-04-2014 8:04pm

Spiderpig, Spiderpig, does whatever a Spiderpig does, can he swing from a web? No he can't cause he's a pig. Look out, he is a Spiderpig!!!

Absoluvely · 27-04-2014 8:11pm

Mom: That boy's parents must've made some terrible mistakes.

Kid: Shut up, Mom!

Omackeral · 28-04-2014 8:19am

Absoluvely wrote: »

Mom: That boy's parents must've made some terrible mistakes.

Kid: Shut up, Mom!

Woman: Gavin, don't you already have this game?

Gavin: No, Mom, you idiot! I have Bloodstorm, and Bone Squad, and Bloodstorm II, stupid.

Woman: Oh, I'm sorry, honey. We'll take a Bonestorm.

Gavin: Get two. I'm not sharing with Kaitlin!

Bart: [dreamy] That must be the happiest kid in the world.

haro124 · 29-04-2014 3:34pm

Homer: It's like David and Goliath, only this time David won.
[Lisa sighs]

Lisa's Brain:I know, I heard it too. Here's some music.

[Piano music plays quietly. Lisa smiles contentedly]

AnonoBoy · 29-04-2014 3:45pm

Chief Wiggum: Hey, what about military school? It set my brother straight. Now he owns and operates a famous cave.

ivytwine · 30-04-2014 11:18am

Bart: Mom, what if there's a really bad, crummy guy who's going to jail, but I know he's innocent?

Marge: Well Bart, your Uncle Arthur used to have a saying: "Shoot 'em all and let God sort them out." Unfortunately, one day he put his theory into practice. It took 75 Federal Marshals to bring him down. Now let's never speak of this again.

Bart: Mom, what if I can get this guy off the hook? Should I do it?

Marge: Honey, you should listen to your heart... and not the voices in your head, like a certain uncle did one gray December morn.

Dirty Dingus McGee · 30-04-2014 2:12pm

From the flying hellfish episode

Mr. Burns: Fernando, it's M.B.

Fernando Vidal: Ah, Marion Barry! Is it time for another shipment,
already?

Wise Old Elf · 30-04-2014 6:44pm

Can't beat the classics...(on now)
Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all.
Stupid sexy flanders

paddylonglegs · 30-04-2014 7:28pm

What in the name of high school football?

toastedpickles · 01-05-2014 8:47pm

In the depression you had to grift! Or work....

Galway K9 · 02-05-2014 11:33am

Wazdakka · 02-05-2014 12:02pm

Probably here already...

Don't care...
Suck it internet!!

Cake Man · 02-05-2014 12:15pm

Snake: "if only they had pee-wee hockey when I was a lad......oh well" *smashes seat with crowbar*
Wiggum: "let's tear this place apaaaart"
Moleman (on ground after falling down the steps): "we paid for blooooooood"

Classic episode!

Dirty Dingus McGee · 02-05-2014 2:06pm

Cake Man wrote: »

Snake: "if only they had pee-wee hockey when I was a lad......oh well" *smashes seat with crowbar*
Wiggum: "let's tear this place apaaaart"
Moleman (on ground after falling down the steps): "we paid for blooooooood"

Classic episode!

Fight!
Fight!
Fight!
Fight!
Fight!
Fight!
Fight!
Fight!
Fight!
Fight!

C14N · 03-05-2014 5:42pm

Cake Man wrote: »

Snake: "if only they had pee-wee hockey when I was a lad......oh well" *smashes seat with crowbar*
Wiggum: "let's tear this place apaaaart"
Moleman (on ground after falling down the steps): "we paid for blooooooood"

Classic episode!

Yeah that's ice hockey alright.

Kilkenny14 · 03-05-2014 11:04pm

C14N wrote: »

Yeah that's ice hockey alright.

Two of my favourite quotes were in that episode;

1. "What he meant to say is Monster Island is actually a peininsula!"

2. "Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

Noccy_Mondy · 03-05-2014 11:06pm

Homer: Marge, where's that...metal... dealy...you use to...dig...food?

Dental plan!

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