Man has sex with chicken

Rockbeast2 · 02-08-2020 11:46am

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

I remember years ago reading about a guy done for having sex with a horse. There were many witnesses to this horrific act.

He was doing it round the back of a farm shed in a remote area of the countryside, where he thought no one could see.

Unfortunately (fortunately), a rail line ran past the back of the farm. And unfortunately (fortunately), a packed train happened to break down on the line right behind the farm, right at that time.

I remember being shocked at the time that he could do such a thing:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2761124/amp/Katie-Hopkins-FINALLY-admits-caught-camera-outdoor-romp-husband-Celebrity-Juice.html

Jimbob1977 · 02-08-2020 11:52am

There's easier ways to teach Officer Barbrady to read.

Feisar · 02-08-2020 11:54am

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Whats the odds of a guy who rides animals meeting a partner who likes to film him doing it, sounds like they are a perfect match.

How does one even go about broaching a subject like that!?! "Would you like roast chicken?" "No, actually I'd like to roast a chicken".

Eduard Khil · 02-08-2020 12:19pm

Shut your fcukin face chicken fcuka

mistersifter · 02-08-2020 1:24pm

A interesting twist on the classic chicken skewer ...

You won't find that recipe in a Delia Smith book, that's for sure.

I Am The Law · 02-08-2020 1:29pm

Anyone feel like chicken tonight?

I Am The Law · 02-08-2020 1:29pm

.......... chicken tonight?

Timberrrrrrrr · 02-08-2020 1:31pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Sterilise them so they can't procreate. We need less incredibly stupid people in the world.

But we don't know they are stupid until they get caught doing stupid things.

Chalk McHugh · 02-08-2020 1:34pm

This saucy crackpot just doesn't give a cluck.

Bobblehats · 02-08-2020 3:31pm

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Whats the odds of a guy who rides animals meeting a partner who likes to film him doing it, sounds like they are a perfect match.

Reverse the roles and he’s a cluckold

AMKC · 02-08-2020 6:07pm

I think he needs to be plucked before anymore poor chickens get fu,caked by this sick man.

Randy Archer · 02-08-2020 6:18pm

Grab All Association wrote: »

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/husband-admits-having-sex-chickens-22453075.amp?__twitter_impression=true

Real life chicken lover. Thankfully these people are stupid enough to film their disgusting acts and get caught.

The next part isn’t funny though

Bradford . Ha, North of England really has some undesirables . It’s one thing if this happened in Norfolk ( moo says Alan Partridge) but it always seems to be somewhere North

Arghus · 02-08-2020 6:30pm

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Care to enlighten us on how one differentiates between the sexy chickens and the average ones?

If you have to ask, you're never gonna know.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 02-08-2020 8:24pm

Thank goodness the Mirror had the foresight to add a picture of a chicken to the story just so people were aware what one looked like.

Kylta · 02-08-2020 8:29pm

I wonder what the rooster was thinking?
I bet it wasn't 'well fu¢k me'

TheBlackPill · 02-08-2020 8:32pm

does anybody suspect the wife is coerced into helping him with his pervsersions and may not be able to say no to him due to genuine fear for her life?

Chalk McHugh · 02-08-2020 8:32pm

Big Bird was lucky this kinky madman never winged his way onto the set of Sesame Street.

02-08-2020 8:42pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Sterilise them so they can't procreate. We need less incredibly stupid people in the world.

I don't think that would stop a chicken ****er

BorneTobyWilde · 02-08-2020 8:53pm

When he was taken down his wife gave him a peck on the cheek, and has vowed to stand by him, through chick and thin, claiming that men like him are as scarce as hen’s teeth.

BorneTobyWilde · 02-08-2020 8:54pm

retro:electro wrote: »

Quality thread some responses have me howling

Everyone’s a comedi-hen round here

Chalk McHugh · 02-08-2020 8:55pm

The warnings signs for this mad clucker were there all along. Few years back he was caught cracking one off to Beaky Blinders.

retro:electro · 02-08-2020 9:28pm

He doesn’t fap he flaps

mrm · 02-08-2020 10:39pm

rtron wrote: »

Which came first?

The chicken or the Baig?

Plumbthedepths · 02-08-2020 10:53pm

Stuffing the chicken taken to a new level.

dinorebel · 03-08-2020 12:14am

Tiger20 wrote: »

I wonder, was he a leg or a breast man?

Did he fillet?

dotsman · 03-08-2020 12:18am

Is it just me or is the strangest part of this story being that his wife filmed it?

As in, it wasn't just one person with a really weird sexual fantasy/perversion, but that both the husband and wife happened to share it?

You also have to wonder which one of them first broached the subject with the other and how!

Arghus · 03-08-2020 12:23am

dotsman wrote: »

Is it just me or is the strangest part of this story being that his wife filmed it?

It's strange alright, but the strangest part is still him fcking the chicken.

JupiterKid · 03-08-2020 12:39am

Sometimes I do wonder if the West has become too decadent...

...mind you, that chicken could have been very very alluring.

03-08-2020 8:50am

And we scratch our heads wondering how avian flu gets transmitted to humans

Chalk McHugh · 03-08-2020 9:03am

We've got a real sicko here alright. Apparently KFC have been put on nationwide high alert and each branch given his mugshot because he's applied for quite a few jobs behind enemy line's. God knows what could happen if this sly fox gets into the henhouse. Definately a few nuggets short of a happy meal, this one.

JP Liz V1 · 03-08-2020 11:51am

I don't think I'll be eating chicken anymore

RandomName2 · 03-08-2020 11:54am

I think that if you looked at his childhood you'll find that he was subjected to multiple rewatches of howard the duck.

retro:electro · 03-08-2020 12:02pm

It will be some squawk of shame into court that day

Galwayguy35 · 03-08-2020 12:18pm

I'm not really going to think on it too much but its baffling how it was even possible for him to do it.

mistersifter · 03-08-2020 12:51pm

probably started with just innocent peck on the cheek

antodeco · 03-08-2020 12:56pm

#bwocklivesmatter

ShatterAlan · 03-08-2020 2:01pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Sterilise them so they can't procreate. We need less incredibly stupid people in the world.

That's illegal.

We need less people making stupid meaningless posts just for thanks.

Feisar · 03-08-2020 2:31pm

ShatterAlan wrote: »

That's illegal.

We need less people making stupid meaningless posts just for thanks.

It's a thread. In AH. About a lad that had sex with a chicken. What sort of profoundly thoughtful insights were you expecting exactly?!!

McGinniesta · 03-08-2020 3:35pm

Reminds me of the guy that was rear ended by an arabian stallion.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enumclaw_horse_sex_case

BeerWolf · 03-08-2020 3:45pm

Dear God...

Reminded me of this South Park episide;

El Tarangu · 03-08-2020 3:56pm

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

I remember years ago reading about a guy done for having sex with a horse. There were many witnesses to this horrific act.

In fairness, at least with the horse, they would be unlikely to experience much discomfort (tbh they might not even notice a human-sized penis); a poor wee chicken though

mistersifter · 03-08-2020 5:36pm

When confronted about his actions the guy replied.....

"wait, aren't organic chickens the ones that like getting fúcked?"

Rikand · 03-08-2020 6:11pm

Kylta wrote: »

Could you imagine any guest's he had around for dinner wondering did he tenderise their chicken before cocking it

Fyp

Chalk McHugh · 03-08-2020 6:17pm

This story is stuck in my head now. When in supermarket earlier on when picking up a carton of eggs i could of sworn it said porn fed chicken.

Tiger20 · 03-08-2020 6:35pm

dotsman wrote: »

Is it just me or is the strangest part of this story being that his wife filmed it?

As in, it wasn't just one person with a really weird sexual fantasy/perversion, but that both the husband and wife happened to share it?

You also have to wonder which one of them first broached the subject with the other and how!

She probably told him she wanted to make a film about ornithology, and he thought she said pornagraphy. Either way, it was going to be a chick flick. Together, they hatched a plan, and had casting sessions. She said which one, and he replied any cockadoodwilldoo, so she picked one going cheep. They needed seed money, thinking this film will be huge and the can pullet off. However, laying all your eggs in one basket is dangerous, and they soon would fall off their perch. Assuming people would flock to see it, they were actually clutch ing at straws. Filming went on for hours, so they had to rooster scenes. Sensing a roasting was coming, the chicken tried to scramble, but ended up getting skewered. And after all that, they found the return was chicken feed.

railer201 · 03-08-2020 9:28pm

He was just crossing the road !

Feisar · 03-08-2020 9:38pm

Tiger20 wrote: »

She probably told him she wanted to make a film about ornithology, and he thought she said pornagraphy. Either way, it was going to be a chick flick. Together, they hatched a plan, and had casting sessions. She said which one, and he replied any cockadoodwilldoo, so she picked one going cheep. They needed seed money, thinking this film will be huge and the can pullet off. However, laying all your eggs in one basket is dangerous, and they soon would fall off their perch. Assuming people would flock to see it, they were actually clutch ing at straws. Filming went on for hours, so they had to rooster scenes. Sensing a roasting was coming, the chicken tried to scramble, but ended up getting skewered. And after all that, they found the return was chicken feed.

Sir, the Internet salutes you.

04-08-2020 3:54am

I hear he was a master bater

Thephantomsmask · 04-08-2020 7:49am

Deleted User wrote: »

I hear he was a master bater

Master baster :pac:

stoneill · 04-08-2020 7:56am

Was he a chicken plucker's son?

Man has sex with chicken

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