Eight years ago, my life changed because of drugs. My story.

LETHAL LADY · 03-04-2016 1:57am

Kovu wrote: »

Oh matron!

That's the long term acid damage

:pac:

somuj · 03-04-2016 2:11am

The "drug binge" you endulged did no damage to your brain.

Whayever halucinations you experienced just made you aware that the world is not hahaha make friends every didection I turn. No more, no less. You turned into an adult.

You basically described growing up.

somuj · 03-04-2016 2:19am

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I feel like I've missed out. I've no experience of anything fun mentioned in this thread. I was always big into the party scene but never really touched anything back then, no E, no acid, no speed.

Take everything more than once except speed. E is much better on 3rd time. 5 times enuf and always with drink. Cocaine lots too but less than 10. Huge lines if ya do. Small lines will not give you the experience. Trips are dirt but take shrooms for real halucinations to know how crap acid is. But always with friends you feel 100% safe with. Heroin with a junkie so they wild scold you and tell you NO. Great feeling but do ya wanna end up like the person shouting "no" beside you

Speed makes you feel like you are speed. Speed gone. Rapid onset of depression. Will only last the day. Horrible though.

maudgonner · 03-04-2016 2:20am

somuj wrote: »

The "drug binge" you endulged did no damage to your brain.

Whayever halucinations you experienced just made you aware that the world is not hahaha make friends every didection I turn. No more, no less. You turned into an adult.

You basically described growing up.

Stand back folks, we've got a world expert in neuroscience and neurochemistry here! I never realised the power of Boards as a diagnostic tool.

somuj · 03-04-2016 2:26am

maudgonner wrote: »

Stand back folks, we've got a world expert in neuroscience and neurochemistry here! I never realised the power of Boards as a diagnostic tool.

Its called a lifetime of experiemce. Hearing similar stories for years.

Stand back folks. I found a world class A......

maudgonner · 03-04-2016 2:31am

somuj wrote: »

Its called a lifetime of experiemce. Hearing similar stories for years.

Stand back folks. I found a world class A......

It's quite a definitive and dismissive (borderline insulting) statement for someone who has no expertise to back it up.

LETHAL LADY · 03-04-2016 2:34am

maudgonner wrote: »

Stand back folks, we've got a world expert in neuroscience and neurochemistry here! I never realised the power of Boards as a diagnostic tool.

It's kind of right though, speaking as one who has dabbled:)

MacauDragon · 03-04-2016 2:36am

somuj wrote: »

Take everything more than once except speed. E is much better on 3rd time. 5 times enuf and always with drink. Cocaine lots too but less than 10. Huge lines if ya do. Small lines will not give you the experience. Trips are dirt but take shrooms for real halucinations to know how crap acid is. But always with friends you feel 100% safe with. Heroin with a junkie so they wild scold you and tell you NO. Great feeling but do ya wanna end up like the person shouting "no" beside you

Speed makes you feel like you are speed. Speed gone. Rapid onset of depression. Will only last the day. Horrible though.

Words to live by.

iirc my gp said similar.

Or was it the pharmacist.

somuj · 03-04-2016 2:40am

maudgonner wrote: »

It's quite a definitive and dismissive (borderline insulting) statement for someone who has no expertise to back it up.

How did the experts become experts? Where did their non dismissive information come from?

LETHAL LADY · 03-04-2016 2:41am

maudgonner wrote: »

It's quite a definitive and dismissive (borderline insulting) statement for someone who has no expertise to back it up.

I really doubt that expertise enter the thoughts of those who end up experimenting or addicts for that matter.

maudgonner · 03-04-2016 2:41am

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

It's kind of right though, speaking as one who has dabbled:)

From https://www.drugabuse.gov/

Longterm effects of Hallucinogens can include:

Visual disturbances
Disorganized thinking
Paranoia
Mood disturbances

It also states that while these may be more common in people with a history of psychological problems, they can occur to anyone,even after a single use.

At the risk of believing 'the man' over some poster on the internet who has heard stories from his friends, I'd be inclined to take the word of the OP, the others on the thread who have described similar occurrences, and a bunch of scientists & doctors who have spent years studying it.

LETHAL LADY · 03-04-2016 2:48am

maudgonner wrote: »

From https://www.drugabuse.gov/

Longterm effects of Hallucinogens can include:
Visual disturbances

Disorganized thinking

Paranoia

Mood disturbances

It also states that while these may be more common in people with a history of psychological problems, they can occur to anyone,even after a single use.

At the risk of believing 'the man' over some poster on the internet who has head stories from his friends, I'd be inclined to take the word of the OP, the others on the thread who have described similar occurrences, and a bunch of scientists & doctors who have spent years studying it.

Scary stuff! But I know when I was a teenager this meant diddly squat to me. Quite the opposite truth be told.

somuj · 03-04-2016 2:49am

maudgonner wrote: »

From https://www.drugabuse.gov/

Longterm effects of Hallucinogens can include:
Visual disturbances

Disorganized thinking

Paranoia

Mood disturbances

It also states that while these may be more common in people with a history of psychological problems, they can occur to anyone,even after a single use.

At the risk of believing 'the man' over some poster on the internet who has head stories from his friends, I'd be inclined to take the word of the OP, the others on the thread who have described similar occurrences, and a bunch of scientists & doctors who have spent years studying it.

I wonder what the side effects of alcohol are? Or a packet of nurofen. Almost all prescription medication I took the time to read has a very similar warning in the small print. Covers about all.

"Mood disturbances".

TheHillOfDoom · 03-04-2016 2:54am

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I feel like I've missed out. I've no experience of anything fun mentioned in this thread. I was always big into the party scene but never really touched anything back then, no E, no acid, no speed.

Believe me. You have not missed out.

somuj · 03-04-2016 2:56am

maudgonner wrote: »

Stand back folks, we've got a world expert in neuroscience and neurochemistry here! I never realised the power of Boards as a diagnostic tool.

What is your experience with illegal narcotis?

Actually curious.

recylingbin · 03-04-2016 3:08am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Yea, for years now. Everyone thinks it's fun and games and they think they can handle anything.

I woke up different. I could feel it and it never left.

I drank liquid anthrax through my eye before. Great night by all accounts.
It fucjd me up though, next day I was an accountant

Thank your lucky stars.

TheHillOfDoom · 03-04-2016 3:10am

The saddest thing from this thread is the realisation that you really can't put an old head on young shoulders.

Take care out there.

Sir Osis of Liver. · 03-04-2016 3:28am

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I was always big into the party scene but never really touched anything back then, no E, no acid, no speed.

You were just one of the dancers then.
Partying,without partying.

03-04-2016 3:55am

scopper wrote: »

Legal highs...indeed.

When I was younger I did what we all did drug wise and all was relatively fine. One night I took a pill, a legal high, that I assumed to be an upper but turned out to be a version of LSD-lite (I had taken acid before and it did alter me a bit, but not massively).

Long story short over the next few months I lost all capacity to engage people socially, developed social anxiety disorder and fell into alchoholism and xanax addiction. I managed to get off these after many relapses.

I am OK now, but I will never be the same.

I also know such stories have no effect, but do, at least, keep it in mind.

Sounds very similar to myself. It's astonishing that you can go from being so happy socially to not being able to engage at all. It's great that you're of the beer and Xanax.

scopper wrote: »

Also in reading the thread: unlike OP I took acid only a few times. The common denominator being the legal high.

OP do you remember the effects? My incident was around the same time.

The legal highs felt like crap E without the euphoria. Very sweaty and twitchy eyes. A general hollow feeling. Muck.

Zaph wrote: »

The amount of judgemental people on this thread is unbelievable, you'd swear that they were all whiter than white themselves. The OP isn't looking for sympathy, or anything else for that matter, he's simply recounting his own experience with psychoactive substances in the hope that maybe others won't make the same mistakes he did. Whether it was the one "legal high" he took or the cumulative effect of three years of taking acid that caused the problem is irrelevant. The fact of the matter is that if people go fcuking about with their brain with substances like this some are going to be casualties. I hope that maybe someday you can recover some of your old personality OP.

Thanks, everything you said is correct. It's odd to be judged for something that happened eight years ago where I was my own victim.

I thought people understood in 2016 that a part of recovery is sharing stories and that laws don't make people not do drugs. Stories like mine make people not do them.

jobbridge4life wrote: »

'Eight years ago, my life changed because of X'... How many people with different tales and different causes can say the same thing. I wonder how many people badly and longterm affected by drugs might also have been profoundly affected by other events?

Your life (viewed from the outside) is fine, you have a loving partner you literally say you have a great life with her but something happened eight years ago that you can't move on from. What would be the difference between you for instance and individual who becomes consumed by another happening in their life and can't let go? I wonder is it that drugs changed you or if maybe this was a latent aspect of your personality?

In any case I hope you can move on, it sounds like a fairly classic case of depression. If you haven't already I'd talk to a doctor.

Tough questions to answer but good points. Sure, some people are just predisposed to depression for example.

I've thought about this before and don't think it was the case. I went to such a low in a day and got myself back, albeit a different me over a couple of years.

timthumbni wrote: »

Violence or the threat of violence whilst on acid is a very dodgy thing and can only end up badly. I have experienced a bad trip when much younger. Horrifically bad. It's very difficult to explain to someone who hasn't had one but it's like being in your own personal horror movie with you as the very frightened lead actor. I would advise anyone considering taking acid not to bother as it's just not worth the risk of a bad trip.

Even with the good trips I used to suffer with bad comedowns where I couldn't sleep and went round in circles in my head like a dog chasing its own tail.

I don't think that people realise just how dangerous acid and other drugs can be. Your story should act as a warning to anyone curious. Acid can make wee boys out of the biggest of men.

Have you tried a shrink??? I'm not into that myself but who knows.

Yeah, it's impossible to explain because it's not a feeling that exists normally. It's like the terror is a tangible live thing.. It's all around you. And then you run.. Literally run for miles trying to get away from it.

People definitely don't understand the effects. We used to think Peyote was the crazy one but acid was fine.

I would see a shrink if needed but not for this. "Make me funny and care again" isn't really gonna fly.

PancakeJOE wrote: »

OP your personality will never return the same way,You fried it,This part of your life is about building a new persona,Full of anxiety and veiled confidence the options are join AA and spend you life personal life comfortable with similar people in the same position terribly boring and almost devout choice,Go back on drugs or bite the bullet and start a new,Any time you begin to build up new friendships explain that you were an addict otherwise you will feel like you are hiding a dirty secret and im sure a dirty past as id be amazed if you managed to survive years on drugs without making terrible choices along the way.

Best of luck.

Mad.

But anyways, just so know, AA's success rate isn't actually much or any higher than not using it. And a faith in God is something that is needed for it. More modern support groups with no religious aspect would suit most people better.

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Anyway, we didn't hang around too long there because it was not a good idea and on our way to get a taxi back to our hotel we saw a young man getting an awful hiding (I mean really upsetting to watch anyway but made worse by acid). One of the men involved stuck something sharp into my thigh as we were passing the fight and what started as good night for me quickly turned awful.

Whatever it was it left a mark on my leg and when I checked it back at the hotel I became convinced I was stabbed with a needle. I worked myself into such a state that I ended up in an A&E completely distraught but still laughing away (that's acid for you). The doctor, who just happened to be the spit of Egon from Ghostbusters just to make things more surreal, eventually calmed me down and sent me on my way with a letter to get an injection the next day at an AIDS clinic in the centre of Rome.

Acid is one hell of a drug really and definitely not one to be taken regularly. The even stranger thing about a strong tab is you can never be sure what actually happened and what was tripping :pac:

Screw that... What an awful thought to get into your head while tripping... Makes me queasy thinking about it!

Martypants1 wrote: »

Maybe if people stopped feeling sorry for people who do drugs there might be a stigma attached for doing them?

Why should OP, who is an adult, who partakes in an illegal activity and suffers the consequences that he knew were possible before he did it receive sympathy?

I have 0 respect for people who do drugs.

This thread is full of people saying "Sorry to hear OP" and all this crap.

Sure why not do drugs? If it goes well then you've had a great buzz and if it goes bad then you're just a poor victim..Makes me sick tbh.

After reading a few times, I realise your issue isn't so much with the person with the problem but with other people's sympathy towards them. I'd be interested in hearing how you came to that? Is it something you were raised with and have always thought, something you've come to with your own logic and thought process, a personal event in your life or maybe some event involving someone you know?

Your last line makes it sound like taking drugs is a win-win. Have fun or get lots of sympathy.. It sounds like someone in your life has overplayed the victim card and you now hate it when people sympathise with others?

Or maybe you just hate drugs and that's it. A stance on things that has never helped anyone.

Martypants1 wrote: »

Nothing illegal that has the potential to kill me, and has the potential to put strain on my family or friends no. Or anything that fuels the killing of innocent people on our streets no.

Do you feel sorry for a murder who in a moment of rage killed someone?

You've used the word "illegal" in both of your posts. Do you think legality and morality are perfectly linked?

Wanderer2010 · 03-04-2016 4:05am

An amazing girlfriend OP? Where did you meet her and did she not sense that your personality was a bit off? I'm sorry that drugs seemed to have a massive effect on you but your life can't be that bad if you managed to find such an understanding girlfriend when so many people out there who are trying to meet somebody through conventional means like dating pubs clubs etc end up alone and without a significant other.

My sympathies for such people who say "oh my life is a wreck because of alcohol/drugs/gambling" is instantly diluted when they add "my husband/wife and kids are so understanding" and I end up thinking that your life can't be so terrible if, even in the height of despair, you found someone to share your life with and plenty of these people only meet someone when they are recovering from addiction. Your life is not so bad OP plenty of people out there can't find anyone count yourself lucky.

JackieBauer · 03-04-2016 5:20am

I've read a few pages and I want people to stop thanking posts about people being off their heads on drugs. That's part of the f.ucking problem. People won't admit it but they are BRAGGING about their drug use and people are enabling it by thanking these posts. It's sick, thank god I don't have kids

03-04-2016 6:14am

somuj wrote: »

Speed makes you feel like you are speed. Speed gone. Rapid onset of depression. Will only last the day. Horrible though.

Ach, not really depression as a clinical condition, more of a down which happens with plenty of other substances including alcohol.

Is it possible OP you are overthinking the effects of that night and placing too much emphasis on what you lost and overestimating its role in that? You have in the past referred to a bad night on acid but you didn't seem so vehement that it altered your life over such a prolonged phase. Are you kinda projecting all the bad onto that one decision? It would be natural, I have a great life, beautiful wife, kid...but stress from work, so I slip into "it would be perfect, except for that one fateful decision when I filled in my CAO form".

03-04-2016 6:25am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I'm 28 and am talking about something that happened when I was 19. Of course I blame myself. The effects of stupids decisions can last a long time. I never grasped that.

I'm confused. In the OP you said that you nailed uni and had a good job in a bank. This was before your bad experience at age 19, or after?

I didn't live in Ireland when the head shops were about, but know a guy who used to own one. Was telling me it's the easiest money he ever made. Pretty surprising, as I have never heard anyone say anything positive about them.

Washington Irving · 03-04-2016 6:29am

Martypants1 wrote: »

Maybe if people stopped feeling sorry for people who do drugs there might be a stigma attached for doing them?

Why should OP, who is an adult, who partakes in an illegal activity and suffers the consequences that he knew were possible before he did it receive sympathy?

I have 0 respect for people who do drugs.

This thread is full of people saying "Sorry to hear OP" and all this crap.

Sure why not do drugs? If it goes well then you've had a great buzz and if it goes bad then you're just a poor victim..Makes me sick tbh.

I don't think you fully realise just how harmful this kind of narrow minded opinion can be when it becomes widespread.

Try this:

People have always taken mind altering substances and will continue to do so regardless of legality, what anyone says, what they're told or how you feel about it.

Drugs can be a wonderful tool that can open people up to beautiful new worlds and provide life affirming experiences (That sounded more hippyish than I intended).

The problem lies in lack of education. If people were properly informed as to the risks involved (not the fear mongering stuff even evident in parts of this thread), treated drugs with the respect they require, used some common sense and exercised adequate precautions then we wouldn't have near the amount of problems we have now and have had in the past.

Attitudes to drugs in the western world have slowly been changing for the better, it's only a matter of time before we can finally have a balanced, unbiased, sensible reevalution of the whole thing.

Arsemageddon · 03-04-2016 7:12am

JackieBauer wrote: »

I've read a few pages and I want people to stop thanking posts about people being off their heads on drugs. That's part of the f.ucking problem. People won't admit it but they are BRAGGING about their drug use and people are enabling it by thanking these posts. It's sick, thank god I don't have kids

It isn't sick, what you want is irrelevant.

For many people drugs are or were a big part of their life. The folk who ended up as crack whores are very much the exception to the rule. Posters here who admit to having used drugs aren't bragging, they're being just being honest, and they are the people in the best position to talk with the OP as they can understand what the OP is on about.

If you can see the world in such simplistic black and white terms then whoop-de-do for you, , you are now officially crowned king of the internet moral high ground. Well done!

For a fvck ton of other people taking drugs is or was the norm. Back when I was a young fella I used to horse acid, shrooms and ecstasy into me. Anther poster, Lia Lia stated that she used to go on benders lasting 4-5 days and I used to do the same pretty much every weekend for years.

Unlike the OP I got through it pretty much unscathed, but some of my friends didn't. Some of them ended up dead and some of ended up a bit fvcked in the head, most of them recovered, some of them didn't. However, like most of the people I knocked around with I paid my own way through third level and am working away in the profession I always wanted to do.That's just how life is.

Like most of the people I hung around with I just grew out of drugs. By the age of 22 or 23 I was bored with the lifestyle. For a few years afterwards I didn't really bother going out as I associated having a good time with getting wasted. Getting sh1tfaced drunk every weekend was just a different way of doing the same thing. When I look back now I don't regret a bit of it. hey were the best times of my life, but I have no desire to repeat them. If you have never taken hallucinogens or similar drugs you have no idea what the OP is talking about and your ill-informed sanctimonious contributions to this discussion are pointless.

Autonomous Cowherd · 03-04-2016 8:04am

Hi OP

You could have pinpointed many other experiences as being the 'before' and 'after', that marked off now from a time when you felt inexplicably happy. You could have had an accident, experienced bereavement, seen something terrible, and any of these could mark the point for you today beyond which you have not felt so carefree. I guess in older times this might have been called an existential crises, and would have led to some spiritual investigation on your behalf. Couldn't hurt now either

As for the moment in time when you were ''tripping balls'' and experienced ''pure terror'' - such a moment is likely to have become engraved in the neuro-chemistry of the brain, forming the sort of groove that can cause PTSD, or such-like. This kind of trauma can rewire a brain, though neuro-plasticity means no rewiring aught to be considered permanent. Consider some cognitive behavioural therapy, NLP, or best of all an appointment with a Human Givens therapist who will guide you through the Rewind Technique which can help greatly with re-engineering the amgydala's habitual response.

Best of Luck.

PS I'm not involved in any of these areas of treatments, and have received no kick-backs for mentioning them

(unfortunately)

timthumbni · 03-04-2016 8:19am

Arsemageddon wrote: »

It isn't sick, what you want is irrelevant.

For many people drugs are or were a big part of their life. The folk who ended up as crack whores are very much the exception to the rule. Posters here who admit to having used drugs aren't bragging, they're being just being honest, and they are the people in the best position to talk with the OP as they can understand what the OP is on about.

If you can see the world in such simplistic black and white terms then whoop-de-do for you, , you are now officially crowned king of the internet moral high ground. Well done!

For a fvck ton of other people taking drugs is or was the norm. Back when I was a young fella I used to horse acid, shrooms and ecstasy into me. Anther poster, Lia Lia stated that she used to go on benders lasting 4-5 days and I used to do the same pretty much every weekend for years.

Unlike the OP I got through it pretty much unscathed, but some of my friends didn't. Some of them ended up dead and some of ended up a bit fvcked in the head, most of them recovered, some of them didn't. However, like most of the people I knocked around with I paid my own way through third level and am working away in the profession I always wanted to do.That's just how life is.

Like most of the people I hung around with I just grew out of drugs. By the age of 22 or 23 I was bored with the lifestyle. For a few years afterwards I didn't really bother going out as I associated having a good time with getting wasted. Getting sh1tfaced drunk every weekend was just a different way of doing the same thing. When I look back now I don't regret a bit of it. hey were the best times of my life, but I have no desire to repeat them. If you have never taken hallucinogens or similar drugs you have no idea what the OP is talking about and your ill-informed sanctimonious contributions to this discussion are pointless.

I agree. I haven't read anyone "bragging" about drug use on here. Far from it in fact, if I was young and read this thread it would hopefully make me reconsider taking drugs (in this case acid or whatever)

I found the op post to be very honest and quite sad in its own way. It hit a chord with me as I have had my own issues. I really don't see how anyone could take this thread to be about bragging rights.

timthumbni · 03-04-2016 8:22am

Martypants1 wrote: »

Do you feel sorry for a murder who in a moment of rage killed someone?

This is a completely ridiculous and uncalled for comment. I hope in the cold light of day you can see this.

Ben Gadot · 03-04-2016 8:56am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

When I was younger, I was the funniest person in the room. I was successful, nailed uni and had a good job in a bank. I had a great personality.

I had three years of amazing times on acid while doing everything I needed to do. Then I had a mad night where I ended up taking some "legal" drugs and acid at the same time. Chaos, terror and tears ensued and my personality changed forever. I couldn't look at people for months.

I spent about six months trying to get my old personality back. Didn't work. So I left Ireland.
I traveled around Asia. Didn't work. I could manage to be mad but not fun and nice.
In the end, I decided to not go to Australia because I knew my head was screwed so I spent a few months more in Asia learning how to be social and make friends again. Which used to be so easy. It kind of worked.

Five or six years later, my personality is still a bit "off". I've never gotten back my interest in people. I have an amazing girlfriend and we have a great life but I miss the old me. I wish she could see and experience how much life and energy I had, and lost that night.

I'm fine. I can laugh. But the difference is black and white.

Sounds like you've come out the other end and done well for yourself. Many people who experienced what you have didn't get the same fortune.

So be thankful for where you've got yourself to, and appreciate the reasons your girlfriend is with you for.

Many people think they were better craic when they spent their younger years off their head. To that I'd just ask you to ask the people that love you what they thought of you back then.

charlietheminxx · 03-04-2016 9:00am

I was really sad to hear your story OP. Something similar happened to a cousin of mine... She took a seriously bad trip and despite being a bright, educated young woman she never really got her life back on track. She is in her mid thirties and hasn't been in a proper relationship since it happened. She was such a warm and lovely person and now seems quite shy and awkward whenever I see her (which isn't often). I would love to reach out to her and offer my support but I am not supposed to know about what happened because she's consumed by the shame.

I would never do acid, my mind is too dark and analytical for it to have ever appealed to me... Even before what happened to my cousin. I have friends who do it though and if something like this happened to one of them, I would be devastated.

Thanks for your honesty OP. It's always good to see a first hand account shared because so many people don't realise that the risks are so real and so very life changing. For what it's worth, I think you have to focus on developing the you that you are now for the future instead of trying to recapture elements of the you of the past. We can only ever move forwards in life.

Eight years ago, my life changed because of drugs. My story.

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