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Eight years ago, my life changed because of drugs. My story.

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    #62
    the evasion_kid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,740 ✭✭✭the evasion_kid


    I've abused drugs for years,I've seen friends lose their minds after doing E's and were never right after it,others are still at it with no noticeable effects,however the drug that knocked me for six was alcohol,I'm actually afraid of the power of the bottle after my last stint.


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    #63
    rubadub
    Registered Users Posts: 32,379 ✭✭✭✭rubadub


    diomed wrote: »
    Why did you take drugs?
    Are you genuinely that fucking ignorant?

    Have you ever taken any psychoactive substance at all? coffee, tea, alcohol, cigarettes? No doubt someone you know has so ask them.

    20Cent wrote: »
    Bit like drinking 10 pints then blaming the burger on the way home for feeling sick the next day.
    Not really, we have no idea what the legal drug was, nor the illegal one for that matter as I guess he did not use a test kit.

    Many of the legal drugs are considered far more damaging than the illegal ones. The problem nowadays is many drugs are very potent and can be passed off as acid, like NBOMe

    Lights On wrote: »
    Moderation is key, like everything. Acid is the kind of thing you only need to be doing once or twice a year at most if you're taking it.
    Dosage is also important. Many people are taking LSD every few days or daily. Albert Hofmann was said to be frequently dosing like this right up until the end.

    It is getting more recognised as a treatment for depression too. It has other medicinal uses, like helping with alcohol withdrawl and treatment of cluster/suicide headaches.


    How LSD Microdosing Became the Hot New Business Trip

    Regular doses of acid have become the creativity enhancer of choice for some professionals


    Mod-Banned


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    #64
    scopper
    Closed Accounts Posts: 870 ✭✭✭scopper


    Legal highs...indeed.

    When I was younger I did what we all did drug wise and all was relatively fine. One night I took a pill, a legal high, that I assumed to be an upper but turned out to be a version of LSD-lite (I had taken acid before and it did alter me a bit, but not massively).

    Long story short over the next few months I lost all capacity to engage people socially, developed social anxiety disorder and fell into alchoholism and xanax addiction. I managed to get off these after many relapses.

    I am OK now, but I will never be the same.

    I also know such stories have no effect, but do, at least, keep it in mind.


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    #65
    scopper
    Closed Accounts Posts: 870 ✭✭✭scopper


    Also in reading the thread: unlike OP I took acid only a few times. The common denominator being the legal high.

    OP do you remember the effects? My incident was around the same time.


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    #66
    Zaph
    Registered Users, Subscribers Posts: 47,283 ✭✭✭✭Zaph


    The amount of judgemental people on this thread is unbelievable, you'd swear that they were all whiter than white themselves. The OP isn't looking for sympathy, or anything else for that matter, he's simply recounting his own experience with psychoactive substances in the hope that maybe others won't make the same mistakes he did. Whether it was the one "legal high" he took or the cumulative effect of three years of taking acid that caused the problem is irrelevant. The fact of the matter is that if people go fcuking about with their brain with substances like this some are going to be casualties. I hope that maybe someday you can recover some of your old personality OP.


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    #67
    Lia_lia
    Registered Users Posts: 6,691 ✭✭✭Lia_lia


    I've never taken acid, always been afraid of having a "bad trip". My cousin took it when she was about 14 and had to be airlifted to hospital. Don't what happened to her really. Bad batch I was told!

    I know what you mean about the legal drugs. I took an awful lot of mdma in my late teens/early twenties. Never really had a bad effect on me unless I went on a 4 or 5 day bender (ugh the thoughts of that now!) and felt very depressed for a week or so after. Also caused me to lose lots of weight. However, I took that BZP sh*te a couple of times and genuinely thought I was going die after it. Ended up at a hospital tent at a festival from it and suffered anxiety for a good while afterwards. Think it's illegal now.


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    #68
    jobbridge4life
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,759 ✭✭✭jobbridge4life


    Deleted User wrote: »
    When I was younger, I was the funniest person in the room. I was successful, nailed uni and had a good job in a bank. I had a great personality.

    I had three years of amazing times on acid while doing everything I needed to do. Then I had a mad night where I ended up taking some "legal" drugs and acid at the same time. Chaos, terror and tears ensued and my personality changed forever. I couldn't look at people for months.

    I spent about six months trying to get my old personality back. Didn't work. So I left Ireland.
    I traveled around Asia. Didn't work. I could manage to be mad but not fun and nice.
    In the end, I decided to not go to Australia because I knew my head was screwed so I spent a few months more in Asia learning how to be social and make friends again. Which used to be so easy. It kind of worked.

    Five or six years later, my personality is still a bit "off". I've never gotten back my interest in people. I have an amazing girlfriend and we have a great life but I miss the old me. I wish she could see and experience how much life and energy I had, and lost that night.

    I'm fine. I can laugh. But the difference is black and white.

    Okay I have sympathy for you, unlike some others on this thread, and irrespective of whether you are seeking it or not.

    Obligatory BUT

    'Eight years ago, my life changed because of X'... How many people with different tales and different causes can say the same thing. I wonder how many people badly and longterm affected by drugs might also have been profoundly affected by other events?

    Your life (viewed from the outside) is fine, you have a loving partner you literally say you have a great life with her but something happened eight years ago that you can't move on from. What would be the difference between you for instance and individual who becomes consumed by another happening in their life and can't let go? I wonder is it that drugs changed you or if maybe this was a latent aspect of your personality?

    In any case I hope you can move on, it sounds like a fairly classic case of depression. If you haven't already I'd talk to a doctor.


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    #69
    LDN_Irish
    Registered Users Posts: 1,188 ✭✭✭LDN_Irish


    I very much agree with Jobridge above. I'm not a pro, so this is only based on stuff ive read. But it's possible you have depression stemming from PTSD caused by the night you've told us about. If you haven't, you should try some kind of psychotherapy. Don't write yourself yet mate!


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    #70
    timthumbni
    Registered Users Posts: 4,845 ✭✭✭timthumbni


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Saying that is not how you stop a kid taking drugs. It just doesn't work and people better than all of us take drugs.


    Getting locked in bathroom with a broken door. It took ages for friends to kick it in. Then I was getting it back together when an angry as fuk guy arrived and had to be pulled away from me because he thought I was coming onto his girlfriend. I know I was just lying on my back with people sitting around.
    It was terrifying.. I've never felt terror like it. Earth shattering fear. I just can't express just how bad acid can make an emotion like that feel. It's why I was crying a few hours later.


    Yep. And they think their children never will either.. "Drugs are mad m'kay." and the problem will disappear? My parents still don't know.



    That's pretty full on. How's things now?

    Violence or the threat of violence whilst on acid is a very dodgy thing and can only end up badly. I have experienced a bad trip when much younger. Horrifically bad. It's very difficult to explain to someone who hasn't had one but it's like being in your own personal horror movie with you as the very frightened lead actor. I would advise anyone considering taking acid not to bother as it's just not worth the risk of a bad trip.

    Even with the good trips I used to suffer with bad comedowns where I couldn't sleep and went round in circles in my head like a dog chasing its own tail.

    I don't think that people realise just how dangerous acid and other drugs can be. Your story should act as a warning to anyone curious. Acid can make wee boys out of the biggest of men.

    Have you tried a shrink??? I'm not into that myself but who knows.


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    #71
    arayess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,707 ✭✭✭arayess


    having taken drugs for over 20 years I think the legal highs from the headshops were the worst drugs ever.
    took them once and never again.

    many of my peers agree - they are the spawn of satan.


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    #72
    LDN_Irish
    Registered Users Posts: 1,188 ✭✭✭LDN_Irish


    arayess wrote: »
    having taken drugs for over 20 years I think the legal highs from the headshops were the worst drugs ever.
    took them once and never again.

    many of my peers agree - they are the spawn of satan.

    I'm the same. Never experienced a comedown like it. Not aimed at yourself in particular, but I really think "research chemicals" is a better name for them. I'd never use myself as a test case again and I got away extremely lightly. I had an 8 day come down and felt hard done by it. It could've been a whole lot longer and a while lot worse.


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    #73
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Oh yeah, the head shop stuff was nuts. 10 years back we would buy lots of it and start into it on a Friday. By Saturday night we were fairly wrecked. Can't say I had any bad experience worse than paranoia while on it, or puking. But saw a few go off their heads.


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    #74
    Skylinehead
    Registered Users Posts: 11,690 ✭✭✭✭Skylinehead


    TheHillOfDoom wrote: »
    Zaph - I had a thread less than a week ago in relation to being drugged. I was reprimanded publicly for being aggressive (I mentioned aggression to whoever had drugged me). You completely villified me when I complained about how I was treated on thread by moderators. I'm not sure that you're the best person to be commenting on this thread. You seem to pick and chose your causes. My reasons for posting were exactly the same as this OP. I wanted to get a message across. I know that you're Zaph, Category Moderator extraordinaire, but don't let the little bit of 'power' go to your head.

    Mod: Drop it.


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    #75
    endacl
    Registered Users Posts: 22,249 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    Zaph wrote: »
    The amount of judgemental people on this thread is unbelievable, you'd swear that they were all whiter than white themselves. The OP isn't looking for sympathy, or anything else for that matter, he's simply recounting his own experience with psychoactive substances in the hope that maybe others won't make the same mistakes he did. Whether it was the one "legal high" he took or the cumulative effect of three years of taking acid that caused the problem is irrelevant. The fact of the matter is that if people go fcuking about with their brain with substances like this some are going to be casualties. I hope that maybe someday you can recover some of your old personality OP.

    Read the first few replies, and headed to the last page to post exactly that.

    Hope things work out for you OP.


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    #76
    jobbridge4life
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,759 ✭✭✭jobbridge4life


    It is worth pointing out, even if its unlikely to be popular, that generalisations such as 'my life changed because of drugs' and 'the head shop stuff was nuts' are not conducive to an intelligent debate or the formulation of informed and effective public policy.

    When the OP refers to 'drugs', for instance, he is not talking about a one of encounter with cannabis, LSD or even the fairly amorphous category of 'legal highs'. He is talking about fairly extensive use of acid, and mixing this with other drugs. It is also important to remember that all of this happened in a place where the government, who are so concerned with our health they want to regulate our consumption to the point that a chipper has to tell you explicitly that the half pounder burger with extra cheese and bacon is full of calories, willfully and in spite of the evidence, chooses not to regulate.

    It needs to be said because stories like the OP's and some from others on this thread are regularly, and sadly effectively, trotted out to justify prohibition and Government negligence in this regard. These stories are consequence of such a policy and not a reason to embrace it further.


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    #77
    wandatowell
    Registered Users Posts: 8,435 ✭✭✭wandatowell


    It's always great to learn from other people's bad experiences.

    When I was in first year my school had this fella come down from Dublin to talk about his experiences on drugs and what it did to his life.

    I swear that talk had a hugely positive effect on my life. It scared me the **** off drugs.


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    #78
    jobbridge4life
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,759 ✭✭✭jobbridge4life


    wandatowell wrote: »
    It's always great to learn from other people's bad experiences.

    When I was in first year my school had this fella come down from Dublin to talk about his experiences on drugs and what it did to his life.

    I swear that talk had a hugely positive effect on my life. It scared me the **** off drugs.

    I suppose you put down the coffee and swore off painkillers?


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    #79
    Martypants1
    Site Banned Posts: 806 ✭✭✭Martypants1


    Read the whole thread and all I know is drugs are bad, which anyone who doesn't know this has much more serious issues than drug use anyways.


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    #80
    mynameis905
    Closed Accounts Posts: 754 ✭✭✭mynameis905


    TheHillOfDoom wrote: »
    Unfortunately I believe it is. My brother is a doctor and warned me at the time that ecstasy burns the receptors (i.e the little connections that pass serotonin on). I feel lucky that I had a 'bad buzz', as the first time was so good as to be completely addictive.

    A doctor of what exactly? Bro science?


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    #81
    wandatowell
    Registered Users Posts: 8,435 ✭✭✭wandatowell


    jobbridge4life wrote: »
    I suppose you put down the coffee and swore off painkillers?

    What other drugs are there???


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    #82
    PancakeJOE
    Registered Users Posts: 14 ✭PancakeJOE


    OP your personality will never return the same way,You fried it,This part of your life is about building a new persona,Full of anxiety and veiled confidence the options are join AA and spend you life personal life comfortable with similar people in the same position terribly boring and almost devout choice,Go back on drugs or bite the bullet and start a new,Any time you begin to build up new friendships explain that you were an addict otherwise you will feel like you are hiding a dirty secret and im sure a dirty past as id be amazed if you managed to survive years on drugs without making terrible choices along the way.

    Best of luck.


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    #83
    sabat
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,896 ✭✭✭sabat


    wandatowell wrote: »

    I swear that talk had a hugely positive effect on my life. It scared me the **** off drugs.


    I think this is part of the problem-the idea of trying to scare adolescents with catastrophic tales ("I ended up sucking dicks for a rock of crack") is flawed because it's unrepresentative of general experiences and appears so far removed from the actuality ("I smoked a few joints with my mates, best laugh ever") that it just sounds untruthful.
    My own take on it is that sustained recreational drug use more than likely won't make you a smackhead or basketcase but probably will mean you don't do as well in life as you could have.


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    #84
    Arsemageddon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,129 ✭✭✭Arsemageddon


    PancakeJOE wrote: »
    OP your personality will never return the same way,You fried it,This part of your life is about building a new persona,Full of anxiety and veiled confidence the options are join AA and spend you life personal life comfortable with similar people in the same position terribly boring and almost devout choice,Go back on drugs or bite the bullet and start a new,Any time you begin to build up new friendships explain that you were an addict otherwise you will feel like you are hiding a dirty secret and im sure a dirty past as id be amazed if you managed to survive years on drugs without making terrible choices along the way.

    Best of luck.

    Well, that has to be the sh1test attempt at 'advice' the OP is likely to get.


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    #85
    LDN_Irish
    Registered Users Posts: 1,188 ✭✭✭LDN_Irish


    Arsemageddon wrote: »
    Well, that has to be the sh1test attempt at 'advice' the OP is likely to get.

    But funniest post on the thread. So a bit of light relief at least.


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    #86
    PancakeJOE
    Registered Users Posts: 14 ✭PancakeJOE


    Arsemageddon wrote: »
    Well, that has to be the sh1test attempt at 'advice' the OP is likely to get.

    Reality bro what am i supposed to tell him 'dont worry it will be all right,You will be back to yourself in no time despite years of being clean already and still feeling like sh!t' ;-P


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    #87
    Arsemageddon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,129 ✭✭✭Arsemageddon


    PancakeJOE wrote: »
    Reality bro what am i supposed to tell him 'dont worry it will be all right,You will be back to yourself in no time despite years of being clean already and still feeling like sh!t' ;-P

    If you have nothing useful to say then don't say anything at all.

    There's nothing more useless than advice from an amateur psychiatrist who thinks they know what they are talking about. You seem not to have even bothered to read what the OP has written.


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    #88
    PancakeJOE
    Registered Users Posts: 14 ✭PancakeJOE


    Arsemageddon wrote: »
    If you have nothing useful to say then don't say anything at all.

    There's nothing more useless than advice from an amateur psychiatrist.

    Speaking as a former addict who's living through it,Its AA 101 The OP described the experience of most former addicts The choices are AA,More Drugs or build a new persona and personal life.

    I went for the third option.


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    #89
    Arsemageddon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,129 ✭✭✭Arsemageddon


    PancakeJOE wrote: »
    Speaking as a former addict who's living through it,Its AA 101 The OP described the experience of most former addicts The choices are AA,More Drugs or build a new persona and personal life.

    I went for the third option.

    The OP said he was fond of acid when he was younger, same as many other people are. He also said he took up some head-shop muck that flipped his head and he hasn't been the same since.

    At no point did he say he was an addict. I seriously doubt he has any intention of ever taking anything again.

    If AA or NA worked for you then that's great, I'm happy for ya. But your advice is like trying to stick a square peg into a round hole.


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    #90
    buried
    Registered Users Posts: 9,693 ✭✭✭buried


    TheHillOfDoom wrote: »
    Unfortunately I believe it is. My brother is a doctor and warned me at the time that ecstasy burns the receptors (i.e the little connections that pass serotonin on). I feel lucky that I had a 'bad buzz', as the first time was so good as to be completely addictive.

    Brain receptor's? Anytime I have the misfortune to witness one second of any TV Soap opera, the receptors in my brain get napalmed like a south eastern Asian jungle in the 1970's, nevermind getting burnt. I could even get addicted to this soap stuff and sit there every night glawping and drooling over 4-5 continuous hours of the stuff. But nobody is going to be banning the eastender emmerdale farm coronation street for mine or anybody else's behalf or benefit anytime soon.

    "You have disgraced yourselves again" - W. B. Yeats



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    #91
    mynameis905
    Closed Accounts Posts: 754 ✭✭✭mynameis905


    PancakeJOE wrote: »
    Speaking as a former addict who's living through it,Its AA 101 The OP described the experience of most former addicts The choices are AA,More Drugs or build a new persona and personal life.

    I went for the third option.

    He took LSD ffs. It's not remotely addictive.

    OP needs a good doctor and a therapist or psychiatrist if necessary, not AA's unique brand of quackery and pseudoscientific mumbo jumbo.


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