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Lame or embarrassing things you fapped to before you had internet porn

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Comments

  • #1052
    fryup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,067 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    branie2 wrote: »
    How about the Argos catalogue, with sunbeds and bikini models?

    argos?? we didn't have it back in my day (feel old saying that) :o


  • #1053
    Hangdogroad
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,256 ✭✭✭Hangdogroad


    Any 60's/70's movies that had scenes of women in short skirts and knee high boots. This would have been in the 80's when you'd never see anything as exotic, used to flick through old copies of National Geographic for the same reason hoping to spot some tasty retro totty.


  • #1054
    Edgware
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,874 ✭✭✭Edgware


    Hangdogroad wrote: »
    Any 60's/70's movies that had scenes of women in short skirts and knee high boots. This would have been in the 80's when you'd never see anything as exotic, used to flick through old copies of National Geographic for the same reason hoping to spot some tasty retro totty.
    Those Polynesian women with a bone through their nose ( no pun intended) were a real turn on


  • #1055
    ohnonotgmail
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,513 ✭✭✭✭ohnonotgmail


    Copies of H+E found in a hedge? would that count as lame or embarrassing?


  • #1056
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,305 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    I'm half expecting someone to put up a thread with pictures from the Family Album catalogues :o


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  • #1057
    Edgware
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,874 ✭✭✭Edgware


    branie2 wrote: »
    I'm half expecting someone to put up a thread with pictures from the Family Album catalogues :o
    .
    Can't because the pages are stuck together although 65 year old Dympna looked very nice in that flowery frock which accentuated her spunk belly


  • #1058
    jaxxx
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,230 ✭✭✭jaxxx


    Eurotrash.

    I have no shame :pac:


  • #1059
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,016 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    Edgware wrote: »
    .
    Can't because the pages are stuck together although 65 year old Dympna looked very nice in that flowery frock which accentuated her spunk belly

    November’s ‘RSVP’ magazine has a spread on Maura Derrane, including a shot with her sisters.

    Maybe there should be a ‘Lame or Embarrassing Things to Fapped to sInce you’ve had Internet Porn’.

    She some woman though and I think people are really missing something by not “engaging” with the print media.

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



  • #1060
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,305 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    Edgware wrote: »
    .
    Can't because the pages are stuck together although 65 year old Dympna looked very nice in that flowery frock which accentuated her spunk belly

    They could carefully be unstuck


  • #1061
    daveorourke77
    Closed Accounts Posts: 342 ✭✭daveorourke77


    My french teacher.

    I had a raging horn for her.


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  • #1062
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,305 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    Ooh La La!


  • #1063
    daveorourke77
    Closed Accounts Posts: 342 ✭✭daveorourke77


    branie2 wrote: »
    Ooh La La!

    More like ooooooooooooooooh la la


  • #1064
    Dr. Bre
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,741 ✭✭✭Dr. Bre


    branie2 wrote: »
    Ooh La La!

    Goldfapp...


  • #1065
    fryup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,067 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    ohnonotgmail wrote: »
    Copies of H+E found in a hedge? would that count as lame or embarrassing?

    no it would count as lucky back in the day


  • #1066
    Edgware
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,874 ✭✭✭Edgware


    News of the World reporting on naughty school girls was always good for a pull


  • #1067
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,305 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    Edgware wrote: »
    News of the World reporting on naughty school girls was always good for a pull

    And Page 3 girls in the Sun


  • #1068
    JupiterKid
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 12,887 Mod ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    Back in the early 90s Eurotrash never failed to display some continental flesh and of course Channel 4 was where it was at - post 9pm watershed French film with lots of smutty shenanigans, full frontals and daring duos...

    Someone here mentioned Prickly Heat, hosted my Mr Supercamp Julian Clary - very very hot guys and gals in skimpy speedos and bikinis - watching that after smoking a spliff could get you in a mood to bash the bishop. :D


  • #1069
    Edgware
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,874 ✭✭✭Edgware


    branie2 wrote: »
    And Page 3 girls in the Sun

    Linda Lusardi, Sam Fox. All gone now, ruined by the P.C. gang


  • #1070
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,305 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    I've heard of Sam Fox, but not Linda


  • #1071
    Ragnar Lothbrok
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,860 ✭✭✭Ragnar Lothbrok


    branie2 wrote: »
    I've heard of Sam Fox, but not Linda

    Oh Jesus, Linda was hot.

    Also Corinne Russell was a particular favourite Page 3 Girl of mine. She was also in an advert on TV for Boddington's Ale (I think) and every time that ad was shown, I'd have to dash away upstairs for a Wafty Crank.


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  • #1072
    Edgware
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,874 ✭✭✭Edgware


    branie2 wrote: »
    I've heard of Sam Fox, but not Linda

    Shes was an absolute beaut. She married some Scouse actor out of Brookside


  • #1073
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,305 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    It's a pity there are no Family Album catalogue appreciation pages on facebook, so we can 'relive' memories


  • #1074
    fire_man
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,028 ✭✭✭fire_man


    The Sunday World!


  • #1075
    Edgware
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,874 ✭✭✭Edgware


    The ginger one in Girls Aloud


  • #1076
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,305 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    That's Gerri Halliwell


  • #1077
    Edgware
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,874 ✭✭✭Edgware


    branie2 wrote: »
    That's Gerri Halliwell
    No its not. Geri was Spice Girl. Nicola Robert is her name


  • #1078
    ohnonotgmail
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,513 ✭✭✭✭ohnonotgmail


    Edgware wrote: »
    No its not. Geri was Spice Girl. Nicola Robert is her name

    given how much stick she used to get over her appearance she very much belongs in this thread. I quite fancied her myself though i have to say.


  • #1079
    lapua20grain
    Registered Users Posts: 822 ✭✭✭lapua20grain


    Edgware wrote: »
    Linda Lusardi, Sam Fox. All gone now, ruined by the P.C. gang
    Good old Maria Whittaker as well


  • #1080
    lapua20grain
    Registered Users Posts: 822 ✭✭✭lapua20grain


    The aul red triangle movies on channel 4


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  • #1081
    Rikand
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,421 ✭✭✭✭Rikand


    fire_man wrote: »
    The Sunday World!

    And the star and the sun and the mirror from way back in the day. I can still remember from a time when Wimbledon was on, the blondy page 3 girl wore nothing but a tennis racket and she had the most savage set of norks. The image is forever imprinted on my brain for the best possible reasons

    "Anyone for tennis?"


  • #1082
    Tired Gardener
    Closed Accounts Posts: 456 ✭✭Tired Gardener


    Can't beat a bit of the old furious **** to Songs of Praise.


  • #1083
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,305 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    Rikand wrote: »
    And the star and the sun and the mirror from way back in the day. I can still remember from a time when Wimbledon was on, the blondy page 3 girl wore nothing but a tennis racket and she had the most savage set of norks. The image is forever imprinted on my brain for the best possible reasons

    "Anyone for tennis?"

    Did she have strawberries and cream with her?


  • #1084
    Rikand
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,421 ✭✭✭✭Rikand


    branie2 wrote: »
    Did she have strawberries and cream with her?

    Thankfully no. At 15 I didn't want anything left to the imagination


  • #1085
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,305 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    A scene from Toys - Robin Williams' character's girlfriend taking off her bra


  • #1086
    sligojoek
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,420 ✭✭✭✭sligojoek


    Jamie Lee Curtis in 'Trading Places'.


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  • #1087
    ohnonotgmail
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,513 ✭✭✭✭ohnonotgmail


    sligojoek wrote: »
    Jamie Lee Curtis in 'Trading Places'.

    Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies.


  • #1088
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,305 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    That bra and panties!


  • #1089
    ohnonotgmail
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,513 ✭✭✭✭ohnonotgmail


    branie2 wrote: »
    That bra and panties!

    that rack.


  • #1090
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,305 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    A woman in a yellow swimsuit in a Cornetto ad


  • #1091
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,305 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    ohnonotgmail wrote: »
    Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies.

    Jamie Lee Curtis in Mother's boys


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  • #1092
    Professor Genius
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 391 ✭✭Professor Genius


    branie2 wrote: »
    Jamie Lee Curtis in Mother's boys

    I’m having my breakfast Kate !


  • #1093
    Ipso
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,995 ✭✭✭Ipso


    ohnonotgmail wrote: »
    that rack.

    Makes you want to sit up and beg for buttermilk.


  • #1094
    Rikand
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,421 ✭✭✭✭Rikand


    Ipso wrote: »
    Makes you want to sit up and beg for buttermilk.

    B7HLHSk.gif


  • #1095
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,305 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    Sally Geeson in the film version of Bless This House on video.


  • #1096
    Cee-Jay-Cee
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,235 ✭✭✭✭Cee-Jay-Cee


    I think I answered on this thread before but couldn’t be arsed trying to find it so will reply again.

    My dad was a keen photographer and his subscriptions to Practical Photography and several other photography magazines meant I had a wealth of porn as a teenager. There were regular articles and pictures featuring totally nude models which I’m sure my father never really looked at and only read the tech features so I made sure they got plenty of attention.


  • #1097
    fryup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,067 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »
    There were regular articles and pictures featuring totally nude models which I’m sure my father never really looked at and only read the tech features so I made sure they got plenty of attention.

    ya right :pac:

    pull the other one (no pun intended)


  • #1098
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,305 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    Good one, Fryup!


  • #1099
    the purple tin
    Registered Users Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    The Argos catalogue :o
    The photos in the exercise equiptment and electric shower sections were always very fruitful.


  • #1100
    Calibos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,810 ✭✭✭Calibos


    I know I've posted this in this thread years ago but theres a new generation to tell!!

    Friend across the road shows me a photo of his mum topless sunbathing thinking its a great laugh. I'm a horny 13 year old at the time. Next time I was over in his house and left alone I took the photo because his mother was a ride in her youth. Sure I'd put it back the next day after I'd.....'stared at it a bit at home'.....except I couldn't!! I had put the photo under my mattress and when I went to retrieve it it slipped between the panels of my box-room built in bed. There was no way to retrieve it without demolishing the built in bed. Eventually I forgot about it and stopped stressing about it when my friend never reported the photo missing :D

    A few years later having long ago moved house I remembered the incident and came to the realisation, that at some point that bedroom would have been renovated and the current owners would find a topless photo of their now 60-70 year old neighbour across the road and wondered WTF?!?!? :D:D

    Second funny neighbour story is not an embarrassing Fap story but worth telling. Coming back from the pub late one night I see the next door neighbours daughter riding her boyfriend Reverse Cowgirl style. How?? Magnolia blinds on the window, bedside lamp on the far side of the bedroom casting a silhouette of the daughter onto the blinds. Knew it was reverse cowgirl because knowing their Semi-D was a reverse image of mine, I knew where the headboard of the bed had to be and she was bouncing up and down with her boobies facing away from the headboard. LOL :D


  • #1101
    partyguinness
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,203 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    We had a satellite dish with Sky etc from about 1990 with a lot of German channels that showed 1970s German soft porn from say 11pm onwards. On a good night I could have 3-4 channels on the go flicking away with smoke coming off the remote.

    Then you had the nights when you had 10mins freeview on the Adult Channel before it encrypted- Jaysus how I prayed and prayed for them to forget to encrypt just once. Never happened.

    I ruined myself one night and was ill prepared with no tissue. Had to navigate the stairs dripping.

    Would always make sure to change the channel back to Sky News and the recall button to RTE to cover my tracks.

    In the mid 90s parents installed a second TV in the patio with the satellite linked to it. Now this was circa 1993-94 so things were not too advanced. But the idea was you could watch RTE etc in the patio but it also meant that whatever was on the "main" tv on the Sky box in the sitting room would show on the patio TV- you could only change the satellite channels from the sitting room.

    Anyway, dickhead here was flicking away one Saturday afternoon and it was only around 3-4pm but I stopped on one of the German channels and there was this busty blonde babe running across a beach in slow motion and fully naked. I was loving it but forgot myself- sure wasn't the TV in the patio on at the same time and exactly the same screen popped up in front of my parents and younger sisters.

    No one said anything to me until later when my bitch oldest sister goes: "Oh we all saw what you were watching earlier" Big smug bitchy look on her face. A good 25 years ago but still embarrassed.


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