Lame or embarrassing things you fapped to before you had internet porn

MetalDog

Brain Stroking wrote: »

Maeve Binchy novels. "And he slipped inside like a seal would into the sea"

With a heave and a splash?

posturingpat

The women in the wrestling. Stacy Kiebler and Trish Stratus and the like, not too embarassing i suppose but definitely one of the key reasons i followed the wrestling for so long.

There was one night Channel 4 were showing a ppv and i set the vcr to record it but accidentally set it to record an hour early and to my delight it recorded and hour of some french soft porn, i must've wanked a river full of stuff out of me over the next year to it and all my friends got a lend of the wrestling video as well

posturingpat

posturingpat wrote: »

The women in the wrestling. Stacy Kiebler and Trish Stratus and the like, not too embarassing i suppose but definitely one of the key reasons i followed the wrestling for so long.

There was one night Channel 4 were showing a ppv and i set the vcr to record it but accidentally set it to record an hour early and to my delight it recorded and hour of some french soft porn, i must've wanked a river full of stuff out of me over the next year to it and all my friends got a lend of the wrestling video as well

what a way with words, ha ha ha pure poetry so it is!!:D

somesoldiers

posturingpat wrote: »

i must've wanked a river full of stuff out of me over the next year to D

A new version of Justin Timberlake's song -"**** me a river"

Ferrari3600

Moved apartment a few years back and threw out most of my lads' mags (I never had a huge collection).

I kept one though, a Maxim featuring the delightful Emma Ledden.

fryup

Emma Ledden?? thought she was a good convent girl?

did she show any bush?

Ferrari3600

fryup wrote: »

did she show any bush?

No! I don't think most of the commercial mens' magazines 'showed bush' as a general rule. I think they differentiated themselves from Playboy on that (somewhat spurious) basis.

somesoldiers

I still have the 2 issues of The Sun in my desk in work from when Claire Tully, the 1st or only Page 3 Irish model. 10 years old this year, only time I ever bought that rag. Whatever became of her?

Ferrari3600

somesoldiers wrote: »

I still have the 2 issues of The Sun in my desk in work from when Claire Tully, the 1st or only Page 3 Irish model. 10 years old this year, only time I ever bought that rag. Whatever became of her?

Never heard of her but apparently had a degree in biochemistry so smarter than the average bear. Most recent article on Google (from journalist of the year, Niamh Bore-on) suggests she has moved to a new phase in her life.

ohnonotgmail

somesoldiers wrote: »

I still have the 2 issues of The Sun in my desk in work from when Claire Tully, the 1st or only Page 3 model. 10 years old this year, only time I ever bought that rag. Whatever became of her?

a search of her name brings up this hilarious bio

Claire Tully gained a first class degree in Biochemistry from Trinity College, Dublin, and was accepted to research 'HIV-host interactions and immunodominance as seen in natural infection, specifically HIV-specific, HLA A*0201 restricted immunodominant cytotoxic T-cells' for a D Phil at Oxford. However, after finding that, as a non-UK resident, she was not eligible for funding, she took to getting her tits out for a living instead. She plans to return to academia

Bateman

Disclosure (the novel) :-)

whiskeyman

Rumpy Pumpy wrote: »

Reading the Star as a 14 year old. It said Gillian Anderson was going to star in a movie with nude scenes. Developed a boner you could hang the wet duffel coats of a trad band off.

All lies. Tabloids.

Maybe it said she did star in one?
Before she was famous, she was in an unknown film called The Turning that has a brief topless shot of her.
I scoured all the videoshops in Dublin for that video! Managed to get a copy too!
Many a sock sacrificed that month...

branie2

From the 1993 Family Album spring/summer edition: A bikini model shielding her eyes from the sun and leaning on a rock

idnkph

My older brother recorded Total recall years ago. I remember watching it one day while of school sick when the scene with the lady with the 3 jugs out popped up.
I knocked out about 6 tugs while paused on that that day.
But with the old VCR's you had to hit the pause button a few seconds before the scene to get it to pause at the right moment.
Then when it did pause at the right scene it hopped and jumped all over the screen so was near impossible to make out what was on the screen.
Any way moral of the story is the wan with the 3 tits used to give me a horn you could hang a door off.

branie2

The reason why I mentioned the 1993 spring/summer family Album is because it really sticks out in my mind

sjb25

branie2 wrote: »

is because it really sticks

I'd say so

branie2

Anyone here ever fap to Lucy Ewing in Dallas?

...And Justice

Mine was "last tango in Paris" it was on channel4 one Sunday night and the vcr was still on record after brookside I think. Absolutely loads of titi and then the sex bit came on and the French dude stuck butter up her arse so he could do the biz.you didn't see anything, but it was great spanking material.

"Ahh Kerry gold..we have this in France too"

MonkieSocks

branie2 wrote: »

The reason why I mentioned the 1993 spring/summer family Album is because it really sticks out in my mind

Ah Yes, i remember it so well

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWHJk5g9DOE

branie2

I'd love to see pictures from that album again

branie2

branie2 wrote: »

From the 1993 Family Album spring/summer edition: A bikini model shielding her eyes from the sun and leaning on a rock

When I say leaning, it was her arm on the rock.

oranbhoy67

...And Justice wrote: »

Mine was "last tango in Paris" it was on channel4 one Sunday night and the vcr was still on record after brookside I think. Absolutely loads of titi and then the sex bit came on and the French dude stuck butter up her arse so he could do the biz.you didn't see anything, but it was great spanking material.

"Ahh Kerry gold..we have this in France too"

he wasn't French - that was Marlon Brando

ericl

somesoldiers wrote: »

I still have the 2 issues of The Sun in my desk in work from when Claire Tully, the 1st or only Page 3 Irish model. 10 years old this year, only time I ever bought that rag. Whatever became of her?

Dirty bastard.

branie2

The Slo-Mo button on the video remote control must have been a great help

blueser

branie2 wrote: »

Anyone here ever fap to Lucy Ewing in Dallas?

WHAT? You mean Pam, surely? That walk she did in the opening credits, that bounce!

branie2

blueser wrote: »

WHAT? You mean Pam, surely? That walk she did in the opening credits, that bounce!

Lucy was by the pool in s few episodes wearing a bikini or onepiece

branie2

A Playtex bra ad (Cross Your Heart) from 1996. A woman notice a bra in her flatmates shopping, says "ooh, that's pretty" and takes off with it. the next scene shows her wearing it, and looking at herself in the mirror in her room.

...And Justice

Nothing beats butter up the arsé at 16 years old. The wánk master 5000 comes out, socks standing in the room etc... channel4 were dirty fúckers.

branie2

A Playtex bra ad (Cross Your Heart) from 1996. A woman notices a bra in her flatmates shopping, says "ooh, that's pretty" and takes off with it. the next scene shows her wearing it, and looking at herself in the mirror in her room.

Reposting, as I made a mess in editing the original.

Outlaw Pete

valoren wrote: »

I recall rubbing one out to this during Wimbledon in the mid 90's.

I remember Martina Hingis played a match (against Anne Kremer) in the mid to late 90's where she wore a skirt that didn't come down below her bum cheeks and a near invisible (at the back at least) g-string. In the papers the next day it said she had done it purposefully to take the headlines away from a certain Russian blonde who was making her debut that year and that the media had been writing about all week. Wimbledon even refused to allow BBC to show highlights of the match that night and Martina was made wear cycling shorts under her skirt for the rest of the tournament. Spoil sports.

To this day no footage of that first round match exists. Seen a highlights show recently on BBC and when they spoke of the match, the footage they played of Martina serving was of a different later match. Her attire (or lack of it) meant watching the match was pretty much like watching that tennis girl from the iconic poster playing tennis at Wimbledon. I used to have it on VHS but unfortunately my Dad recorded Glenroe over it one night. Speaking of which.. who hasn't fapped to Miley getting the shift in the barn or Biddy lounging around in her Penny's nightie. Pure filth and before the watershed too.