Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Baby screaming in restaurant

Options
1…89111314…18

Comments

  • Options
    #302
    c68zapdsm5i1ru
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,709 ✭✭✭c68zapdsm5i1ru


    lawred2 wrote: »
    lot of controlling being desired here

    they are children not computer games

    So you don't believe that parents should exert any control over their children?


  • Options
    #303
    lawred2
    Registered Users Posts: 24,304 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    Spanish Eyes wrote: »
    Parents should shut their kids up when in a communal environment. When they are off the scale I mean.

    How any parent would not be embarrassed by screaming or meltdowns is beyond me. Take them out somewhere else please. For your sake, the child's sake and everyone else's sake TBH.

    And I have a nephew with CP and autism who is a lovely kid, but has his moments. His parents would always take him out of an environment where he is not happy and causing upset to those around him, who often do not understand what is going on.

    He is an adorable child. But his needs are equal to others when out socialising. His parents understand this.

    relevance to OP?


  • Options
    #304
    c68zapdsm5i1ru
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,709 ✭✭✭c68zapdsm5i1ru


    dub_skav wrote: »
    Am I right in thinking that the actual establishment still hasn't been clarified?

    I ask because the "discussion" has brought in multiple factors, many of which could be eliminated with context.

    Though, of course After Hours is no place for context; everybody should stay in their hermetically sealed bubble vs it's my right to wear speedos and flip flops to Guilbauds

    It was a middling priced restaurant, attached to heritage/tourist type place. The menu was a brunch/lunch type one with, for example, salad dishes priced at 9-10 euro.


  • Options
    #305
    lawred2
    Registered Users Posts: 24,304 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »
    A lot of the posters here would probably have come over and told you to remove your baby from the restaurant because he was making noise...:rolleyes:
    (Glad some people are still human)

    and berated that 'idiot' woman for ever engaging with the 'brat'


  • Options
    #306
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 23,695 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    Keane2baMused wrote: »
    To me my child is the same as any other but yes he has additional needs and sometimes (or often) those needs exceed that of another child in his age bracket. If they didn't he wouldn't have the diagnosis that he does.

    I've worked in the area for years myself and also have other family with varying disabilities. They get treated by and large the same as everyone else. However there just are times when we have to be more tolerant, patient and understanding in situations because of that disability. I don't believe it to be singling them out I think it's an important part of acceptance.


    We're actually on the same page really ;)

    This TED talk by Torrie Dunlap is one I would recommend to anyone a lot sooner than I'd suggest they should watch a WWYD set-up, or Carly Fleischmann's film. Definitely worth a watch if you have time:




    Keane2baMused wrote: »
    You would be surprised how many intolerant people there are. The looks, stares, tuts and rude insensitive comments don't get much easier as time goes on. It still hurts.


    I hear you on that score, but I'm lucky in that I can surround myself with people who don't really pay too much attention to various quirks. It's when I have to go outside that I have to brace myself, and it's not easy to ignore the stare, tuts, and rude insensitive comments, and it does still hurt, but I've learned to cope with it, and that's what I mean when I say that consideration goes both ways - I have to consider the fact that other people aren't as aware of, or aren't as considerate of other people besides themselves as I am for instance. Thing is though - I don't see myself as being in any way unique or special in that regard either.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #307
    esforum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,420 ✭✭✭esforum


    lets turn this.

    Say I go out for dinner with my wife and child, the child falls asleep but we are sitting beside a large party celebrating, can I tell them to shut the **** up?

    What if we are withour our child but want a quiet meal together. Can I similarily decide to make the restaurant speak at a level I dictate?

    Lets remember this thread is about a child being held by a parent, not running around the place and hiding under strangers tables.


  • Options
    #308
    lawred2
    Registered Users Posts: 24,304 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    Pac1Man wrote: »
    Yes lock them away, that's what I said.

    Plenty of places for kids to enjoy themselves rather than an adult orientated eating place.



    As you say, in Ireland we rarely have dedicated play areas. Parents should be aware of that.

    oh the OP must have told you where they were dining.. Can you let us know?


  • Options
    #309
    MadDog76
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,162 ✭✭✭MadDog76


    Deleted User wrote: »
    What are the rules?

    I want to see them written down. I haven't seen them. And I certainly didn't know that one of them was that you have to tolerate it when a parent makes his child scream in a restaurant. It makes me kinda think that your point may be patent nonsense. But if it's a rule, then I certainly will consider it.

    I think you need to re-read my post ............ and then re-think your post.

    There are no "set-in-stone" rules when it comes to public places and children making noise ........... if you want such rules then stay at home where you get to make those rules.


  • Options
    #310
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    lawred2 wrote: »
    relevance to OP?

    The OP referred to 10 minutes of screaming rising to ear piercing levels.

    So a point about "screaming or meltdowns" seems relevant. 10 minutes of screaming is the former, no?


  • Options
    #311
    esforum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,420 ✭✭✭esforum


    Beatrice Inexpensive Staple wrote: »
    It was a middling priced restaurant, attached to heritage/tourist type place. The menu was a brunch/lunch type one with, for example, salad dishes priced at 9-10 euro.

    Something along the lines of Malahide castle or Bunratty castle?


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #312
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    MadDog76 wrote: »
    There are no "set-in-stone" rules when it comes to public places and children making noise ........... if you want such rules then stay at home where you get to make those rules.

    There are conventions...social constructs.

    If someone wants their child to scream for 10 minutes, at ear piercing levels, then they should "stay at home" where they get to do so without disturbing others.


  • Options
    #313
    lawred2
    Registered Users Posts: 24,304 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    Beatrice Inexpensive Staple wrote: »
    So you don't believe that parents should exert any control over their children?

    The child was seated and interacting with their parent.

    What further controls are you seeking to have exerted?


  • Options
    #314
    c68zapdsm5i1ru
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,709 ✭✭✭c68zapdsm5i1ru


    esforum wrote: »
    Something along the lines of Malahide castle or Bunratty castle?

    Well I've never been in either of those so I'm not sure. It wasn't a fast food place. It was waitress service, served wine, had a mix of adult only groups and adult and children groups.


  • Options
    #315
    Speedwell
    Registered Users Posts: 3,809 ✭✭✭Speedwell


    lawred2 wrote: »
    The child was seated and interacting with their parent.

    What further controls are you seeking?

    Volume controls?


  • Options
    #316
    c68zapdsm5i1ru
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,709 ✭✭✭c68zapdsm5i1ru


    lawred2 wrote: »
    The child was seated and interacting with their parent.

    What further controls are you seeking?

    Controlling the noise being made at your table. That goes for all tables by the way. Not just ones with children present.


  • Options
    #317
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    lawred2 wrote: »
    The child was seated and interacting with their parent.

    What further controls are you seeking?


    For him to cease making his baby shriek at an ear piercing level? Don't you think 10 mins was enough?


  • Options
    #318
    c68zapdsm5i1ru
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,709 ✭✭✭c68zapdsm5i1ru


    Some posters on here seem to have very black and white views:

    You either love children and are prepared to put up with any noise or inconvenience they cause in a public place, or you can't stand them.

    If you object to a child screaming in a restaurant, you obviously want children to sit like dummies and make no noise whatsoever.

    There is a happy medium, and that's all most people are requesting.


  • Options
    #319
    Keane2baMused
    Registered Users Posts: 1,576 ✭✭✭Keane2baMused


    Beatrice Inexpensive Staple wrote: »
    Well I've never been in either of those so I'm not sure. It wasn't a fast food place. It was waitress service, served wine, had a mix of adult only groups and adult and children groups.

    So it was a place where family's frequent and I assume are welcome?

    OP while I understand it may be annoying to you it's sort of something you can expect when you go to a busy lunchtime service in a place that welcomes children. For instance Milanos has table service and serve wine but make a point of having a family friendly ethos and thus if I go there I expect noise.

    If it was in an establishment more geared towards adults only I do think that's a different story.


  • Options
    #320
    c68zapdsm5i1ru
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,709 ✭✭✭c68zapdsm5i1ru


    Keane2baMused wrote: »
    So it was a place where family's frequent and I assume are welcome?

    OP while I understand it may be annoying to you it's sort of something you can expect when you go to a busy lunchtime service in a place that welcomes children. For instance Milanos has table service and serve wine but make a point of having a family friendly ethos and thus if go there I expect noise.

    If it was in an establishment more geared towards adults only I do think that's a different story.

    Why does 'family friendly' mean encouraging your baby to scream shrilly?


  • Options
    #321
    lawred2
    Registered Users Posts: 24,304 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    LexieOnRale wrote: »
    For him to cease making his baby shriek at an ear piercing level? Don't you think 10 mins was enough?

    that was the opinion of the OP

    And even the OP admitted that that opinion wasn't universally shared even at their own table..

    So; that's subjective.

    But yes; as a parent, I wouldn't indulge overly high pitched screams out of our two.

    But at the same time; I'd see that this man in question was interacting with his child in a manner that the child enjoyed. That sort of noise I could personally deal with. It would take some right miserable sod to actually get up and intervene in a child and parent having fun.

    But that's just me.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #322
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    There's noise, and then there's shrieking/screaming.
    Nobody is under any obligation to "expect" shrill screams coming from one child over the course of their lunch. It's not cute. It's not endearing. It's not relaxing.


  • Options
    #323
    Keane2baMused
    Registered Users Posts: 1,576 ✭✭✭Keane2baMused


    Beatrice Inexpensive Staple wrote: »
    Why does 'family friendly' mean encouraging your baby to scream shrilly?

    It doesn't but it means diners should expect noise and kids potentially behaving in a way that may irritate some.

    I avoid family restaurants for that reason if I manage to get out minus the kiddies!


  • Options
    #324
    Emmadilema123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 886 ✭✭✭Emmadilema123


    Some people need to go live on a hill somewhere in sweet sweet solitude! The world is loud sometimes. Get over it!


  • Options
    #325
    c68zapdsm5i1ru
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,709 ✭✭✭c68zapdsm5i1ru


    lawred2 wrote: »
    that was the opinion of the OP

    And even the OP admitted that that opinion wasn't universally shared even at their own table..

    So; that's subjective.

    But yes; as a parent, I wouldn't indulge overly high pitched screams out of our two.

    But at the same time; I'd see that this man in question was interacting with his child in a manner that the child enjoyed. That sort of noise I could personally deal with. It would take some right miserable sod to actually get up and intervene in a child and parent having fun.

    But that's just me.

    No, I didn't. I said one of the group thought it was out of order for another customer to say anything. She found the screaming annoying, but just felt that a direct approach to the father was a bit confrontational.


  • Options
    #326
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    lawred2 wrote: »
    that was the opinion of the OP

    And even the OP admitted that that opinion wasn't universally shared even at their own table..

    So; that's subjective.

    But yes; as a parent, I wouldn't indulge overly high pitched screams out of our two.

    But at the same time; I'd see that this man in question was interacting with his child in a manner that the child enjoyed. That sort of noise I could personally deal with. It would take some right miserable sod to actually get up and intervene in a child and parent having fun.

    But that's just me.
    If I'm on my break from work, I have 30 minutes of "me" time before I go back to work. If I'm paying for food/drink and sitting down to eat it and some idiot continues to make their baby scream for 33% of my time, yes I will ask them to stop making the child scream because it's loud and disruptive.


  • Options
    #327
    lawred2
    Registered Users Posts: 24,304 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    Beatrice Inexpensive Staple wrote: »
    No, I didn't. I said one of the group thought it was out of order for another customer to say anything. She found the screaming annoying, but just felt that a direct approach to the father was a bit confrontational.

    apologies... I stand corrected.


  • Options
    #328
    lawred2
    Registered Users Posts: 24,304 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    LexieOnRale wrote: »
    If I'm on my break from work, I have 30 minutes of "me" time before I go back to work. If I'm paying for food/drink and sitting down to eat it and some idiot continues to make their baby scream for 33% of my time, yes I will ask them to stop making the child scream because it's loud and disruptive.

    Best of luck with that.


  • Options
    #329
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    lawred2 wrote: »
    Best of luck with that.


    The exact same way as I told off a parent for allowing her son persistently kick my legs on public transport for over an hour.
    Or how I'll ask a child please don't kick your football at my table please.
    When a parent refuses to acknowledge their child's bad behaviour and that behaviour is affecting me, I'll have no problem saying it.

    Thing I don't see the baby in the op as being bad, just the father, with the smug self entitled attitude


  • Options
    #330
    Keane2baMused
    Registered Users Posts: 1,576 ✭✭✭Keane2baMused


    Sometimes you just can't win.

    I was on a flight when my son was 6 months. He was crying because his ears were hurting. Only thing that helped was bouncing him on my knee. Kept him quiet and happy and I presumed it would be to the appreciation of others.

    A few mins later an older 'gentleman' turned in his seat and gave out sh1te to me saying the sound of him bouncing on my knee was irritating as hell. The guy was puce in the face he was so angry.

    Flight attendant came along to see what the ruckus was and she in turn gave out crap to him stating it was a family friendly airline, we did nothing wrong and he could sit in a different seat if he had an issue. When we got off the flight a number of people came up to me apologising for his behaviour and told me they had no idea why he acted like such an arseh@le and they could all see I did the best thing for the baby and others on the flight.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #331
    gozunda
    Registered Users Posts: 18,996 ✭✭✭✭gozunda


    lawred2 wrote: »
    Best of luck with that.

    School of free expression ~
    Scene 1.

    Queue nonstop screaming child

    Parent looks on approvingly / ignores ear-splitting decibels

    Ah the "my child is expressing its natural creativity"

    "Don't anyone dare question my child or its behaviour otherwise they obviously hate children"!

    ....


This discussion has been closed.
Advertisement