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No longer attracted to my girlfriend

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    #632
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Shabra wrote: »
    When did I say 40 wasn't middle aged?
    Again you compare young and middle aged, I'm not contending that. It's 20 versus 40 that I contend

    If you think 40 year olds look better than 20 year olds, that's fine and your opinion. It's not the universal truth you're trying to portray though, in fact it's a rarity.

    There's only one George Clooney, and I wouldn't be interested in him anyway. The overwhelming majority of men haven't his looks, or his charisma, or his voice, or his fame or all the other things that add to that package.

    Although why this is so important to you as a woman is puzzling.


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    #633
    Shabra
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 60 ✭✭Shabra


    One eyed Jack wrote: »
    Attractive to WHOM though?

    Other people his own age? Possibly.

    Other people younger than him? Plausible.

    Other people who are much younger than him? Unlikely.

    And it really doesn't matter how well he takes care of himself or doesn't. Attraction isn't reflected merely in terms of looks, so there's every chance your hypothetical 40 year old man could be the spit of George Clooney, but the personality of a wet fish, and being ridiculously good looking doesn't bridge that gap.

    I've already addressed that attraction is more than looks, a 38 year old who looks after himself will usually find it easier to get laid than a 20 year old due primarily to confidence and a more attractive personality.

    The general female population is what I refer to.


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    #634
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Shabra wrote: »
    When did I say 40 wasn't middle aged?

    You made a sweeping generalisation which doesn't hold. You said middle aged men are better looking than young men, it depends what ages you are talking about. A 50 year old is usually not better looking than a 28 year old but a 40 year old who looks after their health is usually better looking than a 16 year old.

    Nope, thats your position.


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    #635
    Tarzana2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,553 ✭✭✭Tarzana2


    Duck's hoop wrote: »
    But he has no problem 'pulling' women 20 years younger than him.

    How many women 20 years younger has he actually got with? Be honest.


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    #636
    Shabra
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 60 ✭✭Shabra


    Candie wrote: »
    Nope, thats your position.

    Nope that's not my position.

    You said younger men are are better looking than middle aged men.

    I stated my position numerous times.


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    #637
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Shabra wrote: »
    Nope that's not my position.

    You said younger men are are better looking than middle aged men.

    Read the bit I bolded again.

    I don't think middle aged men are better looking than younger men, that's an idea you're doing your best to convince us of.


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    #638
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 23,695 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    Shabra wrote: »
    I've already addressed that attraction is more than looks, a 38 year old who looks after himself will usually find it easier to get laid than a 20 year old due primarily to confidence and a more attractive personality.

    Shabra wrote: »
    You made a sweeping generalisation which doesn't hold.

    The general female population is what I refer to.


    And again -

    Shabra wrote: »
    You made a sweeping generalisation which doesn't hold.


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    #639
    Shabra
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 60 ✭✭Shabra


    Candie wrote: »
    Read the bit I bolded again.

    I don't think middle aged men are better looking than younger men, that's an idea you're doing your best to convince us of.

    No it's not. The position I argued was that 40 year old who look after their health and whose hair doesn't fall out are usually better looking than when they were 20. I never said middle aged men were better looking than young men.


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    #640
    Shabra
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 60 ✭✭Shabra


    One eyed Jack wrote: »
    And again -

    When referring to what better looking is I refer to what the majority of women find better looking.


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    #641
    Duck's hoop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,530 ✭✭✭Duck's hoop


    Tarzana2 wrote: »
    How many women 20 years younger has he actually got with? Be honest.

    He's definitely 'been with' 3 women under 25 only this year. It's generally under 30 à la Jack Nicholson in that film.

    It's not something I'm going to invent on a wet afternoon for japes.


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    #642
    Duck's hoop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,530 ✭✭✭Duck's hoop


    Shabra wrote: »
    No it's not. The position I argued was that 40 year old who look after their health and whose hair doesn't fall out are usually better looking than when they were 20.


    Are you confusing 'better looking' with 'more attractive' (to you)?


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    #643
    osarusan
    Registered Users Posts: 16,571 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    Shabra wrote: »
    When referring to what better looking is I refer to what the majority of women find better looking.

    On this thread it would seem there are at least a few who disagree with you about what is 'good-looking.'


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    #644
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Shabra wrote: »
    No it's not. The position I argued was that 40 year old who look after their health and whose hair doesn't fall out are usually better looking than when they were 20. I never said middle aged men were better looking than young men.

    And that's a pretty out there opinion, to say the same guy looks better at 40 than at 20 if he hangs onto his hair and health. Like I said, a good looking middle aged man is usually what happens to a gorgeous 20 year old who gets older.

    And how do you feel about yourself as a 30 year old woman?

    Do you feel you're going to deteriorate terribly or will you be able to hold back time if you look after yourself?


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    #645
    strobe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,872 ✭✭✭strobe


    Shabra wrote: »
    When referring to what better looking is I refer to what the majority of women find better looking.

    The majority of which women? If you're talking about middle aged women and older it's possibly the case. 18-30? Not a chance in hell.


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    #646
    Shabra
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 60 ✭✭Shabra


    strobe wrote: »
    The majority of which women? If you're talking about middle aged women and older it's possibly the case. 18-30? Not a chance in hell.

    The majority of Women 18 to menopause. Again , most men destroy their bodies by 40 so you don'the see it that often that 40 year old have looked after their health.


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    #647
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Shabra wrote: »
    When referring to what better looking is I refer to what the majority of women find better looking.

    You can only really speak for your own preferences. In my experience, the majority of women think men look better in their youth than in middle age. Hardly revolutionary stuff.

    If you're attracted to older men, that's fine and I hope you find a man you're very happy with.


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    #648
    strobe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,872 ✭✭✭strobe


    Shabra wrote: »
    The majority of Women 18 to menopause. Again , most men destroy their bodies by 40 so you don'the see it that often that 40 year old have looked after their health.

    I'm curious as to what you're basing this assumption on? Have you conducted some kind of detailed field research I'm unaware of that flies in the face of reality? You genuinely believe most 25 year old women would find a man more attractive in middle age than youth? Honestly? Why on earth do you think that?
    Do you think most 25 year old men would find a woman more attractive in middle age too btw?
    This is weirdly fascinating.

    I dunno, maybe I'm wrong and you're right, I'd just find that hard to believe. Let's conduct a quick straw poll.

    Could any women reading here let us know if they found 40 year old men more attractive than young guys roughly their own age when they were pre 30's? Just to get a rough read on the thing.


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    #649
    Shabra
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 60 ✭✭Shabra


    Candie wrote: »
    You can only really speak for your own preferences. In my experience, the majority of women think men look better in their youth than in middle age. Hardly revolutionary stuff.

    If you're attracted to older men, that's fine and I hope you find a man you're very happy with.


    I'm not arguing against that women find men better looking in their youth than middle age, I don'tknow why you keep bring that argument up.

    To lump the question 35 vs 18 with 55 versus 30 is strange, there are different answers for each age comparison, you can't lump them together.


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    #650
    TheBeardedLady
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,086 ✭✭✭TheBeardedLady


    Duck's hoop wrote: »
    I've a friend in his 40s. Looks it but good looking chap. Balding too. Not loaded, not powerful, average job, average joe.

    But he has no problem 'pulling' women 20 years younger than him.

    I know quite a few men around the same age, most of these are either married or in LTR with women 8-12 years younger.

    Not sur what my point is. Maybe the jowls etc aren't as off putting for all women as they are for you?

    Is she saying all women though? I thought she said "most" and as a woman who wouldn't be turned off by jowls, grey hair or wrinkles within reason (as long as the man was in shape), I know I've always been exceptional amongst my female friends.


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    #651
    osarusan
    Registered Users Posts: 16,571 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    Shabra wrote: »
    To lump the question 35 vs 18 with 55 versus 30 is strange,
    It's funny how they keep getting younger.

    40 goes down to 35.

    The 'youth' has gone as low as 16.



    I'd definitely say that a middle-aged 28 year-old is more attractive than a 12 year-old.


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    #652
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Shabra wrote: »
    I'm not arguing against that women find men better looking in their youth than middle age, I don'tknow why you keep bring that argument up.

    To lump the question 35 vs 18 with 55 versus 30 is strange, there are different answers for each age comparison, you can't lump them together.

    Thats precisely the argument you're making, claiming that men have better bodies etc at 40 than at 20.

    But I'm curious about how you feel about your own ageing, as a woman of 30? Do you feel you're going downhill from now on?


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    #653
    Shabra
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 60 ✭✭Shabra


    strobe wrote: »
    You're delusional. I'm curious as to what you're basing this assumption on? Have you conducted some kind of detailed field research I'm unaware of that flies in the face of reality? You genuinely believe most 25 year old women would find a man more attractive in middle age than youth? Honestly? Why on earth do you think that?
    Do you think most 25 year old men would find a woman more attractive in middle age too btw?
    This is weirdly fascinating.

    When did say that I think a 25 year old would find a middle aged man more attractive than in his youth?

    That question has a whole set of permutations which need to be answered individually.


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    #654
    Shabra
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 60 ✭✭Shabra


    Candie wrote: »
    Thats precisely the argument you're making, claiming that men have better bodies etc at 40 than at 20.

    But I'm curious about how you feel about your own ageing, as a woman of 30? Do you feel you're going downhill from now on?

    It's not the argument I'm claiming. I believe 25 year old are better looking than 55 year old so it'should clearly not the argument I'm making. I'very stated my argument numerous times and you keep bringing up a different argument which depends on which combination of ages you choose.


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    #655
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 23,695 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    Shabra wrote: »
    When referring to what better looking is I refer to what the majority of women find better looking.


    The majority of women of what age though?


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    #656
    TheBeardedLady
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,086 ✭✭✭TheBeardedLady


    Shabra wrote: »
    When did say that I think a 25 year old would find a middle aged man more attractive than in his youth?

    That question has a whole set of permutations which need to be answered individually.


    I genuinely can't figure out what you're saying.


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    #657
    Shabra
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 60 ✭✭Shabra


    One eyed Jack wrote: »
    The majority of women of what age though?

    18 to menopause.


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    #658
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Shabra wrote: »
    It's not the argument I'm claiming. I believe 25 year old are better looking than 55 year old so it'should clearly not the argument I'm making. I'very stated my argument numerous times and you keep bringing up a different argument which depends on which combination of ages you choose.

    Nope, I keep saying the same things.

    Do you think you'll look better at 40 than at 20, as a woman?


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    #659
    Shabra
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 60 ✭✭Shabra


    TheBeardedLady wrote: »
    I genuinely can't figure out what you're saying.

    I'll say it again.

    I believe a man is better looking at 40 than 20 usually provided he looks after his health and his hair doesn't fall out.

    Take Roy Keane as an example, not a typically good looking man. At 40 he was better looking than at 20.


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    #660
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Shabra wrote: »
    I'll say it again.

    I believe a man is better looking at 40 than 20 usually provided he looks after his health and his hair doesn't fall out.

    And you extrapolate this to mean that the majority of women think a well preserved 40 year old man is better looking than the same man at 20? Seriously?

    How do you feel you'll personally fare at 40 as a woman though?


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    #661
    Shabra
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 60 ✭✭Shabra


    Candie wrote: »
    Nope, I keep saying the same things.

    Do you think you'll look better at 40 than at 20, as a woman?

    I'm a transexual, and given you are struggling to understand a simple argument I have made I won'the confuse you anymore by bringing transexual it into it.


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