is it ever ok to punch a bully in the f**kin face?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 21-09-2014 07:34PM

Has any bullying ever stopped due to a teacher 'talking' to the bully? In my experience the bullying got worse, never seen it solving anything long term. Bullies are unhappy cowards, who clearly need to feel better about their own ****ty lives so they pick on the most vulnerable kid.

If I ever have kids, ill be telling them if someone ever punches them, to punch them right back. Eff that.

The_Kew_Tour · 21-09-2014 07:48PM

Yes.

pablo128 · 21-09-2014 08:13PM

I got bullied in school a good bit as a teenager. The usual story, the 'popular' crowd picking on anyone different. (I was a rocker in the late 80's.) It died off for a while when my older brother found out and smashed one of them up. But there was one ginger w@nker who wouldn't give up. He did though, only after I snapped and gave him a kick in the stones and a loaf.

I have a little girl about to turn 6, and I would love to tell her to defend herself, but the missus won't have it. I have decided that if she gets bullied I'll have a word with her parents. If it doesn't stop, her da is getting it.

kylith · 21-09-2014 08:28PM

It's horrible to be bullied by girls. A crowd of bitches made my life hell in secondary but you can't smack them because they never touch you. If you get hit and hit back it's one thing, but there's no way you'll get away with punching someone because she made a remark in a snarky tone of voice.

xLisaBx · 21-09-2014 08:30PM

kylith wrote: »

It's horrible to be bullied by girls. A crowd of bitches made my life hell in secondary but you can't smack them because they never touch you. If you get hit and hit back it's one thing, but there's no way you'll get away with punching someone because she made a remark in a snarky tone of voice.

Literally nothing you can do but wait it out

kylith · 21-09-2014 08:31PM

xLisaBx wrote: »

Literally nothing you can do but wait it out

I used to have a screaming meltdown every couple of years. It didn't help my reputation for being 'mental', but it made sure the teachers knew what was going on and they did.... nothing.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 21-09-2014 08:40PM

kylith wrote: »

It's horrible to be bullied by girls. A crowd of bitches made my life hell in secondary but you can't smack them because they never touch you. If you get hit and hit back it's one thing, but there's no way you'll get away with punching someone because she made a remark in a snarky tone of voice.

I got bullied for a few weeks of 6th year. Typical girl bullying, sly underhanded and behind my back. I found they hated confrontation. Not just girls who bullied me but girls who bullied other girls too. I confronted one in history class and she was on her own in that class and she couldn't even make eye contact with me after that for the remainder of the year.

AnonoBoy · 21-09-2014 08:46PM

Adamantium wrote: »

Th teacher made the guy sit down and ignored me completely, and as he turned his back to the board, you could see a barely concealed smile.

Holy sh*t - standing up to the bully gave you x-ray vision??? :eek:

the_syco · 21-09-2014 08:49PM

kylith wrote: »

It's horrible to be bullied by girls. A crowd of bitches made my life hell in secondary but you can't smack them because they never touch you. If you get hit and hit back it's one thing, but there's no way you'll get away with punching someone because she made a remark in a snarky tone of voice.

I was once bullied by a group of lads smaller than me in height, whilst in secondary school. A few months later, I learnt about the IRA, collateral damage, and guerrilla warfare all around the same time. Them, their friends, and anyone who was within 10 feet of them was fair game for attacks, and got a bag of books to the face. After a campaign of a few months, the little f**kers stopped harressing me.

AnonoBoy · 21-09-2014 08:52PM

the_syco wrote: »

After a campaign of a few months, the little f**kers stopped harressing me.

Months?

That sounds a bit unhinged.

wazky · 21-09-2014 08:54PM

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Months?

That sounds a bit unhinged.

He's a guerrilla warfare expert, he knows no bounds.

Specialising in hardback bombardments.

AnonoBoy · 21-09-2014 08:57PM

wazky wrote: »

He's a guerrilla warfare expert, he knows no bounds.

Specialising in hardback bombardments.

After a few months does it not become you bullying them?

I mean - what the hell?

Cienciano · 21-09-2014 09:02PM

nc19 wrote: »

This is the worst parenting I have ever seen

telling a child to close his fist and punch anothet child. Ridiculous!

Lead with the elbow man. Everyone knows that!!!

This is disgraceful advice and I urge all parents to not do this.

You punch first then follow through with the elbow.

Pixelbastardo · 21-09-2014 09:11PM

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

You're not very professional then tbh if you're advocating violence

Maybe their not "professional", but atleast their being realistic about the situation. and have alot more experience with this, being a teacher and around it in their daily job.

ian87 · 21-09-2014 09:24PM

Thank you sir. As I said my own opinion is one thing, professional practice which I follow is another hence I practice the "you must tell the teacher" line of thought.

It's a fact of life that bullies thrive on people they believe won't fight back. If they think you won't fight back then you are fair game in their eyes. That goes for small children right up to elderly people. If you get hit, you hit back. It's basic survival and you can't be so naive to believe things can be "talked out" and it will work all of the time.

I taught in a tough inner city school where the children came from the toughest and roughest area. Breaking up fights between the kids was a weekly occurrence. If Tom was bothering Johnny, Johnny would normally hit back. It was ingrained into the children from day 1. Obviously I didn't encourage it and used best professional practice but what struck me when I left that school was how bullying issues were not a major problem. I was then teaching in a "middle class" school where the kids would be conditioned to tell the teacher about bullying issues and not hit back.

Guess which school had the bigger bullying problem?

Cienciano · 21-09-2014 09:29PM

Sometimes violence is the answer. Possibly not with 5 year olds, but with older kids it's the easiest solution

Roger Hassenforder · 21-09-2014 10:16PM

I wonder is it mainly the men here who advocate getting their retaliation in first? Its probably more "acceptable" for young lads do throw a few digs here and there. Male bravado and all that.

While now it may be "proper" thing to do is go and tell the teacher, in my experience, albeit in a tough school in limerick in the 80s, that is the last thing you'd do. It would only make it worse, and add fuel to the fire. To be honest, I cant really see it working now either.

As a kid, being lippy, i was usually able to talk my way out of trouble. But I remember one incident in particular; a gob****e who had been hassling me of late, pouring paint over my lovely painting of a tiger tank in art class, and then ripping it up. i stood up and wore my chair off the cnut. he stayed away from me after that. Last i heard he was in prison.

Its really sad reading posters' experiences of being bullied, and how they suffered, especially when the system failed them. Heartening to hear of people taking the matter into their own hands.

I wonder though is girls being bullied by other girls worse ? more insidious? more personal? how do you deal with that? i dont think a slap is the answer there.

i deffo think its ok for my lad to retaliate. while it isnt an issue yet, i think its a life skill, to be able to stand up for oneself. i need to strike a balance though, dont want him growing up to be a thug. he isn't allowed hit his sisters back, he has tell me.

maybe we'll stay away from the shanks a while though.

beanie10 · 21-09-2014 10:16PM

OP did you ever hear song by Johnny Cash called "A boy named Sue".
Listen to lyrics this should do the trick.

Roger Hassenforder · 21-09-2014 10:19PM

beanie10 wrote: »

OP did you ever hear song by Johnny Cash called "A boy named Sue".
Listen to lyrics this should do the trick.

great song all right.
but if the Gattlin boys did that to my Becky, it wouldnt be a beat down I'd be handing out.

jimgoose · 21-09-2014 10:22PM

Punch me arse. Taekwon-do.

philstar · 21-09-2014 10:37PM

this is how you deal with bullys, you nip it in the bud....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwWNRj8yJYo

Shakespeare's Sister · 21-09-2014 10:46PM

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

Is there too much namby pambying these days? Are we running to the teachers every time our kids gets pushed over demanding interventions bla bla etc., hearing the usual platitudes "violence doesn't solve anything", "its a cry for help" from the little scrote", that polices are in place do deal with it...
do we need to teach our kids assertiveness and not to take ****e from bullies?

Above is a bit Viz tbh.
I don't think there's anything wrong with telling your kid to hit back (although what if they're not a fighter? What if they hit back and then get hit even harder in retaliation?) but it's hardly "namby pamby" to tell their teacher also.

Shakespeare's Sister · 21-09-2014 10:49PM

newmug wrote: »

Boards answer: Tell your son the most important thing in life is to stand up for yourself by being a ******. Talk to the bully about his Feeeeeeeeelings. Sure it's not his fault, he MUST have been abused. Let him fondle your balls while he belittles you and beats you up, obviously if he gets what he wants he'll stop and go away.

Real answer: zero tolerance. Bullies only understand their own way of thinking. Communicate to him the way he communicates to you. Punch the ****e as hard as you can, every time he engages in bullying behaviour with you. Then he'll get the message

Ooh, wonder what ****** might signify...

I bet nobody has ever ever ever said to someone being bullied to talk to the bully about their feelings and that it's not the bully's fault, they must have been abused.
If anything on Boards, you get the "Don't let yourself be bullied" brigade turning the blame for the bullying on the victim.

Roger Hassenforder · 21-09-2014 10:50PM

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

What if they hit back and then get hit even harder in retaliation?.

could happen, but i reckon, and based on my experience of bullies, the bully will move onto someone else.

doolox · 21-09-2014 11:00PM

This is why I advocate everyone doing a little physical exercise and self defence training so there isn't too much disparity in the physical strength of the bully and the victim. Fortunately most bullies are relatively weak and do not engage in long drawn out fights but you need to be decisive and fast.

kryogen · 21-09-2014 11:34PM

I follow a simple enough mantra, I tell my kids to be nice to everybody, but if someone pushes then push back, if they hit then hit back harder. Always start from a point of trying to get along though, sometimes it just isnt possible and I would rather they are able to stand up for themselves then be walked all over.

I have no worries about them becoming thugs because treating everyone with respect first and foremost is something I try to teach them to live by

21-09-2014 11:56PM

Do you think other parents describe your child as a "little scrote" too?

Shakespeare's Sister · 21-09-2014 11:57PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Do you think other parents describe your child as a "little scrote" too?

If the OP's kid was bullying the other kid they'd have cause to I guess.

Shakespeare's Sister · 21-09-2014 11:59PM

myshirt wrote: »

I'm very surprised with all the pass the buck answers.

Guys, that doesn't resolve it. The core issue is the kid's own ability to deal with life. The kid can't be mammied through it all. Where the hell did you people grow up?

I'm not seeing that many pass the buck answers at all.

Roger Hassenforder · 22-09-2014 12:09AM

Deleted User wrote: »

Do you think other parents describe your child as a "little scrote" too?

i'm trying to raise him to have respect for other people, be a decent kid etc.
& if he was a little scrote, I'd kill him.

is it ever ok to punch a bully in the f**kin face?

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