is it ever ok to punch a bully in the f**kin face?

Roger Hassenforder

the young fella is now in senior infants. And with every school, there's a little bollicks in the yard that picks on the smaller lads, mine included sometimes. its not an issue, he doesn't seem too worried about it (yet?!), but the wife and I differ on dealing with it.

I'm old school, and have said to him, its ok to defend himself, but not to throw the first slap, to warn the bully if he pushes/kicks him again that he'll retaliate in kind. then if the scrote picks on him again, mill the little f**ker. He might take a few extra slaps, but he'll be too much hassle for the bully the next time, he'll pick on some one else.

Needless to say the wife has a different view, and thinks im encouraging him to be a thug. I say the little chap has to learn to stand up for himself, ive to teach him how to do it.

Is there too much namby pambying these days? Are we running to the teachers every time our kids gets pushed over demanding interventions bla bla etc., hearing the usual platitudes "violence doesn't solve anything", "its a cry for help" from the little scrote", that polices are in place do deal with it...
do we need to teach our kids assertiveness and not to take ****e from bullies?

policarp

If you're intimated and you think you
will be hurt.
Then fight your corner.

wazky

Give the little lad a shank, nobody will fcuk with him when he sticks some other little fcuker.

0byme75341jo28

It he pisses him off long enough that your son gives him a box then as far as I'm concerned he deserved it.

I wouldn't encourage your kid to do it, and I wouldn't reward him for doing it, but I really wouldn't be too upset if he did. Your son stands his ground and that little shit gets a blood nose, what's not to like? :P

Roger Hassenforder

wazky wrote: »

Give the little lad a shank, nobody will fcuk with him when he sticks some other little fcuker.

he has one made from a crayon, its not very effective though

krudler

A dig in the head is too easy, encourage your kid to play the long game, plotting devious revenge whenever he can. Like spiking the bullies drinks with eyedrops so every day he has some digestive pyrotechnics to amuse the class with.

LowOdour

wazky wrote: »

Give the little lad a shank, nobody will fcuk with him when he sticks some other little fcuker.

Fair enough I might be slightly pissed...but wazku is right..,arm the young 'un with a blade

TheBegotten

Just to clarify, we're talking about five year olds here? Talk to the teacher about it, at that age a stern word will set him right. I'd say something if it was a ten year old.

krustydoyle

Feck it, tell the chap to stick him and I betcha there won't be much more after it

diomed

Tell him to spit on each hand, then take a penalty kick.

0byme75341jo28

TheBegotten wrote: »

Just to clarify, we're talking about five year olds here? Talk to the teacher about it, at that age a stern word will set him right. I'd say something if it was a ten year old.

You've obviously never met a proper little shit. :P

Violence is the answer, friends. Violence is the answer.

Timmyctc

wazky wrote: »

Give the little lad a shank, nobody will fcuk with him when he sticks some other little fcuker.

http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/ain+t+no+one+****s+with+tiny+hippo_7541d9_3298343.jpg

BrokenArrows

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

the young fella is now in senior infants. And with every school, there's a little bollicks in the yard that picks on the smaller lads, mine included sometimes. its not an issue, he doesn't seem too worried about it (yet?!), but the wife and I differ on dealing with it.

I'm old school, and have said to him, its ok to defend himself, but not to throw the first slap, to warn the bully if he pushes/kicks him again that he'll retaliate in kind. then if the scrote picks on him again, mill the little f**ker. He might take a few extra slaps, but he'll be too much hassle for the bully the next time, he'll pick on some one else.

Needless to say the wife has a different view, and thinks im encouraging him to be a thug. I say the little chap has to learn to stand up for himself, ive to teach him how to do it.

Is there too much namby pambying these days? Are we running to the teachers every time our kids gets pushed over demanding interventions bla bla etc., hearing the usual platitudes "violence doesn't solve anything", "its a cry for help" from the little scrote", that polices are in place do deal with it...
do we need to teach our kids assertiveness and not to take ****e from bullies?

I would first go down the route with the teachers and it it happens a single more time then give your kid permission to throw a few punches.

Problem is that if your kid cant fight and loses badly then it will just make things a lot worse as he has just reenforced the bully's power.

wazky

A good shanking solves all, remember to twist.

Don't let your child go all ISIS though, that wouldn't be cool.

0byme75341jo28

wazky wrote: »

A good shanking solves all, remember to twist.

Don't let your child go all ISIS though, that wouldn't be cool.

Speak for yourself....

kowloon

This kid fought back and was praised for it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2RqghfXR_o

deco nate

Just to be clear, are we talking about Russia v the Ukraine,?
If so tell the little lad to keep on standing up for himself.

Never give in to a bully!!

PizzamanIRL

I'll bate that little bastard for ya! Show me where me lives. Show me!

Tombi!

Given they're so young and it's happening to others too, either talk to the parents or the teacher and see if that can be resolved first.

Turtyturd

Parents of these kids are normally as bad so it might be better for you to punch them in the face.

beanie10

yes op go with this one. find the little bollixes father and everytime the kid bullies yours just plant his father one between the 2 eyes.

voz es

Man get the lad into boxing traning, the fact alone that he is boxing will get most bullys off his back, a typical bully is a coward.

jippo nolan

Remember what Jesus said "do unto others as they do unto you, but get the boot in first"

Soft Falling Rain

Don't see the problem, if the bully is old enough to dish it out then your son is old enough to retaliate in kind.

Annasopra

Your Wife is absolutely 100% right

Molester Stallone II

Of course you should speak to the teacher, it must be brought to their attention & let them deal with it, believe me, they have a lot more experience dealing with little Mussolinis than you have.

kylith

Bring it to the attention of the teacher, but co-incidentally teach your son to box or a martial art.

pickarooney

Of course he should retaliate. The sooner he learns to deal with his own problems, the better.

Rubberchikken

it's all well and good to teach a kid to walk away, tell teacher, blah blah.
but when teachers are not even dealing with these types of children in schools, kids have to look after themselves.
i always told mine, after they took the bully crap, spoke to teachers etc, to never start anything but if needed, finish it. people have to be able to look after themselves and it seems necessary for it to start in infant classes.

good luck to your lad.

myshirt

What you do is have a word with his father in front of both your child, and his, to lead by example.

Put it to him and his son sternly that it's not to continue (obviously a bit softer with the kid). If it happens again, you'll have to call over to the father only for an explanation. And tell the father that.

Separately, get the kid involved in boxing, rugby or some sport - the focus is to grow his confidence to be able to deal with life, to relationship build, and maintain that level of self esteem he needs. There's always going to be a level of bullying going on at all stages of life unfortunately. The world is run on power and control.

Annasopra

Rubberchikken wrote: »

it's all well and good to teach a kid to walk away, tell teacher, blah blah.
but when teachers are not even dealing with these types of children in schools, kids have to look after themselves.
i always told mine, after they took the bully crap, spoke to teachers etc, to never start anything but if needed, finish it. people have to be able to look after themselves and it seems necessary for it to start in infant classes.

good luck to your lad.

Teachers are obliged to deal with it nowadays. Schools have completely changed!!!!!

myshirt

I'm very surprised with all the pass the buck answers.

Guys, that doesn't resolve it. The core issue is the kid's own ability to deal with life. The kid can't be mammied through it all. Where the hell did you people grow up?

beanie10

Joeytheparrot wrote:

Your Wife is absolutely 100% right

aren't they always!

Annasopra

beanie10 wrote: »

aren't they always!

No

beanie10

Joeytheparrot wrote:

No

ssh Dont tell them that!

Annasopra

myshirt wrote: »

I'm very surprised with all the pass the buck answers.

Guys, that doesn't resolve it. The core issue is the kid's own ability to deal with life. The kid can't be mammied through it all. Where the hell did you people grow up?

And teaching kids that violence is the answer to life achieves what exactly?

helimachoptor

When I was in primary school someone, I didn't know who long story short felt my bag move, jumped under my desk, got out from under my desk got bagged on head, picked up chair smashed him in the face with it, happy to give your kid lessons op

Un Croissant

helimachoptor wrote: »

When I was in primary school someone, I didn't know who long story short felt my bag move, jumped under my desk, got out from under my desk got bagged on head, picked up chair smashed him in the face with it, happy to give your kid lessons op

Wat?

myshirt

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

And teaching kids that violence is the answer to life achieves what exactly?

Violence is not the answer.

But we don't live in a perfect world unfortunately. Asking the child to be the next Mahatma Gandhi is unrealistic.

Turtyturd

Un Croissant wrote: »

Wat?

Got tbagged, smacked perpetrator with chair.

looking_around

Molester Stallone II wrote: »

Of course you should speak to the teacher, it must be brought to their attention & let them deal with it, believe me, they have a lot more experience dealing with little Mussolinis than you have.

and more times then not, they do feck all.


At OP, talk to the teachers, that's the correct protocol. But also, yes, it's perfectly ok for your son to defend himself.

But remember what self defence is?
Doing enough to get away. It's not a beating. It's doing enough to escape the situation.
And be careful, what you encourage your son to do, or he'll be the one in trouble.

nc19

This is the worst parenting I have ever seen


telling a child to close his fist and punch anothet child. Ridiculous!


Lead with the elbow man. Everyone knows that!!!

tonycascarino

Ya, it's ok to punch a bully in the face. Did it when I was young and he never tried anything again.

kiffer

Have schools changed so much that teachers have started to do something when they are told about bullying?
My understanding was that the anti bullying policy was "tell people there is a policy to deal with bullying, bullying is not allowed, and therefore doesn't happen".
So when a child is bullied and defends themselves/hits back it's just fighting.

looking_around

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

Teachers are obliged to deal with it nowadays. Schools have completely changed!!!!!

Nowadays as oppose to what?
2 years ago?
5?
10?

I have seen a friends kids have trouble with bullying, 2 years ago. The teachers bring it up with the parents, but that is it.
They turn their backs in the halls and walk the other way.

Just because they are supposed to deal with, does not mean they do.

When I was in school, I remember the whole fiasco.
Calling parents in, having a talking to with the kid, and in the end, you just got bullied some more.

Bullying didn't stop despite how many times I "told". No, it stopped when I fcuking snapped and slammed a prick against the wall.

helimachoptor

Un Croissant wrote: »

Wat?

I'm hungover..

Wilfork

LowOdour wrote: »

Fair enough I might be slightly pissed...but wazku is right..,arm the young 'un with a blade

After he gives him a few shots, tell him to just let his hand drop to his side and the knife slip out. Everybody will still think he has it. Then he should walk out of the place real fast, but don't run. Don't look nobody directly in the eye, but don't look away either.

These things gotta happen every five years or so, ten years. Helps to get rid of the bad blood. You know, you gotta stop them at the beginning. Like they should have stopped Hitler at Munich, they should never let him get away with that, they was just asking for trouble.

sjb25

O split him open with a box!!!!!! They may even become friends lol

ian87

That old chestnut... Professionally I am obliged to say no, that is not allowed, you are to tell the teacher ie me and let me deal with it.

Personally I think kids like that only respond to a slap in the chops. Bullies prey on those they think won't react or stand up for themselves. It's something I'll be telling my own kids to do...

xLisaBx

I'd tell him to defend himself! I got so much grief in school that it still affects me now. A whole school of teachers decided to ignore what was happening to me, the only way it ceased (even if it was only for an hour or so) was self defence.
Don't put him through years of torture

Tail Docker

My eldest went through school quietly enduring bullies and being nice, mainly as he is a terribly nice young lad. My youngest takes a different view and cheerfully splits them a new one if they try it on with him. There are now very few volunteers to have a new one split for themselves.

On a purely "personal mental health" front, Option B appears to be much better, the youngest is very open, happy and mentally strong. The bullies squashed the older lads self esteem a fair bit. So I'd say clatter them and smile.

On a "getting suspended for fighting" front, Option A appears to avoid this, but to me, a happy suspended child is preferable to a cowed "good boy". The youngest seems to get suspended rather a lot... I can live with that.