How much € should parents take off grown-up children towards their keep per week

professore · 04-08-2014 11:13AM

_Redzer_ wrote: »

The thread is gone on to talk about people expecting young people just out of school to pay their share -so much so to go on to say they should be doing it, forgetting their are other circumstances and that it is a long road.

Some people who might've thrown money down for rent while at home might not chip in to treat their parents down the line or be as generous back to them, while the ones that didn't, now that they're in a position to be more given do so regularly. I know some of my cousins who are very, very generous to their parents in return.
And in the long run, don't they both equal each other anyway?

I wouldn't move out if it was under €100 a week, if it was €100 a week I'd be gone, I'd rather put a bit extra with it and have my independence. Paying that much to live at home without your privacy and own space isn't worth it to me.

Someone too mean to see that they should help out with bills when they have loads of disposable income won't give back a cent later on when they have mortgages and bills to pay.

Recondite49 · 04-08-2014 11:14AM

helimachoptor wrote: »

I also bought a house during the boom.. I'm not that safe a bet!

I think the point is that you had a choice helim - how many others could afford a 10% deposit from a young age? :-D

Dacelonid · 04-08-2014 11:14AM

Recondite49 wrote: »

Hi acon,

I would suggest that you charge €150 for bed and board for someone working a 35 hour week on minimum wage.

While this sounds a large amount, you will be giving your kid a realistic sense of how much it costs "out there" - indeed some people pay a good deal more than this!

Also you don't have to spend the full amount. Anything left over each week you can put into a savings account for your kid for when they move out - they'll need to come up with a deposit and one month's rent after all.

I know other posters may feel that saving up is the young person's responsibility but at least this way they'll have something when they leave.

Also if you don't charge an amount commensurate with the cost of living there's not much incentive for them to fly the nest! :-)

Yep, this is what I would suggest too.
I see it the whole time with the in-laws. My brother-in-law is 33 years of age and still living at home (as in has never moved out) as his mother keeps treating him like he is a teenager, so he gets all his dinners handed up to him, all his washing done, lifts everywhere etc. He has never bothered to get a job as he never has to pay for anything.
If he had to pay rent, then his outlook would change dramatically.

professore · 04-08-2014 11:14AM

Find out what student digs cost and charge that.

oppenheimer1 · 04-08-2014 11:27AM

Recondite49 wrote: »

Well said Joey, also this emphasises the point that others have made earlier, myself included - if the parent doesn't charge something in line with the cost of living then the adult child hasn't much incentive to move out.

However as I said, there's nothing preventing the parent from putting a portion of that money aside e.g into a savings account to help their child move into their own place when the time comes.

Nonsense. If I lived at home I wouldn't have to help out (though I would) and I still wouldn't move back home unless I was broke. There are plenty of incentives to leave the nest, having your own space is one of them.

I really don't understand the mentality of some parents, get out once you're 18. It's unnecessarily harsh and alienating IMO.

Awkward Badger · 04-08-2014 12:10PM

Frank Lee Midere wrote: »

Their home? Nonsense. They don't own it.

Doesn't matter if they don't own it, its their home, where they live, where they have likely lived all their lives. You'd want to be one stingy cúnt to turn around and make them rent their own room in their own home off you. They are still your children ffs.

Asking them to pay their way is one thing, taking them for whatever you can get is something else.

darkpagandeath · 04-08-2014 04:04PM

oppenheimer1 wrote: »

Nonsense. If I lived at home I wouldn't have to help out (though I would) and I still wouldn't move back home unless I was broke. There are plenty of incentives to leave the nest, having your own space is one of them.

I really don't understand the mentality of some parents, get out once you're 18. It's unnecessarily harsh and alienating IMO.

When do you cut the apron strings ? When your 35 still living in your room playing wow ? Most people of my age when they were 18 wanted to get out of the family home asap.

darkpagandeath · 04-08-2014 04:05PM

Awkward Badger wrote: »

Doesn't matter if they don't own it, its their home, where they live, where they have likely lived all their lives. You'd want to be one stingy cúnt to turn around and make them rent their own room in their own home off you. They are still your children ffs.

Asking them to pay their way is one thing, taking them for whatever you can get is something else.

How has this gone from being asked to pay your fair share when you are working. To parents standing outside your bedroom door going on about some kind of hall tax. No one has suggested any more than paying for what you use.

04-08-2014 05:51PM

darkpagandeath wrote: »

When do you cut the apron strings ? When your 35 still living in your room playing wow ? Most people of my age when they were 18 wanted to get out of the family home asap.

On the other hand a lot of people enjoy living at home and don't get the obsession of people wanting to move the minute they hit 18. I moved out at 24 and only did so because I had to move to far away to commute. I would have stayed living at home until I was buying my own place had I stayed in the area and if I move back to my home area now (at 29) I would be moving back in home without a doubt in order to save more money rather than wasting it on rent until I was buying a place myself. I have a number of friends who are just moving out now that they have bought houses and are getting married, thus never wasting money on rent.

I would look on my home house as mine (as would my parents) and would think it was the height of madness to even suggest paying rent, they would much rather I kept the money and saved it or spent it on things I wanted myself.

_Redzer_ · 04-08-2014 06:52PM

professore wrote: »

Someone too mean to see that they should help out with bills when they have loads of disposable income won't give back a cent later on when they have mortgages and bills to pay.

And you know this how?

If anything from what I've seen, it's the other way around. They've paid their own way, why should they be floating mom and dad along too is the general mentality -which is a very "manage your own money and I'll look after mine own" sort of arrangement.

04-08-2014 07:25PM

I don't understand how people live at home by choice after they finish college/school. I know people in their late 20s living at home even though they have a job. Their parents do their cooking and cleaning and everything for them! Sorry to be harsh but do people just not want to get some independence and grow up?!

If I go home for even 2 days I start to crack up a bit. And my Mother is very laid back. Not a hope could I live at home again, unless I really had to for whatever reason.

Tarzana · 04-08-2014 08:42PM

acon2119 wrote: »

How much is the average amount of money grown up kids living with their parents pay towards their keep per week. I have a 20 year old who had a few part time jobs with varying amounts of hours per week and I have never took money from them so far but now they are starting a job working 35 hrs per week at minimum wage and I really could do with them contributing to their share a bit as money is very tight. This 20 yr old has a car which the running of it is fully financed by themselves. I would love to hear an opinion from other parents in this situation.

Their share of bills, and groceries if they don't buy their own food. Plus a bit extra for rent. No reason why they shouldn't contribute to the running of the household as they are adding to the bills.

candy-gal1 · 04-08-2014 08:48PM

One thing I would add to this is, pending on how much freedom per se you had in your family home should be a factor on how much you contribute to the family home, well I think so anyway

Aka, are you allowed do as you would with your own place, bring the bf/gf home and stay in your room for the night/few nights, or one night stands whenever you choose, or even walk around naked if you so choose, not have to say when youll be home etc, be drunk or hungover or whatever whenever youd like?! things like that imho are reasons to which I would want to move out to my own place, not all the reasons but definitly some of

If all these things, and whatever you yourself consider freedom, are all fine when living at home, plus your place is housekeeped with whatever is needed then yes some money for housekeeping and maybe towards bills also could be a good idea and good to do, but other than that I dont really see why you would tbh

Tarzana · 04-08-2014 08:54PM

Kash Noisy Room wrote: »

+100

Never heard of people paying to live in their own home in their own room until I say threads about it on here. It very much surprised me that it happens.

There is no way I'd be allowed to pay "rent" if I was living at home (nor did I when I lived at home), if I tried I'd find it transferred back into my account.

Not paying rent is one thing, but why on earth would a working grown adult not contribute to bills they are helping run up or for services they are using?

My name is URL · 04-08-2014 08:55PM

Lia_lia wrote: »

I don't understand how people live at home by choice after they finish college/school. I know people in their late 20s living at home even though they have a job. Their parents do their cooking and cleaning and everything for them! Sorry to be harsh but do people just not want to get some independence and grow up?!

In some cases it probably makes a bit of sense. I know a lad in his thirties that lives at 'home'.. his girlfriend lives there too. It's a big house and if they weren't there it'd just be the auld fella on his own and he probably couldn't afford to keep the place.

Sure your man could sell up and move to a smaller place but if he doesn't want to, and if the man's son has an eye on inheriting the house then it pays them both to do it their way.

Awkward Badger · 04-08-2014 09:03PM

darkpagandeath wrote: »

How has this gone from being asked to pay your fair share when you are working. To parents standing outside your bedroom door going on about some kind of hall tax. No one has suggested any more than paying for what you use.

My post was in relation to someone asking about why they shouldn't pay rent on top of everything else.

LenaClaire · 04-08-2014 10:06PM

While I was in school I did not pay anything, but as soon as I graduated from college I paid my mom 300/month for room and board. I was only there for about 6 months until I found a solid job (was doing temp work in the interim) and a house share.

My parents were pretty strict on work, during school year, no job allowed as I was supposed to focus on schoolwork, but every school break I was expected to have a job and save up for college or things I needed during the school year.

Pepsimax22 · 04-08-2014 10:17PM

I reckon that it depends on how much hot water they use cos like, hot water ain't cheap. My 6 year old daughter was using too much hot water so I rationed her food.UNGRATEFUL BRAT!!!!!!!3

The Mig · 04-08-2014 11:46PM

I pay €300 a month to my mother. I get dinner everyday, washing done, my own room with UPC digital. I'll be there for as long as possible :pac:

Shakespeare's Sister · 05-08-2014 12:33AM

Recondite49 wrote: »

If you want to help your kids, like I said, charge them an amount they would realistically pay if they renting their own place - you can always keep some back to give them when they finally move on...
... €150 a week is fair for someone on the minimum wage. If as a parent you put 100 towards essentials and keep 50 back- that means after six months you'll have 1200 to pay towards the deposit and first month's rent on a house share or apartment.

That means after six months you can enable your adult child to take control of their own life.

Of course if your kid wants to save more than this out of their wages and move out sooner, so much the better! :-)

I really don't see the need for a set lump sum per month that could be worth more than their share. Payment towards their share of bills and other household expenses is more than enough. Let them set up their own bank account for savings. I'm not sure how handing money up to parents for them to save for you is "helping"; seems like a form of dependency to me. And is very much treating an adult like a child.

helimachoptor wrote: »

I don't think that's extreme, once you're a "grown up" when you add in rent, gas, electricity, food, TV, BB etc that in a lot of cases will be more than 30%.

And those bills still have to be paid if you are on hols!

But the person who's on holidays isn't there for bills that cover the duration of their holiday.

Parents overcharging their kids because "that's what they'd be charged in rented accommodation" are completely screwing their kids out of money. Charge them exactly what they owe, not a cent more. That was the way for me, and I am also good at budgeting.

darkpagandeath wrote: »

When do you cut the apron strings ? When your 35 still living in your room playing wow ?

No? When working full-time.

Kash Noisy Room wrote: »

I would look on my home house as mine (as would my parents) and would think it was the height of madness to even suggest paying rent, they would much rather I kept the money and saved it or spent it on things I wanted myself.

What about bills? My parents' place is my family home and I was always welcome to stay there for as long as needed, and there was none of that "Out the door at 18" stuff, but it's their house.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater · 05-08-2014 12:40AM

If he's earning around 300 notes, then I'd suggest that €40 per week plus his share of electric/TV/internet bills. If you do the shopping for the house then he should pay his way there too, unless he does his own.

Young Blood · 05-08-2014 12:53AM

Isn't there a legal aspect to all of this.

Say if a child decides to live at home and pay rent for 5-10 years and the parents die and leave the house to be distributed to all the children, won't that child who was paying rent claim a larger equity in the house?

If that is the case, then some parents might have to reconsider accepting rent from their children.

c_man · 05-08-2014 01:51AM

Magaggie wrote: »

I really don't see the need for a set lump sum per month that could be worth more than their share.

Exactly. I mean it's a sign of trust in the kid for them to show their maturity for the parents to allow them to decide how much they should hand up. Or at least I think so.

Hotfail.com · 05-08-2014 02:29AM

Young Blood wrote: »

Isn't there a legal aspect to all of this.

Say if a child decides to live at home and pay rent for 5-10 years and the parents die and leave the house to be distributed to all the children, won't that child who was paying rent claim a larger equity in the house?

If that is the case, then some parents might have to reconsider accepting rent from their children.

Do people actually call this money "rent" though? All I'd consider it is paying mam and dad so I can have the privilege of staying at home, wouldn't consider it paying rent tbh.

Ranchu · 05-08-2014 02:42AM

Hotfail.com wrote: »

Do people actually call this money "rent" though? All I'd consider it is paying mam and dad so I can have the privilege of staying at home, wouldn't consider it paying rent tbh.

If you're handing over €300 quid a month I'd consider it rent. Don't think it would legally be considered rent unless the parent is registered with the PRTB and is paying tax on it though.

Hotfail.com · 05-08-2014 02:47AM

Ranchu wrote: »

If you're handing over €300 quid a month I'd consider it rent. Don't think it would legally be considered rent unless the parent is registered with the PRTB and is paying tax on it though.

Yeah that's basically what I meant.

Young Blood · 05-08-2014 04:06AM

Ranchu wrote: »

If you're handing over €300 quid a month I'd consider it rent. Don't think it would legally be considered rent unless the parent is registered with the PRTB and is paying tax on it though.

A tenant living with a landlord wouldn't be registered with the PRTB

Recondite49 · 05-08-2014 07:58AM

oppenheimer1 wrote: »

Nonsense. If I lived at home I wouldn't have to help out (though I would) and I still wouldn't move back home unless I was broke. There are plenty of incentives to leave the nest, having your own space is one of them.

I really don't understand the mentality of some parents, get out once you're 18. It's unnecessarily harsh and alienating IMO.

Who said anything about moving out when you're 18? So long as the adult child pays rent in line with the cost of living. . .

Also if having your own space was sufficient incentive in itself we wouldn't see so many kids choosing to live with their folks on the cheap.

Like I said the way I suggested, the young adult will have enough to move into their own place. :-)

Recondite49 · 05-08-2014 08:06AM

Magaggie wrote: »

I really don't see the need for a set lump sum per month that could be worth more than their share. Payment towards their share of bills and other household expenses is more than enough. Let them set up their own bank account for savings. I'm not sure how handing money up to parents for them to save for you is "helping"; seems like a form of dependency to me. And is very much treating an adult like a child.

But the person who's on holidays isn't there for bills that cover the duration of their holiday.
Parents overcharging their kids because "that's what they'd be charged in rented accommodation" are completely screwing their kids out of money.

Hi magaggie,

I applaud your faith in the younger generation but not your common sense.

It is very easy for people New to earning a wage to overspend. This temptation becomes greater if they're only paying a nominal rent.

If the kids really were so debonair and independent, it's doubtful they'd be coming to live with Mummy and Daddy in the first place.

The system I've suggested includes a small component for actual expenses and a larger one for savings. This gives the parent more control over when their child moves out rather than having that awkward conversation every few weeks, only for them to shrug and say 'I can't afford it.'

It's not exploitative or patronising, it's simply a way to help your kid budget and establish a time frame for when they'll move out.

I did this for my younger brother when he came to stay with me after a year abroad 'finding himself' and it enabled him to get back on track with his finances and his life.

Recondite49 · 05-08-2014 08:24AM

The Mig wrote: »

I pay €300 a month to my mother. I get dinner everyday, washing done, my own room with UPC digital. I'll be there for as long as possible :pac:

I rest my case . . . :-D

How much € should parents take off grown-up children towards their keep per week

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