Going rate for wedding present these days?

Sir Arthur Daley · 19-12-2013 02:31AM

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

Giving cash is grand - it's what I always give. I think people are just objecting to the notion that a person is a freeloader or tight if they don't give a certain amount, when it's often simply the case that they can't afford it. And this should not be an issue to any bride/groom, seeing as guests should ideally be people they want to have there, rather than bodies to reimburse the costs of the wedding - which the bride/groom choose to have.

I have no doubt that most people would like to be as generous as they can afford to be, and that is plenty.

That is fair enough but it would be better to buy a gift for 10 euro as a present than put 10 euro in cash into the envelope, we all know people don't have weddings to run a profit but it is nice to appreciate an invite and give as generous as one can.

beauf · 19-12-2013 02:31AM

WikiHow wrote: »

P....they have to pay for it some way i dont think the hotel would accept 40 George foremans or 20 kettles and 19 ironing boards as payment, at the end of the day we have to be practical about it...

Practical is have a wedding within your means. Not expect others to pay for it, and not on a gamble you'll be gifted enough.

Sir Arthur Daley · 19-12-2013 02:33AM

April O Neill II wrote: »

Well no, couples tend to pay for the party they are hosting and inviting people to with money. Can't afford it without gifts? Don't do it. As said earlier, it costs 150 euro to get married in this country. That's all. Anything else is an extra.

The priest down my way charges 300 for the sermon alone.

April O Neill II · 19-12-2013 02:52AM

WikiHow wrote: »

The priest down my way charges 300 for the sermon alone.

You don't need a priest. And if you do, 500 euro in total max so.

Electric Sheep · 19-12-2013 03:30AM

WikiHow wrote: »

The priest down my way charges 300 for the sermon alone.

And he gets to attend the reception for free;)

SV · 19-12-2013 03:32AM

WikiHow wrote: »

That is fair enough but it would be better to buy a gift for 10 euro as a present than put 10 euro in cash into the envelope, we all know people don't have weddings to run a profit but it is nice to appreciate an invite and give as generous as one can.

It's not nice, it's silly.

It makes absolutely no sense.

Electric Sheep · 19-12-2013 03:41AM

WikiHow wrote: »

People are taking this away too serious altogether, there will be a difference in opinions on how much cash is appropriate or should a gift be a better solution or a George foreman, ur being invited to a wedding it is costing the hosts over 50 euro per head, they have to pay for it some way i dont think the hotel would accept 40 George foremans or 20 kettles and 19 ironing boards as payment, at the end of the day we have to be practical about it.

In the old days (the80s) engaged couples usually saved for a deposit on a house, and the price of the wedding. They didn't get married until they had saved enough. Cash gifts were unusual. Weddings as a result were a lot smaller and simpler.

That of course was before Generation Selfie had to be the center of a whole wedding weekend, not to mention stag and hen weekends.:rolleyes:

RainyDay · 19-12-2013 10:03AM

I was amazed to see this week's 'Franc Wedding' on RTE (don't ask) had a couple spending €20k on their wedding in the fairly posh Carton House, who were up to 2am on the night before the wedding farting around with fiddly things on tables and chairs to make the experience 'Franc' special. Why not spend €15k on a slightly less posh venue, €5k on some head-up-her-own-ass interior designer to fiddle around with fiddly things on chairs and tables, and get a decent night's sleep before the wedding?

Strange priorities...

19-12-2013 10:09AM

Electric Sheep wrote: »

In the old days (the80s) engaged couples usually saved for a deposit on a house, and the price of the wedding. They didn't get married until they had saved enough. Cash gifts were unusual. Weddings as a result were a lot smaller and simpler.

That of course was before Generation Selfie had to be the center of a whole wedding weekend, not to mention stag and hen weekends.:rolleyes:

Wasn't the father of the bride paying for the wedding the way it was done back in the day!

BabysCoffee · 19-12-2013 10:45AM

WikiHow wrote: »

People are taking this away too serious altogether, there will be a difference in opinions on how much cash is appropriate or should a gift be a better solution or a George foreman, ur being invited to a wedding it is costing the hosts over 50 euro per head, they have to pay for it some way i dont think the hotel would accept 40 George foremans or 20 kettles and 19 ironing boards as payment, at the end of the day we have to be practical about it.

The couple hosting should save up for a few years before having their wedding.

Why should invited guests pay for the wedding???

If I am having a party/celebration etc I pay for it myself.

krudler · 19-12-2013 12:04PM

Can't stand the wedding politics myself, been to two weddings this past year and one of them was out in the sticks so between the hotel, new clothes for it, getting to and from it and drinks that night it was 200+ for that alone then the gift on top of that, was at the stag party too which was another 200 easy on top of that. So I gave what I could afford in a card and the couple were more than happy with it.

Attending weddings can cost a lot, so if you're expecting people to fork out a set amount even after they've traveled and attended other functions around the day then hey, plan a cheaper wedding.

The best wedding I was ever at was also the cheapest for the couple involved, friends were the band, it was in a pub funtion room instead of a hotel and it was in a city centre instead of out in some golf resort so people didnt have to spend a fortune getting home, and it was a brilliant night that wasn't a cookie cutter Irish wedding.

robinph · 19-12-2013 12:26PM

WikiHow wrote: »

People are taking this away too serious altogether, there will be a difference in opinions on how much cash is appropriate or should a gift be a better solution or a George foreman, ur being invited to a wedding it is costing the hosts over 50 euro per head, they have to pay for it some way i dont think the hotel would accept 40 George foremans or 20 kettles and 19 ironing boards as payment, at the end of the day we have to be practical about it.

If you can't afford the costs of your party then you should be selling tickets at the door, and not giving people invitations. See how many people turn up if they have to buy tickets to go to a wedding.

If it's your party then you pay for it, and be grateful for any small tokens that the people coming to celebrate with you may, or may not, bring with them.

awec · 19-12-2013 12:26PM

Yea, and there are plenty of couples who try and put on this amazing wedding because they want it to be one that everyone remembers - as if they're trying to outdo everyone else.

Of course, everyone forgets because it turns out to be little different from virtually every other irish wedding.

DebDynamite · 19-12-2013 02:37PM

ulinbac wrote: »

This crap of inviting 200+ just for money or one-upmanship like "I invited more people to my wedding than you, "I received more money than you" or "I gave a bigger present than you" is quite sad and not representative of the day.

Or the "We "made" X amount of money on our wedding".

Also, nothing worse than seeing couples going upstairs to take the money out of the cards to pay for the band and DJ later on. Tacky in the extreme.

krudler · 19-12-2013 02:39PM

awec wrote: »

Yea, and there are plenty of couples who try and put on this amazing wedding because they want it to be one that everyone remembers - as if they're trying to outdo everyone else.

Of course, everyone forgets because it turns out to be little different from virtually every other irish wedding.

One of my cousins is a hotel manager so she's been part of the planning of literally hundreds of weddings over the years and she said the same, they're nearly all identical.

pedanticpat · 19-12-2013 02:57PM

April O Neill II wrote: »

Well no, couples tend to pay for the party they are hosting and inviting people to with money. Can't afford it without gifts? Don't do it. As said earlier, it costs 150 euro to get married in this country. That's all. Anything else is an extra.

Well, the flat rate for registration is €200, so you're already way off.

DebDynamite · 19-12-2013 03:00PM

pedanticpat wrote: »

Well, the flat rate for registration is €200, so you're already way off.

That was me that said €150 earlier in the thread. Apologies, €200 so. Still a long was from €30k.

sparksfly · 19-12-2013 03:16PM

awec wrote: »

The "cover the cost of the meal" thing is pretty funny too.

If you expect your guests to cover the cost of their meal then you may as well just charge them as they come in the door.

The price of the meal and the value of the gift should not be linked in any way. Pay for whatever meal you can afford, and guests bring whatever gift they deem they can afford. There should be no expectation that guests cover their own costs.

100% common sense post.

RainyDay · 19-12-2013 03:22PM

krudler wrote: »

One of my cousins is a hotel manager so she's been part of the planning of literally hundreds of weddings over the years and she said the same, they're nearly all identical.

Like this, maybe?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzKfcaKCevk

anncoates · 19-12-2013 03:38PM

To be fair, I don't think the majority of wedding couples are losing sleep about Internet hipster evaluations of how unique their event is, rather just getting family and friends together for a standard meal and piss up.

Electric Sheep · 19-12-2013 04:15PM

Chanel Bald Sortie wrote: »

Wasn't the father of the bride paying for the wedding the way it was done back in the day!

Maybe if Daddy was a solicitor. For the working class and lower middle class, families were large and incomes were small. I don't know anyone whole parents paid for their wedding in the 80s. There were more important things for their parents to pay for, like food and shelter.

tomboylady · 19-12-2013 04:23PM

I haven't had any weddings this year thankfully. I went to two last year. I gave a £100 voucher for a homewares store to the first couple as they were just in the process of moving into a house they had bought. For the second wedding I gave €100 and a small gift (€30-ish). I went by myself so didn't feel like I needed to give more. Plus, I couldn't have afforded more at that very time.

Where do we stand on gifts if you've been invited but are not attending the wedding?

Slaygal · 19-12-2013 04:38PM

I'm utter shocked. I perhaps naively thought that when a couple get married they invite their family and friends along to share their wedding day.

I didn't realize it was a way to make money.

.jacksparrow. · 19-12-2013 04:49PM

krudler wrote: »

One of my cousins is a hotel manager so she's been part of the planning of literally hundreds of weddings over the years and she said the same, they're nearly all identical.

This literally makes so much sense it doesn't.

Who would have known most weddings end up been like... Well most weddings.

Joe its a disgrace I tell ya.

19-12-2013 04:49PM

Slaygal wrote: »

I'm utter shocked. I perhaps naively thought that when a couple get married they invite their family and friends along to share their wedding day.

I didn't realize it was a way to make money.

You are not inviting them for the money but there is no point in pretending you aren't going to get it.

It's not like wedding is the only place you make an assumption. For instance I always get some money presents around Christmas from some relatives and my birthday is a few weeks after Christmas and again I always get some money from people.

Therefore in general I spend more money around Christmas and new year than I could ordinarily afford as I know I will be getting some in presents.

Sir Arthur Daley · 19-12-2013 09:22PM

Chanel Bald Sortie wrote: »

You are not inviting them for the money but there is no point in pretending you aren't going to get it.

It's not like wedding is the only place you make an assumption. For instance I always get some money presents around Christmas from some relatives and my birthday is a few weeks after Christmas and again I always get some money from people.

Therefore in general I spend more money around Christmas and new year than I could ordinarily afford as I know I will be getting some in presents.

This is a very good point and one i think everyone who has a wedding deep down will have to agree with this point.

Electric Sheep · 19-12-2013 10:13PM

tomboylady wrote: »

I haven't had any weddings this year thankfully. I went to two last year. I gave a £100 voucher for a homewares store to the first couple as they were just in the process of moving into a house they had bought. For the second wedding I gave €100 and a small gift (€30-ish). I went by myself so didn't feel like I needed to give more. Plus, I couldn't have afforded more at that very time.

Where do we stand on gifts if you've been invited but are not attending the wedding?

If they are a good friend and the invitation is genuine, not just to make up numbers, I get a nice card and send a small check with it, probably not more than E50 unless they are a very close friend. Then I try to meet up with them after the honeymoon to catch up.

Otherwise, I just send the RSVP.

awec · 20-12-2013 12:20AM

Chanel Bald Sortie wrote: »

You are not inviting them for the money but there is no point in pretending you aren't going to get it.

It's not like wedding is the only place you make an assumption. For instance I always get some money presents around Christmas from some relatives and my birthday is a few weeks after Christmas and again I always get some money from people.

Therefore in general I spend more money around Christmas and new year than I could ordinarily afford as I know I will be getting some in presents.

Do you expect every person who visits your house at Christmas to bring you a gift?

There is no comparison to be made.

kellaman123 · 20-12-2013 12:34AM

I think €150 is pretty standard these days! I think people lost the run of themselves with wedding presents in the boom

Sir Arthur Daley · 20-12-2013 12:35AM

I feel this thread is gone off focus here, the OP asked what the going rate foir wedding present for a family member and in case of what OP mentioned it was a brother, i still by my post of €500 for a brother or sister, €150-€200 for a friend, these figures are for me and my gf. If i was a single guy in the morning i would half these figures.

Going rate for wedding present these days?

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