Going rate for wedding present these days?

awec · 19-12-2013 01:03AM

WikiHow wrote: »

And i wouldn't let them keep the toy from the happy meal either, nothing worse than free loaders at weddings, at low water 50 euro for a guest.

This is the hilarious thing. "Free loaders".

Proof, if ever needed, that some people view weddings as a money raising exercise.

If you don't want to pay for a wedding then don't have one.

awec · 19-12-2013 01:04AM

anncoates wrote: »

Can see why people think cash gifts are crass but I'd prefer to give it than a gift.

So often, gifts are about the giver, that is, what the giver thinks constitutes a unique gift and not what is practical or what the receiving person actually wants.

Fair enough the recent trend in cash gifts may be as much about the cost of crassly indulgent weddings as much as anything but I honestly think a lot of it is a tacit acceptance that no matter how much you think your gift is lovely and unique and special, it basically amounts to anything between 50 - 250 gifts - with dozens of duplicate gifts - for the couple that they either don't want, need or simply have no room for.

This is why wedding lists are great.

So long as your list has a good variety of differently priced items on it!

Sir Arthur Daley · 19-12-2013 01:04AM

anncoates wrote: »

Can see why people think cash gifts are crass but I'd prefer to give it than a gift.

So often, gifts are about the giver, that is, what the giver thinks constitutes a unique gift and not what is practical or what the receiving person actually wants.

Fair enough the recent trend in cash gifts may be as much about the cost of crassly indulgent weddings as much as anything but I honestly think a lot of it is a tacit acceptance that no matter how much you think your gift is lovely and unique and special, it basically amounts to anything between 50 - 250 gifts - with dozens of duplicate gifts - for the couple that they either don't want, need or simply have no room for.

Exactly like what is a couple going to do with 20 toasters, 19 kettles, 8 plate sets, 12 cutlery sets and 4 George foreman. Cash is the way to go.

anncoates · 19-12-2013 01:06AM

awec wrote: »

This is why wedding lists are great.

So long as your list has a good variety of differently priced items on it!

If you're basically telling people what to buy you, it's hardly that far off asking for cash both in terms of bluntness and in contravention of the holy mantra of "unique" gifts.

Not that I agree with asking directly for either. We didn't specify anything for our wedding. I would have been mortified to either ask for cash or make a wedding list.

As a wedding guest, cash gifts are a relief for me tbh and about 90% of our guests appeared to agree.

awec · 19-12-2013 01:08AM

anncoates wrote: »

If you're basically telling people what yo buy you, it's not that far off asking for cash both in terms of bluntness and in contravention of the holy mantra of "unique" gifts.

I don't think it's blunt tbh, I think it's helpful.

It's like a "if you are thinking of getting us a gift, here are a list of items that we need. This helps you know that you are not spending 50 quid on a bread bin that will sit in the attic until the other 5 bread bins we got all break."

I think the secret to a wedding list is to have a huge variety on it, from the gifts that cost a tenner to the gifts that cost a few hundred.

And of course, you aren't forced to buy off it.

The last 2 or 3 weddings I've been at have had gifts and honestly it's far better for guests. Much less hassle, and you don't even have to bring it on the day!

anncoates · 19-12-2013 01:11AM

awec wrote: »

I don't think it's blunt tbh, I think it's helpful.

Fair enough but I'd be mortified to specify what people bought or, indeed, gave in cash.

I really don't see how it's quantitatively different than just asking for the equivalent price of the gift in cash in terms of bluntness.

April O Neill II · 19-12-2013 01:11AM

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

Or you could go and not give a present.

The cost of going abroad to a wedding far outweighs the cost of a gift. Let's not pretend it's like for like here. I'm sure going to a wedding abroad is a great experience, I'd like to experience it some day, but it costs a LOT so I hope I don't get invited to one in the next few years. :P

Crea · 19-12-2013 01:14AM

We did a gift list. Husbands family aren't from Ireland and didn't want to fly in with gifts so asked us to do one. We didn't put the list into the invite though. If anyone asked us what we wanted we told them about it so they could get ideas from that. Prices were from €30 - €200. Most items were under €100

Sir Arthur Daley · 19-12-2013 01:15AM

April O Neill II wrote: »

The cost of going abroad to a wedding far outweighs the cost of a gift. Let's not pretend it's like for like here. I'm sure going to a wedding abroad is a great experience, I'd like to experience it some day, but it costs a LOT so I hope I don't get invited to one in the next few years. :P

Most weddings abroad are small family ones, very few invite 3/4s of the parish with them.

awec · 19-12-2013 01:16AM

Crea wrote: »

We did a gift list. Husbands family aren't from Ireland and didn't want to fly in with gifts so asked us to do one. We didn't put the list into the invite though. If anyone asked us what we wanted we told them about it so they could get ideas from that. Prices were from €30 - €200. Most items were under €100

This is it really. People end up asking what you need anyway.

Crea · 19-12-2013 01:16AM

April O Neill II wrote: »

The cost of going abroad to a wedding far outweighs the cost of a gift. Let's not pretend it's like for like here. I'm sure going to a wedding abroad is a great experience, I'd like to experience it some day, but it costs a LOT so I hope I don't get invited to one in the next few years. :P

My brother is going out with a girl from France. We are all hoping they don't get engaged anytime soon as no one could afford a wedding abroad at the moment.

Sir Arthur Daley · 19-12-2013 01:19AM

One will always find money for unexpected wedding invites, we all spend x amount of money every week on non essentials that could be saved to cover the cost of a wedding.

April O Neill II · 19-12-2013 01:21AM

WikiHow wrote: »

And i wouldn't let them keep the toy from the happy meal either, nothing worse than free loaders at weddings, at low water 50 euro for a guest.

Blatant troll.

Sir Arthur Daley · 19-12-2013 01:23AM

April O Neill II wrote: »

Blatant troll.

I dont know what toy will be in them, is that your guess?

anncoates · 19-12-2013 01:24AM

awec wrote: »

This is it really. People end up asking what you need anyway.

Do they?

In my experience,nobody does/did that but everybody searches high and low for a unique gift for you which is great but you need to rent a lock up to store all the unique gifts in after the wedding.

April O Neill II · 19-12-2013 01:25AM

WikiHow wrote: »

Most weddings abroad are small family ones, very few invite 3/4s of the parish with them.

Eh, no, maybe I didn't make myself clear, I meant the cost of attending a foreign wedding is more expensive to attend than a gift would usually be here for the GUEST. It doesn't matter how many or how few people are invited, the costs are still huge for each individual guest. Couples often talk about how weddings abroad are cheaper. They're not, you're just passing the cost onto your guests.

Sir Arthur Daley · 19-12-2013 01:25AM

April O Neill II wrote: »

Eh, no, maybe I didn't make myself clear, I meant the cost of attending a foreign wedding is more expensive to attend than a gift would usually be here for the GUEST.

ok ok my bad.

April O Neill II · 19-12-2013 01:28AM

WikiHow wrote: »

One will always find money for unexpected wedding invites, we all spend x amount of money every week on non essentials that could be saved to cover the cost of a wedding.

I would never specifically save to attend someone's wedding, it's just not that important to me. I prefer the weekly non-essentials.

awec · 19-12-2013 01:28AM

anncoates wrote: »

Do they?

In my experience,nobody does/did that but everybody searches high and low for a unique gift for you which is great but you need to rent a lock up to store all the unique gifts in after the wedding.

Well I always do!

I'm not married though, so haven't gone through it! :pac:

Sir Arthur Daley · 19-12-2013 01:31AM

If i had not the cash for a present i would look around the home for a present, e.g a nice waterford crystal piece, a kitchen knife set etc, i feel giving a gift would be a nicer way of offering in this case.

monkeynuz · 19-12-2013 01:32AM

My being there is gift enough!

SV · 19-12-2013 01:38AM

Nialler15 wrote: »

About 50??? Your kidding me right?

Last 3 weddings I was at were minimum 100 per head.

Must have been posh weddings so. Three hotels where I live each doing it for 35 a head.

Crea · 19-12-2013 01:39AM

Would people give more money if the wedding was in a very posh hotel rather than a standard hotel?

Sir Arthur Daley · 19-12-2013 01:41AM

SV wrote: »

Must have been posh weddings so. Three hotels where I live each doing it for 35 a head.

You have to factor in more than the hotel.

Sir Arthur Daley · 19-12-2013 01:42AM

Crea wrote: »

Would people give more money if the wedding was in a very posh hotel rather than a standard hotel?

I would think not, just my opinion.

Electric Sheep · 19-12-2013 01:56AM

WikiHow wrote: »

If all i had to bring to a wedding as a gift was 10 euro i would not be expecting a 4 course dinner offered to me or complimentary drinks, a happy meal from MacDonalds is what would be appropriate.

So I am guessing your guest list was based on the ability to pay. Stay classy!

Sir Arthur Daley · 19-12-2013 02:03AM

People are taking this away too serious altogether, there will be a difference in opinions on how much cash is appropriate or should a gift be a better solution or a George foreman, ur being invited to a wedding it is costing the hosts over 50 euro per head, they have to pay for it some way i dont think the hotel would accept 40 George foremans or 20 kettles and 19 ironing boards as payment, at the end of the day we have to be practical about it.

ulinbac · 19-12-2013 02:11AM

Going to my bros wedding in a few months and I am best man.

The couple will get €200 from me max and something else separately for my bro (maybe €50). Can I afford more, yes, but would he expect a large amount, no.

We help each other out in many ways, as well as financially. They do not expect specific amounts as presents and have kept the wedding small, planning it like they will not receive any presents. They are planning what they can afford and having people that they want there. Obviously they will get monetary presents. This crap of inviting 200+ just for money or one-upmanship like "I invited more people to my wedding than you, "I received more money than you" or "I gave a bigger present than you" is quite sad and not representative of the day.

There seems to be the element of keeping up with the Jones' going on saying that I like you better as I gave you this much, or I love my family more based on another amount.

The day is not an income generating exercise. If the couple don't like the amount of a cash present, shame on them. If you are judging your status/relationship with the couple based purely on cash, well then you might need to have a look at yourself. I'm not saying if you earn a lot you should only give €x, what I am saying is that if you or the couple are basing the wedding purely on gifts and cash, there won't be much hope for that marraige or external relationship.

Femme_Fatale · 19-12-2013 02:25AM

WikiHow wrote: »

People are taking this away too serious altogether, there will be a difference in opinions on how much cash is appropriate or should a gift be a better solution or a George foreman, ur being invited to a wedding it is costing the hosts over 50 euro per head, they have to pay for it some way i dont think the hotel would accept 40 George foremans or 20 kettles and 19 ironing boards as payment, at the end of the day we have to be practical about it.

Giving cash is grand - it's what I always give. I think people are just objecting to the notion that a person is a freeloader or tight if they don't give a certain amount, when it's often simply the case that they can't afford it. And this should not be an issue to any bride/groom, seeing as guests should ideally be people they want to have there, rather than bodies to reimburse the costs of the wedding - which the bride/groom choose to have.

I have no doubt that most people would like to be as generous as they can afford to be, and that is plenty.

April O Neill II · 19-12-2013 02:29AM

WikiHow wrote: »

People are taking this away too serious altogether, there will be a difference in opinions on how much cash is appropriate or should a gift be a better solution or a George foreman, ur being invited to a wedding it is costing the hosts over 50 euro per head, they have to pay for it some way i dont think the hotel would accept 40 George foremans or 20 kettles and 19 ironing boards as payment, at the end of the day we have to be practical about it.

Well no, couples tend to pay for the party they are hosting and inviting people to with money. Can't afford it without gifts? Don't do it. As said earlier, it costs 150 euro to get married in this country. That's all. Anything else is an extra.

Going rate for wedding present these days?

Comments