Going rate for wedding present these days?

DebDynamite · 18-12-2013 09:27PM

IK09 wrote: »

The whole idea of a "going rate" is preposterous.

Its generally €50 per person to sit and eat (cost to bride and groom).

If you are not going to cover that dont go. If you are, enjoy the party.

I am getting married next summer and I wouldnt expect anyone to give us more than €100 per couple. I also would not expect the younger crowd to give anything, anyone under 21 is just accepted to not be in a position to give anyone €50.

That said I would be surprised if a couple gave nothing.

If attending a party / dinner party, would you work out how much per head each guest is costing the host and put that amount in an envelope and present it to the host upon arrival?

18-12-2013 09:27PM

DebDynamite wrote: »

Jesus wept.

If your sisters got married in a registry office and booked a pub lunch afterwards for immediate family only, would you still gift the same amount?

It's irrelevant as it wouldn't happen. That's not how we do things in my family.

DebDynamite · 18-12-2013 09:28PM

Chanel Bald Sortie wrote: »

It's irrelevant as it wouldn't happen. That's not how we do things in my family.

Say it was all they could afford though, so could really do with the €1k.

18-12-2013 09:33PM

DebDynamite wrote: »

Say it was all they could afford though, so could really do with the €1k.

You aren't making sense, you ask would I gift them 1k and I say yes. Then you say if they could really do with the money would I still do it?

By the way I'm not saying that's a going rate or anything just what I'd like to be able to give them.

As I said though a registry office and pub reception just wouldn't happen.

DebDynamite · 18-12-2013 09:36PM

Chanel Bald Sortie wrote: »

You aren't making sense, you ask would I gift them 1k and I say yes. The. You say I'd they could really do with the money would I still do it?

By the way I'm not saying that's a going rate or anything just what I'd like to be able to give them.

No I asked you:

If your sisters got married in a registry office and booked a pub lunch afterwards for immediate family only, would you still gift the same amount?

Your answer was:

It's irrelevant as it wouldn't happen. That's not how we do things in my family.

That didn't answer my question.

18-12-2013 09:42PM

DebDynamite wrote: »

No I asked you: Your answer was: That didn't answer my question.

Well yes I would but as I said its an irrelevant question as it wouldn't happen.

DebDynamite · 18-12-2013 09:43PM

Chanel Bald Sortie wrote: »

Well yes I would but as I said its an irrelevant question as it wouldn't happen.

That's fair enough. Thanks for answering.

18-12-2013 09:46PM

DebDynamite wrote: »

That's fair enough. Thanks for answering.

As I said I'm not setting it as a going rate but it's something I'd like to be able to do. I'd have no problem saving over the year or more before hand if I wasn't in a position to just hand over the money.

Santa Cruz · 18-12-2013 10:09PM

Mince Pie wrote: »

€500 as a gift!!! Jesus H Christ! Glad me sister isn't getting married any time soon. But she would never expect me to give that anyway.
How the fook can people afford to give that kind of money as well as the other expense related to attending a wedding?
I personally thought it was supposed to be a celebration and to be spent and shared with people you love and not what you can get from pressies. Maybe I'm naive though.

100 would be the going rate for your sister. At least that's what the lads tell me

Crea · 18-12-2013 10:24PM

For our last 2 family weddings we agreed on an amount to gift: €350. I think that's a fine amount to give. Luckily at the time we were all working and could afford it.
When I got married we got presents which ranged in value from €30 to €500. TBH we were very happy with all our gifts. It didn't matter to us whether the value of the gift matched the value of their meal. The reason we invited them was to have them at our wedding - not for their presents.

dark crystal · 18-12-2013 10:26PM

Santa Cruz wrote: »

100 would be the going rate for your sister. At least that's what the lads tell me

No need for that.

anamara86 · 18-12-2013 11:05PM

I have no problem giving a family member / close friend a nice bit of money for their wedding, but seriously there is no way I could afford to give 500/1000 & I think if one of my siblings gave me that, I'd think they had more money than sense. Surely, you invite those you love to your wedding to share in your special day, not to make a quick buck.

Mince Pie · 18-12-2013 11:21PM

Santa Cruz wrote: »

100 would be the going rate for your sister. At least that's what the lads tell me

What lads would they be now? The spotty 16 year olds who couldn't get their hole if they paid for it? That "joke" is nearly as original as "yer ma". :rolleyes:

Alf Veedersane · 19-12-2013 12:22AM

looking_around wrote: »

If someone "invited" me to a wedding abroad, but expected me to fork out flights etc, I'd tell'em to feck off.

Or you could go and not give a present. What if they invited you rather than 'invited' you? Would you go? We got married abroad and didn't expect any gifts. Part of the reason we got married abroad was it cost us less for travel and accommodation for 2 nights than it did for the previous weddings we went to in Ireland. That said, most people I know dread wedding invitations wherever they are so we were just grateful that those who came were there.

Jamsiek · 19-12-2013 12:25AM

Chanel Bald Sortie wrote: »

You aren't making sense, you ask would I gift them 1k and I say yes. Then you say if they could really do with the money would I still do it?

Very small minority would be in a position to pay that amount though

strobe · 19-12-2013 12:31AM

Get them something you think they'd like. If it costs €10 or €200 so be it.
Anyone that would think badly about a wedding present you gave them, due only to the fact they didn't think it cost enough, are most likely massive assholes that should probably be skinned alive, while people chant "cvnt cvnt cvnt!" at them, for the entertainment of the masses. So who gives a sh1t what they think?

Sir Arthur Daley · 19-12-2013 12:38AM

strobe wrote: »

Get them something you think they'd like. If it costs €10 or €200 so be it.
Anyone that would think badly about a wedding present you gave them, due only to the fact they didn't think it cost enough, are most likely massive assholes that should probably be skinned alive, while people chant "cvnt cvnt cvnt!" at them, for the entertainment of the masses. So who gives a sh1t what they think?

Would you be impressed and happy if all you got was 10 euro each from all your wedding guests?

strobe · 19-12-2013 12:41AM

WikiHow wrote: »

Would you be impressed and happy if all you got was 10 euro each from all your wedding guests?

If I thought it was something they thought I'd like, hence them buying it for me. Yes. Of course.

:eek: ... what has been implied here...

Sir Arthur Daley · 19-12-2013 12:43AM

strobe wrote: »

If I thought it was something they thought I'd like hence them buying it for me. Yes. Of course.

:eek: ... what has been implied here...

I would stay at home and not go to a wedding if all i could give would be 10 euros.

strobe · 19-12-2013 12:46AM

WikiHow wrote: »

I would stay at home and not go to a wedding if all i could give would be 10 euros.

You'd rob them both of your heart felt ten euro gift and also your genuinely well wishing presence at their joyous day of union?

Are you that lad? Whatsisname... Professor Chaos?

ElecKtrA · 19-12-2013 12:47AM

The whole point of weddings is to celebrate a special day in a couples life!!! It should not revolve around money....if you want to give a gift then give something that they will cherish and have with them for the rest of their lives!!! If a couple want to throw a lavish ceremony then leave them off, why should guests be expected to pay for it!

anncoates · 19-12-2013 12:50AM

Usually give 200 for general weddings.

Think I gave 350 to the last good friend that got married.

Neither of my two siblings are married but would give then more in the event of it happening.

Sir Arthur Daley · 19-12-2013 12:51AM

strobe wrote: »

You'd rob them both of your heart felt ten euro gift and also your genuinely well wishing presence at their joyous day of union?

Are you that lad? Whatsisname... Professor Chaos?

If all i had to bring to a wedding as a gift was 10 euro i would not be expecting a 4 course dinner offered to me or complimentary drinks, a happy meal from MacDonalds is what would be appropriate.

awec · 19-12-2013 12:51AM

The "cover the cost of the meal" thing is pretty funny too.

If you expect your guests to cover the cost of their meal then you may as well just charge them as they come in the door.

The price of the meal and the value of the gift should not be linked in any way. Pay for whatever meal you can afford, and guests bring whatever gift they deem they can afford. There should be no expectation that guests cover their own costs.

awec · 19-12-2013 12:53AM

WikiHow wrote: »

If all i had to bring to a wedding as a gift was 10 euro i would not be expecting a 4 course dinner offered to me or complimentary drinks, a happy meal from MacDonalds is what would be appropriate.

You should put that on your invitation.

"If you plan on bringing a tenner you are not welcome to eat the meal. We only want to share our wedding day with people who will throw money at us, you are welcome to come to the dance afterward."

BabysCoffee · 19-12-2013 12:55AM

SV wrote: »

So what you're saying is when guests are invited to something like a wedding, really what they're asking is 'come to this formal event and bring a present for us. Thanks'
Wedding presents are such awful bullshîte and the fact people put a minimum price on them is even worse.

Yup supremely tacky to expect a present of a particular value just because you chose to host a wedding party

Sir Arthur Daley · 19-12-2013 12:56AM

awec wrote: »

You should put that on your invitation.

"If you plan on bringing a tenner you are not welcome to eat the meal. We only want to share our wedding day with people who will throw money at us, you are welcome to come to the dance afterward."

And i wouldn't let them keep the toy from the happy meal either, nothing worse than free loaders at weddings, at low water 50 euro for a guest.

BabysCoffee · 19-12-2013 12:58AM

WikiHow wrote: »

Would you be impressed and happy if all you got was 10 euro each from all your wedding guests?

Yes!

I invited them for their presence not their presents.

SpaceTime · 19-12-2013 01:01AM

For very close friends, siblings and immediate relatives, I might splash out a bit but for anyone else €500 is absolutely crazy.

€100-150 is about as far as I'd go. I'd actually be embarrassed to give someone I didn't know all that well a big gift. I mean, seriously, it's like going "oh look at me I'm trying to buy your friendship or oh! look at me, I'm so wealthy I can drop €500 prezzies around like confetti"

Get a bit real!

anncoates · 19-12-2013 01:02AM

Can see why people think cash gifts are crass but I'd prefer to give it than a gift.

So often, gifts are about the giver, that is, what the giver thinks constitutes a unique gift and not what is practical or what the receiving person actually wants.

Fair enough the recent trend in cash gifts may be as much about the cost of crassly indulgent weddings as much as anything but I honestly think a lot of it is a tacit acceptance that no matter how much you think your gift is lovely and unique and special, it basically amounts to anything between 50 - 250 gifts - with dozens of duplicate gifts - for the couple that they either don't want, need or simply have no room for.

Going rate for wedding present these days?

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