Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Festy wrote: »

Here's a few gems all from the same gob****e ofc


I hope ta have my tattoo of my nickname #shaggyboii done by the new year cant wait get it done ****in buzzin for it


They say sex is good for the heart and they say how person moves ön dancefloor tell how good and fit they can be in the bedroom when get down ta doing the business if that the case the way i keep my self in shape and move on dancefloor makes me ****in #batman in the bedroom just sayin #amen


Just let people no am not in a relatinship with anyone just women acting bolox the day u see going with a girl is the day u see me the buzzer gone softed and whiped and ladies and gentlemen that never going happen live your life and **** the bitches

I presume that Shaggyboi profile is a pisstake, or at least tongue in cheek?
Maybe I'm as blezzed as a single mother on FB but I have never seen anybody post such bastardizations of the english language before, while making constant references to college. Is college a euphemism for something else now?

Saw a good one yesterday on a page my friend commented on, was an event set up by the owner of the page and the event was titled single again and set up for today queue loads of comments "you ok hun xxxx"

crybaby wrote: »

In fairness you were a bit of a drama queen. It's one photo of your baby eating food, your friends aren't going to disown you because a photo of your baby pops up on their news feed. Your cousin's response to the situation was fairly pathetic as well.

Bull****.

If she wanted the picture on Facebook then she would have put it there.

Someone stuck up a pic of themselves sitting at a restaurant table with the caption "Italian food. Excited!"

Thing is, she didn't look excited, she looked bored. And she wasn't even looking at the camera. Besides all that, I don't give a **** where you're having dinner, nobody cares that you went out for Italian food! It had no likes or comments either, it struck me as just a bit sad.

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

I hope everyone has their thermometers at the ready, it's time for weather statuses! Facebook will be sure to let us know when it's snowing

Oh good, cos without Facebook we would never know if its snowing.

Why is it that every time someone changes their relationship status to "In a Relationship", it's immediately followed by a swarm of comments from people who obviously know this person well commenting "OMG, hu is it?!" or "Y didn't u tell me. " or "ur cheatin on me?! :mad:".

And it's usually the same people who do it every time. Seriously, this is less funny than the "im so gay" frapes.

Super-Rush wrote: »

I stuck this on my page the other day.

One of the replies ,

What am I missing here?

My convo with mother... *she calls me*.. Mom- bl bla bla... Me-*drinks hot chocolate* mom-i wish you wouldnt drink while im talking Stacey, you sound awful! Me-whoa tiger, you called me remember, i shall drink my hot chocolate. Mom-im going! I cant talk to you when you drink. Good bye! *puts phone down*. 31 yrs old and STILL she thinks she can tell me what to do. Ahahahha!!! I do believe the words were... 'you can do what you want when you get your own house'. - im standing my ground Mother!- Im drinking my drink in MY house. On MY phone. Sat on MY settee in front of MY fire.

Riveting stuff!! 31 years old and this is whats on her mind!!