Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Lucena

These puns are really scalene out of control!

Super-Rush

Lucena wrote: »

These puns are really scalene out of control!

You're right angle.

Ted_YNWA

It was the angle of the dangle that did the damage.

emz8

"It's officially Christmas, just saw the Coca cola ad, Yay xxxx"

Another 50 of these expected by the end of the week.

Shreddy Krueger

Brilliant status from a friend of mine :

I drew back the curtains. It was a dark, cold, wet Wednesday 6th of november. I battled with myself as usual to get up, stepped in to the shower and used my mother's TREsemmé extra volume shampoo and conditioner, dried my satchel, stepped in to my Calvin Klein's and made my way to the kitchen for some Tropicana and belvita biscuits. Got ready, cleaned my molars and began making my way towards cookstown. I approached the traffic lights and the sound of Taylor swift 22 on my now 85 cd was getting replaced by Dj cammy versus Dj Rankin 2006. I looked in my passenger mirror and seen a car similar to mine coming up my left hand side, I looked across and got a stare from what looked like a member of Ndubz on his way to tech for his btec in shopping at JJB. He nodded his 'with the times' V shaved head from his 1.9 diesel Vauxhall Astra as if he was in fast and the furious racing for pink slips. Suddenly James street had become immersed in a movie scene for this stain on society. He revved his mother's car, surely this can't be good for the economy I thought. The lights turned amber, he took off like a scalded cat with a smug grin on his face, smoke came from the vehicle, the school girls across the road had soiled themselves and it wasn't even 8am. I applied my clutch and entered first gear as Bill Taylor school of motoring taught me to and made my way through the town, by the time I reached the next set of traffic lights I was behind him again so his excessive revving and spinning of tires proved ineffective on this occasion.

Who are these ****.

Czarcasm

Shreddy Krueger wrote: »

Brilliant status from a friend of mine :

I drew back the curtains. It was a dark, cold, wet Wednesday 6th of november. I battled with myself as usual to get up, stepped in to the shower and used my mother's TREsemmé extra volume shampoo and conditioner, dried my satchel, stepped in to my Calvin Klein's and made my way to the kitchen for some Tropicana and belvita biscuits. Got ready, cleaned my molars and began making my way towards cookstown. I approached the traffic lights and the sound of Taylor swift 22 on my now 85 cd was getting replaced by Dj cammy versus Dj Rankin 2006. I looked in my passenger mirror and seen a car similar to mine coming up my left hand side, I looked across and got a stare from what looked like a member of Ndubz on his way to tech for his btec in shopping at JJB. He nodded his 'with the times' V shaved head from his 1.9 diesel Vauxhall Astra as if he was in fast and the furious racing for pink slips. Suddenly James street had become immersed in a movie scene for this stain on society. He revved his mother's car, surely this can't be good for the economy I thought. The lights turned amber, he took off like a scalded cat with a smug grin on his face, smoke came from the vehicle, the school girls across the road had soiled themselves and it wasn't even 8am. I applied my clutch and entered first gear as Bill Taylor school of motoring taught me to and made my way through the town, by the time I reached the next set of traffic lights I was behind him again so his excessive revving and spinning of tires proved ineffective on this occasion.

Who are these ****.

Has to be some sort of an anomaly for this thread?

The first Facebook status I've been able to read and I didn't squint or scratch my head once!

Read it straight through!

Kikin

"So sik of dis ****, cnt take ne more"

This girl posts statuses like these 2 or 3 times a week. With the usual response of "U ok" , "What happened xxx", etc. What's funny about this one she posted yesterday is it has no comments or likes at all yet. Hahaha.

beakerjoe

Kikin wrote: »

"So sik of dis ****, cnt take ne more"

This girl posts statuses like these 2 or 3 times a week. With the usual response of "U ok" , "What happened xxx", etc. What's funny about this one she posted yesterday is it has no comments or likes at all yet. Hahaha.

Things like this make me all warm and fuzzy inside.

kunst nugget

Kikin wrote: »

"So sik of dis ****, cnt take ne more"

I end up reading that in a Glaswegian accent.

Fishyfreak

Here's one that appeared on my Facebook :eek::

"If u dont want anything to do wit the child y look true a computer. To c him. Hes ur loss my gain. Ul have a lot to answer for wen both ur sons reach an age were they will want answers. But i hope the two lad kick the **** outta ye MOVE ON"

coolhull

Fishyfreak wrote: »

Here's one that appeared on my Facebook :eek::

"If u dont want anything to do wit the child y look true a computer. To c him. Hes ur loss my gain. Ul have a lot to answer for wen both ur sons reach an age were they will want answers. But i hope the two lad kick the **** outta ye MOVE ON"

Couldn't she have phoned or texted him? Why put on facebook? Why would the rest of us be interested?

czechlin

Savage Tyrant wrote: »

I f'in HATE those status updates along the lines of...

Repost this if you have a Nanny in heaven... If you have a child and you are the greatest mummy... If you have the best daddy who was always there.... If you have a brilliant sister who is also your best friend... Repost this if you know someone who is passed away but is looking down on you

Seriously. F*CK OFF!!

I second that. Oh and don't forget to repost/put a picture of candle as your profile photo to remember those, who died of cancer, to show respect blah blah.

kunst nugget

coolhull wrote: »

Couldn't she have phoned or texted him? Why put on facebook? Why would the rest of us be interested?

Because a drama isn't a drama until everyone that you know knows it. Everyone knows that. Everyone.

Super-Rush

All my friends r havin babys so to feel like im apart of d gang i gt a puppy its cheaper no pain and it cleans its self ..job!!!

Christ.

ardinn

Well in fairness rush at least she isnt reproducing!

Super-Rush

Yeah but still though.

bohsboy

Saw this today.............

"when u get sick it does not matter how old you are th way i am feeling is all i would lov is to have is my mothe to put her arms aroundme and tell me i will be ok but i no she will give me th will power to give up smokes does not a day goes by i dont think of her your mother is your best friend in life".

Kaiser D

10 Cals Later I Finaly Got A Room 4 Brando's Comunion Was On D Verge Of Sobbn!! Didn Tink It B So Stressful.. Any1 No God Kids Entertainr An Sum1 T Do A Sweet Table?? )

Wtf is a sweet table?

This. Person. Annoys me greatly.

BNMC

Kaiser D wrote: »

Wtf is a sweet table?

This. Person. Annoys me greatly.

I'm guessing a table full of sweets for the little princes and princesses.

I died a little inside reading that.

Wilberto

BNMC wrote: »

I'm guessing a table full of sweets for the little princes and princesses.

Yeah, that's exactly what it is. In fairness, they're actually fierce popular nowadays. Two of my brothers had them at their respective weddings. It's funny because they're mainly for the children but it's largely the adults that keep going up to it and grabbing more!!

Grayson

Someone I know just posted this on their feed. He's always waffling on about sovereignty but this is just nuts.

Wilberto

Grayson wrote: »

Someone I know just posted this on their feed. He's always waffling on about sovereignty but this is just nuts.

Quick google of Anraí O'Raghallaigh's name brings up rather interesting results.

However, Chairman of the IRB isn't one of them! :P

SV

"So me NAME 1 an NAME 2 an no more den 3 feet apart bu yet we all choose to fb each other an every now an again one of us giggle haha wha we lke at all"

What are ye like, at all. I do wonder..

Festy

SV wrote: »

"So me NAME 1 an NAME 2 an no more den 3 feet apart bu yet we all choose to fb each other an every now an again one of us giggle haha wha we lke at all"

What are ye like, at all. I do wonder..

Just Die

yerwanthere123

Festy wrote: »

Just Die

I feel wishing an untimely death on people is a tad harsh.

Kold

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

I feel wishing an untimely death on people is a tad harsh.

Meh. I can dig it.

Grayson

Wilberto wrote: »

Quick google of Anraí O'Raghallaigh's name brings up rather interesting results.

However, Chairman of the IRB isn't one of them! :P

The irony is that this post is now on page 2 of the google search. You've started an infinite loop.

iDave

Grayson wrote: »

Someone I know just posted this on their feed. He's always waffling on about sovereignty but this is just nuts.

Oh the IRB is back, haven't heard from them since 1919.

Dirty basterdin gards pigs c*nts takin crates a drink dey wudnt gway n take de drugs off de junkies no i forgot dey get information off dem rats...pigs basterds gway b do yer jobs ye prvet c*nts!!!!

28 likes :rolleyes:

Followed a few hours later by

Later hommies up ta collect da dowel n get blocked lol

Pherekydes

Hav a read of these short stories for gud giggle der top of de pops gud on ye Rory n gud luck wit de blog mate

This cretin did foundation level English in his LC, yet he still thinks he got an honour.