Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

ivytwine

wildlifeboy wrote: »

Well jesus is also god and the holy spirit who are very much alive you Donkey!

Wildlifeboy 3:16 verse 9

I believe the correct biblical term is 'ass' :P

Custardpi

BNMC wrote: »

From a woman that never worked a day in her life.

To be fair that's a more cogent political analysis than you'll find in many newspapers these days. Also to her credit she at least managed to spell "Government" & "Responsible" correctly, which probably puts her ahead of many elected representatives. Has she considered running for office?

Tetra

"So I have been thinking about my life the last few days; about what it is that I really want. I've after some deliberation, I have made the following list.

1.) Work with my friends to start a multimillion (billion?) dollar business so that I know that I will be stable and self-sufficient for the remainder of my life.
2.) Start going to the gym every day until I get my body weight down to 145 again, and have nice tone. (a 65 lb. loss required to achieve)
3.) Purchase a car within the next 2 months.
4.) Develop my apartment into a home - fully furnished
and finally...
5.) Get MY girl back and be a family with her and her daughter.

Your support and encouragement would be very helpful and appreciated".

Tetra

"You meet someone
take their word..
believe evrything
you've heard

you find the the truth
after the illicit kiss
then panic ...
how did it come to this

When the fog clears
n you see through the lie
a love you have
it won't die

you don't want it too
because you knew
oh my baby..
you got me to
LOVE you xxxx"

wnolan1992

Tetra wrote: »

"You meet someone
take their word..
believe evrything
you've heard

you find the the truth
after the illicit kiss
then panic ...
how did it come to this

When the fog clears
n you see through the lie
a love you have
it won't die

you don't want it too
because you knew
oh my baby..
you got me to
LOVE you xxxx"

Translation required...

Tetra

"Just come back from the school to find some arse hole parked across my drive .. the mood I'm in ... well I've kicked off ... he threaten me all he wants ..****in arse ..... just told him .. touch me ..lay one hand ... next door the other side just witnessed ... funny enuff he's moved his heap of junk ... n Police . yeah.. I wouldn't have been the one getting arrested..far to subtle for that .... he's got a loveyl key scratch down the side of his****in heap though..dunno how that got there ................"

saltyjack silverblade

Tetra wrote: »

"Just come back from the school to find some arse hole parked across my drive .. the mood I'm in ... well I've kicked off ... he threaten me all he wants ..****in arse ..... just told him .. touch me ..lay one hand ... next door the other side just witnessed ... funny enuff he's moved his heap of junk ... n Police . yeah.. I wouldn't have been the one getting arrested..far to subtle for that .... he's got a loveyl key scratch down the side of his****in heap though..dunno how that got there ................"

Call the police! Anonymous number for criminal damage which was admitted to on facebook.

Wilberto

Tetra wrote: »

"You meet someone...............LOVE you xxxx"

Vomit

Pai Mei

Just saw on FB some absolute idiot decided to give a detailed account of their childs first time doing a "wee wee" in the toilet. Dear Christ.

saltyjack silverblade

Pai Mei wrote: »

Just saw on FB some absolute idiot decided to give a detailed account of their childs first time doing a "wee wee" in the toilet. Dear Christ.

Oh please. Let's see their little darling aim straight after a few beers. That takes skill.

coolhull

Tetra wrote: »

"You meet someone
take their word..
believe evrything
you've heard

you find the the truth
after the illicit kiss
then panic ...
how did it come to this

When the fog clears
n you see through the lie
a love you have
it won't die

you don't want it too
because you knew
oh my baby..
you got me to
LOVE you xxxx"

Isn't this Shakespeare's sonnet from 'The Merchant of Venice'?

thegreatgonzo

My Japanese friend had a baby. This is her status as translated by Bing. It's very informative and almost poetic I think.

'In the end, Yoshi's baby was born.
Late 8 days from the scheduled date, yesterday morning, always not-, little testy pain there, intact night until 10 minutes 5 minutes intervals and interval and from followed by the night 10 If you go around hospitals, water broke predicted birth. Oh, born in 3 hours!-! but is on the verge of pain after headache, is a nurse in the multiparous woman's average speed was super easy delivery. I (lol) 1/4 1:29 3122 gram baby birth! face that クシャーッ I I I do not understand, big nose, but big Chan (laughs)'

coolhull

And yet, even translated from Japanese into English,it still makes more sense than some of the sh1te we usually see on Facebook

Stoner

LizT wrote: »

Have one friend who constantly puts up things like
"Today I learned who my real friends are"
"Why are people spreading untrue rumours about me, mind your own business" etc...
Then when people comment asking what's wrong she replies "I don't want to talk about it over facebook" WTF???

I know it's a bit of a zombie, but I hate when these guys post up all this nice thoughtful stuff as part of a rounded caring fb profile, but in real life they are miserable and selfish, you are not their fb friend as their posts make you angry.

But you have many shared friends who also hate their posts but won't defriend them. They know you aren't friends with them in fb so everyone feels the need to phone you tell you about said posts.

Brian_Zeluz

thegreatgonzo wrote: »

'In the end, Yoshi's baby was born.

Huh?

thegreatgonzo

Brian_Zeluz wrote: »

Huh?

Maybe that's where the big chan came from;-)
Her name isn't really Yoshi, I changed it see! Just in case like.

Jimmymcnulty86

The motivational Nelson Mandela quotes being put up by 20 year olds on the dole are getting fairly irritating already

Sky King

Jimmymcnulty86 wrote: »

The motivational Nelson Mandela quotes being put up by 20 year olds on the dole are getting fairly irritating already

My favourite one is about him being so fast that he turned off the light and was in bed before the room was dark. What a legend.

EuskalHerria

Ha, amateurs. I have the trump card of stupid Mandela statuses.

"paul walker-
now nelson mandela! r.i.p!
it just shows it doesnt matter how young or old u are,
your life can end wen u least expect it....
life is precious!!! makes u think"

danslevent

"Rip Nelson Mandela, the next fast and furious won't be the same without ya"

beakerjoe

danslevent wrote: »

"Rip Nelson Mandela, the next fast and furious won't be the same without ya"

Some people! bet it got a fair few likes off idiots

danslevent

beakerjoe wrote: »

Some people! bet it got a fair few likes off idiots

Ha! I am one of those idiots :cool:

Super-Rush

RIP Nelson Mandala.

:mad:

rawn

I don't even...

kunst nugget

rawn wrote: »

I don't even...

It's a fake. From the @DeletedTweets twitter account.

yerwanthere123

rawn wrote: »

I don't even...

Apparently it's fake, which kinda ruins the fun.

rawn

kunst nugget wrote: »

It's a fake. From the @DeletedTweets twitter account.

Aaaah, I figured it was as it says it is - an actual deleted tweet :rolleyes:

BillyMitchel

There's a twitter one that's started the rounds. Looks pretty legit too. It's days RIP Mandela. The Shawshank is my favourite movie. The world will miss your voice.

A Brad Maddox Guy

BillyMitchel wrote: »

There's a twitter one that's started the rounds. Looks pretty legit too. It's days RIP Mandela. The Shawshank is my favourite movie. The world will miss your voice.

Think I know the one you're on about and she's trolling. She retweeted a lad I know who corrected her and then he started getting loads of messages for 'biting'.

BillyMitchel

A Brad Maddox Guy wrote: »

Think I know the one you're on about and she's trolling. She retweeted a lad I know who corrected her and then he started getting loads of messages for 'biting'.

This was some dumb model?? A few famous tweeters had no bother retweeting it. Doubt no one can be that dizzy though.