Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Paddy Cow · 02-09-2013 09:57PM

cantdecide wrote: »

Comments that follow include;

Dave ******** : Fun, bubbly, outgoing, self-starter, self-motivated, keen, enthusiastic, driven, no experience needed, full training given, passion for sales, passion for people, passion for results, passion for getting dry-****ed up the bum when you don't meet your targets after a week or two and spat out into the gutter by yet another impersonal, bureaucratic-styled, outsourced sales agency......very convincing pics posted though, typical recruitment advertising propaganda....

+ Like

Tetra · 03-09-2013 10:58AM

"God.... Give me strength to get thru this day..... Why am i so greedy an av to drink 2 bottles of wine o a school nite... Its not big & its not clever ;("

cableguy.ie · 03-09-2013 11:05AM

Tetra wrote: »

"God.... Give me strength to get thru this day..... Why am i so greedy an av to drink 2 bottles of wine o a school nite... Its not big & its not clever ;("

You would think that teacher's would how to spell.

Custardpi · 03-09-2013 06:59PM

cableguy.ie wrote: »

You would think that teacher's would [missing word] how to spell.

I'm not sure you have sufficient expertise in orthography/coherent writing yourself to be able to tell.

Days 298 · 03-09-2013 08:32PM

"If everyone in the world was as smart as me the world would be a hole lot better."

Liam McPoyle · 03-09-2013 10:35PM

WARNING: VERY SCARY AND TERRIFYING. 18+ DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE OF A SENSITIVE DISPOSITION. IF YOU ARE PREGNANT THEN YOU CAN'T READ.

FINAL WARNING

A FEW YEARS AGO A MAN WAS WALKING DOWN A ROAD BECAUSE HIS CAR BROKE DOWN AND HE SAW A CAR COMING UP BEHIND HIM SO HE STUCK OUT HIS THUMB TO HITCH HIKE AND THE CAR STOPPED AHEAD OF HIM. HE RAN UP TO THE PASSENGER SIDE AND OPENED THE DOOR. WHEN HE OPENED THE DOOR A SKELETON POPPED OUT.

Another gem from my mate.

Festy · 03-09-2013 10:41PM

Goodbye fb mates

:rolleyes:

Custardpi · 03-09-2013 10:48PM

IF YOU ARE PREGNANT THEN YOU CAN'T READ.

Well at least he got the science bit right!

shruikan2553 · 04-09-2013 01:10AM

Coleman Slawski wrote: »

IF YOU ARE PREGNANT THEN YOU CAN'T READ.

I'm a man that has never been pregnant so I dont know the exact details but how does this work?

NegativeCreep · 04-09-2013 01:40AM

Fairly sure it's a joke lads. Relax.

Paddy Cow · 04-09-2013 01:42AM

shruikan2553 wrote: »

I'm a man that has never been pregnant so I dont know the exact details but how does this work?

Basically when you become pregnant, your brain is washed in hormones that render it useless. You will become an emotional wreck only capable of eating all around you. You will barely be able to dress yourself, never mind do anything as complicated as read. Did you not learn that in biology class? :P

Paddy Cow · 04-09-2013 01:44AM

NegativeCreep wrote: »

Fairly sure it's a joke lads. Relax.

More a typo I thought.

RainyDay · 04-09-2013 11:44AM

cableguy.ie wrote: »

You would think that teacher's would how to spell.

The term 'school night' isn't limited to teachers. Many parents of school-going kids would use this term. Why would you assume that the post came from a teacher?

cableguy.ie · 04-09-2013 04:02PM

RainyDay wrote: »

The term 'school night' isn't limited to teachers. Many parents of school-going kids would use this term. Why would you assume that the post came from a teacher?

I didn't. It's just that I thought it would be funnier if it was a teachers comment.

Driveby Dogboy · 04-09-2013 04:11PM

Is it just me, or are there quite a few borderline aspergers people reading and commenting on this thread?

yerwanthere123 · 04-09-2013 04:39PM

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

"Sometimes I ask myself will I ever have a boyfriend...hhmmmm"

Appearing desperate over Facebook probably won't help

Another one went up today:

"My current profile pic is legit the only picture of me where I think I look remotely pretty :P"

Newaglish · 04-09-2013 04:49PM

Driveby Dogboy wrote: »

Is it just me, or are there quite a few borderline aspergers people reading and commenting on this thread?

On an internet forum? I'd be shocked. Shocked! Well... not that shocked

Cunning Stunt · 04-09-2013 04:56PM

I have to admit I LOL'd

''Talking on the phone outside pub, thinking I swallowed a fly - coughed up a wasp ha ha love the Sunday sessions''

sinead88 · 04-09-2013 08:32PM

"Babies smile in their sleep because they're listening to the whispering of angels".....right so.

coolhull · 04-09-2013 09:08PM

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

Another one went up today:

"My current profile pic is legit the only picture of me where I think I look remotely pretty :P"

You should have replied back '' Yeah it's the only time I've ever seen you look even half-decent in a picture too'' :P

kunst nugget · 04-09-2013 09:13PM

sinead88 wrote: »

"Babies smile in their sleep because they're listening to the whispering of angels".....right so.

Tbf, if I could sh1te myself in bed and someone else would clean it up I'd be smiling in my sleep as well.

Tetra · 04-09-2013 10:29PM

"Just been dragged into the ring in the circus by the clown, and broke my watch doin push ups with him.......morto!!"

coolhull · 05-09-2013 12:49AM

Tetra wrote: »

"Just been dragged into the ring in the circus by the clown, and broke my watch doin push ups with him.......morto!!"

Yep, we've all been there, done that......

yerwanthere123 · 05-09-2013 02:46AM

sinead88 wrote: »

"Babies smile in their sleep because they're listening to the whispering of angels".....right so.

Not true. If you were trying to sleep and you heard Angels whispering around you you'd be f*cking terrified.

Festy · 05-09-2013 03:53AM

Festy wrote: »

Goodbye fb mates

:rolleyes:

Update

It lasted a day. :pac:

Billy86 · 05-09-2013 04:10AM

I have a cousin who lives in New York. When I was over visiting her a while back, I wound up getting in with a girl from Arizona. Quite hot, but later after she added me on FB I found out she was also seriously mental in that 'Tea Party' way. This is one of my favourite ones she put up, right before I opted to hide her updates. Granted I doubt she made it, but it's just so remarkably retarded on so many levels!

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/q71/579025_578272852233234_179501031_n.jpg

yerwanthere123 · 05-09-2013 04:19AM

Billy86 wrote: »

I have a cousin who lives in New York. When I was over visiting her a while back, I wound up getting in with a girl from Arizona. Quite hot, but later after she added me on FB I found out she was also seriously mental in that 'Tea Party' was. This is one of my favourite ones she put up, right before I opted to hide her updates. Granted I doubt she made it, but it's just so remarkably retarded on so many levels!

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/q71/579025_578272852233234_179501031_n.jpg

This actually makes me sad.

Grayson · 05-09-2013 07:57AM

Billy86 wrote: »

I have a cousin who lives in New York. When I was over visiting her a while back, I wound up getting in with a girl from Arizona. Quite hot, but later after she added me on FB I found out she was also seriously mental in that 'Tea Party' way. This is one of my favourite ones she put up, right before I opted to hide her updates. Granted I doubt she made it, but it's just so remarkably retarded on so many levels!

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/q71/579025_578272852233234_179501031_n.jpg

One of the girls I work with posted up something about the best way to stop school shootings was to stick every unemployed veteran in a school with a gun.

coolhull · 05-09-2013 08:02AM

Billy86 wrote: »

I have a cousin who lives in New York. When I was over visiting her a while back, I wound up getting in with a girl from Arizona. Quite hot, but later after she added me on FB I found out she was also seriously mental in that 'Tea Party' way. This is one of my favourite ones she put up, right before I opted to hide her updates. Granted I doubt she made it, but it's just so remarkably retarded on so many levels!

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/q71/579025_578272852233234_179501031_n.jpg

I'm due to in into hospital next week, but I think Ill buy myself an assault rifle instead. Its 602 times safer. Them are some good odds there.

everdead.ie · 05-09-2013 12:22PM

Billy86 wrote: »

I have a cousin who lives in New York. When I was over visiting her a while back, I wound up getting in with a girl from Arizona. Quite hot, but later after she added me on FB I found out she was also seriously mental in that 'Tea Party' way. This is one of my favourite ones she put up, right before I opted to hide her updates. Granted I doubt she made it, but it's just so remarkably retarded on so many levels!

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/q71/579025_578272852233234_179501031_n.jpg

Is no one else miffed that they got the maths wrong?

They should be saying it is 603 times more dangerous not 603% more dangerous I mean seriously basic maths if they can't handle that they probably shouldn't participate in arguments over gun control.