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Time to change my life around for the better minus drink.

  • 08-02-2013 6:03pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭


    Hi,
    Just to introduce myself, I'm a male in the late twenties. I have been drinking since my teens but the last couple of years I feel it's getting the better of my. Actually I know it's getting the better of me.

    I consider myself successful in college and also hold down a full time job no problem. But behind that person is someone in turmoil. I usually go out mid week and then on Saturday and Sunday and usually have 10+ pints easily.

    But then it all goes down hill Sunday morning (or usually evening) when I wake with a rotten hangover and mouth like an ash tray. I eat crap during the day and do nothing productive. I suppose the fear kicks in. Monday in work is terrible as I usually wouldn't sleep that well the night before so everything I do in work is a mountain to climb. The same thing on Tuesday. Unsuprisingly Wednesday and Thursday I really enjoy work and every challenge is welcome. Then I meet up with my mates (different circles of friends so not the same people each week) the drinking starts again. And it all starts all over again.

    I suppose I will lay out some of the problems I have drink:
    1. It destroys my relationship with my girlfriend.
    2. I'm in a bad mood around her and that isn't fair as she really is a great person and we get on so well otherwise
    3. My career is being held back because I'm not being consistent enough and I suppose if your out on Thursday night people don't trust you. There are things I can do to climb the ladder but sure I'm too busy in the pub at the weekend or hungover
    4. There has being a few times lately where I cancelled meeting up with people due to being hungover.
    5. I do a few days of exercise and that's all out the window until I recover from my next session.
    6. I feel I don't see the real me when under the influence and there is a lot more to discover if I stay sober long enough
    7. I spending a fortune on booze, I have no bother spending 100 on a night out but then when it comes to shopping I watching what I'm buying. It's pathetic really.
    8. I feel if i stopped drinking that my relationship will go to another level. At the moment there are too many ups and downs to do that. If I stayed sober I have no doubt we move in together next year.
    9. I never do adventurous stuff at the weekend because I'm stuck to the pillow.

    There are a lot more stuff I could post but I will bore ye.

    I decided five days ago to give up drinking alcohol but unfortunately I relapsed last night. After reading a lot of stuff on this forum I realised it's gona be really hard and there are gona be lots of ups and downs. It's how you learn from it is the key. I decided to start filling my time with activities like running (race tomorrow morning), yoga thing middle of the month etc.

    The reason I want to put up this thread is because I want to record how I'm getting on and be true to myself and putting stuff into words is a good way to think about things. I suppose also I would like some advice to help me through this and I know most of ye have done it and you can't beat raw experience.

    Thanks In advanced and have a great weekend.
    Ps cinema tonight so can't wait for that and be nice and fresh fro run tomorrow morning.


«13456714

Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    Best of luck with it man. Need to stop meself.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 391 ✭✭anhedonia


    My story is a lot like yours, got a decent degree, held down fairly decent jobs etc, everything appeared ok on the outside but on the inside I was crumbling. I was a heavy binge drinker / weekend-warrior.

    It all came crashing down on me in my late twenties, and I reached a point where I genuinely didnt want that life anymore, and if you ever truly reach this point then there is actually nothing to give up.

    I also do the AA thing, and it definitely works, but I feel I would still be sober now without AA, maybe just not as happy about it. AA is a program for living, quitting drinking is the easy part. I went to my first meeting about a month after I quit, partly out of boredom, and partly to see how other people dealt with this, and possibly make friends with some non-drinkers, and I heard a good message, so I stayed and continue to go once a week, and it keeps it green for me. I was told to take what works and leave the rest at the door, and was told that I could get a full refund on my misery if it didnt work out :)

    Coming up on a year off the drink now, and its without doubt the best thing Ive ever done. The benefits are huge. You couldnt pay me to go back.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 734 ✭✭✭Tom_Cruise


    Sounds pretty similar to me.

    Get drunk the weekends,cant sleep on a Sunday night, wrecked all day Monday and Tuesday, start feeling better Wednesday and feeling great by Thursday - just in time for the weekend. Also worrying about my health and wondering why im always broke or dont have money for new clothes/bills etc but there's always plenty of money for alcohol.

    Pretty much how most people who drink regularly feel i think.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 391 ✭✭anhedonia


    Tom_Cruise wrote: »
    Sounds pretty similar to me.

    Get drunk the weekends,cant sleep on a Sunday night, wrecked all day Monday and Tuesday, start feeling better Wednesday and feeling great by Thursday - just in time for the weekend.

    suicidal at the beginning of the week, optimistic mid-week, all guns blazing weekend. Rinse and repeat.

    Its rapid cyclical bipolar disorder :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056876475

    Just posted in the above thread,It may help you and certainly hope it does :)


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,269 ✭✭✭NapoleonInRags


    Hi Mate,

    I think what comes across in your post is a very high level of self awareness and honesty about your relationship with alcohol and its affects on your life. This is a really good place to start.

    I really think you could do with 'de-programming' your mind when it comes to drink and I would highly recommend either the Jason Vale book 'Kick the Drink Easily' or Allen Carr's 'The Easyway to Control Alcohol'.

    I've been off since the new year - after going through much of what you have described and it has been a revelation. The books really help - to such an extent that I am very confident that I will stay off for good!

    Best of luck!


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Hi Mate,

    I think what comes across in your post is a very high level of self awareness and honesty about your relationship with alcohol and its affects on your life. This is a really good place to start.

    I really think you could do with 'de-programming' your mind when it comes to drink and I would highly recommend either the Jason Vale book 'Kick the Drink Easily' or Allen Carr's 'The Easyway to Control Alcohol'.

    I've been off since the new year - after going through much of what you have described and it has been a revelation. The books really help - to such an extent that I am very confident that I will stay off for good!

    Best of luck!


    Thanks Napoleon, I think you are right in the de-programming. Like awarding myself with going out on thr lash. It's very hard to change that kind of thinking thou I find.
    I started Allen Carrs book and they recommend you stay drinking while reading it. I started to get bored of it to be honest. I'll try start it again but i don't like the suggestion you don't quit until you finish reading it. Would you recommend the other book?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 391 ✭✭anhedonia


    I started Allen Carrs book and they recommend you stay drinking while reading it. I started to get bored of it to be honest. I'll try start it again but i don't like the suggestion you don't quit until you finish reading it.

    He only makes the suggestion that you continue smoking/drinking while reading his books because hes worried people will never read the book if they're asked to quit at the beginning.

    To be honest I couldnt finish his alcohol book either, it just didnt ring true with me. I could tell very early on that it was just a carbon copy of his quit smoking book (literally just replacing the word nicotine with alcohol), which I really enjoyed and had great success with. This was fine at the beginning because he still has a great method, which is to first remove the brainwashing, but it quickly became apparent that he had some gross misunderstandings of his subject matter when it came to alcohol.

    For example, in his smoking book he says that the actual physical withdrawals of nicotine are so mild that they are almost imperceptible, afterall we can get 8 hours of sleep each night without being woken by them. He says that the anguish of quitting is entirely mental, which is true. He makes the same claim that the physical withdrawals of alcohol are so mild that they're almost imperceptible, which is just ridiculous and actually a dangerous statement to make. Abrupt cessation of alcohol after a bout of constant drinking can lead to Delerium Tremens which can be fatal. Medical supervision is advised where you will be given a sedative like valium or librium to prevent seizure. Granted most of us are not gonna to be in for some serious DTs when we quit drinking, but even if you have been hammering it all weekend, that Sunday night can see you with heart palpitations, sweats, tremors, anxiety, hyper-realistic nightmares, basically a milder form of DT. To claim that the physical withdrawals of alcohol are imperceptible shows that he has no understanding of alcohol and was clearly never a heavy drinker.

    I dunno about you guys but if im gonna read an expert guide to quitting alcohol, I need that expert to have actually drank alcohol. His smoking book was brilliant, and his method was ingenious, having himself gone from smoking 60 a day to zero. Sadly not so with the alcohol book. Imperceptible? are you fckuing kidding me? that just makes a mockery of every Sunday night I had for the past decade. Yeah his book was a complete fraud and clearly an attempt to milk further cash from his smoking method, and it went straight in the bin after I read that.

    I realise a lot of people in this forum have had great success with the book, and I apologize for the rant, but I had to get that off my chest.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,269 ✭✭✭NapoleonInRags


    Thanks Napoleon, I think you are right in the de-programming. Like awarding myself with going out on thr lash. It's very hard to change that kind of thinking thou I find.
    I started Allen Carrs book and they recommend you stay drinking while reading it. I started to get bored of it to be honest. I'll try start it again but i don't like the suggestion you don't quit until you finish reading it. Would you recommend the other book?

    The books are very very similar - except Jason Vane's is written in a more contemporary and easier style.

    I had already stopped by the time I read them and it made no difference.


  • Registered Users Posts: 221 ✭✭KrustyBurger


    Other posters on here have recommended the www.rational.org website. I like the idea that you separate your real self from your addictive self. It made total sense to me anyway. Hope it helps.


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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 405 ✭✭Econoline Van


    While also being very funny, I've actually found this video has really helped me. Honestly. It's a simple mantra to repeat everytime you think about having a drink.



  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Success so far have being good and bad. I have got a lot of stuff sroted out but a lot more to do. Pretty much jumped off the bandwagon every week at every opportunity. Each time I have improved in some way thou - this time I'm adding AA and I think this will be my most significant step. I was reading an article in the indo at the weekend and some guy mentioned that acceptance is what it came down to for him. I need a process to help me and I'm hopnig this is what I need. Anyone know how and when a sponsor is assigned to you?

    Anyways I'm gona post on this forum twice a day in some way or another just to keep my mind focussed and also I might post my blog.

    Quote for the day
    Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
    Albert Einstein


    Carpet diem


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 734 ✭✭✭Tom_Cruise


    You described my situation perfectly, it could of been me writing that.

    From my experience, you can get away with a lot more in you're teenage years and early twenties. I used to go drinking heavily pretty much every Friday, Saturday and Sunday and the hangovers weren't half as bad as they are now. One good nights drinking these days and its days of depression and negative thoughts.

    Good luck OP, i wish you the best of luck on your journey!


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Looking forward to chilling out this evening and watching the boys in Green doing their stuff.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 262 ✭✭Bench Press


    Success so far have being good and bad. I have got a lot of stuff sroted out but a lot more to do. Pretty much jumped off the bandwagon every week at every opportunity. Each time I have improved in some way thou - this time I'm adding AA and I think this will be my most significant step. I was reading an article in the indo at the weekend and some guy mentioned that acceptance is what it came down to for him. I need a process to help me and I'm hopnig this is what I need. Anyone know how and when a sponsor is assigned to you?

    Anyways I'm gona post on this forum twice a day in some way or another just to keep my mind focussed and also I might post my blog.

    Quote for the day
    Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
    Albert Einstein


    Carpet diem
    just started AA myself, I find it very good, acceptance is very hard and I still find myself sitting there thinking "am I really an alcoholic?" knowing damn well I'm a raging alcoholic


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    just started AA myself, I find it very good, acceptance is very hard and I still find myself sitting there thinking "am I really an alcoholic?" knowing damn well I'm a raging alcoholic

    What type of meeting did you start of in?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 262 ✭✭Bench Press


    What type of meeting did you start of in?
    just started going to open meetings last week, I'm not too well up on all the terminology yet, in fact I just listen at the moment


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Back trying again. Acceptance is something i' m really getting my head around. Also not caring what people think is a big thing. Wish me well .


  • Posts: 8,016 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Back trying again. Acceptance is something i' m really getting my head around. Also not caring what people think is a big thing. Wish me well .

    Good luck

    One thing remember to is this.

    The person you were will drink again, the person you were will have to drink again.

    After this is finally accepted life & your thinking will go in a different direction. Acceptance is the hardest part of recovery but once you get over that hurdle things do start to get easier. So when times suck just say it will be worth it in the end, that's what I did and life has never been as good.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Good luck

    One thing remember to is this.

    The person you were will drink again, the person you were will have to drink again.

    After this is finally accepted life & your thinking will go in a different direction. Acceptance is the hardest part of recovery but once you get over that hurdle things do start to get easier. So when times suck just say it will be worth it in the end, that's what I did and life has never been as good.

    Thanks for the advice KaG.
    The changing myself part is something I have been thinking off. I have lots of stuff in pipeline to keep me busy


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    AA's definition of alcoholism is pretty heavy duty, a three part illness from which only a spiritual experience can set us free.

    1. Physical allergy of the body, meaning 'something' happens once we start to drink, and this is forever. I can never, ever safely drink again.
    2. Obsession of the mind: that 'strange mental twist' that ensures I will always return to think about drink, no matter what (new relationship/job/moving countries/etc) unless I become willing to take some simple actions (Steps)
    3. Spiritual Malady: this is the result of the other two. And this is the reason I must form a relationship with a Higher Power, for "no human power could save us".


    The Story of
    How Many Thousands of Men and Women
    Have Recovered from Alcoholism

    http://anonpress.org/bb/


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Thanks - must download the app. Feel good today so its now i need to be on high alert.



    http://anonpress.org/bb/[/QUOTE]


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    Thanks - must download the app. Feel good today so its now i need to be on high alert.



    http://anonpress.org/bb/

    Early sobriety can be like walking in a whole new world. I had a few slips along the way myself, but have been sober now 12 years continuously, so even someone who loved drinking as much as me can leave it behind. Give yourself a chance at sober adventures, you really will " be amazed before you are halfway through" ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Amazingfun wrote: »
    Early sobriety can be like walking in a whole new world. I had a few slips along the way myself, but have been sober now 12 years continuously, so even someone who loved drinking as much as me can leave it behind. Give yourself a chance at sober adventures, you really will " be amazed before you are halfway through" ;)


    Resisted any temptations today and looking forward to nice Friday and weekend to relax. Got so much work done in last few days - I always had a strong work ethic but over time with drink that gets sucked out of you and all yuor time goes into drinking and in bed hungover.

    So many temptations its 's everywhere you look - mates texting you, works nights out,articles about drink when you go to read paper online. I'm really focussing on myself this time - I don't care what people think or more I'm not thinking about what I think people think about me (if you get me).

    Anyways have a good evening.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    Good stuff :)

    Don't forget there are plenty of meetings all over the place, day and night:

    http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/Information-on-AA/Find-a-Meeting

    Ps: in my really early stages, when it was hard not to drink, I even went to more than one in the same day, lol...


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Amazingfun wrote: »
    Good stuff :)

    Don't forget there are plenty of meetings all over the place, day and night:

    http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/Information-on-AA/Find-a-Meeting

    Ps: in my really early stages, when it was hard not to drink, I even went to more than one in the same day, lol...

    I was traveling through town and it was tough. Its all an illusion the whole drinking and advertising has a lot to do with it. Its ingrained in us that it is associated with being happy. Couldn't be further from truth. Thanks for support guys. Good night


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Had a a great weekend and hope ye all did too. I'm on a good diet at the moment and trying to eat bit less unhealthy stuff even though I was wrecked today.

    I was strong today and didn't give in even though a work thing came up in that involved drinking and even avoided the sweets!
    Hoping for better tomorrow as I didn't feel the best today really. A good sleep should go a long way

    Take care

    PS there definitely is a huge distinction between giving up sweets - sweets just require will power whereas with drink I try not associate giving it up with will power rather the preference to lead a better and controllable life.


  • Posts: 8,016 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]



    I was strong today and didn't give in even though a work thing came up in that involved drinking and even avoided the sweets!
    Hoping for better tomorrow as I didn't feel the best today really. A good sleep should go a long way

    From my experience the days when I am tired with a lack of sleep are the hardest so avoid when you can as that's what I do now!


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Feeling great these days. One thing I have noticed is that I'm not very good talking to people in groups and even individually. I think drinking got rid of the shyness/awkwardness of conversing with people.

    I guess these days I'm more aware. Any ye guys feel same way and if so what did ye do?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,518 ✭✭✭stefan idiot jones


    I thought that I was never the life and soul of the party, but looking back now in my memories of drinking, then yes I was nearly always the loudest, crudest and a really fun, great drunk in company.

    Obviously now that it was the drink knocking down the brazen, over-confident Stefan. Whether it is my age but I really cannot be bothered mixing in large groups either. Yes you do become more aware, not paranoid but your antennae are up and you notice things now that you would be oblivious to before.

    I guess that's this is the 'real' you and don't look at it as a weakness or that you've changed, it's that you have been liberated from the false reality of before. Embrace it and don't go into your shell.

    I am great company and can talk sh!te about a lot of things but I guess I can't be bothered with groups competing for the same airspace that's all.


    It's funny looking back at my life now that I truly forgot so much about how I was and acted when drinking and now it's been so long now that I just take it for granted that I don't drink anymore. I gave up meat twenty four years ago and I don't give it a second thought it's just hardwired in me now I guess the same as the drink, it's just not in my memory banks unless I read peoples stories and remind myself what sh!t I was going through before I quit the liquid depressant.

    Chin up and just watch and observe, you don't have to lead any conversation or fill in the awkward gaps. Just embrace the clarity (you can still have the garlic/cheese chip on the way home though, some habits are impossible to break).


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    Big Book event this weekend in case anyone is interested :)

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/123081624385185/
    Saturday 31st August, Fellowship of The Spirit Ireland Conference in Red Cow Morans Hotel,see attached flier for details. Please SHARE this with anyone you think might be interested.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Feeling good today but very weak mentally. Had an awful temptation on me last night but having plans made saved me. Having a **** day in work didn't help and felt a bit down about whether my work was of high enough standard even though put a lot into it .

    I guess this is where its not fun but I need to stay positive and get over the weekend successfully.


    Nonetheless nice day out and no headache, sickness or guilt so f%uk it things ain't to bad.

    Have good weekend.


  • Posts: 8,016 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Feeling good today but very weak mentally. Had an awful temptation on me last night but having plans made saved me. Having a **** day in work didn't help and felt a bit down about whether my work was of high enough standard even though put a lot into it .

    I guess this is where its not fun but I need to stay positive and get over the weekend successfully.


    Nonetheless nice day out and no headache, sickness or guilt so f%uk it things ain't to bad.

    Have good weekend.

    This is the stuff I struggled with in the early days too. I used to get great relief from work stress with a few pints thinking it was fixing those anxious feelings but the truth is it actually makes it worse. Just remember that when it happens again and it will help, keep to a routine like you are doing and you'll be fine.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    This is the stuff I struggled with in the early days too. I used to get great relief from work stress with a few pints thinking it was fixing those anxious feelings but the truth is it actually makes it worse. Just remember that when it happens again and it will help, keep to a routine like you are doing and you'll be fine.

    Very true about making it worse - just shoving it to one side until Monday again.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Slipped up last night. Variety of reasons . Comments Appreciated. Its definitely when I feel very refreshed and weekend that things can unwind very quickly.

    I'm not gonna dwell too much on it and focus on today. I will post later with update


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    Slipped up last night. Variety of reasons . Comments Appreciated. Its definitely when I feel very refreshed and weekend that things can unwind very quickly.

    I'm not gonna dwell too much on it and focus on today. I will post later with update

    There are loads of AA meetings all over the city today.

    Maybe you ought to consider trying one out ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    I will have to


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    I will have to

    I "had to" as well. And to be honest, I have yet to meet a real drunk that ever went because they wanted to. Every single one I know had pain and fear as initial motivators for going to meetings. I know in my case, it felt like it was going to be the end of all fun times as I knew it. And hell, was I wrong, for what felt like the end, turned out the be the beginning of the best years of my life.
    Funny thing is now, years later, not only do I want to go, I enjoy them.
    The sober life is full of little ironies like this.
    You owe it to yourself to give it a try and have your own experience.

    Maybe ask yourself: what do I have to lose?
    For me, the answer to that question was " absolutely nothing".


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Analyzing where I went wrong today. One of main reasons was not putting myself first. Had a meet up planned with friends - I know I should have just cancelled it. I need to remove myself from any possible temptation and think about my health first and foremost.

    I was also thinking its great to have support like here.

    PS AA tomorrow for me


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,518 ✭✭✭stefan idiot jones


    p.s. great user name.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    p.s. great user name.

    ?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,518 ✭✭✭stefan idiot jones


    ?

    Your user name, unless your parents had a wicked sense of humour ?


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun



    PS AA tomorrow for me

    Can't wait to hear how it goes :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Feeling ok today - trying to get back to normal physically. It takes that much of a toll on me for days and my sleep was a disaster last night. Wakening up sweating etc and not being able to get back to sleep.

    It's made me even more determined not to mess up again is the only positive. Have AA tonight I will go to at least 2 this week. Today and Thursday and possibly Sunday. No more putting it off. Apprehensive about tonight but I have no other choice. Ì want to live my life and that is why I'm doing it.

    I was thinking of mixing it up with Lifering as well? I went a few times before and I liked the idea of it. We discuss your plans for weekend etc and anything that was bothering you. It was forward looking and I liked it. But maybe I should just stick with AA? What do ye think?


  • Posts: 8,016 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Where are you living?


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    PM sent KaG


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    Feeling ok today - trying to get back to normal physically. It takes that much of a toll on me for days and my sleep was a disaster last night. Wakening up sweating etc and not being able to get back to sleep.

    It's made me even more determined not to mess up again is the only positive. Have AA tonight I will go to at least 2 this week. Today and Thursday and possibly Sunday. No more putting it off. Apprehensive about tonight but I have no other choice. Ì want to live my life and that is why I'm doing it.

    I was thinking of mixing it up with Lifering as well? I went a few times before and I liked the idea of it. We discuss your plans for weekend etc and anything that was bothering you. It was forward looking and I liked it. But maybe I should just stick with AA? What do ye think?

    Sometimes I think it is harder now in our age than any other for alcoholics seeking help. There are so many "treatment" choices now that it can be difficult to find where one really 'fits'.

    I can only say this: my experience with AA it that it has worked for me and for many other real drunks, some that I used to drink with, haha, so I am an eyewitness to what it can do in my own life and the lives of others too.
    Also, AA's definition of alcoholism rang true for me, whereas I found other's didn't really speak to my own experience, particularly anyone that counsels 'moderation'.....for me, only absolute abstinence from alcohol has proved successful.

    So I guess it's up to you. Whatever you do, don't get too confused and then invoke the alkie's favorite slogan "F*CK IT" ;)

    Ps: this book is Free today for anyone interested. I found it quite good, but again, to each his own:


    http://www.amazon.com/Real-Meditation-Alcoholics-those-love/dp/1481118722/ref=la_B00AYKLFFK_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1357766026&sr=1-1


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    I went to a meeting last night and I must say I liked it.

    So much stuff rang true in my head it wasn't even funny.

    I'll get to one tomorrow as well and big book on Sunday. I think this could be the tunnel where I see the light.

    It takes an hour or so but compared to how long you spend in a pub or hungover in bed it is some investment.


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,439 Mod ✭✭✭✭xzanti


    Feeling great these days. One thing I have noticed is that I'm not very good talking to people in groups and even individually. I think drinking got rid of the shyness/awkwardness of conversing with people.

    I guess these days I'm more aware. Any ye guys feel same way

    Absolutely.. But I don't think it's any great revelation that shy people tend to use alcohol and drugs as something of a crutch in social settings..
    and if so what did ye do[/B]?

    All we can do is try to work on ourselves.. a little at a time.. and remember it's not a crime to be a bit quiet or introvert.. at least this way we are being ourselves, no pretense or bravado to have to live up to.. just being a real person.. flaws and all.. there's a lot to be said for it imho.

    Best of luck..


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Going back tomorrow during day as I have day off work. Actually looking forward to it. Doubt I will speak bit rather listen and think.


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