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Time to change my life around for the better minus drink.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭ Amazingfun


    Big Book event this weekend in case anyone is interested :)

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/123081624385185/
    Saturday 31st August, Fellowship of The Spirit Ireland Conference in Red Cow Morans Hotel,see attached flier for details. Please SHARE this with anyone you think might be interested.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    Feeling good today but very weak mentally. Had an awful temptation on me last night but having plans made saved me. Having a **** day in work didn't help and felt a bit down about whether my work was of high enough standard even though put a lot into it .

    I guess this is where its not fun but I need to stay positive and get over the weekend successfully.


    Nonetheless nice day out and no headache, sickness or guilt so f%uk it things ain't to bad.

    Have good weekend.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,095 KaG


    Feeling good today but very weak mentally. Had an awful temptation on me last night but having plans made saved me. Having a **** day in work didn't help and felt a bit down about whether my work was of high enough standard even though put a lot into it .

    I guess this is where its not fun but I need to stay positive and get over the weekend successfully.


    Nonetheless nice day out and no headache, sickness or guilt so f%uk it things ain't to bad.

    Have good weekend.

    This is the stuff I struggled with in the early days too. I used to get great relief from work stress with a few pints thinking it was fixing those anxious feelings but the truth is it actually makes it worse. Just remember that when it happens again and it will help, keep to a routine like you are doing and you'll be fine.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    KaG wrote: »
    This is the stuff I struggled with in the early days too. I used to get great relief from work stress with a few pints thinking it was fixing those anxious feelings but the truth is it actually makes it worse. Just remember that when it happens again and it will help, keep to a routine like you are doing and you'll be fine.

    Very true about making it worse - just shoving it to one side until Monday again.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    Slipped up last night. Variety of reasons . Comments Appreciated. Its definitely when I feel very refreshed and weekend that things can unwind very quickly.

    I'm not gonna dwell too much on it and focus on today. I will post later with update


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭ Amazingfun


    Slipped up last night. Variety of reasons . Comments Appreciated. Its definitely when I feel very refreshed and weekend that things can unwind very quickly.

    I'm not gonna dwell too much on it and focus on today. I will post later with update

    There are loads of AA meetings all over the city today.

    Maybe you ought to consider trying one out ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    I will have to


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭ Amazingfun


    I will have to

    I "had to" as well. And to be honest, I have yet to meet a real drunk that ever went because they wanted to. Every single one I know had pain and fear as initial motivators for going to meetings. I know in my case, it felt like it was going to be the end of all fun times as I knew it. And hell, was I wrong, for what felt like the end, turned out the be the beginning of the best years of my life.
    Funny thing is now, years later, not only do I want to go, I enjoy them.
    The sober life is full of little ironies like this.
    You owe it to yourself to give it a try and have your own experience.

    Maybe ask yourself: what do I have to lose?
    For me, the answer to that question was " absolutely nothing".


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    Analyzing where I went wrong today. One of main reasons was not putting myself first. Had a meet up planned with friends - I know I should have just cancelled it. I need to remove myself from any possible temptation and think about my health first and foremost.

    I was also thinking its great to have support like here.

    PS AA tomorrow for me


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,519 stefan idiot jones


    p.s. great user name.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    p.s. great user name.

    ?


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,519 stefan idiot jones


    ?

    Your user name, unless your parents had a wicked sense of humour ?


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭ Amazingfun



    PS AA tomorrow for me

    Can't wait to hear how it goes :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    Feeling ok today - trying to get back to normal physically. It takes that much of a toll on me for days and my sleep was a disaster last night. Wakening up sweating etc and not being able to get back to sleep.

    It's made me even more determined not to mess up again is the only positive. Have AA tonight I will go to at least 2 this week. Today and Thursday and possibly Sunday. No more putting it off. Apprehensive about tonight but I have no other choice. Ì want to live my life and that is why I'm doing it.

    I was thinking of mixing it up with Lifering as well? I went a few times before and I liked the idea of it. We discuss your plans for weekend etc and anything that was bothering you. It was forward looking and I liked it. But maybe I should just stick with AA? What do ye think?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,095 KaG


    Where are you living?


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    PM sent KaG


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭ Amazingfun


    Feeling ok today - trying to get back to normal physically. It takes that much of a toll on me for days and my sleep was a disaster last night. Wakening up sweating etc and not being able to get back to sleep.

    It's made me even more determined not to mess up again is the only positive. Have AA tonight I will go to at least 2 this week. Today and Thursday and possibly Sunday. No more putting it off. Apprehensive about tonight but I have no other choice. Ì want to live my life and that is why I'm doing it.

    I was thinking of mixing it up with Lifering as well? I went a few times before and I liked the idea of it. We discuss your plans for weekend etc and anything that was bothering you. It was forward looking and I liked it. But maybe I should just stick with AA? What do ye think?

    Sometimes I think it is harder now in our age than any other for alcoholics seeking help. There are so many "treatment" choices now that it can be difficult to find where one really 'fits'.

    I can only say this: my experience with AA it that it has worked for me and for many other real drunks, some that I used to drink with, haha, so I am an eyewitness to what it can do in my own life and the lives of others too.
    Also, AA's definition of alcoholism rang true for me, whereas I found other's didn't really speak to my own experience, particularly anyone that counsels 'moderation'.....for me, only absolute abstinence from alcohol has proved successful.

    So I guess it's up to you. Whatever you do, don't get too confused and then invoke the alkie's favorite slogan "F*CK IT" ;)

    Ps: this book is Free today for anyone interested. I found it quite good, but again, to each his own:


    http://www.amazon.com/Real-Meditation-Alcoholics-those-love/dp/1481118722/ref=la_B00AYKLFFK_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1357766026&sr=1-1


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    I went to a meeting last night and I must say I liked it.

    So much stuff rang true in my head it wasn't even funny.

    I'll get to one tomorrow as well and big book on Sunday. I think this could be the tunnel where I see the light.

    It takes an hour or so but compared to how long you spend in a pub or hungover in bed it is some investment.


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,483 Mod ✭✭✭✭ xzanti


    Feeling great these days. One thing I have noticed is that I'm not very good talking to people in groups and even individually. I think drinking got rid of the shyness/awkwardness of conversing with people.

    I guess these days I'm more aware. Any ye guys feel same way

    Absolutely.. But I don't think it's any great revelation that shy people tend to use alcohol and drugs as something of a crutch in social settings..
    and if so what did ye do[/B]?

    All we can do is try to work on ourselves.. a little at a time.. and remember it's not a crime to be a bit quiet or introvert.. at least this way we are being ourselves, no pretense or bravado to have to live up to.. just being a real person.. flaws and all.. there's a lot to be said for it imho.

    Best of luck..


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    Going back tomorrow during day as I have day off work. Actually looking forward to it. Doubt I will speak bit rather listen and think.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭ Amazingfun


    I'm proud of you, as silly as that sounds, coming from one anonymous name to the other.
    You're walking your talk, and that ranks as just about the number one trait of people that 'make it ' out of the alcoholic cesspool in my books .

    An old AA pal of mine told me "I don't pay much attention to what alkies say, but I sure as hell watch where their feet are headed" :)
    He's gone now, but died sober after 30 years of continuous sobriety, which is just about as good as it gets in our club.

    Ps: One of my friends slept, yes...slept, through almost every meeting I took her to her first year. It was unbelievable!
    I think it was some kind of stress reaction or something (?), but the magic must have sunk in because she is coming up to 10 years of continuous sobriety. And guess what? She has never been the main speaker at a meeting. She did start sharing a little bit after a few years, but fro the start she did most of her talking outside of meetings with her friends and her sponsor, and she's stayed that way.
    My point is this: don't ever feel pressure to talk before you're ready. For now, just being there is brilliant.

    Having said that though, my pal is by far in the minority amongst AA's. Once most of us get over the initial shyness at meetings, you can't shut us up, as I'm sure you'll discover ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,887 ✭✭✭ budgese


    I have a Big Book (covered in paint like most of my belongings) if anyone wants it. Too biblical and impractical for me.

    Catch evolve transfer



  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    Amazingfun wrote: »
    I'm proud of you, as silly as that sounds, coming from one anonymous name to the other.
    You're walking your talk, and that ranks as just about the number one trait of people that 'make it ' out of the alcoholic cesspool in my books .

    An old AA pal of mine told me "I don't pay much attention to what alkies say, but I sure as hell watch where their feet are headed" :)
    He's gone now, but died sober after 30 years of continuous sobriety, which is just about as good as it gets in our club.

    Ps: One of my friends slept, yes...slept, through almost every meeting I took her to her first year. It was unbelievable!
    I think it was some kind of stress reaction or something (?), but the magic must have sunk in because she is coming up to 10 years of continuous sobriety. And guess what? She has never been the main speaker at a meeting. She did start sharing a little bit after a few years, but fro the start she did most of her talking outside of meetings with her friends and her sponsor, and she's stayed that way.
    My point is this: don't ever feel pressure to talk before you're ready. For now, just being there is brilliant.

    Having said that though, my pal is by far in the minority amongst AA's. Once most of us get over the initial shyness at meetings, you can't shut us up, as I'm sure you'll discover ;)

    I guess talking is a good way of letting of steam. All stories in AA are diverse and you think you are not so bad but in fact we are all the same - were all in there because of alcohol. So we are a in same situation that we want to get out of.

    I have long way to go - I think there are issues I will need to get yo bottom of once I'm sober for long enough.

    Thanks for kind words of encouraging - it really does help.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    I went yesterday - It good because everyone has a common goal.

    Could anyone explain perhaps by PM or whatever when you start the steps etc or whow you go about it? I would like to get stuck into it to be honest.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,095 KaG


    PM sent


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭ Amazingfun


    This is a site I found very helpful, and I will also extend an offer of private chats too if need be. I see KaG has reached out which is great, feel free to pm myself too if you ever feel the need. We can even do a meeting sometime if ya like! I am sure there are loads more on here who would be more than happy to help.

    http://xa-speakers.org/

    Can't say enough about this site, excellent collection of speakers and they have entire Big Book studies and tapes of conferences where people , many decades sober, will walk you through the steps, traditions, and even the whole history of AA if you are so inclined. There is even a recording of the first 'Fellowship of the Spirit' conference here in Dublin, 2007 :)

    Some of my fav speakers are Tom I, Don P, Mark H, Joe H, Chris R......but there are TONS of good folks on there, you have enough experience to last months and even years of listening. I used to listen to them at night when I had trouble sleeping, and in between meetings when I felt antsy, etc. Now I listen for the joy of it, and when I need a kick in the arse myself ;)

    Truth is, some of those folks helped get me sober, even though I only met some of them 'in real life'. It's a valuable tool.

    Here is the link to the various conferences, etc:
    http://xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?action=category&id=1

    Here are single speakers:
    http://xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?action=category&id=2

    Ps: Here is a good video making the rounds at the moment:



  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    Amazingfun wrote: »
    This is a site I found very helpful, and I will also extend an offer of private chats too if need be. I see KaG has reached out which is great, feel free to pm myself too if you ever feel the need. We can even do a meeting sometime if ya like! I am sure there are loads more on here who would be more than happy to help.

    http://xa-speakers.org/

    Can't say enough about this site, excellent collection of speakers and they have entire Big Book studies and tapes of conferences where people , many decades sober, will walk you through the steps, traditions, and even the whole history of AA if you are so inclined. There is even a recording of the first 'Fellowship of the Spirit' conference here in Dublin, 2007 :)

    Some of my fav speakers are Tom I, Don P, Mark H, Joe H, Chris R......but there are TONS of good folks on there, you have enough experience to last months and even years of listening. I used to listen to them at night when I had trouble sleeping, and in between meetings when I felt antsy, etc. Now I listen for the joy of it, and when I need a kick in the arse myself ;)

    Truth is, some of those folks helped get me sober, even though I only met some of them 'in real life'. It's a valuable tool.

    Here is the link to the various conferences, etc:
    http://xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?action=category&id=1

    Here are single speakers:
    http://xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?action=category&id=2

    Ps: Here is a good video making the rounds at the moment:


    Thanks - PM sent. Some good people on this forum.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    Up early this morning - just had a great sleep. Feel great and actually have a plan for weekend without spending a my money in the pub.

    Steps meeting at 1 to keep things on track.

    Have a good weekend to all on the forum.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 Carpet diem


    Went to the steps meeting saturday and ordinary meeting today. I still haven't talked partially out of shyness I suppose and I think I need to make my debut fairly lively.

    For some reason the meeting today didn't do it for me. I gona speak tomorrow and maybe offer to say the thing before/after meeting just to hear my myself speaking.

    Other than that I couldn't be any better - getting gym work in as well. I might try another venue aswell. I wouldn't mind getting a sponsor to talk to one to one.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭ Amazingfun


    Went to the steps meeting saturday and ordinary meeting today. I still haven't talked partially out of shyness I suppose and I think I need to make my debut fairly lively.

    For some reason the meeting today didn't do it for me. I gona speak tomorrow and maybe offer to say the thing before/after meeting just to hear my myself speaking.

    Other than that I couldn't be any better - getting gym work in as well. I might try another venue as well. I wouldn't mind getting a sponsor to talk to one to one.

    Hehe, I like how you said that....made me laugh as I think we all think a bit like that...."what can I get from this" rather than "what did I put into this"
    ;)

    PS: Just remember, there are LOADS of different meetings. Give yourself time to check out a good few before deciding where you feel like you most 'fit', and then make a commitment to get active in that group (if you can). Picking one close to work or your home makes it more likely you will actually go, so that's a thought too.
    You can still go to other meetings, of course!, but having what we call a "home group" can be good for the ole head. You don't have to think too much---just go :)

    You are doing great!


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