nav[aria-label="Primary Navigation"] { padding: 0; & ul { list-style: none; width: 100%; display: flex; flex-direction: row; justify-content: start; align-items: start; gap: 30px; padding: 0; & li { margin: 0; } & ul li { list-style: none; } } }

Child Item

Time to change my life around for the better minus drink.

Carpet diem

Hi,
Just to introduce myself, I'm a male in the late twenties. I have been drinking since my teens but the last couple of years I feel it's getting the better of my. Actually I know it's getting the better of me.

I consider myself successful in college and also hold down a full time job no problem. But behind that person is someone in turmoil. I usually go out mid week and then on Saturday and Sunday and usually have 10+ pints easily.

But then it all goes down hill Sunday morning (or usually evening) when I wake with a rotten hangover and mouth like an ash tray. I eat crap during the day and do nothing productive. I suppose the fear kicks in. Monday in work is terrible as I usually wouldn't sleep that well the night before so everything I do in work is a mountain to climb. The same thing on Tuesday. Unsuprisingly Wednesday and Thursday I really enjoy work and every challenge is welcome. Then I meet up with my mates (different circles of friends so not the same people each week) the drinking starts again. And it all starts all over again.

I suppose I will lay out some of the problems I have drink:
1. It destroys my relationship with my girlfriend.
2. I'm in a bad mood around her and that isn't fair as she really is a great person and we get on so well otherwise
3. My career is being held back because I'm not being consistent enough and I suppose if your out on Thursday night people don't trust you. There are things I can do to climb the ladder but sure I'm too busy in the pub at the weekend or hungover
4. There has being a few times lately where I cancelled meeting up with people due to being hungover.
5. I do a few days of exercise and that's all out the window until I recover from my next session.
6. I feel I don't see the real me when under the influence and there is a lot more to discover if I stay sober long enough
7. I spending a fortune on booze, I have no bother spending 100 on a night out but then when it comes to shopping I watching what I'm buying. It's pathetic really.
8. I feel if i stopped drinking that my relationship will go to another level. At the moment there are too many ups and downs to do that. If I stayed sober I have no doubt we move in together next year.
9. I never do adventurous stuff at the weekend because I'm stuck to the pillow.

There are a lot more stuff I could post but I will bore ye.

I decided five days ago to give up drinking alcohol but unfortunately I relapsed last night. After reading a lot of stuff on this forum I realised it's gona be really hard and there are gona be lots of ups and downs. It's how you learn from it is the key. I decided to start filling my time with activities like running (race tomorrow morning), yoga thing middle of the month etc.

The reason I want to put up this thread is because I want to record how I'm getting on and be true to myself and putting stuff into words is a good way to think about things. I suppose also I would like some advice to help me through this and I know most of ye have done it and you can't beat raw experience.

Thanks In advanced and have a great weekend.
Ps cinema tonight so can't wait for that and be nice and fresh fro run tomorrow morning.

Find more posts tagged with

Quick Links

Comments

Amazingfun

Big Book event this weekend in case anyone is interested

https://www.facebook.com/groups/123081624385185/

Saturday 31st August, Fellowship of The Spirit Ireland Conference in Red Cow Morans Hotel,see attached flier for details. Please SHARE this with anyone you think might be interested.

Carpet diem

Feeling good today but very weak mentally. Had an awful temptation on me last night but having plans made saved me. Having a **** day in work didn't help and felt a bit down about whether my work was of high enough standard even though put a lot into it .

I guess this is where its not fun but I need to stay positive and get over the weekend successfully.

Nonetheless nice day out and no headache, sickness or guilt so f%uk it things ain't to bad.

Have good weekend.

[Deleted User]

Carpet diem wrote: »

Feeling good today but very weak mentally. Had an awful temptation on me last night but having plans made saved me. Having a **** day in work didn't help and felt a bit down about whether my work was of high enough standard even though put a lot into it .

I guess this is where its not fun but I need to stay positive and get over the weekend successfully.

Nonetheless nice day out and no headache, sickness or guilt so f%uk it things ain't to bad.

Have good weekend.

This is the stuff I struggled with in the early days too. I used to get great relief from work stress with a few pints thinking it was fixing those anxious feelings but the truth is it actually makes it worse. Just remember that when it happens again and it will help, keep to a routine like you are doing and you'll be fine.

Carpet diem

Deleted User wrote: »

This is the stuff I struggled with in the early days too. I used to get great relief from work stress with a few pints thinking it was fixing those anxious feelings but the truth is it actually makes it worse. Just remember that when it happens again and it will help, keep to a routine like you are doing and you'll be fine.

Very true about making it worse - just shoving it to one side until Monday again.

Carpet diem

Slipped up last night. Variety of reasons . Comments Appreciated. Its definitely when I feel very refreshed and weekend that things can unwind very quickly.

I'm not gonna dwell too much on it and focus on today. I will post later with update

Amazingfun

Carpet diem wrote: »

Slipped up last night. Variety of reasons . Comments Appreciated. Its definitely when I feel very refreshed and weekend that things can unwind very quickly.

I'm not gonna dwell too much on it and focus on today. I will post later with update

There are loads of AA meetings all over the city today.

Maybe you ought to consider trying one out

Carpet diem

I will have to

Amazingfun

Carpet diem wrote: »

I will have to

I "had to" as well. And to be honest, I have yet to meet a real drunk that ever went because they wanted to. Every single one I know had pain and fear as initial motivators for going to meetings. I know in my case, it felt like it was going to be the end of all fun times as I knew it. And hell, was I wrong, for what felt like the end, turned out the be the beginning of the best years of my life.
Funny thing is now, years later, not only do I want to go, I enjoy them.
The sober life is full of little ironies like this.
You owe it to yourself to give it a try and have your own experience.

Maybe ask yourself: what do I have to lose?
For me, the answer to that question was " absolutely nothing".

Carpet diem

Analyzing where I went wrong today. One of main reasons was not putting myself first. Had a meet up planned with friends - I know I should have just cancelled it. I need to remove myself from any possible temptation and think about my health first and foremost.

I was also thinking its great to have support like here.

PS AA tomorrow for me

stefan idiot jones

p.s. great user name.

Carpet diem

stefan idiot jones wrote: »

p.s. great user name.

stefan idiot jones

Carpet diem wrote: »

?

Your user name, unless your parents had a wicked sense of humour ?

Amazingfun

Carpet diem wrote: »

PS AA tomorrow for me

Can't wait to hear how it goes

Carpet diem

Feeling ok today - trying to get back to normal physically. It takes that much of a toll on me for days and my sleep was a disaster last night. Wakening up sweating etc and not being able to get back to sleep.

It's made me even more determined not to mess up again is the only positive. Have AA tonight I will go to at least 2 this week. Today and Thursday and possibly Sunday. No more putting it off. Apprehensive about tonight but I have no other choice. Ì want to live my life and that is why I'm doing it.

I was thinking of mixing it up with Lifering as well? I went a few times before and I liked the idea of it. We discuss your plans for weekend etc and anything that was bothering you. It was forward looking and I liked it. But maybe I should just stick with AA? What do ye think?

[Deleted User]

Where are you living?

Carpet diem

PM sent KaG

Amazingfun

Carpet diem wrote: »

Feeling ok today - trying to get back to normal physically. It takes that much of a toll on me for days and my sleep was a disaster last night. Wakening up sweating etc and not being able to get back to sleep.

It's made me even more determined not to mess up again is the only positive. Have AA tonight I will go to at least 2 this week. Today and Thursday and possibly Sunday. No more putting it off. Apprehensive about tonight but I have no other choice. Ì want to live my life and that is why I'm doing it.

I was thinking of mixing it up with Lifering as well? I went a few times before and I liked the idea of it. We discuss your plans for weekend etc and anything that was bothering you. It was forward looking and I liked it. But maybe I should just stick with AA? What do ye think?

Sometimes I think it is harder now in our age than any other for alcoholics seeking help. There are so many "treatment" choices now that it can be difficult to find where one really 'fits'.

I can only say this: my experience with AA it that it has worked for me and for many other real drunks, some that I used to drink with, haha, so I am an eyewitness to what it can do in my own life and the lives of others too.
Also, AA's definition of alcoholism rang true for me, whereas I found other's didn't really speak to my own experience, particularly anyone that counsels 'moderation'.....for me, only absolute abstinence from alcohol has proved successful.

So I guess it's up to you. Whatever you do, don't get too confused and then invoke the alkie's favorite slogan "F*CK IT"

Ps: this book is Free today for anyone interested. I found it quite good, but again, to each his own:

http://www.amazon.com/Real-Meditation-Alcoholics-those-love/dp/1481118722/ref=la_B00AYKLFFK_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1357766026&sr=1-1

Carpet diem

I went to a meeting last night and I must say I liked it.

So much stuff rang true in my head it wasn't even funny.

I'll get to one tomorrow as well and big book on Sunday. I think this could be the tunnel where I see the light.

It takes an hour or so but compared to how long you spend in a pub or hungover in bed it is some investment.

xzanti

Carpet diem wrote: »

Feeling great these days. One thing I have noticed is that I'm not very good talking to people in groups and even individually. I think drinking got rid of the shyness/awkwardness of conversing with people.

I guess these days I'm more aware. Any ye guys feel same way

Absolutely.. But I don't think it's any great revelation that shy people tend to use alcohol and drugs as something of a crutch in social settings..

Carpet diem wrote: »

and if so what did ye do[/B]?

All we can do is try to work on ourselves.. a little at a time.. and remember it's not a crime to be a bit quiet or introvert.. at least this way we are being ourselves, no pretense or bravado to have to live up to.. just being a real person.. flaws and all.. there's a lot to be said for it imho.

Best of luck..

Carpet diem

Going back tomorrow during day as I have day off work. Actually looking forward to it. Doubt I will speak bit rather listen and think.

Amazingfun

I'm proud of you, as silly as that sounds, coming from one anonymous name to the other.
You're walking your talk, and that ranks as just about the number one trait of people that 'make it ' out of the alcoholic cesspool in my books .

An old AA pal of mine told me "I don't pay much attention to what alkies say, but I sure as hell watch where their feet are headed"

He's gone now, but died sober after 30 years of continuous sobriety, which is just about as good as it gets in our club.

Ps: One of my friends slept, yes...slept, through almost every meeting I took her to her first year. It was unbelievable!
I think it was some kind of stress reaction or something (?), but the magic must have sunk in because she is coming up to 10 years of continuous sobriety. And guess what? She has never been the main speaker at a meeting. She did start sharing a little bit after a few years, but fro the start she did most of her talking outside of meetings with her friends and her sponsor, and she's stayed that way.
My point is this: don't ever feel pressure to talk before you're ready. For now, just being there is brilliant.

Having said that though, my pal is by far in the minority amongst AA's. Once most of us get over the initial shyness at meetings, you can't shut us up, as I'm sure you'll discover

[Deleted User]

I have a Big Book (covered in paint like most of my belongings) if anyone wants it. Too biblical and impractical for me.

Carpet diem

Amazingfun wrote: »

I'm proud of you, as silly as that sounds, coming from one anonymous name to the other.
You're walking your talk, and that ranks as just about the number one trait of people that 'make it ' out of the alcoholic cesspool in my books .

An old AA pal of mine told me "I don't pay much attention to what alkies say, but I sure as hell watch where their feet are headed"
He's gone now, but died sober after 30 years of continuous sobriety, which is just about as good as it gets in our club.

Ps: One of my friends slept, yes...slept, through almost every meeting I took her to her first year. It was unbelievable!
I think it was some kind of stress reaction or something (?), but the magic must have sunk in because she is coming up to 10 years of continuous sobriety. And guess what? She has never been the main speaker at a meeting. She did start sharing a little bit after a few years, but fro the start she did most of her talking outside of meetings with her friends and her sponsor, and she's stayed that way.
My point is this: don't ever feel pressure to talk before you're ready. For now, just being there is brilliant.

Having said that though, my pal is by far in the minority amongst AA's. Once most of us get over the initial shyness at meetings, you can't shut us up, as I'm sure you'll discover

I guess talking is a good way of letting of steam. All stories in AA are diverse and you think you are not so bad but in fact we are all the same - were all in there because of alcohol. So we are a in same situation that we want to get out of.

I have long way to go - I think there are issues I will need to get yo bottom of once I'm sober for long enough.

Thanks for kind words of encouraging - it really does help.

Carpet diem

I went yesterday - It good because everyone has a common goal.

Could anyone explain perhaps by PM or whatever when you start the steps etc or whow you go about it? I would like to get stuck into it to be honest.

[Deleted User]

PM sent

Amazingfun

This is a site I found very helpful, and I will also extend an offer of private chats too if need be. I see KaG has reached out which is great, feel free to pm myself too if you ever feel the need. We can even do a meeting sometime if ya like! I am sure there are loads more on here who would be more than happy to help.

http://xa-speakers.org/

Can't say enough about this site, excellent collection of speakers and they have entire Big Book studies and tapes of conferences where people , many decades sober, will walk you through the steps, traditions, and even the whole history of AA if you are so inclined. There is even a recording of the first 'Fellowship of the Spirit' conference here in Dublin, 2007

Some of my fav speakers are Tom I, Don P, Mark H, Joe H, Chris R......but there are TONS of good folks on there, you have enough experience to last months and even years of listening. I used to listen to them at night when I had trouble sleeping, and in between meetings when I felt antsy, etc. Now I listen for the joy of it, and when I need a kick in the arse myself

Truth is, some of those folks helped get me sober, even though I only met some of them 'in real life'. It's a valuable tool.

Here is the link to the various conferences, etc:
http://xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?action=category&id=1

Here are single speakers:
http://xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?action=category&id=2

Ps: Here is a good video making the rounds at the moment:

Carpet diem

Amazingfun wrote: »

This is a site I found very helpful, and I will also extend an offer of private chats too if need be. I see KaG has reached out which is great, feel free to pm myself too if you ever feel the need. We can even do a meeting sometime if ya like! I am sure there are loads more on here who would be more than happy to help.

http://xa-speakers.org/

Can't say enough about this site, excellent collection of speakers and they have entire Big Book studies and tapes of conferences where people , many decades sober, will walk you through the steps, traditions, and even the whole history of AA if you are so inclined. There is even a recording of the first 'Fellowship of the Spirit' conference here in Dublin, 2007

Some of my fav speakers are Tom I, Don P, Mark H, Joe H, Chris R......but there are TONS of good folks on there, you have enough experience to last months and even years of listening. I used to listen to them at night when I had trouble sleeping, and in between meetings when I felt antsy, etc. Now I listen for the joy of it, and when I need a kick in the arse myself

Truth is, some of those folks helped get me sober, even though I only met some of them 'in real life'. It's a valuable tool.

Here is the link to the various conferences, etc:
http://xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?action=category&id=1

Here are single speakers:
http://xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?action=category&id=2

Ps: Here is a good video making the rounds at the moment:

Thanks - PM sent. Some good people on this forum.

Carpet diem

Up early this morning - just had a great sleep. Feel great and actually have a plan for weekend without spending a my money in the pub.

Steps meeting at 1 to keep things on track.

Have a good weekend to all on the forum.

Carpet diem

Went to the steps meeting saturday and ordinary meeting today. I still haven't talked partially out of shyness I suppose and I think I need to make my debut fairly lively.

For some reason the meeting today didn't do it for me. I gona speak tomorrow and maybe offer to say the thing before/after meeting just to hear my myself speaking.

Other than that I couldn't be any better - getting gym work in as well. I might try another venue aswell. I wouldn't mind getting a sponsor to talk to one to one.

Amazingfun

Carpet diem wrote: »

Went to the steps meeting saturday and ordinary meeting today. I still haven't talked partially out of shyness I suppose and I think I need to make my debut fairly lively.

For some reason the meeting today didn't do it for me. I gona speak tomorrow and maybe offer to say the thing before/after meeting just to hear my myself speaking.

Other than that I couldn't be any better - getting gym work in as well. I might try another venue as well. I wouldn't mind getting a sponsor to talk to one to one.

Hehe, I like how you said that....made me laugh as I think we all think a bit like that...."what can I get from this" rather than "what did I put into this"

PS: Just remember, there are LOADS of different meetings. Give yourself time to check out a good few before deciding where you feel like you most 'fit', and then make a commitment to get active in that group (if you can). Picking one close to work or your home makes it more likely you will actually go, so that's a thought too.
You can still go to other meetings, of course!, but having what we call a "home group" can be good for the ole head. You don't have to think too much---just go

You are doing great!