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Anyone else not want children?

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Comments

  • #242
    monkeysnapper
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,563 ✭✭✭monkeysnapper


    I always wanted kids but never felt it was the right time, we ended up having kids in our late 30s , and life is so much more hectic and with new job after redundancy, were left with very little money .

    What a difference in life , we spent years making good money and doing our own things and now we have less money and kids. How do I feel about this??.??. Bloody great . I wish I'd had kids years ago. Now I get to play with Lego and football out in the garden , we go to the parks on our bikes. Colouring... I lllloooovvvveee colouring. We planted a load of seeds in flower boxes in week .

    Life don't get any better in my opinion !!


  • #243
    T-Maxx
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,401 ✭✭✭T-Maxx


    OldNotWIse wrote: »
    but...but...some people have lives filled with joy without kids. Some people have kids and are miserable. They are not the only thing that can make you happy!(I'm one of the ones who wants kids yet you're insistance that they are a requirement for happiness is starting to annoy me)

    Where did I say that kids are a requirement for happiness?:confused:


  • #244
    loveisdivine
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,443 ✭✭✭loveisdivine


    Getting married in a few months and neither of us want children. Its something I feel very strongly about.
    One of my reasons is the whole "over population" thing. But its slightly more selfish than that as even though the planet probably could sustain more people, or we could distribute the population more evenly, I just think it would be a much nicer place with less people.
    I'm one of these "weirdos" that would be more than happy for the human race to die out.

    We are only here for a very short time really, I don't want to spend that time raising kids. The reason childfree people get so defensive about it is because we live in a baby rabid world! Ideally we would like to move to an adults only area, like they have in the US, but they don't have any here :(


  • #245
    OldNotWIse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,468 ✭✭✭✭OldNotWIse


    T-Maxx wrote: »
    Where did I say that kids are a requirement for happiness?:confused:

    er...your condescending pity for those of us who dont have them?


  • #246
    Kintarō Hattori
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,102 ✭✭✭✭Kintarō Hattori


    T-Maxx wrote: »
    How can I put this in simpler terms?

    Like saying you don't like Guinness even though you've never tasted it?

    I'm afraid with that statement you're trying to insinuate that something incredibly complex can be passed off very simply. Let's break this down to the nitty gritty. It's not all encompassing and certainly a lot of people will see/experience things differently.

    For you having kids was the best thing ever. For you taking care of them, educating them, watching them grow, is the best thing ever. You love being a parent and you're delighted you went down that road..... and that's brilliant for you and others like you. However, there are plenty of people in this world who are not like you:

    There are lots of adults who haven't felt the pang of wanting to raise a child.

    There are plenty of educated people, who have weighed up the possibility of having a child against the lifestyle that they currently have and will continue to have.

    There are plenty of adults who have made the decision that all they really need is each other. They are so absolutely besotted with each other that they don't need anything else in their lives- they are complete as it is.

    Yes there will be people who are indecisive and will possibly lose out on having a child in their lives because they couldn't make the decision when the time was right. However as grown people, with free will and the ability to make an educated choice there are plenty of people who simply do not want children. That's the thing, we have free will and the ability to chose what we want to do.

    That's what you need to understand. You don't necessarily need to experience something to realize that it's not for you.


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  • #247
    Reindeer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,076 ✭✭✭Reindeer


    frozenfrozen wrote: »
    yet... you don't want children yet.... but when you're a little bit older and more grow up you probably will. Don't write it off completely, you have to try everything once and all that. Sorry for all the only-childs out there, but you were that experiment, and you were either so great that they didn't want another, or well.. you know..

    :)

    The older I get, the less I want children, and the less I can tolerate children. I visit often with friends and relatives that have them everywhere and spend much of their time talking about them. I have my fill of child exposure. I'm not even all that grumpy. I didn't really like children much when I was a child. Don't get me wrong, I'm all socialised up and can carry a conversation at most dull parties or pubs, and I had no real trauma as a child, so it's not any(serious) psychosis. I just hate children. The noise, the smell, more noise, dealing with school, etc etc. It's like living your childhood life all over again. I've already lived my childhood one whole time. I was there. I remember it. I am perfectly happy with moving forwards through life. Then there's the question of bringing another human into this world. Nah - there's no shortage of people about, I don't need to add to it. Children are for other people. I just ask you do not bring yours on airplanes and the theatre.


  • #248
    wolfpawnat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,124 ✭✭✭wolfpawnat


    Reindeer wrote: »
    I just ask you do not bring yours on airplanes and the theatre.

    We're an island nation, you'll just have to grin and bear them on transport I'm afraid.


  • #249
    Frank Black
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,296 ✭✭✭Frank Black


    Reindeer wrote: »
    Children are for other people. I just ask you do not bring yours on airplanes and the theatre.

    I won't be giving up on foreign holidays just because I have kids. Sorry if this upsets you (actually, I'm not really that sorry).


  • #250
    Mr Benevolent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,433 ✭✭✭✭Mr Benevolent


    loveisdivine wrote: »
    I'm one of these weirdos that would be more than happy for the human race to die out.

    Wow, are you a proponent of eugenics too? I wish to subscribe to your newsletter - and burn it. It'll be funny you see your reaction when a baby accidentally comes along. Will you give it up for adoption or just jump on its head?

    Funny enough, the majority of couples who decide not to have kids end up with at least one. Contraception works 99% of the time, but most couples have sex a lot more than 100 times. Simple statistics.


  • #251
    OldNotWIse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,468 ✭✭✭✭OldNotWIse


    Mr Benevolent wrote: »
    Wow, are you a proponent of eugenics too? I wish to subscribe to your newsletter - and burn it. It'll be funny you see your reaction when a baby accidentally comes along. Will you give it up for adoption or just jump on its head?

    Funny enough, the majority of couples who decide not to have kids end up with at least one. Contraception works 99% of the time, but most couples have sex a lot more than 100 times. Simple statistics.

    No I kinda feel the same tbh. We are destroying the planet. It's nothing to do with eugenics. (so long as it doesnt happen while I'm here hahaha)


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  • #252
    Lams
    Site Banned Posts: 59 ✭✭Lams


    OldNotWIse wrote: »
    Actually my mother said something last night that surprised and disappointed me. We were talking about her younger brother and his wife who have decided not to have children. Mum says, "you'd wonder why they bothered getting married in the first place!" . I was seriously floored by her attitude. I was like, "Mam, people dont just get married to have kids you know"... :(

    There is some logic to it, why tie yourself to one person for the rest of your life? ( assuming you take your marriage vows seriously.)


  • #253
    Lams
    Site Banned Posts: 59 ✭✭Lams


    OldNotWIse wrote: »
    No I kinda feel the same tbh. We are destroying the planet. It's nothing to do with eugenics. (so long as it doesnt happen while I'm here hahaha)

    You do realise the planet will be destroyed eeventually and I don't think a few kids will make much difference.


  • #254
    rainbow kirby
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,928 ✭✭✭✭rainbow kirby


    I was pretty certain I didn't want them up until about age 26-27, kinda warming to the idea now. Absolute maximum of 2 though, wouldn't be a big fan of having a large family. Things change, circumstances change... but it's a very individual thing, and not something that should be used to judge others. It's ok to want kids, it's ok to not want them - but it can be a bit awkward in a relationship if one wants them and the other doesn't!


  • #255
    ibarelycare
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 58,456 ✭✭✭✭ibarelycare


    Lams wrote: »
    You do realise the planet will be destroyed eeventually and I don't think a few kids will make much difference.

    Actually overpopulation is a very serious worldwide issue.


  • #256
    OldNotWIse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,468 ✭✭✭✭OldNotWIse


    Lams wrote: »
    There is some logic to it, why tie yourself to one person for the rest of your life? ( assuming you take your marriage vows seriously.)

    I think people who are in love would not see it as "tying" themselves - I dont think anyone goes into a marriage with that mentality, whether they want kids or not.


  • #257
    OldNotWIse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,468 ✭✭✭✭OldNotWIse


    Lams wrote: »
    You do realise the planet will be destroyed eeventually and I don't think a few kids will make much difference.

    I dont care if people have kids or not, I just dont care if we die out (whether that be a natural disaster or whatever).


  • #258
    Mr Benevolent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,433 ✭✭✭✭Mr Benevolent


    OldNotWIse wrote: »
    No I kinda feel the same tbh. We are destroying the planet. It's nothing to do with eugenics. (so long as it doesn't happen while I'm here hahaha)

    Destroying the planet? You must be joking, surely? The planet doesn't even notice us. It's been hit by an object the size of Mars, had countless hypercanes, megavolcanoes and earthquakes, and you're arrogant enough to think us ants can destroy the planet?

    Come on man, think about what you're saying.
    Actually overpopulation is a very serious worldwide issue.

    It was called a 'very serious issue' in 1703, 1734, 1756, 1789, 1801, 1813, 1835, 1845, 1856, 1873, 1881, 1889, 1900 and so on. You're just trotting out the same old crap. We adapt.


  • #259
    noddyone2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 313 ✭✭noddyone2


    VivaMessi wrote: »
    I'm 25 with my partner and the thoughts of having children makes me literally sick. Looking after them non stop till their 11 or 12. Then leeching money off you till they finish college or longer. Anyone else feel like this because I don't know what I'm gonna say to my partner when she wants to start trying. I never want children
    We're in our sixties now and soon after we met, when we were in our late teens, we both decided we didn't want kids. This was in a time (late sixties/early seventies) when a womans sole purpose was to have kids. We came under pressure from family etc. but resisted and we are so glad we did. Neither of us have a parenting instinct (except to animals!). We were so lucky to have met.
    Anyway, our advice is: Come clean about your views to her, otherwise it'll be misery.


  • #260
    OldNotWIse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,468 ✭✭✭✭OldNotWIse


    Mr Benevolent wrote: »
    Destroying the planet? You must be joking, surely? The planet doesn't even notice us. It's been hit by an object the size of Mars, had countless hypercanes, megavolcanoes and earthquakes, and you're arrogant enough to think us ants can destroy the planet?

    Come on man, think about what you're saying.


    I'm not a man, I'm a woman and there is nothing arrogant about me...the arrogance comes from those who think its ok to abuse and exploit other animals who share the planet with us to feed our appetite for instant gratification and hyper consumerism. I'm clearly not talking about destruction on a macro scale.

    ps whats the matter, is it not Friday in your world? :)


  • #261
    Mr Benevolent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,433 ✭✭✭✭Mr Benevolent


    OldNotWIse wrote: »
    I'm not a man, I'm a woman and there is nothing arrogant about me...the arrogance comes from those who think its ok to abuse and exploit other animals who share the planet with us to feed our appetite for instant gratification and hyper consumerism.

    That's nothing to do with the planet, just the human race. Yes, it's Friday here too, but someone is wrong on the Internet!


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  • #262
    josip
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 15,164 ✭✭✭✭josip


    Reindeer wrote: »
    Children are for other people.
    If only your parents had felt the same way; then you wouldn't have had to put up with all those horrible children.


  • #263
    Frank Black
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,296 ✭✭✭Frank Black


    OldNotWIse wrote: »
    I'm not a man, I'm a woman and there is nothing arrogant about me...the arrogance comes from those who think its ok to abuse and exploit other animals who share the planet with us to feed our appetite for instant gratification and hyper consumerism. I'm clearly not talking about destruction on a macro scale.

    ps whats the matter, is it not Friday in your world? :)


    If people don't want kids, then fine, don't have them.
    But stop trying to rope in some quasi-moral argument about preventing over-population of the planet as one of your justifications.
    It just sounds ridiculous and has no basis in logic. It's almost as if people feel they need some other higher reasons to explain why they never had kids - trust me - ye don't.


  • #264
    OldNotWIse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,468 ✭✭✭✭OldNotWIse


    Frank Black wrote: »
    If people don't want kids, then fine, don't have them.
    But stop trying to rope in some quasi-moral argument about preventing over-population of the planet as one of your justifications.
    It just sounds ridiculous and has no basis in logic. It's almost as if people feel they need some other higher reasons to explain why they never had kids - trust me - ye don't.


    jeeeeez for the last time - I am not telling people to have kids or not. (In fact I plan to have some myself). I never said anything about population control...


  • #265
    OldNotWIse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,468 ✭✭✭✭OldNotWIse


    Mr Benevolent wrote: »
    That's nothing to do with the planet, just the human race. Yes, it's Friday here too, but someone is wrong on the Internet!


    hope it doesnt come between you and your sleep! Happy friday! :D


  • #266
    XxMCRxBabyxX
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 7,442 Mod ✭✭✭✭XxMCRxBabyxX


    josip wrote: »
    If only your parents had felt the same way; then you wouldn't have had to put up with all those horrible children.

    Why does this line keep coming up? The fact that a person's parents had them doesn't put an obligation on that person to have to want and/or like children.


  • #267
    Itwasntme.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,754 ✭✭✭Itwasntme.


    XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »
    Why does this line keep coming up? The fact that a person's parents had them doesn't put an obligation on that person to have to want and/or like children.

    Exactly. In fact, I wish my parents hadn't had me to be honest. I don't get why I should be grateful that they did. If there was an application form to either be born or not, I know what I would choose and it definitely wouldn't be the 'gift of life'.


  • #268
    OldNotWIse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,468 ✭✭✭✭OldNotWIse


    Itwasntme. wrote: »
    Exactly. In fact, I wish my parents hadn't had me to be honest. I don't get why I should be grateful that they did. If there was an application form to either be born or not, I know what I would choose and it definitely wouldn't be the 'gift of life'.

    Why??:eek:


  • #269
    Sierra 117
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 629 ✭✭✭Sierra 117


    It bothers me that some parents believe their kids owe them for raising them. My father is one such parent. I didn't ask to be born and it was his responsibility to raise me. I don't owe him anything for that.


  • #270
    Itwasntme.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,754 ✭✭✭Itwasntme.


    OldNotWIse wrote: »
    Why??:eek:

    :pac: Why are you surprised that someone doesn't think life is a gift? I had this conversation with my sister and she agrees with me so I am definitely not the only one. What's the point of life? To procreate and perpetuate the human species? To what end?

    This is not some angsty cry for help or anything. I really don't see the point. Yes, I am making the most of it while I am here - I live, laugh, cry etc. but I really wish I had been given the choice before hand and I would not want to make that decision for someone I couldn't consult. What if they feel like I do?


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  • #271
    **Vai**
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,302 ✭✭✭**Vai**


    T-Maxx wrote: »
    Because they simply don't know what they're missing.

    Hahahaha yet more incredible condescention. You deserve a medal.


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