Anyone else not want children?

VivaMessi

I'm 25 with my partner and the thoughts of having children makes me literally sick. Looking after them non stop till their 11 or 12. Then leeching money off you till they finish college or longer. Anyone else feel like this because I don't know what I'm gonna say to my partner when she wants to start trying. I never want children

The Backwards Man

I just want a girlfriend first, one step at a time like.:pac:

LizT

Emmm... you should probably tell her now if it's a serious relationship. It's a fairly big choice and she deserves to know if you're not on the same page

carzony

I'm 21 and i'd love to have a baby, I'm fierce emotional for a man

KeithM89

VivaMessi wrote: »

the thoughts of having children makes me literally sick.

Projectile? And with bits of carrot too?

Washington Irving

carzony wrote: »

I'm 21 and i'd love to have a baby, I'm fierce emotional for a man

Just sell your girlfriend to this guy, OP.

Itwasntme.

I am with the No Babies crew.

SV

I think not wanting children in any shape or form is a bit of an evolutionary stepback tbh.

frozenfrozen

yet... you don't want children yet.... but when you're a little bit older and more grow up you probably will. Don't write it off completely, you have to try everything once and all that. Sorry for all the only-childs out there, but you were that experiment, and you were either so great that they didn't want another, or well.. you know..

LizT

frozenfrozen wrote: »

yet... you don't want children yet.... but when you're a little bit older and more grow up you probably will. Don't write it off completely, you have to try everything once and all that. Sorry for all the only-childs out there, but you were that experiment, and you were either so great that they didn't want another, or well.. you know..

That attitude annoys me, it's so condescending. A person can decide in their 20s that they don't want kids and never change their mind.

Cee-Jay-Cee

I thought the same as OP when I was his age and when I was 30 too. It wasnt till I hit near mid 30's that I started to change my mind. I now have two beautiful daughters that I wouldn't be without for anything on this earth.

If your absolutely sure that you will ever want children then tell your partner now. It's only fair that she knows before its too late.

worded

The aboutsolute joy of your kids giggling and unconditional love for a few years at least. Ive never experienced such shared happiness.

You may change your mind in the future OP. The fun with your kid on a weekend surpasses weekend after weekend on the piss.

Each to their own. I respect your current view but it may change.

Ken.

I don't want kids. Where do i turn in the one i've got?.

December2012

VivaMessi wrote: »

I'm 25 with my partner and the thoughts of having children makes me literally sick. Looking after them non stop till their 11 or 12. Then leeching money off you till they finish college or longer. Anyone else feel like this because I don't know what I'm gonna say to my partner when she wants to start trying. I never want children

Its too late to bring it up at that stage. You have to discuss it with her now before it crosses her mind. You never know, she might feel the same as you do. Plenty of people do.

Parenting isn't for everybody and there's nothing wrong with that.

looking_around

while dating my partner, one of the first things I told him is that I will never have kids.

It's important to get that out in the open as soon as possible..otherwise one person will always resent the other.. and it could cause some major problems and hurt in a relationship

Engine No.9

And you think you'll only be lookin after em 11 r 12 yrs... Scoff. You'll be lookin after em for life man.

uck51js9zml2yt

Scylla wrote: »

Projectile? And with bits of carrot too?

you forgot yo mention the nappy changing and not doing it we quiet fast enough to save yourself being covered in it.

saying that,its been the best few years ever.

VivaMessi

Maybe it will change when I'm a bit older and calm down a bit cause I'm a bit wild :rolleyes: at the minute but she's kind of hinting now which is doing my head in. We are due to get married in October

gowley

pajopearl wrote: »

And you think you'll only be lookin after em 11 r 12 yrs... Scoff. You'll be lookin after em for life man.

lol. agree totally. they give you serious hardship but imo nothing gives you more pleasure either. having kids was the best thing to happen to me.

Engine No.9

VivaMessi wrote: »

Maybe it will change when I'm a bit older and calm down a bit cause I'm a bit wild :rolleyes: at the minute but she's kind of hinting now which is doing my head in. We are due to get married in October

So yeve talked about marriage bit not about kids. Sounds like its a given for her mate. Ye need to have that talk now buddy. Not tomorrow,now!!!

Richard Hillman

You dont win anything with kids

Cienciano

VivaMessi wrote: »

Maybe it will change when I'm a bit older and calm down a bit cause I'm a bit wild :rolleyes: at the minute but she's kind of hinting now which is doing my head in. We are due to get married in October

This is serious!
Stop telling random strangers on the internet and tell the one person who this matters to. Nothing wrong with not wanting kids, and not something you should be doing if you don't want to.
Obviously if your partner really wants to have kids, this could be the wedding off, depending on how much your partner wants them.
You never know, your partner might not want them either.

markomuscle

I do but I would get the governess to do the work whilst I sit and twirl my moustache.

seosamh1980

Are ye getting married in a church? Pre marriage course will sort all this out...would love to be in that group when realisation dawns on her! If you're having a civil ceremony for the love of God tell her now.

I love babies, hate kids. Love playing with friends babies, after a couple of months I can't stand them anymore, running around, screeching, wrecking things, costing money, tying you down, ugh. Can see no pros to the situation at all.

gowley

seosamh1980 wrote: »

Are ye getting married in a church? Pre marriage course will sort all this out...would love to be in that group when realisation dawns on her! If you're having a civil ceremony for the love of God tell her now.

I love babies, hate kids. Love playing with friends babies, after a couple of months I can't stand them anymore, running around, screeching, wrecking things, costing money, tying you down, ugh. Can see no pros to the situation at all.

lol. dont knock till youve tried it

Cienciano

seosamh1980 wrote: »

Are ye getting married in a church? Pre marriage course will sort all this out...would love to be in that group when realisation dawns on her! If you're having a civil ceremony for the love of God tell her now.

I love babies, hate kids. Love playing with friends babies, after a couple of months I can't stand them anymore, running around, screeching, wrecking things, costing money, tying you down, ugh. Can see no pros to the situation at all.

Think if you write down the pros and cons for children to weigh it up, I can safely say kids aren't for you

December2012

If you really love her then tell her.

IrishEyes19

I,m amazed that you are getting married and have never had this discussion before. surely that is the ONE discussion you have before matrimony is even considered. How have you managed to avoid that one for all this time out of interest?

It is life changing, but for people who want kids, its life changing in the best of ways. Regardless of your wishes for kids or not, I think your description of money grabbing an minding them endless is a tad bit dramatic. Sure you have to protect and support them. But its a natural process that most people who want kids, want to do, because they love their children. I think thats the main thing here. Its like any relationship, you do things out of love. Id imagine caring for your children is no different.

Andy-Pandy

Tis the thing I want most in the world, I've just gone 36, most of my mates have kids and I wish I had someone to love enough to have a kid with. I'd seriously consider having a. Kid with someone outside of a relationship if i would be guaranteed right to the child. My worst nightmare would be having a kid but not being granted full accessfor whatever reason.

Lando Griffin

You do know you get generous cash payments for having kids and play your cards right a house with a garden big enough fir a trampoline and some dogs?

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Erper

VivaMessi wrote: »

I'm 25 with my partner and the thoughts of having children makes me literally sick. Looking after them non stop till their 11 or 12. Then leeching money off you till they finish college or longer. Anyone else feel like this because I don't know what I'm gonna say to my partner when she wants to start trying. I never want children

Reading this type of posts makes me sick...
What kind of person are you...
You dont want to give a birth to a child and give all your love to the baby..
Seriously..
I had a gf who said the same thing... and i said to her " adios baby"...

Imagine if your parents thought like you now...

anncoates

Person in mid 20s broadcasting to world that they never want kids shocker.

Dr Turk Turkelton

Lando Griffin wrote: »

You do know you get generous cash payments for having kids and play your cards right a house with a garden big enough fir a trampoline and some dogs?

But make sure they are different genders or else you will have to come on boards to complain about the council giving you too small a house.

jugger0

Your ancestors have managed to pass on their genes for thousands of years and it is thanks to them that you are alive, now you want to call it quits cos babies have smelly nappys and cry... C-C-C-Combo Breaker... do you really want to be that guy? spread your seed man its what you were born to do.

seven_eleven

it seems a very large percentage of women want children, and view it as one of their main goals, and arent interested in many other things when it comes to getting a life partner.

I dont get it to be honest.

Erper

After all, you seem to be 25 but in head you are still a selfish child.
Thats my opinion why are you afraid to have kids...

Erper

seven_eleven wrote: »

it seems a very large percentage of women want children, and view it as one of their main goals, and arent interested in many other things when it comes to getting a life partner.

I dont get it to be honest.

You asking yourself that question??
Answer is simple..
They dont want to have a male around them but want to recieve money for kids...
Its called being selfish...

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

looking_around

seven_eleven wrote: »

it seems a very large percentage of women want children, and view it as one of their main goals, and arent interested in many other things when it comes to getting a life partner.

I dont get it to be honest.

Actually biologically, the body screams "get pregnant". Even women who never wanted kids, often go through a period before menopause where they get very "baby" orientated, some give in, some don't.
But, it's a biological thing... they're hardly at fault fot that...

Erper

FizzleSticks wrote: »

If someone feels like they won't love a baby trust me its much better they don't have a baby and there is nothing wrong with that.

It's okay not to have children, news flash!

I agree with one part but not for the other...
Explain to me, why is it ok not to have kids??

lennyloulou

OP follow your heart if you do or do not want kids- trust yourself, discuss it with your partner and lead the life you want. Make sure you both are in agreement however if ye stay together. at your age, what rush is on ye! enjoy life. I am shocked at peoples attitudes regarding your wishes- you are not selfish not wanting kids, now or ever. Too many people have kids too young and are too immature and f**ked up to raise them with an ounce of cop on and practability for life or as with many of my friends who are married and are now bored/relationship stuck in a rut - they therefore have kids to fill in the cracks/boredom of their marriage/relationship.

looking_around

Erper wrote: »

I agree with one part but not for the other...
Explain to me, why is it ok not to have kids??

Why isn't it?

I don't want children!

I don't want to pass on my genes to anyone.
I don't want to be responsible for anyone but me.
I think living in this world is going to get harder and crueler and that having a child is selfish.

VivaMessi

Erper wrote: »

After all, you seem to be 25 but in head you are still a selfish child.
Thats my opinion why are you afraid to have kids...

I'm not selfish at all, I am not tight with money whatsoever, Maybe I'm just freaking cause I'm too young and still enjoying been young and all this marraige(wish I didn't propose now) and kids talk and crap is weighing me down:(

I like to go out and have fun, heck not so long since I finished college and now all this crap. . Don't know what to do tbh maybe when I hit 30 or calm down a bit things will change:(

Just feel like dumping her and going off travelling or something or hitting the pub with mates till I'm 30 or so and then settle down. I dunno I'm too young too have kids, maybe when I mature a bit or sumtin, feel like a child at heart.

#Gettingfustrad

lennyloulou

Hang on a sec- you wish you didn't propose???? that is a different ball game now. I think you have a lot going on other than the kids issue...

Ciderswigger

LizT wrote: »

That attitude annoys me, it's so condescending. A person can decide in their 20s that they don't want kids and never change their mind.

+1 on this. I'm 27 and when I was about 8 or 9 years old I announced to the whole family that I didn't want to be a mammy. Of course everyone just smiled and nodded. But almost 20 years later I still agree with younger me, though in a more mature way!! :pac:

I can't explain it, I just don't have a need or urge to reproduce. I know that it will be a deal breaker in a relationship for many men but I just hope that one day I'll find someone who is okay with my choice.

Each to their own.

looking_around

might be time to have a chat viva ..maybe go on 6 months travelling

Erper

looking_around wrote: »

Why isn't it?

I don't want children!

I don't want to pass on my genes to anyone.
I don't want to be responsible for anyone but me.
I think living in this world is going to get harder and crueler and that having a child is selfish.

Saying those things makes you selfish, and if the world thinks like that than we are all doomed..

If you are in love ONLY with yourself and want only to feel great than ive nothing to say to you anymore...

Teagwee

VivaMessi wrote: »

I'm not selfish at all, I am not tight with money whatsoever, Maybe I'm just freaking cause I'm too young and still enjoying been young and all this marraige(wish I didn't propose now) and kids talk and crap is weighing me down:(

I like to go out and have fun, heck not so long since I finished college and now all this crap. . Don't know what to do tbh maybe when I hit 30 or calm down a bit things will change:(

Just feel like dumping her and going off travelling or something or hitting the pub with mates till I'm 30 or so and then settle down. I dunno I'm too young too have kids, maybe when I mature a bit or sumtin, feel like a child at heart.

#Gettingfustrad

Seems like you're not ready for marriage either and you should definitely be discussing this with your partner asap. Not doing so IS being selfish and immature - having kids or not is a side issue at this point.

Erper

Ciderswigger wrote: »

+1 on this. I'm 27 and when I was about 8 or 9 years old I announced to the whole family that I didn't want to be a mammy. Of course everyone just smiled and nodded. But almost 20 years later I still agree with younger me, though in a more mature way!! :pac:

I can't explain it, I just don't have a need or urge to reproduce. I know that it will be a deal breaker in a relationship for many men but I just hope that one day I'll find someone who is okay with my choice.

Each to their own.

But in the end that could mean that you didnt find a proper person that you will fall in love with him/her and that could be one of the reasons why not ti have kids...

VivaMessi

Erper wrote: »

But in the end that could mean that you didnt find a proper person that you will fall in love with him/her and that could be one of the reasons why not ti have kids...

Yes I lover her dearly, I think I'll have to have a talk 2moro and slow things down, even though the invites are allready sent out.:( Children thing might change in time but for the foreseeable future definitely not! I asked her to marry me and now I want to cancel, this cant end well