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What are your funniest Irish sayings?

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    #482
    DEFTLEFTHAND
    Registered Users Posts: 16,500 ✭✭✭✭DEFTLEFTHAND


    Sound as a trout.


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    #483
    Laika1986
    Registered Users Posts: 620 ✭✭✭Laika1986


    As mad as a bag of spiders


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    #484
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    as its nearly christmas lets sing a song in the style of the pennys ad

    'pennys, got a whole lot of things for christmas, and a wig for a baldy gee. fallalaa la la la clitorous, fallalala la la la syphillus, falllala la la la la la, pennys got a whole lot of things for christmas.....[deep voice] and a wig for a baldy gee

    heard that of a real dub a few years ago

    he had another one:

    'there was an old woman who lived in a shoe, she had so many kids her gee fell off'


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    #485
    9959
    Registered Users Posts: 1,785 ✭✭✭9959


    You'll never beat the Irish.


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    #486
    senorwipesalot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,458 ✭✭✭senorwipesalot


    Me tits are withered.


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    #487
    Sitec
    Registered Users Posts: 2,964 ✭✭✭Sitec


    I will in me ring


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    #488
    ToddyDoody
    Registered Users Posts: 4,421 ✭✭✭ToddyDoody


    "I swear to f**kin jesus"


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    #489
    Vicar in a tutu
    Registered Users Posts: 901 ✭✭✭Vicar in a tutu


    '' Yer nothing but a SHIITEHAWK ''

    Heard some elderly women using the following phrases...

    '' Ya should be shot with balls of yer own shiite''

    Someone asked this woman where so and so was.. her reply
    '' HE'S UP ME HO-WAL PICKING DAISIES ''

    :o


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    #490
    Mensch Maschine
    Registered Users Posts: 403 ✭✭Mensch Maschine


    Bex81 wrote: »
    A friend of mine uses a few good ones on a daily basis:
    "Howya now thank God?" (without awaiting the reply)
    When you ask her if she has "Any news?", her immediate response will always be "Divil a bit"

    My parents were discussing someone who died the other day and my mum says "Did he die in the Times or the Indo?" (ie was he a country-man or a Dub)

    Finally, to be read in one of those husky pikey voices a la 'Snatch': "Horse it into me good and proper there boss, nono o that fancy shte"

    Sorry, I hope the last one doesnt offend :p

    I've been told a story by some mutual buddies that this guy I know got stuck in to a traveller girl. They were getting it on and his hands went wandering down to which she replied..

    "horse it in to me...none of that fancy ****e.." or something to that effect. I'm starting to think it's a spoof now.


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    #491
    bodhrandude
    Registered Users Posts: 12,396 ✭✭✭✭bodhrandude


    Leitrim saying for someone talking a load of pish.
    "Aaaah, will ya come out of the hollow."

    If you want to get into it, you got to get out of it. (Hawkwind 1982)



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    #492
    Honest opinion
    Registered Users Posts: 89 ✭✭Honest opinion


    I'd drag my balls through a mile of hot coals and barb wire just to get a hand-job off the dirty binman who collects her used tampons!


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    #493
    Standard Toaster
    Registered Users Posts: 10,250 ✭✭✭✭Standard Toaster


    "If ye fall and break your legs, don't come runnin' to me."


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    #494
    AnarchistKen
    Registered Users Posts: 129 ✭✭AnarchistKen


    The gee hair is a widely accepted standard measurement of us Irish.

    "give that a gee hair to the left"


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    #495
    Rasheed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,117 ✭✭✭Rasheed


    My old neighbour used to put the curse of the 'seven snotty orphans' on anyone that would particularly annoy her. Never heard from anyone else!


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    #496
    fasttalkerchat
    Registered Users Posts: 5,652 ✭✭✭fasttalkerchat


    I left her with a face like a painters radio.


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    #497
    fasttalkerchat
    Registered Users Posts: 5,652 ✭✭✭fasttalkerchat


    If you go out in that caul (cold) without a gansaí you'll catch your death.


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    #498
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users Posts: 23,977 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    After telling someone that I'd shaken the hand of a local Kerry TD, I was asked if I still had the same number of fingers left.


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    #499
    Jonah42
    Closed Accounts Posts: 455 ✭✭Jonah42


    Some yoke hi


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    #500
    poor farmer
    Registered Users Posts: 445 ✭✭poor farmer


    That "wan" doesn't know whether her arse was bored or punched


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    #501
    romeosensini
    Registered Users Posts: 14 ✭romeosensini


    That hure would get in where a draft wouldn't


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    #502
    Gordon Gecko
    Registered Users Posts: 650 ✭✭✭Gordon Gecko


    "........sure look.........."

    Unbeatable


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    #503
    MAJJ
    Registered Users Posts: 1,679 ✭✭✭MAJJ


    Heard said after a match 'Stiffer than a gigolos mickey'

    I love it!


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    #504
    conzy
    Subscribers Posts: 6,408 ✭✭✭conzy


    "All the money lost in the great war wouldn't educate you"


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    #505
    shell53
    Registered Users Posts: 19 ✭shell53


    This first one is very rude but my dad always says it so i think its funny

    Taking about an easy lady.... If u shook her all the mickys would fall outta her

    Every compliment about clothes is the wink and how its nice cause of the peg its on

    cute hoor was reared on the foxes milk

    No money... Hasnt an eye in his head

    Lots of perfume make up anyone all dolled up is like a hoors handbag


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    #506
    crockholm
    Registered Users Posts: 2,448 ✭✭✭crockholm


    " You should have been bate to death with a sock full o wet sh1te"


    "I'd say, she could w4nk you off with her bellybutton"- an agile young lady.


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    #507
    big dar
    Registered Users Posts: 202 ✭✭big dar


    If he fell into a bucket of tits he'd come out sucking his thumb


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    #508
    Gordon Gecko
    Registered Users Posts: 650 ✭✭✭Gordon Gecko


    The entire text of "A long way from penny apples" Bill Cullen's masterpiece


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    #509
    pogiefallon
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭pogiefallon


    drive her like youre late for mass
    i wouldent ride ya if ya had peddals


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    #510
    Push Pop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 262 ✭✭Push Pop


    She has an arse on her like a badly fed mongrel.


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    #511
    shell53
    Registered Users Posts: 19 ✭shell53


    Your that hungry u cud eat a nuns arse through the convents gates

    ya b as well to go out and set fire to it at least ya wud get a bit of heat off it for something not worth a bit

    Any news? Divil a bit

    Not nice clothes. I wouldnt wear it to get turf

    Hes a real cur for a bold fuvker

    Cra thumper for very religious person


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