Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

krudler · 21-01-2013 11:58AM

Grayson wrote: »

Someone I know just posted this photo from this feed.

http://www.facebook.com/RightWingedBirdsOfPray

Birds of Pray? 'scuse me, I have some trolling to do..

wnolan1992 · 21-01-2013 03:56PM

languagenerd wrote: »

And so begin the ten million statuses about snow... (Some of which just say "Snow!").

This one made me smile:

Snow is like Mallow Train Station... Its friggin cold, annoying and causes numerous transport delays for me :O:/:/ *shakes fist*

Lollipops23 · 21-01-2013 04:11PM

Thwip! wrote: »

Birds of Pray? Oh ffs

Their page makes my heart sad

Apanachi · 21-01-2013 05:28PM

The latest installment from a FB friend (as of today, EX-FB friend)

Skool's closed bcuz of snow evry1 else has 2 work 2day so y nt teachers dey get enuf time off work as it is - lazy c*nts

This comes from a 44 year old woman who barely worked a day in her life (also the same woman who takes random photos of people wearing turbans, posts them on Facebook and calls them "dirty terrorist scum" and is constantly giving out about immigrants to Britain getting money from the government for doing nothing (which, considering her work history, is a bit like the pot calling the kettle black))

Should have deleted her from my friend list ages ago…

Lollipops23 · 21-01-2013 05:35PM

Apanachi wrote: »

The latest installment from a FB friend (as of today, EX-FB friend)

Should have deleted her from my friend list ages ago…

I bet if her little one slipped on the ice en route to "skool" she'd be the first up looking for compo!!

keith16 · 22-01-2013 12:50AM

Did anyone see this from Mary Lou McDonald?

Be very careful folks. Forward this message to as many relatives and friends as possible to put a stop to it.

If you receive a phone call on your mobile from any person saying that he or she is a company engineer or telling you that they're checking your mobile phone line, and that you have to press #90 or #09 or any other number, end this call IMMEDIATELY without pressing any numbers.

The whole thing is a fraud and once you press #90 or #09, they can access your SIM card and make calls at your expense.

Jesus fucking wept.

wildlifeboy · 22-01-2013 11:28AM

whats a looser? a girl of questionable moral standing?

Daroxtar · 22-01-2013 08:21PM

"This story is touching plz if u hv nasty comments keep them to yourselfs cause sum pple wl learn frm this.........th ere was a gal frm a poor background he parents savd enuf money to send her to a private high education . the gal didnt hv fancy clothes she was poor people mockd her callled her names ,galz laughd at her called her a nun bec she wore long dresses ..sumday while she was walkin on campus a hansum man rich nd veri inflential approached her bt she turned him down.the man had a time sequence every tuesday at the exact time not a second ealier or later he wuld walk up to her nd approach her he wuld becum more inflential e.g bring more money becum more sweet nd he wuld be more tempting one day as the gal was asleep she had a vision becz she was a powerful christian JESUS WARNED HER ABT DA LOVE OF MONEY AND HE TOLD HER TO ALWAYS READ EPHASIANS 6-11-THE ARMOR OF CHRIST THAT IS THE ONGLI WEAPON THAT A CHRISTIAN CAN USE TO FYT THE DEVIL....THE GAL LISTND TO JESUS AND the next tuesday he showed up and he said the foolwing words :"you are powerful i tried so many times to steal your soul bt i failed evrytm i came to ur house when ur wr asleep at midnyt i culdnt enter i saw a dove one day, the other day i saw alot of ANGELS IN WHITE GOWNS SINGING AND I RAN AWAY IN FEAR,DA ADA DAY I SAW FIRE BURNING AND SOMEDAY A MAN WTH FLAMES IN HIS EYES IMMEDIATLEY I RAN AWAY ND MY PLANS WERE SCATTERD..THE OTHER DAT WHEN U CLIMBED THE BUS I CAUSD AN ACCIDNT BUT ALOT OF ANGELS WERE AROUND YOU ,YOU SAVED MANY SOULS I COULDNT STEAL ANY I FEAR YOU AND I WANT TO ACCPET JESUS AND REPENT". The gal was shocked but she prayed for him and he accptd JESUS .......... By this my friends we can see that without JESUS WE ARE NOTHING JESUS LIVES LET US ACCPT HIM AND LOVE HIM REMBER TO READ EPHISIANS 6 THE AMOUR OF GOD"

And so endeth another FB friendship

I should clarify that that was a repost but I cannot do the christian thing and forgive the person who shared it

starlings · 22-01-2013 08:29PM

Daroxtar wrote: »

"This story is touching plz if u hv nasty comments keep them to yourselfs cause sum pple wl learn frm this.........th ere was a gal frm a poor background he parents savd enuf money to send her to a private high education . the gal didnt hv fancy clothes she was poor people mockd her callled her names ,galz laughd at her called her a nun bec she wore long dresses ..sumday while she was walkin on campus a hansum man rich nd veri inflential approached her bt she turned him down.the man had a time sequence every tuesday at the exact time not a second ealier or later he wuld walk up to her nd approach her he wuld becum more inflential e.g bring more money becum more sweet nd he wuld be more tempting one day as the gal was asleep she had a vision becz she was a powerful christian JESUS WARNED HER ABT DA LOVE OF MONEY AND HE TOLD HER TO ALWAYS READ EPHASIANS 6-11-THE ARMOR OF CHRIST THAT IS THE ONGLI WEAPON THAT A CHRISTIAN CAN USE TO FYT THE DEVIL....THE GAL LISTND TO JESUS AND the next tuesday he showed up and he said the foolwing words :"you are powerful i tried so many times to steal your soul bt i failed evrytm i came to ur house when ur wr asleep at midnyt i culdnt enter i saw a dove one day, the other day i saw alot of ANGELS IN WHITE GOWNS SINGING AND I RAN AWAY IN FEAR,DA ADA DAY I SAW FIRE BURNING AND SOMEDAY A MAN WTH FLAMES IN HIS EYES IMMEDIATLEY I RAN AWAY ND MY PLANS WERE SCATTERD..THE OTHER DAT WHEN U CLIMBED THE BUS I CAUSD AN ACCIDNT BUT ALOT OF ANGELS WERE AROUND YOU ,YOU SAVED MANY SOULS I COULDNT STEAL ANY I FEAR YOU AND I WANT TO ACCPET JESUS AND REPENT". The gal was shocked but she prayed for him and he accptd JESUS .......... By this my friends we can see that without JESUS WE ARE NOTHING JESUS LIVES LET US ACCPT HIM AND LOVE HIM REMBER TO READ EPHISIANS 6 THE AMOUR OF GOD"

And so endeth another FB friendship

I should clarify that that was a repost but I cannot do the christian thing forgive the person who shared it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Raf5JdFecPQ

orestes · 22-01-2013 08:34PM

Daroxtar wrote: »

"This story is touching plz if u hv nasty comments keep them to yourselfs cause sum pple wl learn frm this.........th ere was a gal frm a poor background he parents savd enuf money to send her to a private high education . the gal didnt hv fancy clothes she was poor people mockd her callled her names ,galz laughd at her called her a nun bec she wore long dresses ..sumday while she was walkin on campus a hansum man rich nd veri inflential approached her bt she turned him down.the man had a time sequence every tuesday at the exact time not a second ealier or later he wuld walk up to her nd approach her he wuld becum more inflential e.g bring more money becum more sweet nd he wuld be more tempting one day as the gal was asleep she had a vision becz she was a powerful christian JESUS WARNED HER ABT DA LOVE OF MONEY AND HE TOLD HER TO ALWAYS READ EPHASIANS 6-11-THE ARMOR OF CHRIST THAT IS THE ONGLI WEAPON THAT A CHRISTIAN CAN USE TO FYT THE DEVIL....THE GAL LISTND TO JESUS AND the next tuesday he showed up and he said the foolwing words :"you are powerful i tried so many times to steal your soul bt i failed evrytm i came to ur house when ur wr asleep at midnyt i culdnt enter i saw a dove one day, the other day i saw alot of ANGELS IN WHITE GOWNS SINGING AND I RAN AWAY IN FEAR,DA ADA DAY I SAW FIRE BURNING AND SOMEDAY A MAN WTH FLAMES IN HIS EYES IMMEDIATLEY I RAN AWAY ND MY PLANS WERE SCATTERD..THE OTHER DAT WHEN U CLIMBED THE BUS I CAUSD AN ACCIDNT BUT ALOT OF ANGELS WERE AROUND YOU ,YOU SAVED MANY SOULS I COULDNT STEAL ANY I FEAR YOU AND I WANT TO ACCPET JESUS AND REPENT". The gal was shocked but she prayed for him and he accptd JESUS .......... By this my friends we can see that without JESUS WE ARE NOTHING JESUS LIVES LET US ACCPT HIM AND LOVE HIM REMBER TO READ EPHISIANS 6 THE AMOUR OF GOD"

I actually had to put my finger against the screen of my laptop and trail it along as I tried to read that. Fukking hell.

MadYaker · 22-01-2013 09:10PM

This is good:

Heading out on the sesh tonight for the 2nd time running. Doctor says that cause i'm a celiac i can't hack the sesh, i'll ****ing show him. You only YOLO once. Yippi kai yay muther-****er

Thwip! · 22-01-2013 10:14PM

^^^To quote Jimmy Carr, "Nothing like a little chlorine for the gene pool"

wildlifeboy · 23-01-2013 10:54AM

You only You only live once once. gotta go get the paper get the paper

implausible · 23-01-2013 12:39PM

"Don't ya just hate it when ppl never 'like' pictures of your child but will 'like' other pics u put up. #gettingannoyingnow"

This from a well-educated 34 year old. I thought only melodramatic, passive aggressive teenagers carried on like this. I was alos under the impression that people didn't pass too much heed of 'likes'. What the actual f#ck?!

*goes to make burn list of people who haven't 'liked' photos of her offspring

shanec1928 · 23-01-2013 01:26PM

implausible wrote: »

"Don't ya just hate it when ppl never 'like' pictures of your child but will 'like' other pics u put up. #gettingannoyingnow"

This from a well-educated 34 year old. I thought only melodramatic, passive aggressive teenagers carried on like this. I was alos under the impression that people didn't pass too much heed of 'likes'. What the actual f#ck?!

*goes to make burn list of people who haven't 'liked' photos of her offspring

go like every one of her photos except the ones with her chid in it!

Dan133269 · 23-01-2013 02:19PM

implausible wrote: »

"Don't ya just hate it when ppl never 'like' pictures of your child but will 'like' other pics u put up. #gettingannoyingnow"

How insecure this mother must be about her child's appearance. That's bad enough, but broadcasting that insecurity to the world at large is pathetic.

Person on my news feed was posting up live updates of her daughter being potty trained recently. It included posts such as the following:
- "Accident number 1 just happened, clean up time"
- "All dry and accident free for 2 hours now, hope it continues"
- "Oh I spoke too soon, accident number 2, time to get clean trousers for little Sarah"

BUBBLE WRAP · 23-01-2013 02:29PM

Dan133269 wrote: »

How insecure this mother must be about her child's appearance. That's bad enough, but broadcasting that insecurity to the world at large is pathetic.

Person on my news feed was posting up live updates of her daughter being potty trained recently. It included posts such as the following:
- "Accident number 1 just happened, clean up time"
- "All dry and accident free for 2 hours now, hope it continues"
- "Oh I spoke too soon, accident number 2, time to get clean trousers for little Sarah"

Tell her to SHUT UP!

AnonoBoy · 23-01-2013 02:33PM

Is there something that happens to people's brains when they have kids that turns them into utter f*cking idiots?

wnolan1992 · 23-01-2013 02:53PM

implausible wrote: »

"Don't ya just hate it when ppl never 'like' pictures of your child but will 'like' other pics u put up. #gettingannoyingnow"

This from a well-educated 34 year old. I thought only melodramatic, passive aggressive teenagers carried on like this. I was alos under the impression that people didn't pass too much heed of 'likes'. What the actual f#ck?!

*goes to make burn list of people who haven't 'liked' photos of her offspring

Just comment on it saying:

"Well, your child is incredibly ugly."

kunst nugget · 23-01-2013 03:02PM

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Is there something that happens to people's brains when they have kids that turns them into utter f*cking idiots?

Those people were always utter idiots - it's just that when they have kids and their attention becomes focused on one topic, their idiocy becomes more apparent.

triseke · 23-01-2013 03:03PM

Daroxtar wrote: »

"This story is touching plz if u hv nasty comments keep them to yourselfs cause sum pple wl learn frm this.........th ere was a gal frm a poor background he parents savd enuf money to send her to a private high education . the gal didnt hv fancy clothes she was poor people mockd her callled her names ,galz laughd at her called her a nun bec she wore long dresses ..sumday while she was walkin on campus a hansum man rich nd veri inflential approached her bt she turned him down.the man had a time sequence every tuesday at the exact time not a second ealier or later he wuld walk up to her nd approach her he wuld becum more inflential e.g bring more money becum more sweet nd he wuld be more tempting one day as the gal was asleep she had a vision becz she was a powerful christian JESUS WARNED HER ABT DA LOVE OF MONEY AND HE TOLD HER TO ALWAYS READ EPHASIANS 6-11-THE ARMOR OF CHRIST THAT IS THE ONGLI WEAPON THAT A CHRISTIAN CAN USE TO FYT THE DEVIL....THE GAL LISTND TO JESUS AND the next tuesday he showed up and he said the foolwing words :"you are powerful i tried so many times to steal your soul bt i failed evrytm i came to ur house when ur wr asleep at midnyt i culdnt enter i saw a dove one day, the other day i saw alot of ANGELS IN WHITE GOWNS SINGING AND I RAN AWAY IN FEAR,DA ADA DAY I SAW FIRE BURNING AND SOMEDAY A MAN WTH FLAMES IN HIS EYES IMMEDIATLEY I RAN AWAY ND MY PLANS WERE SCATTERD..THE OTHER DAT WHEN U CLIMBED THE BUS I CAUSD AN ACCIDNT BUT ALOT OF ANGELS WERE AROUND YOU ,YOU SAVED MANY SOULS I COULDNT STEAL ANY I FEAR YOU AND I WANT TO ACCPET JESUS AND REPENT". The gal was shocked but she prayed for him and he accptd JESUS .......... By this my friends we can see that without JESUS WE ARE NOTHING JESUS LIVES LET US ACCPT HIM AND LOVE HIM REMBER TO READ EPHISIANS 6 THE AMOUR OF GOD"

And so endeth another FB friendship

I should clarify that that was a repost but I cannot do the christian thing and forgive the person who shared it

what did I just read?

mrsbyrne · 23-01-2013 03:31PM

Have recently been sent to coventry by certain in-laws:D due, partially, to not "liking" inumerable endless facebook pics of assorted small children.
Apparently its "very hurtfull".
Its taken me 23 years to realise that the female section of this family, and the misfortunates they married, are total dickheads.

whiterob81 · 23-01-2013 03:47PM

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Is there something that happens to people's brains when they have kids that turns them into utter f*cking idiots?

No, they were always fuking idiots. They're the same people that used to post stuff like "el vino will flow" and "dying.com" every other day of the week but now they're all grown up and responsible.

whiterob81 · 23-01-2013 03:49PM

kunst nugget wrote: »

Those people were always utter idiots - it's just that when they have kids and their attention becomes focused on one topic, their idiocy becomes more apparent.

Jinx!

BBDBB · 23-01-2013 03:54PM

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

I hope ye are ready for this:

"Im sxcii nd ii no it free style Yh biotchez when ii was walkin down cork city the girlz gor jel the boyz mouths fell ii flicked my hair flatterd my lashes gave them cork people aa reason to stare so baby Boy dont prendent you dont want it your hypnotized as ii flaunt it well geuss what looser you couldov had it you had my heart you let it go you thought you were aa player even aa pro ,, well youve lost me now im too good for you ii dnt care for you no more ! Nxt time an opertunity comes around yu may grab it now off you GO ! Living ing up sxcii free and single they say whats ment to be will find its way well me nd yu were never gona stay !!xx"

There are no words.

Can be translated into

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Even in proper english it has less depth than a teaspoon

I'm sexy and I know it
Free style, yo bitches

When I was walking down Cork city
The girls got jealous, the boy's mouths fell
I flicked my hair, fluttered my lashes
Gave them Cork people a reason to stare

So baby boy don't pretend you don't want it
You're hypontized as I flaunt it
Well guess what looser?
You could've had it
You had my heart, you let it go
You thought you were a player, even a pro
Well you've lost me now
I'm too good for you
I don't care for you no more!
Next time an opportunity comes around
You may grab it now off you GO!

Living it up sexy, free and single
They say what's meant to be will find it's way
Well me and you were never gona stay!!
xx

which can be roughly translated into

I believe myself to be fairly attractive
I do things my own way my friends

I took a stroll into Cork the other day
I caused a stir amongst the young people of the city that I saw there I can tell you
I tried the traditional preening and eye contact non verbal communication to indicate my availability for mating so that those I saw in Cork would all be aware of my desire for their attention

Thus, young man, be honest, I am certain that you wish to copulate with me.
You are mesmerised by my ritualistic display as I proceed
Well I have some news for you, unfortunately
you have missed the opportunity to win my affection.
Your own amateur attempts at flirtation and sexual prowess will not attract my attention
I will never enter into a meaningful relationship with you, not ever.
My feelings for you will never approach anything like affection, though perhaps I shall taunt with the notion that perhaps they used to at one point in time
May I suggest that the next time you have an opportunity to mate with someone in a similar situation that you grasp the nettle and do so with due urgency and haste

I shall now proceed, enjoying myself and unencumbered by a relationship with yourself.
Philosophically it is frequently said "Que Sera Sera" about life and love
I offer that thought to you as a reason as to why our relationship was unlikely to ever proceed to courtship or intercourse

xx

ronan45 · 23-01-2013 04:07PM

:rolleyes:

Every F(*&^G day the same ****e..........

"right off to Westwood, the joys of the personal trainer textin me so i cant quit, for the BURNNNNN peeps... lucky shes smoking!"

"thanks to my personal trainer ___(tags her)_____ for today still feal the burn hun"

"8k ha ha no bother with __(tags gym instructor)___"

"___________ Just checked into Westwood"

"____________just checked into lillies" then comments "Library anyone" :rolleyes:

"nandos then myos ahhh doesnt get any better , high rollingggg he he he"

RubyWoo83 · 23-01-2013 04:11PM

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Is there something that happens to people's brains when they have kids that turns them into utter f*cking idiots?

Yes, I lost half of my vocabulary when I had my child. She does do a fantastic job of pooping though so it's worth the trade off :rolleyes:

ping123 · 23-01-2013 04:16PM

Check ins really annoy me, unless it it somewhere interestering the rest of us don't care.

"Claire _____ checked in at louises gaff" "checked in at bed"

kunst nugget · 23-01-2013 04:18PM

ping123 wrote: »

Check ins really annoy me, unless it it somewhere interestering the rest of us don't care.

"Claire _____ checked in at louises gaff" "checked in at bed"

Check ins are never interesting.

Roisy7 · 23-01-2013 04:18PM

ping123 wrote: »

Check ins really annoy me, unless it it somewhere interestering the rest of us don't care.

"Claire _____ checked in at louises gaff" "checked in at bed"

Claire and Louise are sleeping together?!! :eek::eek::eek::eek:

Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

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