What are your funniest Irish sayings?

Laika1986 · 08-12-2012 10:16PM

As mad as a bag of spiders

admiralofthefleet · 08-12-2012 10:47PM

as its nearly christmas lets sing a song in the style of the pennys ad

'pennys, got a whole lot of things for christmas, and a wig for a baldy gee. fallalaa la la la clitorous, fallalala la la la syphillus, falllala la la la la la, pennys got a whole lot of things for christmas.....[deep voice] and a wig for a baldy gee

heard that of a real dub a few years ago

he had another one:

'there was an old woman who lived in a shoe, she had so many kids her gee fell off'

08-12-2012 10:55PM

You'll never beat the Irish.

senorwipesalot · 08-12-2012 11:33PM

Me tits are withered.

ToddyDoody · 09-12-2012 12:15AM

"I swear to f**kin jesus"

Vicar in a tutu · 09-12-2012 08:01AM

'' Yer nothing but a SHIITEHAWK ''

Heard some elderly women using the following phrases...

'' Ya should be shot with balls of yer own shiite''

Someone asked this woman where so and so was.. her reply
'' HE'S UP ME HO-WAL PICKING DAISIES ''

Mensch Maschine · 09-12-2012 10:43AM

Bex81 wrote: »

A friend of mine uses a few good ones on a daily basis:
"Howya now thank God?" (without awaiting the reply)
When you ask her if she has "Any news?", her immediate response will always be "Divil a bit"

My parents were discussing someone who died the other day and my mum says "Did he die in the Times or the Indo?" (ie was he a country-man or a Dub)

Finally, to be read in one of those husky pikey voices a la 'Snatch': "Horse it into me good and proper there boss, nono o that fancy shte"

Sorry, I hope the last one doesnt offend

I've been told a story by some mutual buddies that this guy I know got stuck in to a traveller girl. They were getting it on and his hands went wandering down to which she replied..

"horse it in to me...none of that fancy ****e.." or something to that effect. I'm starting to think it's a spoof now.

bodhrandude · 09-12-2012 12:51PM

Leitrim saying for someone talking a load of pish.
"Aaaah, will ya come out of the hollow."

Honest opinion · 09-12-2012 01:44PM

I'd drag my balls through a mile of hot coals and barb wire just to get a hand-job off the dirty binman who collects her used tampons!

Standard Toaster · 09-12-2012 03:33PM

"If ye fall and break your legs, don't come runnin' to me."

AnarchistKen · 09-12-2012 04:14PM

The gee hair is a widely accepted standard measurement of us Irish.

"give that a gee hair to the left"

Rasheed · 09-12-2012 04:28PM

My old neighbour used to put the curse of the 'seven snotty orphans' on anyone that would particularly annoy her. Never heard from anyone else!

fasttalkerchat · 09-12-2012 06:10PM

I left her with a face like a painters radio.

fasttalkerchat · 09-12-2012 06:13PM

If you go out in that caul (cold) without a gansaí you'll catch your death.

ejmaztec · 09-12-2012 06:27PM

After telling someone that I'd shaken the hand of a local Kerry TD, I was asked if I still had the same number of fingers left.

Jonah42 · 09-12-2012 07:17PM

Some yoke hi

poor farmer · 09-12-2012 07:46PM

That "wan" doesn't know whether her arse was bored or punched

romeosensini · 09-12-2012 09:21PM

That hure would get in where a draft wouldn't

Gordon Gecko · 09-12-2012 09:24PM

"........sure look.........."

Unbeatable

MAJJ · 09-12-2012 10:50PM

Heard said after a match 'Stiffer than a gigolos mickey'

I love it!

conzy · 09-12-2012 11:47PM

"All the money lost in the great war wouldn't educate you"

shell53 · 19-03-2013 08:53PM

This first one is very rude but my dad always says it so i think its funny

Taking about an easy lady.... If u shook her all the mickys would fall outta her

Every compliment about clothes is the wink and how its nice cause of the peg its on

cute hoor was reared on the foxes milk

No money... Hasnt an eye in his head

Lots of perfume make up anyone all dolled up is like a hoors handbag

crockholm · 19-03-2013 08:59PM

" You should have been bate to death with a sock full o wet sh1te"

"I'd say, she could w4nk you off with her bellybutton"- an agile young lady.

big dar · 19-03-2013 11:20PM

If he fell into a bucket of tits he'd come out sucking his thumb

Gordon Gecko · 19-03-2013 11:47PM

The entire text of "A long way from penny apples" Bill Cullen's masterpiece

pogiefallon · 20-03-2013 01:09AM

drive her like youre late for mass
i wouldent ride ya if ya had peddals

Push Pop · 20-03-2013 06:52AM

She has an arse on her like a badly fed mongrel.

shell53 · 20-03-2013 07:19AM

Your that hungry u cud eat a nuns arse through the convents gates

ya b as well to go out and set fire to it at least ya wud get a bit of heat off it for something not worth a bit

Any news? Divil a bit

Not nice clothes. I wouldnt wear it to get turf

Hes a real cur for a bold fuvker

Cra thumper for very religious person

shell53 · 20-03-2013 07:21AM

An once of breeding is worth a ton of feeding

Black cat black kitten

johnny_knoxvile · 20-03-2013 08:13AM

a good one i heard in our time of recession was "you can't take nickers of a bare arse".

true that.

What are your funniest Irish sayings?

Comments