Most incorrect thing you were taught?

EmatoelDiablo · 12-04-2012 12:01am #1

I was just remembering back to years ago, and the terrible information we were taught in school, and the gob****es that believed the nonsense.

In National school someone asked about Imperial measurements. The response? A pint is exactly 500ml. A mile is half a kilometer, and a furlong was the length of a horse. Dafuq.

In more recent years we have been taught that there is no such thing as an atheist, and the abuse in the Church is less than it was made out to be.

So tell me AH'ers, did ye have any similar experiences?

Immaculate Pasta · 12-04-2012 12:03am

*standard After Hours post about the Catholic Church or the existence of God which gets loads of thanks*

:cool:

The King of Moo · 12-04-2012 12:03am

That "'I before 'e' except after 'c'" is a rule.

There are more words that break it than there are that conform to it.

Where To · 12-04-2012 12:05am

I was teached not taught :mad:

Sauve · 12-04-2012 12:05am

That sex is bad for your soul.

The Internet Explorer · 12-04-2012 12:07am

Samantha Brick.

marozz · 12-04-2012 12:08am

I remember being told in primary school that " If you don't eat salt you will die". After that I piled the salt on all my meals - It scared the hell out of me. The teacher failed to mention that most foods already have salt in them.

EmatoelDiablo · 12-04-2012 12:08am

The King of Moo wrote: »

That "'I before 'e' except after 'c'" is a rule.

There are more words that break it than there are that conform to it.

I remember using 'conscience' and 'neighbor' to dispute this.

YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING! *gives detention*
Bitch anyway...

12-04-2012 12:08am

When I was a young child, my parents told me that my belly button was the screw that held my arse in place. They lied and, boy, did it hurt finding out.

ronnie3585 · 12-04-2012 12:08am

Catch a ni*ger by the toe.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 12-04-2012 12:09am

The Junior Cert is the most important thing you will ever do.

mikemac1 · 12-04-2012 12:10am

Back in the eighties my teachers told me the Japs were going to take over the world, economy wise

They were wrong, it's the Chinese

sea_monkey · 12-04-2012 12:12am

1+1+1+1+1+1*0=0

i remember my first maths class in secondary school when the teacher taught us BEMDAS

i just couldnt understand why i wasnt taught it that way first???

SdoowSirhc · 12-04-2012 12:12am

Last year I had a subsitute geography teacher try to tell me that Brazil is a colony of the USA

dafuq??

Skid · 12-04-2012 12:13am

I had a National School teacher who couldn't add up fractions properly.

She insisted 2 1/2 + 2 1/2 was 4 1/2.

And you still hear people claiming the Irish Education System is the best in the World :rolleyes:

stop · 12-04-2012 12:14am

County Derry - no such thing.

ziggy23 · 12-04-2012 12:15am

That god existed

carfiosaoorl · 12-04-2012 12:15am

I don't recall being taught anything that was incorrect but my daughters teacher was sick recently and they had a substitute teacher. They were doing angles in maths and for homework they were given a series of shapes and they had to say how many angles the shape had. The first shape was a circle and he told them that a circle has 4 angles :eek: I refused to leave her write that answer in her book and told her to tell him he was wrong. She drew a cross in the circle and showed me where he found the angles. Some people clearly should stay in college longer.

EmatoelDiablo · 12-04-2012 12:16am

SdoowSirhc wrote: »

Last year I had a subsitute geography teacher try to tell me that Brazil is a colony of the USA dafuq??

We had an arrested development moment: Portugal and Morocco = South America.... FFS

Deus Ex Machina · 12-04-2012 12:17am

Immaculate Pasta wrote: »

*standard After Hours post about the Catholic Church or the existence of God which gets loads of thanks*

:cool:

I think you defused that smug bomb. Kudos.

Edit: Looks like I was wrong (post 17)

Wibbs · 12-04-2012 12:17am

Not so much taught, but implied. The idea that adults/authority know better.

Run_to_da_hills · 12-04-2012 12:17am

That the Pope was inflammable.

ziggy23 · 12-04-2012 12:19am

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

I think you defused that smug bomb. Kudos.

Edit: Looks like I was wrong (post 17)

:oThe cat stepped on my keyboard

44leto · 12-04-2012 12:20am

PE I suppose never really use much of that, all the rest of the stuff was useful in someways and others.

mikemac1 · 12-04-2012 12:21am

Joined writing

Seriously, what's the point?
Having to buy special copy books to practice the letters and then spending so much time trying to get it correct

The minute I went to secondary school I ditched it all.
Just type in print, like the letters in this post [edit, arial font actually, not this times new roman]
Easier and clearer

EmatoelDiablo · 12-04-2012 12:21am

stop wrote: »

County Derry - no such thing.

Ah, the LondonDerry conundrum...

bb1234567 · 12-04-2012 12:22am

Skid wrote: »

I had a National School teacher who couldn't add up fractions properly.

She insisted 2 1/2 + 2 1/2 was 4 1/2.

And you still hear people claiming the Irish Education System is the best in the World :rolleyes:

Never once in my life heard anybody ever claim that:) and theres a reason for that...

x_Ellie_x · 12-04-2012 12:24am

When I was in primary school, my teacher used to tell us how lucky we were because our religion class was taught to us by the parish priest. Our parish priest was FR. TONY WALSH!!

RobbingBandit · 12-04-2012 12:25am

Had a history teacher who insisted Ireland was part of the commonwealth,yes she was a Rangers fan.

wilkie2006 · 12-04-2012 12:26am

My teacher gave a classmate an absolute bo11ocking for writing "Xmas", claiming that it was "taking the Christ out of Christmas". Ignorant bitch...

the "X" comes from the Greek letter Chi, which is the first letter of the Greek word Χριστός, translated as "Christ".[2] There is a common misconception that the word Xmas is a secular attempt to remove the religious tradition from Christmas[3] by taking the "Christ" out of "Christmas".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xmas

EmatoelDiablo · 12-04-2012 12:27am

wilkie2006 wrote: »

My teacher gave a classmate an absolute bo11ocking for writing "Xmas", claiming that it was "taking the Christ out of Christmas". Ignorant bitch...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xmas

Thanks for that. Never knew! Handy information

mikemac1 · 12-04-2012 12:27am

x_Ellie_x wrote: »

Our parish priest was FR. TONY WALSH!!

Ye were lucky, he sounds like a cool guy :cool:

In the late 1970s Father Walsh became part of Father Michael Cleary's All Priests Show as an Elvis impersonator.[1][2]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Cleary_(priest)

wilkie2006 · 12-04-2012 12:28am

RobbingBandit wrote: »

Had a history teacher who insisted Ireland was part of the commonwealth,yes she was a Rangers fan.

Really? I'm a bit skeptical about that...

Was this is the republic or NI?

Agent Smith · 12-04-2012 12:38am

SdoowSirhc wrote: »

Last year I had a subsitute geography teacher try to tell me that Brazil is a colony of the USA dafuq??

I wonder if its the same one I had, who insisted that Bonn Was the capital of germany.

(i showed that bitch a capital.... Bitches Love capitals....) :pac:

Tigger · 12-04-2012 12:39am

the Bohr or Sommerfeld models of atomic therory

why oh why teach us this only to tell us it was untrue

12-04-2012 12:41am

Actually one of the only memories of being young are of being told something stupid by a teacher.

One time in Junior or Senior infants we were broken up into groups and had to do collages. My group of about 6 were doing a typical kids pic - grass, sky, sun, house, you know the type.
Anyway I was doing a little corner of sky, bringing it down to meet the grass - when one of the other kids flipped at me. Asking why I wasn't stopping doing the sky. I said the sky has to touch the grass. All the other kids in the group were then like "huh? The sky doesn't touch the grass" and to make fun of me they called the teacher over to say "Doesn't the grass stay at the bottom and the sky is up at the top?". She said yes, of course. I said, no, even though the sky is up and grass is down, when you look out at the sea, the sea and the sky touch, and it's called a horizon.

The teacher laughed and claimed that it was silly to think that the sky touches the horizon. To this day I'm angry at the woman. I think it's a pretty impressive grudge.

Victor · 12-04-2012 12:41am

1. Place de la Concorde is not a place in Paris, but an aircraft.

2. The street I lived on had a cul de sac off it, which it doesn't.

3. When I was 6, the teacher believed the teenager who claimed to be my sister was my sister and that I should go home with her. :eek:

Louche Lad · 12-04-2012 12:45am

Agent Smith wrote: »

I wonder if its the same one I had, who insisted that Bonn Was the capital of germany.

It was capital of Germany (not just West Germany). It was only some time after unification that Berlin once again became the capital.

Or maybe not, after reading Wikipedia. It's not that clear.

cocoshovel · 12-04-2012 12:49am

A lot of 1 - 3rd year history is absolute bullshít! Who discovered the world was actually round, who sailed around the earth first, who discovered america etc. There are so many of them I cant even remember.

im invisible · 12-04-2012 12:51am

Im having a hard enough time remembering the correct things i was taught, never mind all the lies, but i know there was a few, pretty big ones aswell

darlett · 12-04-2012 12:53am

My teacher who told us the chernobyl disaster was caused by a major explosion in Sellafield which entered the waters around britain and we were only very fortunate that the current in the irish sea took it away from us towards chernobyl.
I objected, and we traded non researched 'information' before the class for a few minutes before agreeing to disagree. He was actually a great teacher and in fairness to the guy it wasn't on the syllabus and he came into class the next day and without needing to bring it up again he owned up he had things tits up about that disaster. I guess someone had winded him up in the first place.

44leto · 12-04-2012 12:56am

wilkie2006 wrote: »

My teacher gave a classmate an absolute bo11ocking for writing "Xmas", claiming that it was "taking the Christ out of Christmas". Ignorant bitch...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xmas

That is actually interesting from now on it will be happy ymas from me.

12-04-2012 1:01am

Our headmaster was standing in for our teacher one day and told us that the Irish language was forever being changed to be more Anglicised, I can't recall any of the examples he showed us off hand; then he gave us an Irish spelling test. We just assumed he wanted us to use these new spellings he'd just demonstrated for us, but he marked them all wrong and made us write them out over and over. That was around 1988 in primary, I left secondary in 2000 and not once did I ever encounter any of his "new spellings".

nice_very · 12-04-2012 1:01am

the "potato famine"

44leto · 12-04-2012 1:08am

A lot of school Irish history was clearly written by dev, the wolfe tones and the IRA, it took a while of self study and interest to right all that propaganda.

mikemac1 · 12-04-2012 1:08am

Deleted User wrote: »

Our headmaster was standing in for our teacher one day and told us that the Irish language was forever being changed to be more Anglicised

He was correct

Gluastain became carr

fkt · 12-04-2012 1:10am

All the God stuff. Moses, the cross, priests being relevant etc.

girl2 · 12-04-2012 1:10am

stop wrote: »

County Derry - no such thing.

That's only a wee matter of opinion.

im invisible · 12-04-2012 1:18am

That cocaine came from the same plant as the cocoa bean, and this was a secondary school science teacher

Insect Overlord · 12-04-2012 1:18am

mikemac1 wrote: »

He was correct

Gluastain became carr

"Carr" is actually a much older word.

Not sure if you already know that or not. -_-

Statistician · 12-04-2012 1:28am

true-or-false wrote: »

The teacher laughed and claimed that it was silly to think that the sky touches the horizon. To this day I'm angry at the woman. I think it's a pretty impressive grudge.

The sky doesn't touch the horizon. Otherwise, if I keep walking I'd meet the sky. I've never bumped into the sky.

Most incorrect thing you were taught?

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