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Most incorrect thing you were taught?

  • 12-04-2012 12:01am
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 338 ✭✭EmatoelDiablo


    I was just remembering back to years ago, and the terrible information we were taught in school, and the gob****es that believed the nonsense.

    In National school someone asked about Imperial measurements. The response? A pint is exactly 500ml. A mile is half a kilometer, and a furlong was the length of a horse. Dafuq.

    In more recent years we have been taught that there is no such thing as an atheist, and the abuse in the Church is less than it was made out to be.

    So tell me AH'ers, did ye have any similar experiences?


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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,663 ✭✭✭Immaculate Pasta


    *standard After Hours post about the Catholic Church or the existence of God which gets loads of thanks*

    :cool:


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    That "'I before 'e' except after 'c'" is a rule.

    There are more words that break it than there are that conform to it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    I was teached not taught :mad:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,646 ✭✭✭✭Sauve


    That sex is bad for your soul.


  • Registered Users Posts: 789 ✭✭✭The Internet Explorer


    Samantha Brick.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 222 ✭✭marozz


    I remember being told in primary school that " If you don't eat salt you will die". After that I piled the salt on all my meals - It scared the hell out of me. The teacher failed to mention that most foods already have salt in them.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 338 ✭✭EmatoelDiablo


    That "'I before 'e' except after 'c'" is a rule.

    There are more words that break it than there are that conform to it.

    I remember using 'conscience' and 'neighbor' to dispute this.

    YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING! *gives detention*
    Bitch anyway...


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    When I was a young child, my parents told me that my belly button was the screw that held my arse in place. They lied and, boy, did it hurt finding out.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,675 ✭✭✭ronnie3585


    Catch a ni*ger by the toe.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,632 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    The Junior Cert is the most important thing you will ever do.

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,395 ✭✭✭✭mikemac1


    Back in the eighties my teachers told me the Japs were going to take over the world, economy wise

    They were wrong, it's the Chinese


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 755 ✭✭✭sea_monkey


    1+1+1+1+1+1*0=0

    i remember my first maths class in secondary school when the teacher taught us BEMDAS

    i just couldnt understand why i wasnt taught it that way first???


  • Registered Users Posts: 524 ✭✭✭SdoowSirhc


    Last year I had a subsitute geography teacher try to tell me that Brazil is a colony of the USA :confused: dafuq??


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,873 ✭✭✭Skid


    I had a National School teacher who couldn't add up fractions properly.

    She insisted 2 1/2 + 2 1/2 was 4 1/2.

    And you still hear people claiming the Irish Education System is the best in the World :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 889 ✭✭✭stop


    County Derry - no such thing.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,919 ✭✭✭ziggy23


    That god existed:confused:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 594 ✭✭✭carfiosaoorl


    I don't recall being taught anything that was incorrect but my daughters teacher was sick recently and they had a substitute teacher. They were doing angles in maths and for homework they were given a series of shapes and they had to say how many angles the shape had. The first shape was a circle and he told them that a circle has 4 angles :eek: I refused to leave her write that answer in her book and told her to tell him he was wrong. She drew a cross in the circle and showed me where he found the angles. Some people clearly should stay in college longer.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 338 ✭✭EmatoelDiablo


    SdoowSirhc wrote: »
    Last year I had a subsitute geography teacher try to tell me that Brazil is a colony of the USA :confused: dafuq??

    We had an arrested development moment: Portugal and Morocco = South America.... FFS


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,556 ✭✭✭Deus Ex Machina


    *standard After Hours post about the Catholic Church or the existence of God which gets loads of thanks*

    :cool:

    I think you defused that smug bomb. Kudos.

    Edit: Looks like I was wrong (post 17)


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,170 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Not so much taught, but implied. The idea that adults/authority know better.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,009 ✭✭✭✭Run_to_da_hills


    That the Pope was inflammable.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,919 ✭✭✭ziggy23


    I think you defused that smug bomb. Kudos.

    Edit: Looks like I was wrong (post 17)


    :o:oThe cat stepped on my keyboard


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,137 ✭✭✭44leto


    PE I suppose never really use much of that, all the rest of the stuff was useful in someways and others.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,395 ✭✭✭✭mikemac1


    Joined writing

    Seriously, what's the point?
    Having to buy special copy books to practice the letters and then spending so much time trying to get it correct

    The minute I went to secondary school I ditched it all.
    Just type in print, like the letters in this post [edit, arial font actually, not this times new roman]
    Easier and clearer


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 338 ✭✭EmatoelDiablo


    stop wrote: »
    County Derry - no such thing.

    Ah, the LondonDerry conundrum...


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,513 ✭✭✭bb1234567


    Skid wrote: »
    I had a National School teacher who couldn't add up fractions properly.

    She insisted 2 1/2 + 2 1/2 was 4 1/2.

    And you still hear people claiming the Irish Education System is the best in the World :rolleyes:
    Never once in my life heard anybody ever claim that:) and theres a reason for that...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 513 ✭✭✭x_Ellie_x


    When I was in primary school, my teacher used to tell us how lucky we were because our religion class was taught to us by the parish priest. Our parish priest was FR. TONY WALSH!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,189 ✭✭✭✭RobbingBandit


    Had a history teacher who insisted Ireland was part of the commonwealth,yes she was a Rangers fan.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,053 ✭✭✭wilkie2006


    My teacher gave a classmate an absolute bo11ocking for writing "Xmas", claiming that it was "taking the Christ out of Christmas". Ignorant bitch...
    the "X" comes from the Greek letter Chi, which is the first letter of the Greek word Χριστός, translated as "Christ".[2] There is a common misconception that the word Xmas is a secular attempt to remove the religious tradition from Christmas[3] by taking the "Christ" out of "Christmas".

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xmas


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 338 ✭✭EmatoelDiablo


    wilkie2006 wrote: »
    My teacher gave a classmate an absolute bo11ocking for writing "Xmas", claiming that it was "taking the Christ out of Christmas". Ignorant bitch...



    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xmas

    Thanks for that. Never knew! Handy information :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,395 ✭✭✭✭mikemac1


    x_Ellie_x wrote: »
    Our parish priest was FR. TONY WALSH!!

    Ye were lucky, he sounds like a cool guy :cool:
    In the late 1970s Father Walsh became part of Father Michael Cleary's All Priests Show as an Elvis impersonator.[1][2]

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Cleary_(priest)


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,053 ✭✭✭wilkie2006


    Had a history teacher who insisted Ireland was part of the commonwealth,yes she was a Rangers fan.

    Really? I'm a bit skeptical about that...

    Was this is the republic or NI?


  • Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 21,504 Mod ✭✭✭✭Agent Smith


    SdoowSirhc wrote: »
    Last year I had a subsitute geography teacher try to tell me that Brazil is a colony of the USA :confused: dafuq??


    I wonder if its the same one I had, who insisted that Bonn Was the capital of germany.


    (i showed that bitch a capital.... Bitches Love capitals....)
    :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,705 ✭✭✭✭Tigger


    the Bohr or Sommerfeld models of atomic therory

    why oh why teach us this only to tell us it was untrue


  • Posts: 3,505 [Deleted User]


    Actually one of the only memories of being young are of being told something stupid by a teacher.

    One time in Junior or Senior infants we were broken up into groups and had to do collages. My group of about 6 were doing a typical kids pic - grass, sky, sun, house, you know the type.
    Anyway I was doing a little corner of sky, bringing it down to meet the grass - when one of the other kids flipped at me. Asking why I wasn't stopping doing the sky. I said the sky has to touch the grass. All the other kids in the group were then like "huh? The sky doesn't touch the grass" and to make fun of me they called the teacher over to say "Doesn't the grass stay at the bottom and the sky is up at the top?". She said yes, of course. I said, no, even though the sky is up and grass is down, when you look out at the sea, the sea and the sky touch, and it's called a horizon.

    The teacher laughed and claimed that it was silly to think that the sky touches the horizon. To this day I'm angry at the woman. I think it's a pretty impressive grudge.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 78,490 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    1. Place de la Concorde is not a place in Paris, but an aircraft.

    2. The street I lived on had a cul de sac off it, which it doesn't.

    3. When I was 6, the teacher believed the teenager who claimed to be my sister was my sister and that I should go home with her. :eek:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,091 ✭✭✭Louche Lad


    I wonder if its the same one I had, who insisted that Bonn Was the capital of germany.

    It was capital of Germany (not just West Germany). It was only some time after unification that Berlin once again became the capital.

    Or maybe not, after reading Wikipedia. It's not that clear.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,041 ✭✭✭cocoshovel


    A lot of 1 - 3rd year history is absolute bullshít! Who discovered the world was actually round, who sailed around the earth first, who discovered america etc. There are so many of them I cant even remember.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,372 ✭✭✭im invisible


    Im having a hard enough time remembering the correct things i was taught, never mind all the lies, but i know there was a few, pretty big ones aswell


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,313 ✭✭✭darlett


    My teacher who told us the chernobyl disaster was caused by a major explosion in Sellafield which entered the waters around britain and we were only very fortunate that the current in the irish sea took it away from us towards chernobyl.
    I objected, and we traded non researched 'information' before the class for a few minutes before agreeing to disagree. He was actually a great teacher and in fairness to the guy it wasn't on the syllabus and he came into class the next day and without needing to bring it up again he owned up he had things tits up about that disaster. I guess someone had winded him up in the first place.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,137 ✭✭✭44leto


    wilkie2006 wrote: »
    My teacher gave a classmate an absolute bo11ocking for writing "Xmas", claiming that it was "taking the Christ out of Christmas". Ignorant bitch...



    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xmas

    That is actually interesting from now on it will be happy ymas from me.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Our headmaster was standing in for our teacher one day and told us that the Irish language was forever being changed to be more Anglicised, I can't recall any of the examples he showed us off hand; then he gave us an Irish spelling test. We just assumed he wanted us to use these new spellings he'd just demonstrated for us, but he marked them all wrong and made us write them out over and over. That was around 1988 in primary, I left secondary in 2000 and not once did I ever encounter any of his "new spellings".


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,723 ✭✭✭nice_very


    the "potato famine"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,137 ✭✭✭44leto


    A lot of school Irish history was clearly written by dev, the wolfe tones and the IRA, it took a while of self study and interest to right all that propaganda.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,395 ✭✭✭✭mikemac1


    Our headmaster was standing in for our teacher one day and told us that the Irish language was forever being changed to be more Anglicised

    He was correct

    Gluastain became carr ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 411 ✭✭fkt


    All the God stuff. Moses, the cross, priests being relevant etc.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 654 ✭✭✭girl2


    stop wrote: »
    County Derry - no such thing.

    That's only a wee matter of opinion.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,372 ✭✭✭im invisible


    That cocaine came from the same plant as the cocoa bean, and this was a secondary school science teacher


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,912 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    mikemac1 wrote: »
    He was correct

    Gluastain became carr ;)

    "Carr" is actually a much older word.

    Not sure if you already know that or not. -_-


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 256 ✭✭Statistician



    The teacher laughed and claimed that it was silly to think that the sky touches the horizon. To this day I'm angry at the woman. I think it's a pretty impressive grudge.

    The sky doesn't touch the horizon. Otherwise, if I keep walking I'd meet the sky. I've never bumped into the sky.


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