Most incorrect thing you were taught?

boomkatalog

Yes, I had no penis and I was 11, dying for a **** from a 40something woman :rolleyes:

token101

boomkatalog wrote: »

Yes, I had no penis and I was 11, dying for a **** from a 40something woman :rolleyes:

Damn straight

Canard

Actually my geography teacher (remember, I'm in sixth year) constantly lectures me when I start a sentence with because. Not only is that the most ridiculous piece of primary school education, I dont know why hes insisting on it when I clearly make sense!

For example we did a question on meanders - I wrote "Because the river flows fast, it erodes the bank" and he circled the because. Yet English is one of my best subjects. :rolleyes:

Patchy~

Patchy~ wrote: »

Actually my geography teacher (remember, I'm in sixth year) constantly lectures me when I start a sentence with because. Not only is that the most ridiculous piece of primary school education, I dont know why hes insisting on it when I clearly make sense!

For example we did a question on meanders - I wrote "Because the river flows fast, it erodes the bank" and he circled the because. Yet English is one of my best subjects. :rolleyes:

I was always told not to start a sentence with 'and' 'but' or 'because.' Didn't stop me doing it in an informal sense but I still think about it when I do.

tony007

quickbeam wrote: »

Not really incorrectly things taught, but a few things that bugged me about school also: we had a choir class in primary school. I couldn't sing for shit so she told me to just mouth the words. I would have thought that the point of school was to teach a subject (ie singing) rather than just allowing those that already knew how to do it to participate.

Very good point.

Canard

Karsini wrote: »

I was always told not to start a sentence with 'and' 'but' or 'because.' Didn't stop me doing it in an informal sense but I still think about it when I do.

I can see the sense with and/but, but because was only referring to reading comprehensions in primary school, dunno why hes so picky with it - changed it to 'due to' and he didnt say anything :pac:

I use and/but for short stories though or for effect, thats formal enough. I'd take it with a pinch of salt :P

jaja321

Patchy~ wrote: »

Karsini wrote: »

I was always told not to start a sentence with 'and' 'but' or 'because.' Didn't stop me doing it in an informal sense but I still think about it when I do.

I can see the sense with and/but, but because was only referring to reading comprehensions in primary school, dunno why hes so picky with it - changed it to 'due to' and he didnt say anything :pac:

I use and/but for short stories though or for effect, thats formal enough. I'd take it with a pinch of salt :P

One of my primary school teachers gave out to me for starting sentences with because too, drove me nuts! I argued that it made perfect sense, but she wouldn't hear of it. :-(

The King of Moo

Patchy~ wrote: »

Actually my geography teacher (remember, I'm in sixth year) constantly lectures me when I start a sentence with because. Not only is that the most ridiculous piece of primary school education, I dont know why hes insisting on it when I clearly make sense!

For example we did a question on meanders - I wrote "Because the river flows fast, it erodes the bank" and he circled the because. Yet English is one of my best subjects. :rolleyes:

Karsini wrote: »

I was always told not to start a sentence with 'and' 'but' or 'because.' Didn't stop me doing it in an informal sense but I still think about it when I do.

jaja321 wrote: »

One of my primary school teachers gave out to me for starting sentences with because too, drove me nuts! I argued that it made perfect sense, but she wouldn't hear of it. :-(

Because some people think particular things which were deemed "proper" English in the past are 100% grammatically correct, they think they can lecture people about how they speak.

And I think that's wrong!

To rudely lecture people is not nice!

Nothing wrong with starting sentences with "because" and "and," don't mind them!

Pherekydes

The King of Moo wrote: »

Because some people think particular things which were deemed "proper" English in the past are 100% grammatically correct, they think they can lecture people about how they speak.

And I think that's wrong!

To rudely lecture people is not nice!

Nothing wrong with starting sentences with "because" and "and," don't mind them!

See what he did there?

Split infinitives, too.

The King of Moo

Pherekydes wrote: »

See what he did there?

Split infinitives, too.

Spotter's* Badge for that .

*I'll never stoop to leaving out apostrophes though!

AngryBollix

That a college education was a worthwhile and enriching experience

Tesco Massacre

,Yeah, starting sentences with 'because' or 'and' is fine. It's a new syntactical era, yo.

Sh*t, sometimes I start a sentence with a comma just to piss people off.

Solair

Patchy~ wrote: »

Actually my geography teacher (remember, I'm in sixth year) constantly lectures me when I start a sentence with because. Not only is that the most ridiculous piece of primary school education, I dont know why hes insisting on it when I clearly make sense!

For example we did a question on meanders - I wrote "Because the river flows fast, it erodes the bank" and he circled the because. Yet English is one of my best subjects. :rolleyes:

There's nothing wrong with starting a sentence with because, as long as you are writing complete sentences and not fragments.

"Because the river is fast flowing." = Fragment.
"Because the river is fast flowing, it erodes the bank." = Grammatically correct, two-clause sentence."

Your teacher clearly has it in his/her head that you cannot start a sentence with a conjunction. There is actually no grammatical rule about that. It's just a style issue!

falan

I remember when i was about 9 going to school in England, my teacher trying to tell me that there were no foxes in Ireland....I think she meant snakes...:D

RichieC

i cant really think what the most wrongest was..

Solair

My business studies teacher told us that Bill Gates invented the internet!!!
:eek::eek::eek::eek:

token101

We were made to learn Mull of Kintyre in 3rd class. For years I thought the Mull of Kintyre was in West Cork and that the song was sung by some Irish folk singer. I eventually discovered that the Mull of Kintyre wasn't in West Cork in 5th class geography, but I didn't actually learn the truth about the song being sung by Wings until about 4 years ago Why the f*** we were taught that song still baffles me

finality

finality wrote: »

A substitute teacher was trying to teach my biology class about food chains in fifth year, she was telling us that in general animals increase in size along the food chain, fair enough, she was doing well.
She then attempted to illustrate this with an example: "so, a fox would eat a rabbit, and something bigger would eat a fox, like a cow".
Cows eat foxes?? She genuinely wasn't even joking. :pac:

falan wrote: »

I remember when i was about 9 going to school in England, my teacher trying to tell me that there were no foxes in Ireland....I think she meant snakes...:D

Ah that'd have a terrible impact on the Irish dairy industry.

Solair

We were taught Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds...

Eh, thinking back on it... Some of our teachers would have been better doing stand-up comedy.

shantolog

If there is one thing we should take out of this thread, it is that children are not idiots, and we should stop treating them that way...

token101

Solair wrote: »

We were taught Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds...

Eh, thinking back on it... Some of our teachers would have been better doing stand-up comedy.

The same teacher who taught us Mull of Kintyre taught us Óró se do bheatha bhaile, Eleanor Rigby, and Two Little Boys. Strange but it was better than Maths!!!!

Solair

token101 wrote: »

The same teacher who taught us Mull of Kintyre taught us Óró se do bheatha bhaile, Eleanor Rigby, and Two Little Boys. Strange but it was better than Maths!!!!

We had Yoga classes in transition year where you basically went out and chilled on the grass on a sunny day while trying to catalogue all the sounds you could hear!

Jesus Wept

Solair wrote: »

My business studies teacher told us that Bill Gates invented the internet!!!
:eek::eek::eek::eek:

Al Gore would have a thing or two to say about that.

jill_valentine

Karsini wrote: »

In a sex ed class in 2nd year I was told that self stimulation makes you a bad lover.

Maybe they were just finding it distracting and wanted you to lay off a bit.

cianisgood

that the sun is made of gas

cianisgood

also ireland has a strong economy lol

partyatmygaff

johnt91 wrote: »

Blood is blue, until it touches oxygen.

wrmwit wrote: »

I remember our science teacher telling us that our blood was the colour blue, hence our blue vains. It turns red when it reacts with air and light! How mad is that!

Technically, neither is correct.

The haemoglobin (deoxyhaemoglobin) protein in red blood cells which carries oxygen and carbon dioxide (As well as poisons like CO) has a subsection which contains what is known as a chromophore which is a conjugated system of bonds. This chromophore absorbs a certain part of the visible spectrum giving the molecule a very intense purple-red colour.

When haemoglobin forms a complex or binds to oxygen, it becomes oxyhaemoglobin and the colour becomes a vibrant bright red due to the change in "shape" of the molecule resulting from the presence of the oxygen atoms.

In the veins however, there is carbaminohaemoglobin which is a carbon dioxide - haemoglobin complex. Carbaminohaemoglobin has a dark red-purple colour to it which when viewed in the veins under the skin appears bluish.


/Yes... this definitely counts as study for my physiology exam...

44leto

You forget the thing we learned in school that wasn't on the curriculum, socialisation skills, group politics, girls, the latest Zeitgeist, how wrong all those lessons were. It's part of growing up and experiences I suppose.

MrSnuffleupagus

Had a maths teacher who couldn't pronounce "parallelogram"

She'd go "perell... er..." and then just sorta trail off :rolleyes:


I also had to argue with a (different) JC teacher because she thought (as the rest of the class did) that to find the difference between a positive and negative number you subtract it

e.g. difference between -6 and 20 = 20-6 = 14

When I pointed out the error she called me "selfish" for interrupting class

Guy:Incognito

finality wrote: »

That reminds me of my English teacher, she pronounces hyperbole as "hyper bowl".

Is that where the winners of the superbowl play the winners of the lingerie bowl?

Jesus Wept

I'm still incredibly pissed off about the 'i' before 'e' thing.

I still spelled weird incorrectly until a few years ago.
Now that's wierd isn't it.

Guy:Incognito

Ghost Buster wrote: »

Voter 'YES' for jobs.

Vote yes and we'll all be on €1.34 an hour

t1mm

"If its on the internet, its right!" (as in correct)

:O

daveyt

I remember studying the Franco Prussian war with a teacher new to the subject. Long story short, she thought that Prussia was a mixture of Poland and Russia.

Run_to_da_hills

Transubstantiation.

Duggys Housemate

Run_to_da_hills wrote: »

Transubstantiation.

See I bet you weren't taught transubstantiation, I learnt the theory later on in life, and it made philosophical sense for it's time.

c_man

Where to start really! I suppose it's easy to write off the completely disproven guff we were fed e.g. "ye won't be able to walk outside when ye hit your twenties without a radiation suit due to the damage to the ozone layer" and that message being incorporated into a Christmas play :eek:

I remember in JC (2000) having a talk from a Professor dude attempting to get us into engineering. He said he'd no doubt that most of us would be involved in mining aluminium from dumps as the world would be running out of it by 2010, and we were also told that oil would be flowing in from the Corrib field making us all rich

Paparazzo

Run_to_da_hills wrote: »

Transubstantiation.

They never thought that, they know that even 5 year old kids would call bullshít on it!

Grayson

Duggys Housemate wrote: »

See I bet you weren't taught transubstantiation, I learnt the theory later on in life, and it made philosophical sense for it's time.

I was taught it in religion class. But we had lessons in dogma and doctorine. Very strange school.

eoferrall

finality wrote: »

That reminds me of my English teacher, she pronounces hyperbole as "hyper bowl". Luckily American Dad taught me the correct pronunciation, but I don't have the heart to say it to her. :P

american english versus british english. came to english via french which has silent e so either pronunciation is correct really or least that's what I learnt. tomato tomato sort of thing vase vase vase also. maybe I have learnt something new (was wrong) today too....:pac:

deman

At National school, I had my essay on the sun torn up because I referred to the sun as a star at a centre of our solar system. She shouted "the sun is NOT a star, it is THE SUN"

We were told at college that we needed to know 80 character long equations of by heart. This was before the modern computer age, but not before text books.

Our maths teacher taught us that a polygon was a dead parrot

We were told that you will never get anywhere in life if you can't spell, yet there are many people with Master's degrees that can't even spell simple everyday 4 letter words, such as "does".

wrmwit

partyatmygaff wrote: »

Technically, neither is correct.

The haemoglobin (deoxyhaemoglobin) protein in red blood cells which carries oxygen and carbon dioxide (As well as poisons like CO) has a subsection which contains what is known as a chromophore which is a conjugated system of bonds. This chromophore absorbs a certain part of the visible spectrum giving the molecule a very intense purple-red colour.

When haemoglobin forms a complex or binds to oxygen, it becomes oxyhaemoglobin and the colour becomes a vibrant bright red due to the change in "shape" of the molecule resulting from the presence of the oxygen atoms.

In the veins however, there is carbaminohaemoglobin which is a carbon dioxide - haemoglobin complex. Carbaminohaemoglobin has a dark red-purple colour to it which when viewed in the veins under the skin appears bluish.


/Yes... this definitely counts as study for my physiology exam...

So my teacher was both right and wrong!

pickarooney

Africa wrote: »

so? Perhaps theyll learn something and realise that sometimes we are all a bit naive

Also, to the parks thing, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urban_park#Urban_parks_by_size

We're way off, and not even biggest in europe.

It's not even the biggest 'Phoenix park'.

Run_to_da_hills

Paparazzo wrote: »

They never thought that, they know that even 5 year old kids would call bullshít on it!

A bit of round wafer that has been magically turned into Jesus and some cheap supermarket wine that have been magically turned into His blood.

The Eucharist is a required sacrifice and we were then told that we would go to hell if we didn't eat it once a year, truly believing it contains the soul, divinity, blood, body, toenails, guts and eyeballs of Jesus. :eek:

Thank God I now take the Lords supper as symbolic.

I was thaught that there were 5 continents
1. North America
2. South America
3. Eurasia
4. Africa
5. Australia

I even questioned Antartica and was told that there was no land, only Ice.

Questioned how they kept woodworms from eating through the ship on Noah's Arc in senior infants and my mam got called in!

facemelter

Once in history class , we were watching some old movie and there was a train in one of the scenes , one boy in the class asked what was coming out of the top and I shouted out ( cause I was a little **** back in primary school) SMOKE !! ITS SMOKE ! , the teacher started giving out for me for talking ****e , then he said the words that made me lose all faith in teaching in Ireland. " its a steam engine , steam comes out t he top " , everyone believed him aswell , got called train boys for weeks !

briany

We were 'taught' in fifth year religion class that when you die, you would go to a room to be judged and a video of your life would play. The Virgin Mary would be stood behind you, playing devil's advocate on the venial sins, chiming in with "Oh, he/she didn't mean that really." etc.

One student was suspended for arguing about God with the religion teacher.

Also forced to sit through these types of videos.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwwU7EdqNx4

The change over from the "De la" to SCC did not a secular school make.

Xivilai

swallowing chewing gum will stick to your insides, my mom still swears by it

Also, free discarded baloons in the playground are not to be played with. Lies all. >:-(

Run_to_da_hills

That earwigs could crawl into your ear and burst your eardrum with their nippers. :eek:

Can remember letting out a scream in primary when one crawled up my leg in class.

El Weirdo

Ddad wrote: »

... if I caught someone telling a child they're thick (anyones child) I'd ream em....

Clearly, you and I were taught completely different definitions of that particular word.