Most incorrect thing you were taught?

HandsomeDivil

My teacher in Senior Infants told us that birds don't have brains, hence the term "bird brain".

Paulie Gualtieri

cant really think of any ,

but years ago when my younger brother (7) stayed in my aunts house for a visit or something our older cousin (23) told him "that you have to rub toothpaste in your eyes to keep the ghosts away" cant remember if he did it or not.

mikemac1

Back in primary school and Desert Storm was going on the teacher told us scud missiles would be launched towards Shannon since it was an important location. We were very close to Shannon
Children are gullible and believe what they are told. That wasn't funny, that scared us
Had most of the class believing we were doomed

Smidge

Speaking of ghosts
The "boogeyman" pronounced "booogiman" in Dublin
Was scared of him till I was about 15:o

Paulie Gualtieri

years ago when I was an alter boy the priest used to let us drink the Jesus juice after mass and he'd wrestle us , and he said that there was a new wrestling move called the hidden sausage but I looked it up and ..... aw the dirty fu..........

Umekichi

Apparently all video games are "grey"

My Visual Communications Lectuer, i.e Photoshop Lecturer, insisted for 15 minutes that video games were all "grey" and had no colour until I showed her a screenshot from Okami.
She refused to admit she was wrong.

Turtwig

HandsomeDivil wrote: »

My teacher in Senior Infants told us that birds don't have brains, hence the term "bird brain".

Send him/her this :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6KvPN_Wt8I

uberalles

Why does the bird on the electric power line not get an electric shock? Because you have to touch two cables to get a shock. It was in a erg junior book and the teacher explained this.

So there's me fixing the Christmas lights with a metal scissors years later safe in the knowledge .......

What a shock I got !

ballsymchugh

Louche Lad wrote: »

It was capital of Germany (not just West Germany). It was only some time after unification that Berlin once again became the capital.

Or maybe not, after reading Wikipedia. It's not that clear.

no, you are right. bonn was the capital of west germany and united germany until the parliament building was renovated in berlin a few years after reunification.

mikemac1

Al Gore invented the internet

Actually that was probably the Simpsons and not my teachers

guitarzero

That if you dont do well in your leaving cert all the doors of opportunity will slam shut and you will never amount to anything and have a nice time working the fields and your just going to be an idiot with kick me sign hanging off your ass and your kids will be all "Daddy, daddy, theres no food for the baba, daddy!" and you'll probably end up like Ozzie's dad from Into the West and no one has respect for plumbers anyway and you'll walk straight from the school into the back of a hatch back with some dirty oul' lad askin' you for a lend and your parents will be at home bawling their eyes out and your mates will be high fiving eachother in their robes and then wearing those suits like those people on the DCU prospectus books........that...........dont....actually.............exist.

ToddyDoody

taught a lot of rubbish in economics (what later turned out to be rubbish)

Smidge

I corrected a science teacher twice. Both times I was right.
First time he laughed it off.
Second time he threw one of those wooden dusters at my head, near miss

Pinturicchio

I had a history and English teacher who pronounced the "t" in "depot" and pronounced "Nazi" so that it rhymed with "snazzy".

She also told us that Google Earth was live, so that if you went outside your house and waved into the sky, people could see you on Google Earth.

RobbingBandit

wilkie2006 wrote: »

Really? I'm a bit skeptical about that...

Was this is the republic or NI?

Plunket College in Dublin.

im invisible

Umekichi wrote: »

Apparently all video games are "grey"

My Visual Communications Lectuer, i.e Photoshop Lecturer, insisted for 15 minutes that video games were all "grey" and had no colour until I showed her a screenshot from kami
She refused to admit she was wrong.

ah now, there is a definate grey tint to that, Sonic on the other hand...

In the first month of first year being told that you HAD to have a third language, HAD to have it, or you had no chance of a place in college. Never mind the fact that i was useless at english, and dont talk to me about irish, but you NEED a third language,
shur what kind of eejit wants to do art *and* technical drawing anyway?

jill_valentine

finality wrote: »

A substitute teacher was trying to teach my biology class about food chains in fifth year, she was telling us that in general animals increase in size along the food chain, fair enough, she was doing well.
She then attempted to illustrate this with an example: "so, a fox would eat a rabbit, and something bigger would eat a fox, like a cow".
Cows eat foxes?? She genuinely wasn't even joking. :pac:

It's a pity they don't, it would look brilliant.

Jimmy Iovine

I had a careers teacher and she was a plum. She came into one of our free classes in sixth year and lectured us about colleges. She was writing some word on the board and she got it wrong. I pointed it out to her (mainly to annoy her but also to correct her). She lost the plot and kicked me out of the class. I'll admit I was after annoying her a lot before that. She marched me down to the front office and rang my dad. She was an awful tool. I generally liked most of my teachers but she was a complete and utter fool.

Smidge

Not sure if anyone on here will remember this but we had "uniform inspectors", how's that for annoying

psicic

Well, it's hard to know what we were taught 'wrong' and what has been superceded by more recent discoveries. Also, being taught in a pre-Internet age makes some of the gaffes a bit more understandable, if not excusable.

The tongue map has to be a classic of misinformation. Similar to the tall tale we were told about only using a specific 10% portion of our brain in primary school.

There were general other pieces of misinformation, like you can see the Great Wall of China from Space. Or that Columbus was Spanish and discovered America. Or that the whole venture was to prove the world round because we were too stupid before that to know the world was a globe.

Complete misinterpretation of books like Machiavelli's The Prince.

General bigotry regarding any possible civilization in Africa or from the Arab world. Civilization was put 'on hold' in Europe once Rome collapsed.

The general mixing of history and religion. The certainty with which St. Patrick's life was presented to us. The idea that Jewish slaves built the pyramids.

Hmmm... seems to be a lot of history ones, but plenty of geography stuff and a good dollop of maths stuff we were taught was wrong.

guitarzero

That 4th year was a time for development, learning new things and other amazing sh8t.

I was able to lip sync the entire Deep Impact film by Christmas.

travelledpengy

ones eyes will turn square from watching too much tv

Squaredude

had a maths test in 3rd or 4th class and two of the questions were 10x0= and 0x10= I answered 0 to both.I got one wrong,apparently 0x10=10.

That Pluto was a Planet!

DEFTLEFTHAND

5th class teacher tried to tell the class that Auckland is the capital of New Zealand and not Wellington. The muppet insisted he was right and told me to stay quiet when I piped up with the correction. I was fascinated by the world as a child and would study an Atlas intently for hours ( weird I know but that was me) anyway the point is he wrongly feeded impressionable young minds with geographical inaccuracy because his ego couldn't take been corrected by an 11 year old.

DEFTLEFTHAND

Deleted User wrote: »

That Pluto was a Planet!

It might have been the correct thinking when you were taught it though, I'm fairly sure that Pluto only had its planet status revoked recently.

DEFTLEFTHAND

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

It might have been the correct thinking when you were taught it though, I'm fairly sure that Pluto only had its planet status revoked recently.

True, it was a planet at the time, just proves that "correct" changes over time.

AskMyChocolate

SdoowSirhc wrote: »

Last year I had a subsitute geography teacher try to tell me that Brazil is a colony of the USA dafuq??

Jaysus. Unless s/he was trying to explain it economically (where s/he might still be wrong) , that is seriously worrying. I know very few graduates choose to go into teaching now, but, even so WTF?

If s/he honestly believed, geographically or politically that Brazil was an American colony, we seriously have to look at how we recruit and remunerate our teachers.

I mean, most of my peers would know a lot more, and we certainly wouldn't be fit/suited to teach anything, never mind geography.


Btw Sdoow, "subsitute", "dafuq". I'd say your substitute English teacher was nothing to write home about either. I'd have had a clip 'round the ear for using btw.

NakedNNettles

Those who can't do, teach.

Those who can't teach, teach PE.

And that's why we all get the education we deserve.

Meauldsegosha

Taught by the nuns in school -

Hanging around with boys will get you pregnant
Sitting on a boys lap will get you pregnant
Holding hands with a boy will get you pregnant

I've done all those things and no babies yet.