Most incorrect thing you were taught?

Bruce7

In my primary school you could take extra classes in French after school to prepare you for secondary entrance exams. It cost money and was just a scam for the teachers to make a few extra quid. They didn't know any French.

One guy, when asked the French for computer, woudln't admit that he didn't know, and said that because computers were such new inventions (in about 1985) the French hadn't come up with their own word for them yet, so they just said computer in a French accent: Compute-air

Another bimbo was teaching us to count past seventy and insisted that 71 was soixante dix et un, 72 was soixante dix et deux, and that the dictionary which said otherwise was wrong.

Actually the first one and the second one ended up getting married, and, presumably, doing the soixante-neuf together.

Meauldsegosha

2 stroke wrote: »

your not doing it right.

Ah I think I'm doing ok, no complaints so far Although I have moved on to men rather that boys, maybe thats the problem I should go back to boys :eek:

sbEdge

We had a right dope teaching us Woodwork and Construction Studies. Throughout our 6 years of secondary school he told us some stuff that was completely wrong.

Paper has no thickness.

Condensation on the inside of a window is actually rainwater coming through the glass.

And the best one of all; He was telling us how a mixture of different metals is called an alloy, he added, that's why the British and American troops in World War 2 were called the Alloys.

What a fool.

Sky King

Maybe he was just teaching a shop class full of gullible dum-dums fake facts for his own amusement.

That's what I would do.

El Siglo

Carrots are good for your eyesight... The reality was that RAF pilots during the Battle of Britain were given larger rations of carrots because there were short supplies on most other food and their high kill ratio was not due to their improved eyesight with eating so many carrots but because there was a vast network of radar stations on the south coast of England which alerted them exactly where the Luftwaffe was flying in from.

Big Nasty

El Siglo wrote: »

Carrots are good for your eyesight... The reality was that RAF pilots during the Battle of Britain were given larger rations of carrots because there were short supplies on most other food and their high kill ratio was not due to their improved eyesight with eating so many carrots but because there was a vast network of radar stations on the south coast of England which alerted them exactly where the Luftwaffe was flying in from.

Yeah but did ya ever see a rabbit wearing glasses?:D

Newaglish

El Siglo wrote: »

Carrots are good for your eyesight... The reality was that RAF pilots during the Battle of Britain were given larger rations of carrots because there were short supplies on most other food and their high kill ratio was not due to their improved eyesight with eating so many carrots but because there was a vast network of radar stations on the south coast of England which alerted them exactly where the Luftwaffe was flying in from.

Isn't the beta-carotene in carrots good for your eyes?

joeperry

That Irelands flag was green white and gold.

Dan133269

Paulie Gualtieri wrote: »

years ago when I was an alter boy the priest used to let us drink the Jesus juice after mass and he'd wrestle us , and he said that there was a new wrestling move called the hidden sausage but I looked it up and ..... aw the dirty fu..........

Haha, fits in with your username too, he was an alter boy.
Them priests are cocksuckers!

Bruce7 wrote: »

In my primary school you could take extra classes in French after school to prepare you for secondary entrance exams. It cost money and was just a scam for the teachers to make a few extra quid. They didn't know any French.

Entrance exams in French? oh la la, what kind of posh secondary school did you go to?

joeperry wrote: »

That Irelands flag was green white and gold.

Unfortunately, it seems some idiots still believe this, even so-called "journalists"
http://www.independent.ie/national-news/tricolour-is-finally-raised-two-famous-patriots-3074596.html

I corrected a teacher in 1st year on the meaning of chemist, he thought it was the same thing as pharmacist. I was being a bit pedantic alright. His reaction was priceless - "Look Dan, that's what the word meant when I was growing up, alright" then he proceeded to mumble inaudibly and glance sneeringly in my direction for about 30 seconds while walking in circles around his desk.

I had to tell another teacher there was no dot on a capital i. He wasn't an English teacher, in fairness to him.

We had a science and biology teacher who used to start classes with a prayer. This was in the late 90's and early 00's.

Best one was a christian brother who told us the virgin Mary appears every Friday at a certain specified time on the dot in some country in the former Yugoslavia. When I asked him why television cameras don't go there, he said "oh sure everyone is so used to it now, they don't bother going. Just a few locals go there every week to talk to her". He was a very nice fella but obviously deluded.

Optimalprimerib

dolanbaker wrote: »

That Pluto was a Planet!

Pluto is a planet dammit, I refuse to believe otherwise

Al Capwned

joeperry wrote: »

That Irelands flag was green white and gold.

This pisses me off no end! My kids are still being told this in school - I told the older one to go in and tell her teacher she was wrong, and there was three or four other kids whose parents told them the same thing!!

blue5000

In Ag college a lecturer tried to convince us that 10 acres was enough land for 100 ewes:o

upandcumming

blue5000 wrote: »

In Ag college a lecturer tried to convince us that 10 acres was enough land for 100 ewes:o

Yea eh, what a madman...

Al Capwned

Optimalprimerib wrote: »

Pluto is a planet dammit, I refuse to believe otherwise

Pluto is 2300km wide, smaller than the Four Galiliean moons of Jupiter....
:cool:

OldGoat

Skid wrote: »

I had a National School teacher who couldn't add up fractions properly.

She insisted 2 1/2 + 2 1/2 was 4 1/2.

2 halves + 2 halves is 4 halves. She was right after all. Yay.

_LilyRose_

There's a teacher in my school- geography and English- who pronounces 'tsunami' like 'tu-sami'. No word of a lie. Students have said it to her, but she just tells them they're wrong.

Al Capwned

_LilyRose_ wrote: »

There's a teacher in my school- geography and English- who pronounces 'tsunami' like 'tu-sami'. No word of a lie. Students have said it to her, but she just tells them they're wrong.

Blast her with piss.......

wilkie2006

RobbingBandit wrote: »

Plunket College in Dublin.

How did she get away with that? I mean, as a history teacher?! That's pretty mad...

wilkie2006

joeperry wrote: »

That Irelands flag was green white and gold.

That's a very good one. Every year we were told to make Paddy's Day cards with green, white and yellow paper. I mean, the orange is quite fundamental to our recent history, no? How the fcuk can a teacher get that wrong?

skimpydoo

When I was six my parents were called in by my teacher because I told her in front of the class she was a liar. We were doing nursery rhymes and she was teaching us Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle. When she finished telling us I told her she was a liar as its impossible for cow's to jump over the moon. My parents told her they would talk to me but that in fairness I was right.

Kolido

Statistician wrote: »

The sky doesn't touch the horizon. Otherwise, if I keep walking I'd meet the sky. I've never bumped into the sky.

Are you suggesting that if you keep walking you will meet the horizon?
You do know it's imaginary, not an actual place.

ballsymchugh wrote: »

no, you are right. bonn was the capital of west germany and united germany until the parliament building was renovated in berlin a few years after reunification.

Just to add, Bonn was only capital of West Germany, even though the parliament of Germany remained there untill the late 90's.
Berlin has been the capital of Germany since 1990.

kevohmsford

That Pluto was a planet

dazzlemoo

In primary school, I'd done some homework (can't remember what it was), and after handing it in to the teacher to be marked, she'd crossed out the word "gorgeous" and wrote "georgeous".
When I asked what I'd done, she said "gorgeous" was the wrong spelling.
I told her it wasn't, but she told me not to give back cheek and that she was right.
She wasnt....

Plazaman

Deleted User wrote: »

That Pluto was a Planet!

JustAddWater wrote: »

That pluto was a planet!

kevohmsford wrote: »

That Pluto was a planet

It's echoey too. Mickey Mouse won't be one bit happy.

LenaClaire

I had a friend who lived in Kentucky for a while in primary school and she was taught that the South won the US Civil War - or as her teacher called it - The War of Northern Aggression.

rain on

Had a substitute teacher in fourth class who insisted that Ireland's smallest bird was the wren and not the goldcrest. I was a total bird nerd as a child and was disgusted at this blatant display of ignorance. It still annoys me now :mad: goldcrests are feckin TINY!

byhookorbycrook

mikemac1 wrote: »

Joined writing

Seriously, what's the point?
Having to buy special copy books to practice the letters and then spending so much time trying to get it correct

The minute I went to secondary school I ditched it all.
Just type in print, like the letters in this post [edit, arial font actually, not this times new roman]
Easier and clearer

Cursive writing improves speed and also ,would you believe, spelling. It is also very good for children with dyslexia as they learn the word as a whole pattern.

JonSnuuu

Blood is blue, until it touches oxygen.

_LilyRose_

johnt91 wrote: »

Blood is blue, until it touches oxygen.

Isn't this true??

mikemac1

kevohmsford wrote: »

That Pluto was a planet

It's not? :eek:

Away to wikipedia for me, this is the first I've heard of this

Thanks AH for curing my ignorance

Grayson

On mentioning that other planets had moons I was told they didn't. Only earth had a moon. that's why it's called "THE" moon.

clashburke

that if you dont eat your crusts you turn into a girl!! had the whole boys primary school ****ten it!!:o:o

That there is 4 pages of meaning in a 7 line poem:mad::eek:

i hated school lies

kylith

That Pluto has a temperature of +675C.
That it takes 3 people to make a baby; a man, a woman, and god.
That scavengers are dead animals, and carrion are animals that eat scavengers.

corktina

The King of Moo wrote: »

That "'I before 'e' except after 'c'" is a rule.

There are more words that break it than there are that conform to it.

Is that you Stephen Fry?

mikemac1

Sinks drain the other way round in the southern hemisphere to us.
No idea if it was clockwise or anti-clockwise, all I know is it's supposed to be the opposite

Then I was told was a myth

Me is confused

prinz

I had a teacher who over the course of a number of years continuously corrected the spelling of my name in Irish and marked me down because there was no 'double n' in Irish... for some reason words like clann etc were exempt from the double n rule but I think bringing that up the first time he corrected me just made him continue to correct it tbh.

JonSnuuu

_LilyRose_ wrote: »

Isn't this true??

Nope, total bull! The blood is darker when it's deoxygenated but it's still red!

kylith

prinz wrote: »

I had a teacher who over the course of a number of years continuously corrected the spelling of my name in Irish and marked me down because there was no 'double n' in Irish... for some reason words like clann etc were exempt from the double n rule but I think bringing that up the first time he corrected me just made him continue to correct it tbh.

That teacher couldn't have been more wrong: Grainne, Donnachadh.. I'm sure there are others.

mathie

finality wrote: »

A substitute teacher was trying to teach my biology class about food chains in fifth year, she was telling us that in general animals increase in size along the food chain, fair enough, she was doing well.
She then attempted to illustrate this with an example: "so, a fox would eat a rabbit, and something bigger would eat a fox, like a cow".
Cows eat foxes?? She genuinely wasn't even joking. :pac:

I've seen a cow eat a fox on p0rnhub

prinz

kylith wrote: »

That teacher couldn't have been more wrong: Grainne, Donnachadh.. I'm sure there are others.

He was a tosser anyway, I think he made a mistake the first time (it was because of the double n, or it was 'nnr' or something. He'd always cross one n out) and because I threw the other examples back at him he just had an axe to grind. Every time we'd have to sign homework we'd hand up and he'd put a big red x through my name, and every week I'd sign it the same way. Went on for 3 years. Those were the days.

suicide_circus

Pinturicchio wrote: »

She also told us that Google Earth was live, so that if you went outside your house and waved into the sky, people could see you on Google Earth.

You had Google Earth is school? **** I'm old.

Kolido

mikemac1 wrote: »

Well now, if there are ten sheep in a field and one breaks out then there will be nine sheep left in the field

Must have be a city slicker, she knows fook all about sheep

The correct answer is zero sheep left in the field

Can you explain please, I seem to be missing something.

Technically 10 - 1 =9

mikemac1

I messed it up and explained it badly

If one sheep breaks out it's guaranteed the rest will follow

FAIL on my part


It's the same thing as ten birds on a wall and you shoot one bird how many are left standing on the wall?
Answer is zero

prinz

Kolido wrote: »

Can you explain please, I seem to be missing something. Technically 10 - 1 =9

City slicker :pac: Where one sheep gets out, 9 will follow quickly behind.

Sky King

I guess it's like if there's ten crows on a wire and you shoot one you'll be left with no crows on the wire

*edit mikemac beat me to it!

Turtwig

That Mercury was the hottest planet in the Solar System. That Mars was our nearest neighbour and the shuttle would visit it one day. That there was no way to send anything further than Mars because we'd lose control of it. I don't mind about Pluto being a planet, it was a planet then.

Being a huge Space enthusiast these were criminal for me. So much so that my teacher told my parents that I had an obsession with Venus.

Perhaps the most significant one though from a personal point of view was that animals had no souls. I think this was pretty much the catalyst that set me off on my long winding journey free of religion.

Grayson

suicide_circus wrote: »

You had Google Earth is school? **** I'm old.

Should I ever have kids, I'm definitely telling them google earth is live

Steven81

My sister in law had twins that are now 6, she told one of them that she had her in the hospital and that after wards she had gone out for a fag and found the other. The ttwins would both tell you the same story.

My wife told her younger brother when she was younger that they found him by a cabbage plant and thats how he was found, coming home crying when he was 10 after telling his friends was probably not the coolest thing to do at that age

Kolido

mikemac1 wrote: »

I messed it up and explained it badly

If one sheep breaks out it's guaranteed the rest will follow

FAIL on my part


It's the same thing as ten birds on a wall and you shoot one bird how many are left standing on the wall?
Answer is zero

Nah I understood perfectly I was just taking you up on a technicallity (you spefically said one broke out, not ten), I'm a bad ass like that :pac:

BTW if those birds are blonde, I would imagine there would be nine left

Haelium

I was told that birds weren't animals, the context was that we were to do a project, but it couldn't be on an animal. Most people did birds.
I was also told that chicken wasn't meat and that all meat came from cows.
There was also the religious stuff about miracles that they taught us as fact.
Finally, I was told that WW1 involved Hitler.

Primary school teachers generally seem to be a bit thick, but what bothered me more than the fact that the teacher was a bit ignorant was that my classmates taught that teachers were always right.