Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

I should be pretty excited right now; I'm going to China soon and I'm applying for a Masters over in England which I'll hopefully get. 2012 should be a good year.

But I can never be happy New Year's Eve. Ever. Like I almost started crying a minute ago for no particular reason other than "it's NYE tonight". No matter how much I have to look forward to, all I can ever do on NYE is look back over the stuff that's gone on in the past. I'll think about things I regret, things I lost, mistakes I made, people I let down, people who let me down...and it all just makes me feel like crap.

Which is why I'm in bed right now and making sure my light is turned off before midnight. I don't wanna be awake when fireworks go off and everyone's acting happy. I'll probably be ok when I wake up tomorrow but from now until I manage to get to sleep all I'm gonna think about is how shít this night is and how depressed it makes me.

Happy new year everyone! Let's hope we have a good year!!

I'm losing all my friends, I just cannot deal with things. I hate feeling everything so much. sick of being down. sick of feeling like i'm a **** person, but it appears to be true. i'm tired of having nobody I can trust. I'm just here. there's nothing more than day to day surviving, hoping that bad things won't happen, so i do just get on with aiming to wake up tomorrow. there isn't any reason. i think it's just standard for people to try convince you there is one. but really, for me there isn't. it's just surviving. it's not living, good things just don't happen to me.

starviewadams wrote: »

Just feel so bloody down and low right now,haven't talked with anyone face to face properly about how I'm feeling since my old psychologist left back in October.Have seen the psych doctor since then but I'm in and out with her in 5/10 mins and we don't really talk about anything else bar how I think my meds are doing.

Think I'm going to go to the Aware daytime meeting tomorrow in town,just to vent my feelings if nothing else.Nothing to lose sure.

is there nobody else you can see (since your old psych)? Aware might be good for you, to get it out there anyway. have you been before?

oh. that's bad. i take it you're not on a medical card, or private insurance so?

yeah sure go, no harm. I didn't find them much use, but it depends on what you're looking for.

you'd think that something that could stop someone causing themselves harm would be not classed as a luxury by the state. it makes me mad, but i can't think about it too much.

let us know if you feel any better after the session tomorrow.

What do you all make of support groups?

I've gone to a couple of meetings over the last two years. I found the attendance locally to be very patchy however it was a chance to speak out loud whatever issues were bothering me.

I've found a few of my old anxiety/low mood issues have slowly increased over the last few months and am considering attending a meeting again

mumbling joe wrote: »

Firstly Im not sure if this is in the wrong section, if it is, sorry, please move

Ok, so about 4 weeks ago I was diagnosed with depression (after about 2 years of the missus telling me to get it sorted), we are a family of 4, about to be 5 in a few days, am over the moon but i seem to be stuck in a rut and im getting nowhere and Im no support at all to my wife. Im turning everything into an argument and what I dont turn into 1 ends up as one cause we are both so highly strung at the moment.

Shes in hospital at the moment, only minor but still, a few days short of delivery date never makes things easy and Im at home with the vomitting bug minding the kids and I cant offer any support, I know where Im going wrong but I just cant stop it, I dont think Im a selfish person in general but im in a world of self pity at the moment.

The last argument was over me being tired while looking after the kids (in my head right now, im trying to defend myself but I know I should be just keeping stum to make sure shes as relaxed as possible) This is the one time I really need to be there for her and Im bitching to myself that shes not here (not physically) for me.

Thats me done for now, I really hope in the next few hours I can get my head sorted out cause its killing me that I can put her in such a bad mood.


Oh, and when was there an elephant in winnie the pooh (I wont even go into the whole thing of christopher robin being replaced by a girl called darby), its on repeat in the house at the moment.

Cheers

M

that is a very good thing, you are challenging your own which you have said yourself selfish thoughts! the next thing is to calm down and try not to lose the rag or score points with the missus. you love her, you are going to be a father again soon concentrate on that if it makes you feel good. also accept that making her feel good = you feeling good, then try hard not to get into silly arguements over silly things. stand back and ask yourself is this good for anything or both of us to be arguing over this and proceed as needed, from what you have said it will be difficult to do this but remember...if she is less stressed she feels better = you feel better

depression is all about knowing your triggers and adapting yourself and surroundings to dealing with these when you are not feeling so good. listen to the dialogue of what you are saying to yourself *this is a general point not aimed at you specifically

do you find yourself saying "I cant do that" "ah..Im stupid I should have.." "there they are.. idiot , should have known they were there! :mad:"
things like this are negative and not good for the head, it chips away at confidence and self worth, these ones are more obvious ones but its the more subtle ones that get through undetected and do the most damage.

so try to learn to listen to your thoughts and 'catch' your self thinking negatively about yourself. then analyse it and see how can be changed and if it was justified and so on, you get the idea..

depression beater here Ive been through the **** these last few years and would happily trade with most people who are diagnosed with depression or who even think they have problems now and heres why

first was having difficulties with college [a normal thing, wait for it it builds..]

then a big car crash - out of college, grants all fcuked up - stress - injuries and so on.

then went back BAM! diagnosed with MS multiple sclerosis can hardly walk anymore 20 meters or so is my limit with a crutch, cant stand for long 10 minutes, constantly off balance, sex life out the window, women need to do more cant be that alpha male anymore in the bedroom. was very fit athlete before this and even then didnt feel life was for me..anyway. I have been VERY close to killing myself this last year.. to the point of major depression and hospitalisation in a mental hospital for weeks. mUCH better with that now thanks! , and considering how pointless I viewed life as before and being suicidal at times then dispite being super fit and strong and healthy I am AMAZED and SOOOOOOOOO pround of how I have dealt with this massive change to my life. what I wouldnt give to have my old life back again, to just walk without having to look at the ground in front of you and like you are down a steep hill. to make eye contact with the person who is walking beside you as you talk. you get the idea

if you cant see a way out of the forest then you cant find your way out
and if you dont know why you keep getting lost, you cant start to find the path out.

think about it. think what really matters. you only get one life. this is not a rehearsal. you need to die trying and NOT while giving up!

now there are going to be a at least a few people who are going to diasagree with this, and fight it, and say but you have no idea blah blah

it is going to alot harder for them to find their way out of their forest, but it can be done it will just be harder for them. but it probably wont if they dont change something about their personality and general perspective on life and what matters and why and all the rest - these people are the most resitant to change so thats another hurdle..anyway try it YOU'RE WORTH IT !

to the others? go for it, build relationships, deeper ones, trust yourself think and analyse, it will take time, but its worth it isnt it?

you only get one life. I would probably kill for your health and levels of normality, I can hardly sit up out of bed for long, like I say I will be getting a wheelchair soon a powered one btw, parts of my body constantly ache, and are clumbsy now. all my friends were athletes like me, I had to leave them, was too painfull to stay knowing my life was changed massively and theirs just carried on as if nothing had happened!

make me feel less jealous of your life and relative normality, if some of you can earn that health and fitness which I dont have now but lots of you posess. basically you dont know how **** things can be REALLY! regardless if you have it **** now, be assured I would trade places with you warts n all. If you already have MAJOR health problems then less so..but Im pretty sure I would trade MS for ANY OTHER ILLNESS!!! - terminal cancer included

Ill enjoy what time I have left to enjoy.

Im free in many ways, free of the general life BS BECAUSE I DONT LET IT AFFECT ME!!!!! and thats the key. your perception.

I feel another downer coming on.what can I do to stop it? I know what its from,as pathetic as it is,but I dont know how to stop it getting to me

nesf wrote: »

Make an appointment with your psychiatrist or GP (depending on which you have) and work out with them what your options are.

Thanks. I just mean a bit of a downer mood, ya know, the usual. well before it happens it's hard to tell how bad it'll be. so far, not too bad. i'm going to see my psych tomorrow. well, i'm going to the clinic tomorrow to see if she'll see me, she may only make an appointment for me.

i'm not sure if there are such things as 'attacks' of anxiety. but this is what i'm experiencing, quite badly at the moment. I'm not sure whether to make an emergency appointment with my counsellor (who is all booked up at the moment) or what to do, to see a doctor. what can a doctor even do for anxiety? Also, it's not easy for me to go to either, i would feel that i would be wasting the counsellors time and even last time I went to the doctor he told me my flu was 'not that bad', I wouldn't be able to take it if he said such a thing about my mental state right now. I have a counselling session in 2 weeks time, I don't think I can wait this long, I feel I am losing my grip on reality

Your Text Here wrote: »

Stupidusername, if you think you need to see someone right away about the change in your meds, would you consider going to casualty this time? I've had to go a few times before (albeit involuntarily) and it does help to talk to the psych on call if you need to, even if you have to wait a while to see them. They will be able to sort out your meds and all if it needs to be done, and might be able to refer you to one of the community nurses or something. Just show them the letter from your psych when you go in and it'll explain it for them. Don't just be a statistic, there's a way out *hugs*

And a *hug* for you too Kaching.

Can you please tell me what happened when you did it? there's something about it putting me off and i just need to know what it involves.

stupidusername wrote: »

Can you please tell me what happened when you did it? there's something about it putting me off and i just need to know what it involves.

Basically the exact same as what starviewadams said. I'm going to split it into little points to make it easier to follow (if you're anything like what I'm like when I was bad, reading big chunks of stuff is impossible)

First of all you're seen by the triage nurse and get some bloods taken (that's what they do in Naas anyway, I don't know is it the same in all of them), and they have a chat for a few minutes as well to see what's up.

After that I was seen by one of the a&e doctors who asked about general health and stuff, and then after another while I saw the psychiatrist. The psych talked to me for about an hour first of all, they do a consult which involves asking questions to get a proper diagnosis (just to see if there are any other possible mental illnesses).

Then after that they asked how was I feeling and just to talk about what sort of ways the suicidal feelings were manifesting themselves, and then just generally what had been going on and stuff. I found it easier than a counselling session at that time because the psych was asking questions, so I didn't have to come up with stuff off the bat.

After that, the psychiatrist asked to speak to my friend who was with me (or they asked to be allowed ring one of them the times I was there on my own). You have to wait another little while, and then they call you back in and tell you what they think is the best thing to do e.g. a change in meds, referral to the community psych services or whatever. The nurses who work with the community psych service are usually lovely. They ring or visit every few days to make sure you're getting on okay.

There is a good bit of waiting around, so if you go, bring something to keep yourself occupied I found it a help any time I went in, and believe me I usually did not want to go in the first place. Hope that helps x

Thanks for all the input.

And the paragraphs, I avoid reading so much stuff on here, cause I can't face the chunks

Ok well it doesn't sound so bad. I think I have visions of not being allowed leave, or make your own decisions once you go in. Though contacting someone I know doesn't sit well with me, but at least it doesn't have to be family.

I'll just see how I go I suppose. Hopefully I'll be ok till next Thursday and hopefully then they'll come up with a solution. Ideally I'd come off my meds (and be ok), and be given a therapy appointment for some time soon. But somehow I doubt it.

Another thing though, does anybody have a real problem with admitting to feeling that bad to a doctor / psych when they ask how you've been? I couldn't admit it to my very first doctor a few years back, and if I had I'd have been in counselling by now. I hate saying it.