Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Sardonicat

stupidusername wrote: »

this is such stupid stuff. i wish i could not worry about it. and yeah it is as simple as just not worrying, for me at least sometimes, but the aftermath is still something the sober me has to deal with. an atmosphere. not being able to sit and watch tv.

I've had housemateds like that. I understand your reaction. A bad atmos is horrible to live in. He's sounds like a dickhead and a bully, creating a negative atmosphere. Nothing in the world abnormal about not wanting to deal with that!

Do you think you could try to stick out the atmos and watch tv anyway? Won't be easy but will get easier with time. And will nip his passive aggression in the bud.;) Only if you feel up to it, mind.

And don't forget that choccy bar tonight!

stupidusername

Sardonicat wrote: »

I've had housemateds like that. I understand your reaction. A bad atmos is horrible to live in. He's sounds like a dickhead and a bully, creating a negative atmosphere. Nothing in the world abnormal about not wanting to deal with that!

Do you think you could try to stick out the atmos and watch tv anyway? Won't be easy but will get easier with time. And will nip his passive aggression in the bud.;) Only if you feel up to it, mind.

And don't forget that choccy bar tonight!

no he's not been bad so far. i'm just assuming it's going to be bad. but experience has taught me that. if there was an atmosphere, i'd probably be better to stick it out, and make sure to do what i want regardless, he'd probably have more respect for me then. he wasn't saying no to the rota like in a really bad way, though i suppose he could've been less dismissive, and more open to discussion, if he could try see why i was bringing it up.

anyway sorry, this isn't about me, or my housemate problems.

gerzle84

I have been following this thread for a while and am now just working up the courage to write something.I have been feeling low since my boyfriend broke up with me and moved back home.I never thought it would happen and thought we would be together for the forseeable future.

I am living abroad and have friends here but they are not being very supportive.I feel very alone and unsure what to do next.I dont feel like I belong where I am living at the moment and also do not feel like I belong at home as unfortunately my mother is an alcoholic.I dont feel I could be at home to see her going through that everyday.I have thought about going travelling to get away from everything.

I have been to the G.P. and he has referred me for counselling.The appointment is not until august although I have been referred to other counsellers in the area for an earlier appointment.I just cant stand being this down everyday.I miss my boyfriend so much and it doesnt seem to be getting any better.

Does anyone have any advice/ideas for me?

Thanks.

irishh_bob

stupidusername wrote: »

yeah I think that's the case for many. for me i think it's more about the way i was brought up, than one particular event. i mean everyone has **** happen them, i'm not saying i'm any worse off, but i just seem to have problems coping and dealing with them.

do you have depression yourself?

i grew up in a dysfunctional household with unhelpfull parents , i went overseas at 20 but had the misfortune of being the victim of extreme bullying in the workplace at the hands of a viscious bitch , this triggered depression and my life was never the same since , i havent changed in over 12 years so i dont consider myself depressed now , im just changed , once depression enters your life , you are never the same again , you loose natural confidence , natural happiness , a part of you dies and no matter how well your life is going , thier is a permanent emptiness , some people cannot live with the loss and choose to end it , others carry on but are a mere shadow of thier former selves , im not into the whole meds and therapy thing , i did it for less than three months over a decade ago , i belive it turns you into a generic , pre programmed clone , like i mentioned earlier , depression robs you off your natural sunny disposition , its impossible to regain something you have lost

RubyXI

gerzle84 wrote: »

I have been following this thread for a while and am now just working up the courage to write something.I have been feeling low since my boyfriend broke up with me and moved back home.I never thought it would happen and thought we would be together for the forseeable future.

I am living abroad and have friends here but they are not being very supportive.I feel very alone and unsure what to do next.I dont feel like I belong where I am living at the moment and also do not feel like I belong at home as unfortunately my mother is an alcoholic.I dont feel I could be at home to see her going through that everyday.I have thought about going travelling to get away from everything.

I have been to the G.P. and he has referred me for counselling.The appointment is not until august although I have been referred to other counsellers in the area for an earlier appointment.I just cant stand being this down everyday.I miss my boyfriend so much and it doesnt seem to be getting any better.

Does anyone have any advice/ideas for me?

Thanks.

Hi, my boyfriend broke up with me recently too so I understand what you mean about the loneliness. Were you feeling sad or depressed before this event or was it just since the break up?

gerzle84

I had been feeling sad before that and on/off for last few years.I just dont know what to do to make things any better for myself.Friends that I thought would be supportive are not being which makes things more difficult.

is there anything that you are doing that you find helpful?I have started smoking as well,I find at the moment its the only way I can reduce the stress of everything going on.

KnifeWRENCH

It's only just been over a week since I switched from Lexapro to Effexor. I'm already feeling better though. Quite a bit better compared to the state I was in last week.

Maybe this is another up/down cycle but I'm not as terrified of the future as much as I was, now that I've finished a college course I hate and never have to go back to.

I reckon a long period of unemployment would cause me to get a lot worse again though. I really need to find a job and the scariest thing right now is not finding one. If I do manage to get a job, and things still don't get better.....well I don't know what will happen. I was depressed in college by the course, and depressed when not in college due to boredom. I just wish I had something in my life that would drive it away, or at least keep it to a minimum.

I know I may never be cured of depression, I just want to be able to cope with it without going through extended or severe low periods as I've done for the past couple of years. Is that too much to ask for or is it just around the corner? Not knowing is somewhat frustrating.....

But in general, I'm ok right now. Definitely have been much worse.

LegacyUser

I've been following this thread for quite some time, but haven't wanted to post until now. It's nice to see how supportive some of you are towards one another.
I just can't see a way out of this depression at all. I've been struggling with it for years and every time I get some sort of balance in my life, it creeps back up and pulls me down again.
I apologise for the negative post. I just feel so defeated by it. If I could get away with it, I'd stay in bed all day long. I don't want to talk to or to be around anyone. I want to curl up and avoid the world. I'm on medication and seeing a therapist, but neither are making any difference. I feel like I'm becoming more deeply depressed by the day and it's all starting to feel out of my control.
My ability/will to maintain relationships/friendships has all but diminished. I know there's a lot of people out there feeling the same way and worse still no doubt. Unfortunately, knowing this doesn't help. The isolation kills.
Does anyone find it incredibly difficult to articulate how you feel when depressed? I feel as though one can't understand how soul destroying it is unless one has experienced it themselves. I find it hard to get across just how difficult all of this is.
I hate myself. So much.

Gillo

gerzle84 wrote: »

is there anything that you are doing that you find helpful?I have started smoking as well,I find at the moment its the only way I can reduce the stress of everything going on.

Hey Gerzle, funny you mention the smoking, I've been off anti d's for eightteen months, I gave up smoking about a month ago. I genuinely thought I was keeping on top of everything but various things we just getting worse and worse the last few months, the final straw was a break up and now the last week or so I am back on the smokes- nearly a pack a day!

Anyways I went to the doctor today, as I'd been unbelieveably bad the last two or three days, when I mentioned the smokes her reply was well under the circumstances there's really no harm haveing them for the next while which kinda surprised me. So listen don't worry about smoking, the five minutes of joy or distraction it gives may well help you.

Sorry to hear about the break up, I'm going through the same thing, sucks eh but I know I'll get through it.


I'm not sure about travelling, it could make things worse heading away and thinking yeah it'd be so much better if the ex was here or being in a strange country when you're feeling down.

For me the real kick in the teeth was I'd been off medication for fourteen months and was sure I'd be staying off, I've just got back from the chemist with a nice big perscription. But, as the doctor said, I got through before so there's no reason why I won't pull through again.

stupidusername

i'm beginning to think that my meds may really have done something. i just can't shake this mood, for like nearly two months. everything gets to me.. like everything! i don't go one day without feeling like calling in sick to work to stay in bed. i get the starts of panic attacks every day. i think i'd still find this stuff tough, but at least on the meds i had good moods, if even just for a half a day.

i suppose thursday i'll go back on them so.

Marcus_Crassus

gof wrote: »

My ability/will to maintain relationships/friendships has all but diminished. I know there's a lot of people out there feeling the same way and worse still no doubt. Unfortunately, knowing this doesn't help. The isolation kills.
Does anyone find it incredibly difficult to articulate how you feel when depressed? I feel as though one can't understand how soul destroying it is unless one has experienced it themselves. I find it hard to get across just how difficult all of this is.
I hate myself. So much.

I know exactly how you feel -- especially the bit that I've quoted about friendship/relationships.

I honestly don't know how people put up with me sometimes. I go through stages of being extroverted and stages of being deeply introverted. Now, I am in an introverted stage.

My friends incessantly call me but I don't want to go out. I merely want to sit at home and stay in this comfort zone. I went out yesterday for a while but made an excuse and quickly returned home! I don't want to talk to anyone.

I know what it's like gof!

mdan

Off meds for almost 3 months - heading to doc on wednesday and it cant come quick enough. Went out with hubby last nite for fathers day for nice meal - thought i was going to have heart attack and we had to leave - feeling so ****
Of course if he doesnt send me for chest xray and tests i will be convinced i am going to have heart attack - that is of course until i get another pain somewhere else tomorrow and then i will have something else - i give up sometimes - hate the thoughts of going back on tablets again - i could open up a health shop with all the vitamins
you have to laugh i suppose when you have a good day
anyways thanks for listening xxxxxxxxxxx

luckyfrank

Just being to the clinic an im being put on 15mg zispin to add to the 15mg of lexapro ive being on for the last 6 months, sleep and mood still ****e was hoping to come off lexapro totally and move onto another ssri however see how this works out

stupidusername

well i've decided. my appointment is tomorrow, and they're going to ask can they put me back on efexor, and i'm going to say yes.

starviewadams

Why not ask if you can try out another SSRI?especially if you don't feel comfortable about going back on efexor like.I've an appoinment on the 23rd or the 29th in the clinic and am going to ask to be put on something that helps my anxiety a bit more then the citalopram and lithium that I'm taking now.

stupidusername

starviewadams wrote: »

Why not ask if you can try out another SSRI?especially if you don't feel comfortable about going back on efexor like.I've an appoinment on the 23rd or the 29th in the clinic and am going to ask to be put on something that helps my anxiety a bit more then the citalopram and lithium that I'm taking now.

the 23rd is tomorrow...

i might ask if i could try another one. i'll see what they say. thanks

starviewadams

Must be the 29th then,best of luck tomorrow anyways!

mdan

mdan wrote: »

Off meds for almost 3 months - heading to doc on wednesday and it cant come quick enough. Went out with hubby last nite for fathers day for nice meal - thought i was going to have heart attack and we had to leave - feeling so ****
Of course if he doesnt send me for chest xray and tests i will be convinced i am going to have heart attack - that is of course until i get another pain somewhere else tomorrow and then i will have something else - i give up sometimes - hate the thoughts of going back on tablets again - i could open up a health shop with all the vitamins
you have to laugh i suppose when you have a good day
anyways thanks for listening xxxxxxxxxxx

went to the doc today and of course he did his usual tests (he isnt patronising he does understand) and thank god all is good and I am so happy to be coming out of the doctors with all clear - one thing he did say today really sumed it up though - I was explaining my symptoms to him and then like I always do I end up saying ' I know now, you will think this is all in my head but I do have physical symptoms' and he said to me - I dont ever think that, the mind is such a powerful thing!!
And its so true our minds are feeding our anxiety, panic attacks and our depression. If we only had a remote control to switch to off mode sometimes it would be great. We would save a fortune on the meds!!
Anyways citalopram on hand again xxxx
Take care all of you guys

stupidusername

why do i continue to be surprised by the ****ness of the health system here. spent an hour waiting for my doctor. only it's not my doctor, it's a guy, which i don't ****ing want!

told i have to go back on tablets, asked how i feel about that. like it ****ing matters! so cymbalta or whatever it's called. only because i've been off my other ones for 2 months it's going to take longer for these to take effect, so i've to go back in 6 weeks to see if they're doing any good.
not only that but they don't even give me a presciption, i've to go to my doctor to get it... which means at least another two hours waiting around!

so am i seeing someone for this 'talk therapy'? am no, waiting lists are too long, you'll be around another 3 months...!!! Have you been sleeping well, no. have you thought about harming yourself, yes. oh well suck it up cause you'll be waiting another 3 months!!! I need help now!

starviewadams

Sorry to hear that it went so shít,the HSE mental health service is pretty hit and miss,I've been looked after brilliantly in one clinic and then treated like crap in another.Hope the cymbalta works out for you eventually.

,mnb

I've had problems with anxiety/depression since I was 17. The last 2 years have been difficult. I get a good run then 2/3 days of feeling depressed/anxious then fine for a week or 2. Thats roughly whats happening. I've been on lexapro for last 6 years or more. Before that I was on Lustral for a few years . I really want to go to a different SSRI but psych who is very experienced and competent doesn't want to change it and has upped the dose a few times so far.
a. has anyone found that a drug that was working reasonably well stops working. I think I find that with Lustral before and wondering has the same now happened with Lexapro.
b. anyone found any drug to be particularly good. I would certainly say my problem is anxiety leading to depression. Apparently Lyrica is good for anxiety. Has anyone had a good experience with that.
Thanks.
Best wishes to all those people out there who have the problem I have. I feel some day there will be a better solution, prevention or cure for this problem and until then we just have to do our best.

Embojitsu

Hi there,

I've been taking Lexapro (5mg) for anxiety for about a year. I'm finding it very useful because I use it in conjunction with the Mood Gym website (can't recommend it enough) and meditation. It's helped me with problem solving and not over reacting to situations, without dulling my senses or making me feel doped up. The only side effect that I find with it is that it kills my sex drive. It doesn't really bother me too much, but it is quite pronounced. Personally, I've had a very productive year since I began taking it so the lack of sex drive was worth it! See how you go, and best of luck with evertything.

Naikon

Just a suggestion to those seeking anti depressants. Ask the doctor to provide evidence of the apparent efficacy for each drug. You are wasting time and money by using a heuristic approach.

Gillo

Without wanting to play devils advocate, but having read the last few pages of this thread it's seems that everyone is placing a massive amount of "hope" in anti-depressants. Now I'm by no means knocking them, but are people actually doing anything else to help.
By my own admission I'm taking them, but also looking at counselling, doing mindful mediatation (at the advice from my consultant when I was in hopsital first time around), using hypnotherapy and keeping a "mood diary".

sam34

Naikon wrote: »

Just a suggestion to those seeking anti depressants. Ask the doctor to provide evidence of the apparent efficacy for each drug. You are wasting time and money by using a heuristic approach.

just a suggestion to those who consistently post in a challenging and dismissive manner on what is a supportive thread, go find somewhere else to push your agenda.

i suggest CT.

as you have ignored repeated warnings, you are now banned.

stupidusername

Gillo wrote: »

Without wanting to play devils advocate, but having read the last few pages of this thread it's seems that everyone is placing a massive amount of "hope" in anti-depressants. Now I'm by no means knocking them, but are people actually doing anything else to help.
By my own admission I'm taking them, but also looking at counselling, doing mindful mediatation (at the advice from my consultant when I was in hopsital first time around), using hypnotherapy and keeping a "mood diary".

why don't you tell us how you've been finding other therapies?

I'm putting hope on anti depressants as I've tried to get talk therapy and first i was turned down for it, and now there's a 6 month wait for it. my doctor referred me to this psychs office, and the first consultation I was waiting 2 hours to be interviewed by students who couldn't give a ****, and who couldn't have the decency to turn off their phones - taking phone calls, writing texts etc. throughout the whole thing. and then met the actual psych to be told basically I need to go back on efexor at 375mg. I met this other guy the other day, and I had to ask what was happening with the talk therapy. he was just talking to me about drugs. gave me a note for a prescription and sent me on my way.

so it's not that people want to depend on drugs, but if you look for help it's apparently all you get.

the thing you're missing here is that well I for one feel like giving up when things are bad, and so of course it's hard to have hope for anything, and hard to have motivation to try find something else to work.

I tried hypnotherapy a while back and it did nothing for me. my memory is so bad it'd just frustrate me trying to keep a mood diary, though i don't see the point anyway, I know what gets to me. I can't afford to pay for therapy privately. if you've any other suggestions I may look into them.

but I have tried an online support group, which I found no good. I've also gone to aware meetings. I'll give it a third week to give it a chance, but what I need is help. with sorting myself out, not to just talk about it and have people listen. listening is no use to me. I need constructive feedback, help, exercises... which I can't get.

LegacyUser

I would really benefit from going to a therapist to work on my self talk etc. but I just can't afford to go privately and I don't know if it's available through the HSE? I've been referred to a consultant psychiatrist by my GP. He's a very nice man but the consults are really short and he hardly asks me anything at all - I always feel he's in a rush. He's prescribing based on my history. He did encourage me to get out walking every day, which I thought was good advice.

I've been on effexor for a long time, of all the anti-depressants it seems to work best for me, particularly in toning down anxiety and panic attacks. But I'm still having very low periods a lot of the time so the psych is augmenting the effexor with lamictal. I started it yesterday. I'm really hoping it will make a big difference and that I'll cope with the side effects. I feel a bit wired today.

im invisible

recession? i've been in a depression for the last 8 years.

LegacyUser

Marcus_Crassus wrote: »

I know exactly how you feel -- especially the bit that I've quoted about friendship/relationships.

I honestly don't know how people put up with me sometimes. I go through stages of being extroverted and stages of being deeply introverted. Now, I am in an introverted stage.

My friends incessantly call me but I don't want to go out. I merely want to sit at home and stay in this comfort zone. I went out yesterday for a while but made an excuse and quickly returned home! I don't want to talk to anyone.

I know what it's like gof!

Thanks for that. It's awfully frustrating trying to explain that to someone who doesn't know how it feels. I know what you're saying re friends. I haven't actually discussed how I feel with my friends so I continue on with my pitiful stream of excuses as to why I can't catch up.

Ugh, this is unbearable. I'm waiting for these new anti-depressants to kick in, but it's worse I seem to be feeling.

@Gillo. I understand where you're coming from and would've agreed fully when I was well. I've just become so immersed in this fog that mustering up any motivation seems like a mammoth task. I'd much prefer to go to sleep for a few months. I suppose that's the wretched thing about depression - the things that supposedly help are the most difficult things to do at the time. It's all a bit s*** really!

OMNISLASHER1

Sunshine! wrote: »

Hey S.U.N (that way I'm not offensive using your name, and we have something in common already!

I personally found efexor were awful for me. They got me very erratic, depressed and I self harmed more than when I wasn't taking them before attempting suicide. I've been on probably twelve different kinds over my life, but the ones I'm on now are ok for me (Lusert) as I don't feel the crushing depression in the opening weeks I've felt in the past. That's stopped me wanting to go on them when I've felt bad before, as I know the it gets worse before it's better routine is horrendous. But on these meds it wasn't the case for me, maybe you should ask for a different one. There's no harm in having five different ones in your history; everyone needs time to settle into something and you normally try on different clothes or test drive different cars before settling on one that works.

The I-told-you-so routine is not helpful, but medicines are prescribed for a reason. I've often stopped taking them and attempted suicide (gawd two paragraphs in a row?!) and the repercussions are hard to cope with. The tablets are altering a chemical and if you take them away, the chemical isn't under lock and key anymore (though sometimes it never is when I take meds). I'm not a doctor but going from zero low-dosage tablets to triple low-dosage tablets sounds very odd to me. I'd ring your psych for confirmation before your appointment next week if you are going to take them.

Medicine isn't for everyone either. I'm taking some now after years of bad results and not wanting to for the falseness it provided. In the past I've just been frustrated that I need medicine to make me normal. Now, I've grown up and need to stop hurting those close to me before I do something stupid. At least this way I'm trying.

It's good that you go to a psych as well. Are there any groups there that you think would help? Grief counselling, depression, anxiety, anger management ones? It might help to meet new people and exchange ideas. And if it doesn't work, stop after one or two sessions. Psych appointments are majorly crowded and the backlog is horrific, but at least there's help in a few days time, not a few months down the line

The system is a joke. I've gone looking for help many times in the past and had zero luck and dead ends. I fall through all the cracks in the system. A number of years ago I was on a very downward spiral and wasn't eating. Not anorexia as I don't line up to the symptoms. Not bullimia because I don't line up to the symptoms. I hit 5stone and was begging for help for an appetite and wanted to go into a rehab sorta place where they treat you. Even a mental institute would've done me. But no. Obviously I pulled myself through it but only through gradual helping of myself. I still have a dismal lack of appetite and am regularly under 7st, but it is progress.

As for the cancer your mother had, asking if there's any chance of you falling victim of it is not a laughing matter (unless say, it was ovarian and you are male thus not so likely) The more you know in terms of hereditary illness the better. My mother died of the cancer that got her mother and her great aunt. I know to keep an eye out for any symptoms now, even though I didn't find out from any docs that it IS hereditary....can make an educated guess.

To help with the frustration, find something that releases the negative energy in a positive way, like writing or art. If you have no interest in that, try something new that wouldn't be your normal cup of tea. If you hate it, well you're not losing out. You never liked it anyway. Not everyone thinks you're a lost cause. However you're feeling vent it out in some way and don't let it build up, even if it's trolling sites saying how you hate everything and want it to die. Not the nicest way, but it burns out the frustration. I just mean it doesn't have to be talking about your feelings; that's a very offputting idea to most people. Best of luck and we're here for you

hi,my name is omni,ive had severe depression and anxiety since 7 years of age partly due too the life ive had,but ive always been withdrawn and different from everyone else,i cry at everything,am scared of everything,have self harmed and tried too kill myself on at least 6-7 occasions through overdosing slashing my wrists and jumping through double glazing windows 17 up,ive been in hospital,they put me on effexor,which sucked,and have tried about 40 different types of meds,im 27 years old and seen psychiatrists and am awaiting the other type of psychologists,but i dont think they will help,my anxiety is really caused through events,but also its something i think was part of me anyway,but now my docs have stopped my meds,ive became erratic,smashing windows in my house,among other things,i get angry,sad and very emotional for no reason momentarily,my doctors have never been of any real use and now,due too lack of help,i think ive lost my house"again"i dont think i can cope with homelessness again,and i spent all the money my dad left for me last year after his death on furniture for my house,so even if i ever make it too rehousing,ill have nothing,again,im fed up worrying about tommorow,everyday is a real struggle,my life is total chaos,and too top it all of,they are thinking of putting me of my income,so that ill have no money,be homeless,suicidal"again" i used too be on a lot of diazepam which helped,but after about 30 address changes,my doctor who doesnt really know me care about or believe me,is more interested in wether ill hurt someone else,instead of myself,they even tried charging me with attempt murder after i swallowed a bunch of tablets,i see no future for myself and ill probably never have a woman or children,especially if i have lost my house,ill find out on mon 27th 2011.i get headaches constantly ever since being attacked everyday for years,but after 2 different ct scans they try too say theres nothing wrong with me,i had a mild heart attack aged 18 due too stress high blood pressure and cholest levels,and have panic attacks constantly,i sleep with a sword next too my pillow,i dont know what too do,im suicidal again,but im a christian and have been told ill go too hell,i really need help and a way out,i think most of it is down too the fact i live in britain as all ive witnessesd is evil here,ive had too stop people kicking my mums door in and mines since i was 7,ive had enough,am i fu-ked forever,or can the docs actually pull out their fingers and help me,cos i am not really able too tell psych's much due too family gang warfare and fear of ridiculing them and myself...what the f-k can i frickin do man!??? PLEASE,ANY ADVICE WILL DO!!! (POLICE ARE NOT AN OPTION,IN FACT MY UNK RECENTLY WROTE A BOOK ON SOME OF THIS ****!!! IT WAS A MAJOR HIT IN EUROPE,BUT HE EFFED OF AFTER IT WITH HIS MONEY AND LEFT ME TOO DEAL WITH IT ALONG WITH MY MUM,AND THATS ONLY THE RECENT SH-T! THE REST IS MY MINDS HISTORY...)