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LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,492 degausserxo


    DeVore wrote: »
    I wonder if there is a genetic element to depression too.

    I'd say there definitely is a genetic element to it. Two of my mam's brothers have schizophrenia, she herself was on antipsychotics for years, and I've been treated for psychosis for the past two years now. That can't be coincidental.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,079 xia


    I'm reading this thread now for a while now. I wanted to say something earlier, wasn't sure what but am back after talking to a friend who called me to talk about a mutual friend who is struggleing at the moment.

    I don't think I suffer from depression. I do have my times where I don't want to see or talk to anybody but I know that I can change my mind set - when it's time for me to do so (usually latest after three days) and can look forward again. And this happens usually after me being too busy with my life to look after myself. So to me that is some sort of recovering time for me to bring me back to basics and to put things into perspective again.

    I took part in SineadW's project for FirstFortnight. That plus Kate Fitzgerald's life and suicide plus this article by Rosemary Mac Cabe in the Irish Times last week and now this thread plus the conversation with my friend actually made me be schocked about myself.

    About how ignorant I seem to be.

    And that even though I thought I am sensitive and intuitive in seeing how people / friends around me feel. And that's what I get told by friends how I am.

    But I wasn't aware of the amount of people / friends around me that do suffer from depression. But at the moment I learn that of more and more friends and am schocked that I didn't see that.

    So I am glad that this thread was started by Tom. Thank you. To me it shows how important it is for everyone that suffers from depression to say so to whoever they feel it is right to tell. Because the people around you might just not see it - no matter how much they care about you - because depression is just not something easy to see.


  • Registered Users Posts: 44,080 ✭✭✭✭ Micky Dolenz


    This is exactly why I love boards and AH.

    Fair balls to everyone who has shared here. It can take courage to speak honestly and openly about how you feel within. Great post DeV, it really has got the ball rolling.

    Now if we could only get the country talking about it we may make this corner of the world a little better.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,205 Benny_Cake


    xia wrote: »
    About how ignorant I seem to be.

    And that even though I thought I am sensitive and intuitive in seeing how people / friends around me feel. And that's what I get told by friends how I am.

    But I wasn't aware of the amount of people / friends around me that do suffer from depression. But at the moment I learn that of more and more friends and am schocked that I didn't see that.

    Don't beat yourself up over it - don't forget that most people who are depressed don't necessarily want you to find out about it, so they'll hide it if they can. Also, and I speak from experience here, if you're going through a bad bout of it you can try to avoid people, there are a few friends that I have lost over the years because of this. If there is one positive thing that people could do it would be to try to keep the lines of communication with friends open - rather than just assume they are acting the d**k for not keeping in touch (they could be, of course)!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 140 ✭✭ bayern282


    KKkitty wrote: »
    I suffer from anxiety and even though it's no laughing matter I've done so many irrational things cos of anxiety. I can't have a pain without thinking something is wrong. I'm a bit of a hypochondriac. I feel like a basket case most of the time.

    Hows it going, anxiety is my black dog, getting treatment for it, I encounter clinically depressed people at the centre I go to, and there's no way I'd trade places with them, it looks far worse ( though I realise we all only see the world through our own eyes so can only guess at what they go through )


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  • Registered Users Posts: 12,366 ✭✭✭✭ kowloon


    I remember sitting in a lecture hall a while back, it was one of those introductory things where they let you know how things run.
    Anyway, one of the lecturers was telling about extensions and the likes and mentions how it's important to include a doctors note if you need extra time for a 'medical issue or depression or whatever, if you believe in that kind of thing', something to that effect.
    This lecturer wasn't all that old so I wouldn't shrug it off as some out of touch academic.
    These fcukers are still out there and they're a very much a part of the problem.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 48 ✭✭✭ TaxationTheft


    MetalDog wrote: »
    Great post OP. . . we need to discard the stupid backward attitude towards mental illness & suffering that people have, not just in this country, but in most of the modern world.

    The real primary reason people give out about mental illness and it's ever expanding diagnostic criteria is poor research. I don't believe "intermittent explosive disorder" is a medical condition for example. If society wants to remove the stigma of mental illness, people are going to have to accept that research into the actual causes of mental illness will have to be stepped up to the level expected in physical medicine.

    Take your life into your own hands and never blindly trust other people. This is the advice that worked for me. Become angry at the world and don't take any crap. This will work wonders for your mental health. Realise that there are people out there who are willing to destroy your life. Through both legitimate and illlegitimate means. Common sense really.

    Until Doctors are willing to up the ante, more sufferers will suffer in silence, the suicide rate will continue to rise exponentially, and medical companies will continue to profit from real genuine human suffering. Depression is the final frontier. The most dangerous disease to possibly inflict someone is also poorly understood:(


  • Registered Users Posts: 449 ✭✭ stephen_k


    Fantastic post DeV.... Some of my experience follows...

    Suffered with depression and anxiety/panic attacks on/off for years, and trying to explain to the loved ones in my life whats happening and why it's happening is the hardest part... When I'm curled up in a ball, debilitated with panic for no rational reason being asked repeatedly, "is it this, that you're worried about" "is it that, that you're worried about" "is it something I've done"... I know they are only trying to help, trying to understand, but the simple fact is there is no one reason, I can't explain it to them...

    Medication has helped me in the past, but it feels like a lid has been nailed on over the box, you know the panic is there, it just can't get out, but it hasn't gone away... Thankfully I'm in a relatively good place right now, no need for medication at the moment (except for the odd Xanax, where would I be without Xanax), I also find I'm much better when I ease off on the booze, short term it helps burn off the excess adrenaline, but long term it does way more damage than good...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 48 ✭✭✭ TaxationTheft


    Boards.ie pieta house/mental illness fund perhaps? Too many people suffer from depression which eventually leads to suicide. This is a bastard of an illness. More work into this area is badly needed.

    To anybody suffering from depression - get help. No issue is too stupid. Professionals will treat these issues. You aren't the first, and you most certainly won't be the last to suffer from depression.

    SEEK HELP


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 683 starlings


    As someone who has not suffered from depression, but has listened to those who have, I think there's more to the divide between the depressed and the rest of society than ignorance .

    It is very hard to listen to someone suffer, especially if you love them. Some of us worry, some suggest practical approaches, others block it out because while depression isn't contagious, sadness is; when none of these work we blame ourselves/the healthcare system and this doesn't help either. In fact it perpetuates the problem.

    There are a lot of conflicting theories about the nature of depression (e.g. the correlation with high intelligence - sour grape champagne, anyone?:)) and about its treatment. The "just listen" message is being widely promoted, and it's a start, but it's not enough. What do we do with what we hear? When and how do we suggest professional help? What if the depressed person refuses? There is a world of difference between understanding depression and understanding what to do when someone is depressed, and it is the latter I would like to hear more about.

    I appreciate that with all the variables of each individual and their circumstances, and those of their loved ones, there can be no guidelines to suit all cases. Perhaps a process, such as that used in Al-Anon (for families and friends of alcoholics) might help? The goal here would be to support the people who wish to support someone who is depressed because, from what I have read here, a vicious circle of isolation is a frequent experience.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 334 ✭✭ B_Fanatic


    *Slow Clap*

    A friend was bitching to me about a project she was doing. She brought up that one of the people in her group wrote an email saying he couldn't do it because he was depressed. She was there bitching, mocking and complaining. I just looked at her and shook my head. She thought I was shaking my head in incredulity at the guy's behaviour. No ma'am, it's YOUR divine feckin' ignorance that astounds me.

    Now, obviously when people declare that they're depressed occasionally they will be very sad ("I was so depressed last, I had to stay in when everyone else went out") about something in particular (Like the difference between panic disorder and phobia disorder; one has no direct cause while the other has) but who is she to determine from the email that the guy isn't completely incapicitated lying in bed. Christ, and just sit there mocking him is absolutely awful.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,538 ✭✭✭ flutterflye


    The real primary reason people give out about mental illness and it's ever expanding diagnostic criteria is poor research. I don't believe "intermittent explosive disorder" is a medical condition for example. If society wants to remove the stigma of mental illness, people are going to have to accept that research into the actual causes of mental illness will have to be stepped up to the level expected in physical medicine.

    Take your life into your own hands and never blindly trust other people. This is the advice that worked for me. Become angry at the world and don't take any crap. This will work wonders for your mental health. Realise that there are people out there who are willing to destroy your life. Through both legitimate and illlegitimate means. Common sense really.

    Until Doctors are willing to up the ante, more sufferers will suffer in silence, the suicide rate will continue to rise exponentially, and medical companies will continue to profit from real genuine human suffering. Depression is the final frontier. The most dangerous disease to possibly inflict someone is also poorly understood:(

    I agree with your point about how for many, there is little credibility in an illness that no one understands fully. No one truly understands causation, what actually happens in the brain when depressed, or exactly how to cure it.
    There isn't even an official definitive diagnostic tool.

    I think that once more is understood about depression, the stigma will start to life finally.

    I do see your point about anger.
    Anger is much more useful than depression.
    It is directing all those emotions outwards rather than internally.
    But at the same time, I don't think it is the answer here!
    For starters, you can't just wake up in the morning and decide "hey, today I will stop being depressed, and be angry instead".
    Never mind the fact that anger can be just as destructive as depression.

    Also, it bugs me when people call depression a disease.
    To me it just doesn't sit right.
    I think it's an illness, not a disease.

    And I also wouldn't say it is the most dangerous either.
    There are many terminal diseases that are more dangerous.

    But this is just me being semantic and anal! :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 77 ✭✭✭ missvirgo


    Excellent thread.

    I've suffered with depression all my life & only fully accepted it recently.

    I've been on anti-depressants, seen counselors, researched it and have never been able to deal with it effectively.

    Untill recently...

    'A New Earth' by Ekhart Toll has changed my life. It changed my perspective on life and what's important.

    I always used to say 'Tiochfaidh MO Lá'

    not any more... My day is NOW. My time is NOW. I'm happy NOW.

    I have much to contribute to life, i wouldn't be here if i hadn't. Deed'n i'm not the worst of 'em!

    Peace Out <3


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,438 Morag


    DeVore wrote: »
    Depression can make people seem to be right selfish bastards sometimes. And sometimes thats true but sometimes its an interpretation of their actions by people who are trying to make sense of them. Like the person earlier on who said their boyfriend broke up with them.... well that sounds like he simply couldn't see a future for the relationship, many people who suffer depression feel like that, nothing could possible come from X and its dooooooomed to failure so why bother.

    Sometimes there is a break up not because the person suffering depression can't see a future but they can't see how to get to that future or that dealing with the 'Now' just has them over whelmed.

    It also depends on how depression manifests, for some people the isolate themselves for other's it manifests as anger which is always looking for a target and a bf/gf/partner/spouse/whatever can end up being that target.

    It depends on the type of depression and how well a person an manage it, most people I know who suffer from it are often very smart, clever people with high standards for themselves, how are seen and strong by others and will go out of their way to help those they consider friends and family but, but they find is very, very hard to ask for help from others or to be a burden in any way what so ever.

    The little things they will do for someone else with out a bother they can't bear to ask or let other's do for them when they need it as it's a failure.
    It's also in how they think about themselves, what can be called negative thought patterns about themselves, if anyone else was to say out loud about someone they care about, the judgement they cast on themselves, they'd go bananas defending that person but we do it to ourselves.

    DeVore wrote: »
    I wonder if there is a genetic element to depression too. My father gets it , my grandfather rarely left his bed (so, hilariously, I grew up thinking Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was perfectly reasonable to portray grandparents who never left bed!). They didnt know what was wrong with him so despite the fact that the man was as hard as nails, was cranky as f*ck with everyone but me, they blamed it on his "nerves". (wtf?!)


    I do think there is a gen tic element but it's also the passing on of specific ways to deal or not deal with an issue. My Nana took to the bed, so does my Dad, I've had weeks of it myself, with barely living the house to go to the shops and not even doing that if I can get someone else to do it for me.

    Kid can be a blessing in terms of making you get up and get going, but then again having mine triggered depressions which were so acute I had to stop working and took years to get out of afterwards. It's something I've battled with from my late teens, been on meds 4 times so far, it comes and goes.

    All you can do it so what you can on the bad days, and not beat yourself up for doing more and know that eventually it will pass.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,842 ✭✭✭ Dav


    Hello. I rarely post in AH, but incase you don't know me, my name is Dav and I'm the Community Manager here on Boards.ie. I suffer from depression. DeVore who started this thread isn't just my boss, he's been one of my friends for many, many years (I think it's about 14 or 15 at this stage) and the two of us had a chat before he made this post. He hadn't asked me to, but I thought it no harm in sharing my own thoughts on Depression and what it's done to me.

    My life is really good overall - I have a job I love and that keeps my bills paid. I have a girlfriend I love and who loves me. I have some great friends who I share a wide range of interests with and who're numerous enough so that there's nearly always someone around to goof off with if I'm in that sort of mood. I have hobbies I really enjoy and the means to indulge in them at any time (an XBox and newly built PC for gaming as well as a number of guitars and associated equipment for my musical interests), so what have I got to be depressed about? It's like DeV says, the better things are, the more likely I am to be depressed.

    I am currently on medication - a course I started only 2 weeks ago having had a really rough year this year. It's the second time I've had to take anti-depressants in my life - the first time was about 4 years ago. It was weird having to take tablets to fix my mood - I was very sceptical at first but I cannot overstate how useful it was *for me* to have that little tiny pill re-balance my head. For at least 6 or 7 years before that, I had no idea I suffered from depression (looking back, I would seem to have been suffering from it for a huge portion of my life - I can pick out "episodes" from before my teen years. I would urge everyone who thinks they may have an issue to talk to a GP and get referred to somewhere that can help - medication isn't for everyone and there are a slew of alternatives to it.

    A bit of background: I'm from Mayo and, well, being blunt, it has been my experience that the general populace of Mayo aren't all that open minded. I don't like Mayo and will never ever return to live there - I even hate going to visit. I didn't have a great childhood, but I don't try and place blame on that fact, no one's life is perfect and there are plenty of people who've had it worse than me. For anyone who's seen Hardy Bucks, being a young adult in Mayo wasn't all that far removed from the madness of the "Bucks" daily life between drinkin' and schmokin' and fightin' and all that goes with it. Last Christmas, I went home amongst all the snow and misery and after a 7.5 hour journey cramped in the back of my cousins Jeep with boxes of presents piled up around me, I got into the house to find there was no water because of the -15 degree cold. The whole thing triggered a lousy mood for me and my time in Mayo was terrible last Christmas. I didn't want to go out to see my friends because I was feeling so ****ty and their text messages wondering where I was and if I was ok only made things worse.

    I eventually got back to Dublin 4 or 5 days later swearing never to go back and since then went into a downward spiral of apathy and general dislike (I couldn' even work up the energy to hate) everything about my life. I wouldn't sleep properly, was frequently still awake at 4 and 5 am staring at the ceiling hating my brain for not switching off and letting me get some proper rest. I've put on a huge amount of weight (I've always been a bit of a fat bloke to be fair) because it's easier to eat another bag of crisps than it is to cook a meal. This has affected my ability to work here at Boards because this is a very demanding job and I've been plagued by feelings of "meh" towards some extremely important parts of it, which then turns into despair because I'm looking at my ever increasing "to-do" list and then turns into "head in the sand" because you just can't deal with some of it. That's not fair on my employers and it's not fair on the volunteer Mods and Cmods and Admins who help this site tick and most of all, it's not fair on the members who *are* this site - for what it's worth folks, I'm sorry it's taken me this long to get my act together.

    Needless to say, it's been a very long year and it's taken me far too long to build up the head of steam to go and do something about it - and getting the drive to sort it out can be the most difficult thing you can do. Funnily enough, the final push to go see my previous psych doctor was a chat with DeVore on the subject were a part of it as well as discussion with my girlfriend and a few other good friends who were also familiar with the nature of depression and how it works.

    So I'm 2 weeks into a 2 month course of medication and already I feel much better. My mood is no longer swinging from high to low - the first time on the meds it was astonishing to wake up one day and feel "balanced" - I had completely forgotten what it was like as it'd been probably close to 8 years since I'd been that way. My sleep pattern's starting to normalise somewhat and I'm getting a better night's rest when I do sleep. For me, depression's insidious nature as DeV mentioned means I can't see the wood for the trees and I'm right in the middle of everything for a long, long time before I realise (or someone points out to me) that I'm under depression's spell so to speak and then it becomes a tough battle to get out of it.

    So why am *I* posting? Well Boards.ie is a place where Irish people talk about things and like DeVore, I know that this site has more power to influence and inform people than you might think. We've already seen one person who's gone to their doctor on this thread and got themselves on the right track (and fair play to you efb). We're seeing plenty of people who're saying "wow, I never knew that's what it was like" and plenty others saying "that explains it so much better than I've ever been able to" and we're dispelling myths and standing up saying "yea, I have depression, it doesn't mean I'm bonkers!" We're seeing people sharing stories and hitting home the idea that this is something that can hit anyone from any walk of life and at any age and that's important. It's the most important thing this site does.

    The only way to break the taboo on mental health issues is to break the taboo on mental health issues :) You're not less of a person for having depression (or anxiety or bi-polar or any other sort of mental health issue) in the same way that someone who's got heart disease or cancer or diabetes isn't less of a person for their illness. I have an aunt who's a cancer survivor and a depression sufferer and she says she'd rather face cancer again than continue battling depression if given the choice. This from a woman who had half her bowel, her womb and an ovary removed over 20 years ago and had a long and painful recovery.

    Like a lot of mental health issues, you don't recover from depression, you just learn to live with it. Sometimes you have to learn several times - if you fall off the horse, it's a real challenge to get back on especially when it's something that manifests as lack of drive and energy and willpower, but I'm (re-)learning that with help, it's a far from impossible task.

    Thanks to everyone for reading what is a much longer post than I intended and to all the others who've shared their experiences. It's days like this where despite having yet another letter here threatening to bring the site to court and demanding compensation and a list of things to catch up on because I was out for a couple of days with a bad head-cold, I love what we do here and I love working here.


  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,414 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭ DeVore


    I think I have run out of "thanks" :)

    One very good point made above is that we need to also educate people who WANT to help but dont know how. I actually dunno what to say to those people.
    You cant really help someone who doesnt want help. All you can honestly do is make sure they know you will take them seriously and listen when they are ready to talk. They have to do some of the work too and thats a problem when they probably feel like doing nothing, forever.
    You can try to win their trust and just be there for them.

    The other point was about not noticing someone was depressed. Oh boy.... If I dont want you to know I'm depressed, you wont know. My folks didnt know and my *dad* gets it.

    When I'm depressed, I'm still capable of functioning (though it takes an effort of will), but when need's be... man I'm Robert DeFeckinNero crossed with Sean Connery. I would fool a polygraph machine. Its horrible because a voice will still be calling me a "fraud" inside my head but I will put in a multi-oscar winning perfomance and everyone leaves saying "That DeV fella, he's some character! Life and soul of the conversation."


    I have to say, people warned me off posting this, particularly in AH. But this thread and the response (on and off it) is putting a smile on my face.

    DeV.


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,704 ✭✭✭✭ Princess Peach


    Nice post DeV, made me laugh in certain places!

    I was diagnosed over two years ago. I was in final year of college, had no motivation, concentration. Just wanted to sleep and stay in bed all the time. Was out 3/4 nights a week drinking until I couldnt remember what was going on. I went to my doctor because I was worried about failing college. Was put on medication straight away but refused counselling after one bad session. Medication helped with my motivation and study alright, but not much with the emotional aspects. Finally tried a new councelor after a few months and it really helped me. Graduated top of my course with a 1.1.

    When I finished college I was set to take a year out, as I hadn't been able to deal with the pressure of looking at post-grads while studying. Tried to come off me meds which was a disaster. I was having a lot of personal issues and relationship problems with friends and boys and kept lowering my dose. Think I was trying to prove to myself I didn't need them. I know I technically shouldn't use the word psychotic, but I was sometimes. I was a crazy bitch for a while, I'm ashamed of some of the things I did. In the end I just had to swallow my pride and go back to the doctor. She told me not to be disappointed, some people just have a longer recovery time.

    I started seeing a new private counselor. My first two had been college counselors. She did me the world of good. If I could afford it I would have seen her all year, but we felt a few months had brought me far enough.

    The biggest thing that came out of my depression is my eating disorders, I was anorexic for a while, and when my appetite came back I became bulemic. I'm dealing with the purging much better this year, but between my bouts of it I binge eat. As soon as I start college again next year its back for more counseling. I wish I had gone months ago, but simply cannot afford it.

    This year has been great for me though. Have rarely cried, my crazy girl rants have pretty much stopped. I have taken up a scholarship for a masters program in Canada which starts right after Christmas, following days I thought I could never have the motivation for college again. I have worked hard to rebuild my relationships with people, and while most have not been reciprocated I have also worked on building new great relationships. Have a great boyfriend who I share everything with.

    Still not good at talking to people about my problems! Had to go to the chemist the other day for my meds, told my sister to wait outside while I got private things. She assumed pregnancy test :pac:

    But as you can see from LONG LONG POST, I find it good to harp on about it on Boards :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,438 Morag


    starlings wrote: »
    I appreciate that with all the variables of each individual and their circumstances, and those of their loved ones, there can be no guidelines to suit all cases. Perhaps a process, such as that used in Al-Anon (for families and friends of alcoholics) might help? The goal here would be to support the people who wish to support someone who is depressed because, from what I have read here, a vicious circle of isolation is a frequent experience.

    www.aware.ie


    Aware have family/partner group meetings for those who are living with or have someone in their life who is living with depression. Those are sharing and support meetings, they help people figure out that it's not that the person doesn't' love them enough and to try and learn to not be hurt when a person retreats and how to offer support with out making them feel completely crippled by it and as a way to talk about what emotions it causes for them as a release and to share coping stragey.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,705 Johro


    Yeah great post, nice to see it debated here.
    I, myself, have real trouble finding the will to get up most mornings. Once I do, I get progressively better through the day, but my first feeling on waking up can sometimes be 'what the fuck for?'
    I have very good friends though, an understanding gf, and a close knit family, so in a lot of ways I consider myself lucky.
    I worked as a carer for a good number of years, first for an organisation that worked with children/teenagers with physical/mental handicaps and later in a children's refuge as a counsellor, and working there helped me a lot, I guess because I worried about other people rather than myself, coupled with that great feeling you get when you're really a help to someone, but after a while you start to fade and I had to stop and think about myself.
    My depression is mainly down to events that happened in my childhood, a horrendously physically abusive father in my early years and after that a period of sexual abuse by another person left me with a deep feeling of mistrust for people in general, which, for a large part has stayed with me, and to this day I suffer panic attacks and periods of depression because of it. It was also the reason I was a good counsellor. I could relate. But it's hard when counselling not to soak up some of the real unhappiness of people, especially kids, I wasn't good at the 'dis-associating' thing and therefore had to give it up.
    Now it's time to look after myself. It's harder than you might think.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 48 ✭✭✭ TaxationTheft


    I only speak from my own experience, but why is it that generally those with a high IQ suffer from very severe Depression? I'm not gonna lie, anybody who looks at the state of the world on a day to day basis and does not become depressed, isn't thinking too deeply or may not even be human I would imagine.

    Society is a nothing short of a nightmare. The state of society fosters depressive symptoms. Not in all cases, but it is something to consider. I have often thought about this myself.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,705 Johro


    I only speak from my own experience, but why is it that generally those with a high IQ suffer from very severe Depression? I'm not gonna lie, anybody who looks at the state of the world on a day to day basis and does not become depressed, isn't thinking too deeply or may not even be human I would imagine.

    Society is a nothing short of a nightmare. The state of society fosters depressive symptoms. Not in all cases, but it is something to consider. I have often thought about this myself.
    True, but I guess that's largely because good news is not newsworthy, it seems, and what we get instead is the crimes and the disasters and the gloom of the economy. If you believed the media you'd swear all teenagers were about to stab you for your mobile phone and you'd never go out. The truth is that wonderful things happen every day, they just don't make the news. Apart from the obligatory humorous item at the end of the news, sometimes funny, mostly of no consequence.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,438 Morag


    I only speak from my own experience, but why is it that generally those with a high IQ suffer from very severe Depression?

    I don't think it's just IQ, I think the greater force for change a person can be in the lives of others and the world around them, they more frustrated they get at the things which they can't change or feel they can't change and personal change/growth is really fúcking hard.

    You can go through life with people lauding you for what you've done or how good you are to/for people but none of that is going to mean a damn when you can't bring yourself to put on shoes and go to the shop to get milk as it means leaving your 'cave' or that you may have to talk to someone. Which means on that day you've failed as an adult and a person and that wipes out everything else.


    With internet shopping and with so many things we can now access online it is easier and easier for someone who is suffering depression to become an utter shut in and for most people not to know as well they just assume that the person is ok and grand. The front doesn't even have to be in person, you can be fronting and being the life and soul of the party online, and no one knows you've not had the will/engery/motivation to go shower for the last 10 days.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 683 starlings


    Sharrow wrote: »
    www.aware.ie


    Aware have family/partner group meetings for those who are living with or have someone in their life who is living with depression. Those are sharing and support meetings, they help people figure out that it's not that the person doesn't' love them enough and to try and learn to not be hurt when a person retreats and how to offer support with out making them feel completely crippled by it and as a way to talk about what emotions it causes for them as a release and to share coping stragey.

    Thanks Sharrow! I'm an occasional An-Anon-goer (for obvious reasons) and though letting go is painful, it really is the only way to get over blame and guilt. So I'm glad there's an application of similar thinking to the problem of depression. I'll pass it on whenever I can.


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,188 ✭✭✭✭ thebaz


    another good thing about this thread - is to know that you (anyone) are not alone -

    as regards the mental illness, so much greatness has been created by sufferers - and yet still there is the shame ....


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭ nesf


    So yeah, similar to Dav I don't post here much despite being a mod of it many years ago.

    My story is a bit more complicated than DeV's, I've gone through psychosis, depression, mixed states (think manic and depressed at the same time) and anxiety. I've been all over the place for most of the last 10 years and been ill one way or another for closer to 15. I just finished a 3 month stretch in mental hospital recently.

    Psychosis is so poorly understood amongst the general public to be infuriating. I don't want to derail this thread but I'd just like to echo DeV's and Dav's point in that people with mental illness walk amongst you and you do not notice us. We look like you, talk like you (at least when I'm not paranoid anyway :p) and so on. The worst cases are of course in mental hospital most of the year but these illnesses can rob you of your life without you ever needing to go into hospital.


    There are a lot of myths about mental health but I'd like to focus on one particular one. If someone is suicidal, talk to them about it. Talking about suicide is not a trigger, you're either suicidal or you're not. When I'm suicidal all I can think about is way and means to kill myself. A bus passes me on the street and the thought immediately pops into my mind that I could just step out in front of it very easily. Talk to me about suicide when I'm not suicidal and it's a purely academic discussion and doesn't affect me. If someone you know is suicidal, talk to them about it, encourage them to seek help from Pieta house, the Samaritans or whoever (the Samaritans have been a great help for me) and whatever you do make sure they know you're there for them. If they are immediately in danger of acting on their impulses, take them to A&E and get them put in hospital for a while, they might not like you for it immediately but when they get their senses back they'll thank you for it (I've done this to/for people).


    Anyway, yeah, I'll stop before I turn this into a rant about the attitudes towards mental health in this country.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,538 ✭✭✭ flutterflye


    I only speak from my own experience, but why is it that generally those with a high IQ suffer from very severe Depression? I'm not gonna lie, anybody who looks at the state of the world on a day to day basis and does not become depressed, isn't thinking too deeply or may not even be human I would imagine.

    Society is a nothing short of a nightmare. The state of society fosters depressive symptoms. Not in all cases, but it is something to consider. I have often thought about this myself.

    I have had depression about 15 - 25 times, and I do have quite a high IQ.
    Whether or not there is some correlation, I have no idea.
    I know many, many people who are highly intelligent, yet have never suffered with depression.
    There are so many factors - your socio economic background, whether or not you learned adequate coping strategies, biology, life events, stress levels, sleep habits, diet etc etc etc...

    You can't really say that it is to do with levels of intellect.
    Sure there are some people out there who are as thick as a wall and they suffer from depression.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 58,454 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Wibbs


    Miss Fluff wrote: »
    There's also a very good thread in the Long Term Illness forum for people who suffer from Depression and I think it's also a great resouce for people to offload http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055828992
    Plus one. I'd add and I hope he doesn't mind me namechecking him, Nesf's posts on that forum on his journey through his illness is damned inspiring for anyone, depressed or not. Never met the chap but he'd be someone I'd look up to.
    I'd say there definitely is a genetic element to it. Two of my mam's brothers have schizophrenia, she herself was on antipsychotics for years, and I've been treated for psychosis for the past two years now. That can't be coincidental.
    AFAIR it's pretty much a given that there is a strong genetic component to schizophrenia. Again IIRC those studies into primitive societies that found much lower rates of unipolar depression found the same rates as anywhere else when it came to schizophrenia.

    One of the things I've learned over the years is that "mental illness" is a bloody huge range and severity of conditions and I've also learned that many, if not most people lump them all in together. Almost as if the daft catchall term "mad" has been replaced by the term "mental illness". One size does not fit all. IMHO too often we forget about the individual and look at the label. We see the illness not the person. Being honest I've been just as guilty of that in the past myself. It's bad enough with cancer, but with a "hidden" illness like depression it can be even worse. It adds to the stigma.

    I think the stigma is all about fear. Fear can come from simple ignorance. The notion that someone will go postal and "freak out". As social animals that can really throw us. I'd also say a lot of the fear is down to the notion it may be catching with a large sideorder of "oh I feel like that sometimes myself, God I can't admit that, so will avoid like the plague".

    Plus we may struggle to find what to say to someone who comes out and tells us of their illness. In fairness that can be an issue. Yes insensitive types may come out with "pull yourself together/go for a run/etc", but genuine people can also say similar. Not out of badness, but out of the above fear and ignorance about what to say. Even something like a naturally empathic phrase like "I know how you feel, I've felt like that myself at times" can be picked up very wrongly by the person they're genuinely trying to help. Naturally enough too as the thought "how the fcuk do you know/just because you feel how does that make me feel better" can come to the fore in the person who may have temporarily lost that empathic sense because of the depression. IME the latter seems common enough and is where some of this notion that depressed people are selfish may come from?

    For my money if someone is being like that they're not being selfish, more self centered. I would make a clear distinction between the two myself. Again for me selfish is someone who is wholly aware they're being so. Self centered is someone who is focusing internally and bringing the outside world into that focus through their own internal prism first. We ALL do that to some degree or other(unless your name is Mr Buddha or Mr Christ). Our worldview decides the world quite subjectively. If your head's in a good place that's fine, but if your head isn't, of course you're going to have a very different world to inhabit.

    EG While I can have off days like anyone, I'm pretty objective in most emotional and interpersonal stuff. Almost to a fault. In general life, thank god/fates/dumb luck, I'm happy or sad or trundling along within "normal" parameters. Happy things make me happy etc Even when I'm under heavy enough, even chronic stress I can always find something that cheers me up. However with romantic relationships, my own personal prism, my worldview, is quite out of the norm on that score for all sorts of reasons*. Indeed would match up with one of the descriptions of general depression, the flatline feeling part. In that facet of my life I'm completely "meh"/flatline. I'm fully aware of this too, but good luck in resetting that mechanism. I don't know how people who feel that way about their life in general get through that. I'm genuinely in awe of those who can, or even actively try to get through it.







    *mix of bad experiences, but mostly like DeV noted I " see (it) TOO clearly". I know the script too well and you can't unsee it so to speak. It's how I've been able to help mates and others going through rough relationship patches(including two psychologists for that matter), so at least that's a good and socially useful side effect of it.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • Registered Users Posts: 6,116 starviewadams


    I'm fairly sure that there is some sort of genetic predispositon to depression.

    On one side of my family alone 7 of my aunts and uncles suffer with some form of depression,as well as five of my cousins,well six actually,if you count my cousin who took his own life back in 2006.

    It makes talking about mental health issues with my family a very touchy subject to say the least,the only way my mother found out that I suffer from depression was when I ended up in A&E basicaly getting my arms stitched back last year after a pretty bad mania episode and she was contacted by the hospital.

    That's one of the main reasons that I hate this time of the year,because all the family will come together and put on their happy faces,while nobody will dare mention the giant elephant in the room.That and the fact that most of my friends are either heading home or are coupled up,which makes me feel even more alone!

    Rant over,sorry!


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,919 ziggy23


    Fair play to you OP:)

    I suffer from depression on and off and have had a pretty horrible 2 weeks. Why is it when you tell some people about it they run a mile?:( It's not contagious and as the OP said it doesn't mean you are going to kill somebody. Mine has gotten worse lately due to lonliness and feeling isolated. I'm a single parent so when the skiddler is put to bed its just me. All I would love now is a hug from somebody who meant it not a pity hug:(


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,538 ✭✭✭ flutterflye


    Sharrow wrote: »
    www.aware.ie


    Aware have family/partner group meetings for those who are living with or have someone in their life who is living with depression. Those are sharing and support meetings, they help people figure out that it's not that the person doesn't' love them enough and to try and learn to not be hurt when a person retreats and how to offer support with out making them feel completely crippled by it and as a way to talk about what emotions it causes for them as a release and to share coping stragey.

    Also GROW (link) - they follow a 12 step programme, and follow a structure every week, including homework you give yourself, such as "by this time next week I will have gone back to the doctor", or whatever is relevant to you.
    I find them very good.

    Edit: Just to clarify, GROW is mainly for people suffering from mental illness, but friends and family are welcome to go along too.


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