LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

The_Kew_Tour

I wrote this on soccer forum on the day that Gary Speed passed away the response was very good and just wanted to share it here too.

It seemed some people to realise that we are not alone.

Just want to thank the OP again as for a guy who is actually in same boat it's maybe one of the only threads I can really relate too.

At the moment I have to say things are going well for me so cant complain, it's still there some bit, but slowly moving away from the really dark days.

I kinda didn't feel I wanted post this, but I feel that maybe it might help someone else. If mods feel like should be removed that is fine

I basically suffered from depression for while just recently. It's a cold place to be, really cold. I felt I may never really see the next day and well there were days I taught would be my last.

But I have great friends and thankfully one day I just let it all out to them. I taught I would embarrassed, but what I felt was great sense of relief. My family really showed how much they cared when they found out too.

If you do suffer from depression there is help. There is no shame in it and no your not selfish no matter what some may think.

Honestly I taught there wasn't, I taught I was alone, but people do care. You can talk to someone. There is always better days ahead, not everyday will be easy, but the world can be better place for people who want it to be.

What happened today brings it all back, but I would just like think that this message would maybe help someone that maybe going through something similar

Wibbs

Luckily today we have more treatments and options than in the past. Now this country is not the best at all with regard to some aspects of treatment, more importantly access to treatment, but things are so much better than a generation ago. Ditto for public perception. It's not that long ago that people and their families suffered for years because society saw them as people who had "something wrong with their nerves".

We've still a way to go though. You just have to look at our nations relationship with alcohol and other drugs. Never mind smokin weed or necking the old disco biscuits, look at the uproar over the sale restrictions of over the counter codeine medicines. The Saturday night streets are full of people off their heads and regularly so. There are even more people behind respectable houses seeking relaxation/solace in the "odd glass of vino" every single night. IMHO there is a lot more self medication going on that people admit to or realise.

I certainly fell into that at one point in my life. Won't bore with the details suffice to say a trio of personal tragedies hit over a very short period of time. I coped well enough with it externally, but for the guts of 5 years I needed a couple of beers to sleep. It was literally two beers, but I needed them. One night coming home from a job I realised I didn't have those two beers and as it was after the offies closed went into a panic. Even contemplated leaving the car in a pub carpark and walking home. That's when I realised WTF. Now I know perfectly fine people who will have a glass of wine every night, but they don't need it. The fact I did was hiding something deeper. Thankfully realising that was 2/3rds of my personal solution, but it showed me in a small way how bloody easy it can be to fall into that stuff and way of thinking.

DeVore

I wonder if there is a genetic element to depression too. My father gets it , my grandfather rarely left his bed (so, hilariously, I grew up thinking Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was perfectly reasonable to portray grandparents who never left bed!). They didnt know what was wrong with him so despite the fact that the man was as hard as nails, was cranky as f*ck with everyone but me, they blamed it on his "nerves". (wtf?!)

My dad has so much socialised stigma about it that even though his father AND his son both get it.... and that he willingly takes medicine he knows is specifically for depression, he wont accept that he gets depressed.
He cant accept he has a mental health issue, its like someone who is gay who is in denial! lol...

I've long ago accepted that this is something I have to tend to and keep an eye on. Like a mole on my skin. But its not who I am. It doesnt define me. Its something kinda stuck on to me and I'm damned if I'm going to give it any more control than it already has had.

DeV.

Temaz

I suffer from serious depression and anxiety and am doing ok at the moment. i just want to say that if there is someone reading this post or thread and you are feeling low, anxious or agitated please go to your GP, tell your Mam-dad-close friend. Help is out there!!

Earthhorse

44leto wrote: »

So contrary to the OP, in a way, I did walk it off and I keep it at bay that way.

Just as there are many different types of depression - some people get anxious, some sad, some feel empty - so too are there many ways out of it; excercise, diet, talk, having a hobby, keeping company, knocking alcohol on the head, getting into a good sleep routine. So I would say to people trying to fight it "try everything". Don't dismiss something because the research says it doesn't work; if it works for you, it works.

The problem with the "snap out of it" brigade is they believe it's a one-size-fits-all solution.

Seachmall wrote: »

I spoke to a counselor a few years ago who he mentioned he thought I was suffering depression however taking into account I can only remember having "depressive episodes" twice in my 20 odd years and a dozen or so of much lighter(?) "episodes" does this really count as depression? Surely it's too sparse to consider it depression?

Is this simply a case of a counselor jumping to conclusions (only had a handful of sessions with him) or can depression be that sparse?

Nobody here can tell you. As others have said, if you find it's interfering in your ability to get on with life then a visit to the doctor may be in order.

I do think depression can be over-diagnosed at times; in particular I often think it is simply a co-morbid condition but by the time it's got someone in its grip only the symptoms of depression are really showing. So say someone suffers from social anxiety and so they start avoiding social situations, and eventually, this leads to them becoming depressed. When they go see the doctor all they may be able to see is the depression and not the thing that kicked it off; there's a burden of responsibility here on both patient and doctor to open up a little more and to dig a little deeper. It's hard but it's worth it in the long run.

Good luck to anyone fighting depression at the moment or close to someone who is. I hope it gets better for you.

ejmaztec

My mother suffered with depression, and unfortunately had a GP who liked throwing medication at the problem, so much so that she ended up hospitalised due to dehydration from the effects of it. The hospital doctor was so aghast at the medication that she was on, she took her off most of it, but when my mother was released from hospital she went to see her GP, the dumb quack put her back on everything that he prescribed before.

Fortunately, I've never suffered depression, the slight madness keeps it at bay.

dr.bollocko

mod:
ch750536 Don't post in this thread again please.

DeVore

You need to talk to professionals, I dunno if anyone here can give you advice but perhaps some suggestions. Just be careful, its the internet after all

There are support groups out there for familys and from my experience of Pieta house they would be my first suggestion. I think its part of their formal remit to assist familys but if not, I'm sure they would help informally with advice.

DeV.

Wibbs

DeVore wrote: »

I wonder if there is a genetic element to depression too. My father gets it , my grandfather rarely left his bed (so, hilariously, I grew up thinking Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was perfectly reasonable to portray grandparents who never left bed!).

From what I've read about it it seems to have a genetic element alright. IIRC strong element in bipolar with a little less in unipolar? Maybe more of a tendency though? A couple of studies of more primitive societies show much less depression in evidence.

Shouldn't be a surprise though. It's not that long ago we lived in small extended family groups that were much more "solid" than today. We also had a more spiritual angle going on and lives were less stressful, or more to the point the stresses were different and less chronic and there was a bigger group/tribal support structure when such stresses hit. Also today we're all bombarded by so much information and "stuff" than ever before. Our amazing human mind laps this up, but it does put more individual pressure on us IMHO.

Even with more avenues of interaction than in our history we're ironically we're often more disconnected from each other. We're also more exposed to success in others. Some guy or gal in a tribe is comparing themselves to maybe 30 others? The average person in the modern world is comparing themselves to billions and too highly successful outliers and that could have an effect and make individuals feel worthless, or just another cog in a huge machine. We're too fat, too stupid, too poor, not pretty enough, not strong enough, not cool enough, etc. This is getting worse not better. When you see already impossibly thin and naturally beautiful women being tweaked by software into an impossible image of humanity and womanhood you have to wonder. Of course what we define as "success" is another thread in of itself...

krudler

op thats genuinely one of the best posts I've ever read on boards. fair play for being so candid about it.

brummytom

A great post DeV, reading your OP and Insect_Overlord's is actually quite unnerving (maybe it's a Tom thing!), apart from I wasn't really bullied in Primary School much.


I'm quite lucky in that I've got two particularly close friends who are always there for me, and don't judge me. But apart from to those two, I wouldn't admit to anyone how I feel. It's particularly bad at the moment for some reason, but hey ho. Hopefully it'll fade!

Wattle

I've been hugely affected by depression in the past but am now on top of it. I plan to leave a huge chunk of money to Aware in my will. Good karma.

I think people tend to really misjudge After Hours sometimes - while there are quite a many pointless thread that does descend into mockery, there are those ones that remain respectful and intelligent debates can happen.

Personally I used to suffer from depression, which would usually come and go, but it would always be somewhat hidden and those closest to me would be surprised if I told them. I got help, received medication and actually did something to make changes. I'm now beginning the process of coming off of those meds and I'm feeling better than ever.

With all this talk of depression lately, I feel like it's the right time to bring back my sig.

Miss Fluff

What a brilliant thread DeV. I think there is still such an unfortunate and senseless stigma to the black dog still that it can leave people feeling terribly isolated - great to see such an open and honest thread which will hopefully raise awareness.

You mention that talking about it is really important. Just to remind people that there's a Personal Issues thread here on Boards and while nobody is medically qualified to help, there are lots of kindly folk over there who are too happy to listen.

There's also a very good thread in the Long Term Illness forum for people who suffer from Depression and I think it's also a great resouce for people to offload http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055828992

Thanks again DeV, I think this thread will really help people.

Konata

Insect Overlord wrote: »

Talking about my life on-line has always helped. The year I spent modding the Clearasil & Hormones forum brought me close to an incredible group of exceptional young people. Most of them have stopped posting in that forum now, but we all helped each other through some really bad times. It didn't matter that some people suffered more than others. There was just an acceptance and an understanding and an empathy in that group that made the forum a magical little corner of the Internet. We are the generation who knows it's okay to talk and to share and to be honest. And all of that is possible because of this marvellous resource the OP has been building since the late 1990s.

^^This a million, million times over! I was lucky enough to be a part of C&H around the time that I was at my lowest, and I can't express how much talking to people on there helped

Fantastic post DeV, and all the people who have replied. After suffering from mental health problems for nearly 8 years, and finally having come out the other end of the tunnel, I take it upon myself to share my experiences whenever possible. I don't believe that mental health should be "covered up". I understand that it's extremely difficult to talk about these issues but I hope to help and inspire people in some way with my own little story - show them the immense difference that talking can lead to.

I'm 21 now, nearly 22 and can trace my mental health issues back to when I was 10 or 11. Really though, it all started when I was 14 and became obsessed with my weight. By 17, I was diagnosed with anorexia. During my "recovery", I started self-harming, a condition that became progressively worse up until last year. At 19, I was bulimic, managed to stop vomiting but developed binge eating disorder instead. I became so severly depressed that I could barely leave my room. I stopped going to college, I stopped getting dresses, I stopped caring about anything. Every day, I slept, stayed up all night, got drunk alone and self-harmed. At 20, I dropped out of college after only a year and a half.

I never felt like I was good enough in life. I wasn't pretty enough, I wasn't skinny enough, I wasn't smart enough etc. etc. I was obsessed with what everyone thought of me and I longed for their approval. I wanted love and attention and I craved it from any boys around me. But once they DID show me attention, I couldn't cope with it. Physical intimacy made me feel sick and dirty. I couldn't cope with the teenage lifestyle that my friends seemed to manage so well.

What DeV said about intelligence and depression is exactly what I also experienced. I had always been near the top of my class in primary school. In my Junior Cert I got 10As and 2Bs - an amazing result by all accounts. But for me, it wasn't good enough. 2 people in my year got better than that. Study became the one thing that I excelled at - it was what began to define me. But it was just another coping mechanism and I completely abused it and let it destroy me. My obsession with being the best resulted in a constant anxiety, an inability to relax and huge internal pressure. The Leaving Cert came around and I got 8A1s, one of the best results in the country. I got my scholarship to college, I got this recognition that I had craved. But it didn't make me happy. And once I realised that it wasn't the magical cure I had dreamed of, everything began to fall apart until a year and a half later I couldn't even look a book for more than 5mins without giving up.

Talking about my depression was the best thing I ever did. C&H helped me hugely and I met some fantastic people on there who supported me through my darkest times. I met my boyfriend, my housemates and many other wonderful people on boards. Nowadays, I'm so much better. I returned to college this Sept, studying a course I really enjoy and I've learnt that I don't need to be the best all the time. I've developed so many other interests in life that give me great pleasure every day. I haven't self harmed in over a year. I still get down about my weight sometimes and I'm still on anti-depressants but I've learnt that life doesn't change overnight. Recovering from mental illness is a long and slow process and it often feels like for every step forward, there comes 2 steps backwards. But you just have to keep trying, you have to keep going and you have to try and believe that someday, things will be better. And that is exactly why I share my story. I never, ever believed that I could fix my life, that I could live without some kind of destructive coping mechanism, that I could ever be content. But I am - and I truly believe that every person who suffers from mental illness can live a fulfilling life.

Seren_

Overheal wrote: »

I have a bedroom floor index myself, based on a ratio between 0 and 1 of how much of my floor I can see visibly and how much is obscured by random clutter or laundry.

Haha, I'm the exact same! The state of my bedroom always reflects the state of my mind :P

Brilliant thread - it's so important to raise awareness of mental illness!

Just a little bit of my own experience. I've suffered from depression pretty much most of the last 6 years. There's been some happy times in there (my first year of college especially) but mainly bad tbh. The worst period was the first half of 2010, when I ended up in hospital twice. Not doing well at all at the minute, but I'm seeing a great therapist and it's really helping, I'm also lucky that my GP and psychiatrist are really helpful too

I know this is a bit of a silly thing to say, but if it weren't for boards I don't think I'd still be here. I started posting here properly around the time I started feeling really low, and it was a good distraction from how I was feeling (most of the time anyway). One thread and forum in particular helped so much, namely the "Have you ever had depression?" thread on C&H Just knowing that I wasn't the only one going through a hard time and that other people were able to get through it and feel better helped me so, so much. Thanks to all you boardsies for being awesome

Your Text Here

Your Text Here wrote: »

I'm also lucky that my GP and psychiatrist are really helpful too

This is a massive issue for me. It seems like there just aren't many GPs in Ireland that can give great advice about the area of mental health. Recently I went to my local GP about coming off of these meds - he Oohh'd and Aahh'd, looked in a book and was completely unable to give me any sort of an answer.

Anatom

Wow. Just, wow...

Your description of what depression meant to you - not being down per se, but having that "nothing"/"flatline" feeling - hit like a mallet.

Miss Fluff

Miss Fluff wrote: »

What a brilliant thread DeV. I think there is still such an unfortunate and senseless stigma to the black dog still that it can leave people feeling terribly isolated - great to see such an open and honest thread which will hopefully raise awareness.

You mention that talking about it is really important. Just to remind people that there's a Personal Issues thread here on Boards and while nobody is medically qualified to help, there are lots of kindly folk over there who are too happy to listen.

There's also a very good thread in the Long Term Illness forum for people who suffer from Depression and I think it's also a great resouce for people to offload http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055828992

Thanks again DeV, I think this thread will really help people.

As Insect Overlord mentioned, there is a fantastic thread in Clearasil & Hormones for some of the younger users, as well as other threads. See my sig for links to some of these.

cloud493

I 100% agree with that description. Its like.... I can't describe it nearly as well as that. Its like... just nothing at all. Like, you can still laugh, or smile, at times maybe. but you'll be sitting there, and for me, things that should cause some sort of emotional reaction, it just does nothing.

Millicent

cloud493 wrote: »

I 100% agree with that description. Its like.... I can't describe it nearly as well as that. Its like... just nothing at all. Like, you can still laugh, or smile, at times maybe. but you'll be sitting there, and for me, things that should cause some sort of emotional reaction, it just does nothing.

And the worst of it is, people don't get why you don't just *fix* that behaviour. I remember at one stage not leaving the house for days on end because I was too demotivated to shower or get dressed. It wasn't even that I didn't want to -- I literally could not muster the energy or will necessary to turn off the tv, get off my couch and step under the shower. Even though I needed cigarettes, I would beg and plead with my boyfriend to go and get them for me because I couldn't face the people in the shop looking so scruffy but couldn't do without the cigarettes (I smoke like a trooper when I'm down).

I just felt too "nothing", too numb, too inert to function and would freak out when I had to challenge that feeling with everyday life.

It's definitely why you can't tell people to just snap out of it. Who would live like that if they could just stop it at any time?

DeVore

cloud493 wrote: »

I 100% agree with that description. Its like.... I can't describe it nearly as well as that. Its like... just nothing at all. Like, you can still laugh, or smile, at times maybe. but you'll be sitting there, and for me, things that should cause some sort of emotional reaction, it just does nothing.

Yeah, thats it. I *know* intellectually that I should respond with excitement or anger etc, but at the core, I dont feel it. Its a layer on top so to speak.

But then there are times when emotion, particularly with anger, will burst out and explode and I have absolutely no control (or at least I used not to). So when I was a kid I got into fights over things like injustice or bullying. I would just absolutely lose it.
This also caused problems for me with my father and our relationship suffered (something I'm glad to say has reversed completely).

I found acting relatively easy, in some ways I've been Robert DefnckingNero all my life

DeV.

Seren_

Deleted User wrote: »

This is a massive issue for me. It seems like there just aren't many GPs in Ireland that can give great advice about the area of mental health. Recently I went to my local GP about coming off of these meds - he Oohh'd and Aahh'd, looked in a book and was completely unable to give me any sort of an answer.

I definitely agree with you. A lot of doctors are also too willing to hand out scripts for anti-depressants without even having a chat with their patient. In a lecture last week, we were told that the average GP consultation time for someone with mental illness is 3 minutes - that's just ridiculous.

hairyslug

Was at the gp today, after a bit of nagging from the wife and what i can only call an emotional breakdown lastnight, went through all my problems, was great to get it all of my chest, my wife has suspected that i suffered from depression for sometime now and i went purely to keep her happy, was a strange feeling telling a stranger all my problems but after an hour i came out a lot more relaxed than have been in a long time, the possible "cure" if it can be called that wasnt what i wanted to hear and will take some work but i hope in the long run itll will but me back on the right road.

cloud493

I find counseling, or the ones I tried not very helpful. After my.. incident, i March, they referred me to pieta house. Which is for self injurers. Its a great facility, no doubt, its free, good counseling and what not. I just hate counseling. I hate trying to explain myself to someone who doesn't understand., either how I'm feeling, or what I'm going through, or what's gone on in the past.

Babooshka

Thank you for writing this. I remember telling someone I worked with that I had just faced up to some depression/eating disorder issues about 8 years back. I only told her as I had broken up with a guy who was a close friend of hers, and felt I owed her an explanation as to why, as she had also been very nice to me at work at the time I worked there. Biggest mistake ever. She told me I should keep my mouth shut about it and not tell anyone else at work, that I wouldn't want any record of anti depressants on a work file and that it doesn't look good. It made me feel very small.

I am not sure what she was trying to say was to be practical and offer advice, or if she was just a bitch at heart and conditioned by her own background, and does the reason really matter? I just found it so cold and not understanding at all. I was pretty much blanked by her after that and I think she told others, as my phone stopped ringing a while later. Luckily it was only a contract and I got to walk away but it still hurt and it's made me very reluctant to talk about mental health issues at all to people I work with now, or anyone I am not very close to, and I can count on one hand who I am close to. Don't get me wrong... I do not want to tell everyone I know casually at work that I get depressed sometimes on tea breaks, it's hardly light conversation, but I just find it a very harsh world that someone would say something like that to you when you're revealing a vulnerable side of yourself during a private moment.

Luckily I have a loving partner now I can discuss things with if I feel up to talking about my episodes, but there is quite simply a huge lack of empathy and understanding out there. I think the woman's attitude said a lot more about her than about me - but I allowed what she said to affect my trust in others to the point I never forgot it, and won't tell many people now. Therein lies the problem.

efb

Right doc went well, but out of work til Xmas

flutterflye

I have THIS post by Mickey Dolenz bookmarked on my laptop, just thought I'd stick it here for anyone who also might find it helpful.

I am in the middle of a very bad bout of depression and anxiety atm.
I am still shocked at the amount of ignorance out there, even in close family/friends who I would have thought would know better.
I guess the more it is talked about in the open like this, the more aware and educated people will become.
Well I hope so anyway.

DailyBlaa

I have being suffering from depression for 10 years. You have you good and bad days with it. As the OP said it is nothing to do with your life a lot of the time. I have had nothing but success in everything I have done. I would consider myself very fortunate to have a very good family and I am in an amazing relationship. But none of that stops you feeling utterly empty inside. Not happy, not sad but nothing. It takes away from your self belief so much. It is almost impossible to talk about because of the stigma associated about it. Only one person knows about it in my life.

The worse thing about it is the overwhelming sense of worthlessness you feel. You can't escape it. I would like to thank the OP for this post today as it prompted me to finally admit to it to my work colleagues. It has greatly affected my work of late. Saying it is such a difficult thing to do. I have been in a life threatening situation before but having to stand there and tell someone about this is far more difficult to face.

I know what it is like to be at the very bottom. It is scary beyond belief. It is like being at the bottom of a well and when you look up it is just darkness. When it was really bad before I admit I considered to end it. That day is when I turned to a friend to help me. I will be forever grateful that I did. So my advice to anyone out there suffering in silence don't do it alone. Talking can be the best medicine. When you talk about it it can feel like the weight of the world has been lifted from your shoulders, you feel like you can breath again.

I lost a friend to depression before. It was such a shock. I was talking to him the night he done it and he seemed 'normal'. I was arranging to meet him next week. That is the thing about sufferers from depression, we tend to get very good at hiding our true emotions. That is what makes it so devastating when it all comes to a head. There is such a release of emotion it can lead to some awful consequences. That is why I urge anyone who is feeling like the way the OP described please talk to someone, pick up the phone, send an email whatever it takes to share it and in doing so help yourself.

More needs to be done in Ireland about depression. The stigma of it needs to dealt with. Sufferers don't want your pity only your understanding.

cloud493

Some people just stereotype, shockingly so. Or just don't get it. Which isn't unreasonable really.

Benny_Cake

Was kinda taken aback by the title of this thread - until I saw who posted it Thanks for posting this DeVore and to everyone else who has posted their experiences here.

I've suffered on and off with depression over the years. When I compare my experiences with it with the problems some people have mentioned here, I feel quite lucky really..with me it relates primarily to generalised anxiety (I tend to obsessively worry,which is followed by a spell of depression, and so on..).I'm on medication at the moment which seems to be helping, and I'm seeing a very good counsellor who is helping me view my problems with this in completely new ways, and has helped me figure out that this goes back to a lengthy spell of bullying in school.

There is no silver bullet for all this and for a lot of people it may be something they wrestle with for the rest of their lives. It can be helped though, see a doctor and talk to someone - the first person I spoke to was my OH and she has been an absolute rock to me, despite having put up with a lot.

moco

Did Devore invent boards?

Sarky

DeVore wrote: »

I wonder if there is a genetic element to depression too.

There can be. If you're genetically predisposed to, say, having your brain produce less serotonin (essentially a feelgood chemical), then you're more likely to get some kinds of depression. But there are plenty different kinds of depression, and they're not all based on neurochemistry.

I went through about a year and a half of depression because a nasty combination of serious illness, messy breakup, work stress and having to deal with horrible people all at the same time just flattened my serotonin levels and left the world looking horribly bleak and overwhelming. It's impossible to describe just how unpleasant it is, partly because it hits everyone in its own way. Some people feel nothing but misery, some people feel nothing at all. I wouldn't wish it on the worst criminal, however it strikes.

It can be a catch 22 situation where you feel terrible for no reason, and knowing that makes you feel worse, and you know there's no reason to feel worse which makes you feel even worse, and so on until you're just locking yourself in a toilet cubicle and hiding from the world in the hopes it will just leave you alone.

You can work your way out of it, though it's not at all easy. Once my own serotonin levels started recovering I was pretty much fine, and it was quite enough of a struggle just keeping the edge off the despair until then. I am in awe of anyone who manages to deal with depression on a regular basis, it takes a lot of willpower and determination to keep it in check. Friends and counselling and treatment help, certainly, but depression is a very personal and subjective beast, and all the help in the world is little help if the sufferer doesn't want it. So kudos, you guys. Keep it up. Don't be ashamed to go for help if you need it, you wouldn't be embarrassed about going for antibiotics when you have an ear infection. Same thing applies here.

Mr Benevolent

I get depressed on and off for maybe a few days at a time (like one of the above posters, mainly in the form of obsessive worry and thoughts of death) and frankly haven't told anyone. My dad has had a psychosis for years and while he's ok now he was fairly unstable for years, and I don't want to be treated like he was (by myself and my family). Frankly, it seems like a silly thing for me to admit when I can still function fine. Is this a stupid attitude? Maybe.

MetalDog

Great post OP. . . we need to discard the stupid backward attitude towards mental illness & suffering that people have, not just in this country, but in most of the modern world.

TeddyTedson

moco wrote: »

Did Devore invent boards?

Or was it boards invented DeVore, I forget:P

I remember reading somewhere that depression could be defined as extreme sadness for a period of longer than 2 weeks, but after reading DeVs post that is obviously an awful definition. I wonder how many people suffer from depression without really knowing it.

smash

Another thing is that a lot of people confuse depression with GAD (generalised anxiety disorder). I'm not sure which is worse though.

Teyla Emmagan

Great post OP.

I suffer from anxiety, which I have struggled with for the last few years (GAD as it happens, thanks Smash). Not as bad as depression, but it can have an awful affect on your life at the same time. I have had days when I was afraid to go into work, couldn't focus on the smallest task, found fault with everything I did and was utterly overwhelmed by the most basic tasks. Thankfully I have a great doctor though, so after one panic attack too far, we gave up the 'rest and take it easy' approach a kick to the kerb and started me on some SSRIs. They have made the most massive difference to my life. I literally would have had to give up working without them and my mood is hugely improved.

So all I have to add to the thread is don't suffer in silence - reach out and get help.

thebaz

depression is such a curse of Modern life - sadly i believe, it is never really understood unless you have been unfortunate eneogh to actually suffer with it - patience in my mind is the only cure, waiting for life to swing back to hope , when minutes seem like days .... life constantly changes and never stands still - just keep riding the journey of life , swings , and roundabouts

without the darkness how much poorer the Art world would be - from Rothko to Joy Division - Pollock to Hemmingway

Swimming in cold sea water i find benificial , the freezing water can calm and **** the emotional pain

Benny_Cake

smash wrote: »

Another thing is that a lot of people confuse depression with GAD (generalised anxiety disorder). I'm not sure which is worse though.

Believe you me, it is quite common that the two go together.The thing about GAD is that it wears you out worrying and being on guard all the time, so it makes it easier for depression to take hold. I know I saw some statistics about the commonality of both GAD and depression, I'll see if I can find the link.

degausserxo

DeVore wrote: »

I wonder if there is a genetic element to depression too.

I'd say there definitely is a genetic element to it. Two of my mam's brothers have schizophrenia, she herself was on antipsychotics for years, and I've been treated for psychosis for the past two years now. That can't be coincidental.

xia

I'm reading this thread now for a while now. I wanted to say something earlier, wasn't sure what but am back after talking to a friend who called me to talk about a mutual friend who is struggleing at the moment.

I don't think I suffer from depression. I do have my times where I don't want to see or talk to anybody but I know that I can change my mind set - when it's time for me to do so (usually latest after three days) and can look forward again. And this happens usually after me being too busy with my life to look after myself. So to me that is some sort of recovering time for me to bring me back to basics and to put things into perspective again.

I took part in SineadW's project for FirstFortnight. That plus Kate Fitzgerald's life and suicide plus this article by Rosemary Mac Cabe in the Irish Times last week and now this thread plus the conversation with my friend actually made me be schocked about myself.

About how ignorant I seem to be.

And that even though I thought I am sensitive and intuitive in seeing how people / friends around me feel. And that's what I get told by friends how I am.

But I wasn't aware of the amount of people / friends around me that do suffer from depression. But at the moment I learn that of more and more friends and am schocked that I didn't see that.

So I am glad that this thread was started by Tom. Thank you. To me it shows how important it is for everyone that suffers from depression to say so to whoever they feel it is right to tell. Because the people around you might just not see it - no matter how much they care about you - because depression is just not something easy to see.

Micky Dolenz

This is exactly why I love boards and AH.

Fair balls to everyone who has shared here. It can take courage to speak honestly and openly about how you feel within. Great post DeV, it really has got the ball rolling.

Now if we could only get the country talking about it we may make this corner of the world a little better.

Benny_Cake

xia wrote: »

About how ignorant I seem to be.

And that even though I thought I am sensitive and intuitive in seeing how people / friends around me feel. And that's what I get told by friends how I am.

But I wasn't aware of the amount of people / friends around me that do suffer from depression. But at the moment I learn that of more and more friends and am schocked that I didn't see that.

Don't beat yourself up over it - don't forget that most people who are depressed don't necessarily want you to find out about it, so they'll hide it if they can. Also, and I speak from experience here, if you're going through a bad bout of it you can try to avoid people, there are a few friends that I have lost over the years because of this. If there is one positive thing that people could do it would be to try to keep the lines of communication with friends open - rather than just assume they are acting the d**k for not keeping in touch (they could be, of course)!

bayern282

KKkitty wrote: »

I suffer from anxiety and even though it's no laughing matter I've done so many irrational things cos of anxiety. I can't have a pain without thinking something is wrong. I'm a bit of a hypochondriac. I feel like a basket case most of the time.

Hows it going, anxiety is my black dog, getting treatment for it, I encounter clinically depressed people at the centre I go to, and there's no way I'd trade places with them, it looks far worse ( though I realise we all only see the world through our own eyes so can only guess at what they go through )

kowloon

I remember sitting in a lecture hall a while back, it was one of those introductory things where they let you know how things run.
Anyway, one of the lecturers was telling about extensions and the likes and mentions how it's important to include a doctors note if you need extra time for a 'medical issue or depression or whatever, if you believe in that kind of thing', something to that effect.
This lecturer wasn't all that old so I wouldn't shrug it off as some out of touch academic.
These fcukers are still out there and they're a very much a part of the problem.

TaxationTheft

MetalDog wrote: »

Great post OP. . . we need to discard the stupid backward attitude towards mental illness & suffering that people have, not just in this country, but in most of the modern world.

The real primary reason people give out about mental illness and it's ever expanding diagnostic criteria is poor research. I don't believe "intermittent explosive disorder" is a medical condition for example. If society wants to remove the stigma of mental illness, people are going to have to accept that research into the actual causes of mental illness will have to be stepped up to the level expected in physical medicine.

Take your life into your own hands and never blindly trust other people. This is the advice that worked for me. Become angry at the world and don't take any crap. This will work wonders for your mental health. Realise that there are people out there who are willing to destroy your life. Through both legitimate and illlegitimate means. Common sense really.

Until Doctors are willing to up the ante, more sufferers will suffer in silence, the suicide rate will continue to rise exponentially, and medical companies will continue to profit from real genuine human suffering. Depression is the final frontier. The most dangerous disease to possibly inflict someone is also poorly understood:(

stephen_k

Fantastic post DeV.... Some of my experience follows...

Suffered with depression and anxiety/panic attacks on/off for years, and trying to explain to the loved ones in my life whats happening and why it's happening is the hardest part... When I'm curled up in a ball, debilitated with panic for no rational reason being asked repeatedly, "is it this, that you're worried about" "is it that, that you're worried about" "is it something I've done"... I know they are only trying to help, trying to understand, but the simple fact is there is no one reason, I can't explain it to them...

Medication has helped me in the past, but it feels like a lid has been nailed on over the box, you know the panic is there, it just can't get out, but it hasn't gone away... Thankfully I'm in a relatively good place right now, no need for medication at the moment (except for the odd Xanax, where would I be without Xanax), I also find I'm much better when I ease off on the booze, short term it helps burn off the excess adrenaline, but long term it does way more damage than good...

TaxationTheft

Boards.ie pieta house/mental illness fund perhaps? Too many people suffer from depression which eventually leads to suicide. This is a bastard of an illness. More work into this area is badly needed.

To anybody suffering from depression - get help. No issue is too stupid. Professionals will treat these issues. You aren't the first, and you most certainly won't be the last to suffer from depression.

SEEK HELP

starlings

As someone who has not suffered from depression, but has listened to those who have, I think there's more to the divide between the depressed and the rest of society than ignorance .

It is very hard to listen to someone suffer, especially if you love them. Some of us worry, some suggest practical approaches, others block it out because while depression isn't contagious, sadness is; when none of these work we blame ourselves/the healthcare system and this doesn't help either. In fact it perpetuates the problem.

There are a lot of conflicting theories about the nature of depression (e.g. the correlation with high intelligence - sour grape champagne, anyone?:)) and about its treatment. The "just listen" message is being widely promoted, and it's a start, but it's not enough. What do we do with what we hear? When and how do we suggest professional help? What if the depressed person refuses? There is a world of difference between understanding depression and understanding what to do when someone is depressed, and it is the latter I would like to hear more about.

I appreciate that with all the variables of each individual and their circumstances, and those of their loved ones, there can be no guidelines to suit all cases. Perhaps a process, such as that used in Al-Anon (for families and friends of alcoholics) might help? The goal here would be to support the people who wish to support someone who is depressed because, from what I have read here, a vicious circle of isolation is a frequent experience.