Filthy atheists stealing our Christmas

ShooterSF · 26-10-2011 12:26AM

Sarky wrote: »

Christmas became so much more fun once I gave up all that midnight mass stuff.

While my parents and sister are off praying for renewed family ties through the magic of kneeling down and not talking to eachother, I'm with my two brothers actually renewing family ties through the magic of the pint-volume white russian, large cuban cigars and that classic film that teaches us the TRUE meaning of the season, Die Hard.

NEWSFLASH: Atheists team up with Commies to steal Christmas!

Doctor DooM · 26-10-2011 01:11AM

ShooterSF wrote: »

NEWSFLASH: Atheists team up with Commies to steal Christmas!

Don't you know atheists ARE the commies?

Good Christians are capitalists, duh.

Penn · 26-10-2011 09:12AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pR_8kmOmxyk

Paparazzo · 26-10-2011 10:27AM

Sarky wrote: »

Christmas became so much more fun once I gave up all that midnight mass stuff.

I used to hate mass at christmas. My "catholic" parents used to make me and my brother go to mass even though they hadn't gone in about 20 years. They gave up making us go on sunday, but persisted with christmas for a few more years

Can't think of a worse thing to make a kid do. Give them a load of new toys and tell them they can't play with them till they're back from an hour of mass.

In fact, if hell does exist, it's a never ending session of mass on christmas day on one of those poxy uncomfortable wooden church benches.

26-10-2011 10:50AM

just quote jeremiah 10 at them

Thus saith the Lord, Learn not the way of the heathen.... For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.

Yes, it's out of context. No, I don't care, because it's funny

ShooterSF · 26-10-2011 11:57AM

Penn wrote: »

*muppets vid*

Along with Die Hard and, the last few years, Bad Santa, I watch that film every year.

Sarky · 26-10-2011 12:03PM

Ah, Bad Santa. I love that film just for adding the phrase "you won't be able to sh*t straight for a week" to my repertoire.

sensibleken · 26-10-2011 12:50PM

Political correctness gone maaaaaaaadd!!!!!

aidan24326 · 26-10-2011 12:55PM

tricky D wrote: »

Remind me now please, which festivals was Xmas robbed from?

Something to do with the Winter Solstice, some old Pagan Festival. No evidence at all that Jesus was born around December 25th. (not much evidence that he was born any other time either but we'll leave that for now).

But if I met Jesus now I would thank him for all those delicious Christmas dinners and the hot port and brandy and the few days off work. Cheers Jesus.

[-0-] · 26-10-2011 01:43PM

Bad Santa is an EPIC movie!

Sarky - your festivities sound quite spectacular. Good job kind sir. This will be my first year out of the country so I will be celebrating Christmas with my girlfriend and her family. It will probably be my second ever white Christmas too. Sweet! Likewise, while they are out visting their local church I will be getting stuck in to a bottle of Midleton and some turkey & ham sammichs with YR sauce, and a bit of salt and mustard too.

If anyone complains about you celebrating family time (that's essentially what this is, a family holiday) - say to them that Christians stole Christmas from the Pagans thanks to Constantine. It was a Pagan holiday before they came along. That usually shuts people up. Christ was born in March/April timeframe.

Malari · 26-10-2011 01:52PM

I'm just tell them I'm quite comfortable with being a hypocrite

Penn · 26-10-2011 02:03PM

ShooterSF wrote: »

Along with Die Hard and, the last few years, Bad Santa, I watch that film every year.

My Christmas Movie List:
Die Hard
Muppet Christmas Carol
Bad Santa
Scrooged
Elf

:cool:

Dades · 26-10-2011 02:08PM

Only pegged Die Hard 2 as the greatest Christmas movie ever on my Facebook a couple of weeks ago.

I hated Bad Santa.

[-0-] · 26-10-2011 02:16PM

Dades wrote: »

I hated Bad Santa.

Witch! Burn her! :eek:

New_Flash · 26-10-2011 02:17PM

Sarky wrote: »

....the TRUE meaning of the season, Die Hard.

Amen Brother!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTyw6cq86kY

Penn · 26-10-2011 02:23PM

Dades wrote: »

Only pegged Die Hard 2 as the greatest Christmas movie ever on my Facebook a couple of weeks ago.

Die hard 2? Ahead of Die Hard 1?

Madness. Bad Santa I can understand, but Die Hard 2 better than 1?

Die Hard 1 symbolises Christmas perfectly. Meet up with family (wife). See some people you don't want to see (terrorists). Play a few games (big shoot-outs). Bit of an argument over what to watch on telly (blow up the roof of a building). Have a laugh (Ho Ho Ho now I have a machine gun). Eat and drink too much (Ellis taking too much coke). And just sit around and do nothing (most of the hostages and Argyle in the limo)

the_syco · 26-10-2011 03:04PM

Was Jesus born on 25th December? Then why is the new year a few days later? Ever think that Jesus may have been born on the 1st of January, and that the 25th is just a pagan festival that the christains took over?

Usually shuts them up :P

=-=

I celebrate birthdays, easters, chrimbo, St Patricks International Irish Drinking Day, and one or two other yearly festivals.

ShooterSF · 26-10-2011 03:17PM

Remember as well that pastafarians celebrate "Holiday" around that time of year too and anyone who wishes you "Happy Holidays" is in fact (probably) referring to said celebrations. And as Holiday is celebrated by many more than christmas, including the White House and more recently Thomas the Tank Engine I could suggest that atheists (and commies) are actually stealing Holiday instead. Bastards.

Dades · 26-10-2011 03:40PM

Penn wrote: »

Die hard 2? Ahead of Die Hard 1?

Not enough snow (or Christmas sweaters) in Die Hard 1 to be truly a Christmas movie!

Sorry - I don't make the rules!

MrStuffins · 26-10-2011 04:59PM

Some great Festivus movies being suggested here. But the thread is missing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGrLLn4nooQ

iguana · 26-10-2011 05:48PM

No love for...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h24CFZqSEAA

ShooterSF · 26-10-2011 06:35PM

iguana wrote: »

No love for...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h24CFZqSEAA

Grrr. Even as a kid I sat through that film questioning what constitutes after midnight.

Coriolanus · 26-10-2011 08:57PM

Come on, no Batman?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKiG_9C5T8E

The Quadratic Equation · 26-10-2011 09:29PM

MrPudding wrote: »

Hi all,

I thought I would get this one over with nice an early this year so we can all relax and enjoy our winter holiday.

So, blah blah blah, you don't believe in jesus so why do you celebrate CHRISTmas blah blah blah, you are such a hypocrite, blah blah blah, CHRISTmas is for CHRISTians, blah blah blah, CHRISTmas much be crap in your house 'cos you are a filthy atheist and don't believe in anything, blah blah blah.

Please chip in if I missed anything.

MrP

Playing the victims again. :rolleyes:

The Quadratic Equation · 26-10-2011 09:31PM

Knasher wrote: »

I don't see any foxholes. :pac:

They looked like they were on their hols.

MagicMarker · 26-10-2011 09:35PM

The Quadratic Equation wrote: »

Playing the victims again. :rolleyes:

This calls for a random picture.

The Quadratic Equation · 26-10-2011 09:40PM

MagicMarker wrote: »

This calls for a random picture.

I'd wear sunglasses next time if I were you

Dades · 26-10-2011 09:54PM

The Quadratic Equation wrote: »

Playing the victims again. :rolleyes:

Sooo, Die Hard or Die Hard II?

ShooterSF · 26-10-2011 10:15PM

The Quadratic Equation wrote: »

Playing the victims again. :rolleyes:

I know Christians play the victim card often and it can be difficult to tell especially with the subtle genius of Mr. P's original post but it was actually a parody! I know I know, when realised it my face was like :eek: too.

Sarky · 26-10-2011 10:18PM

Parody? Isn't that, like, one of the sacraments or something?

Filthy atheists stealing our Christmas

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